ForumGarden

Milky coffee, good book and hot bath then jump into bed and the next day things always look better.

everything always looks better after a nap! if that doesn't work, i just cry a little bit...and sleep some more!

Sometimes we need a change in our surroundings. A trip to the desert (wilderness).

Far Rider wrote: I'm not an overly Emotional guy, I feel them deep with in me but I don't very often express them, especially in public. In my private life, when I shut down and have time to introspect... I can do the same thing... just turn them off, usually.

So these past three to four weeks I've had lots of emotional swings about everyday life stuff...

I just decided I'm angry and its not a bad thing... it helps me get through the tough times.

So how do you deal with your emotions?

Calgon? Wine and quiet music? Blow stuff up? Unload a full clip into a pumpkin? What?


It's good to take a step back and really look at the situation, most times you'll find things always seem to appear to be worse than they really are. Especially when emotional. Everyday life stuff can be very upsetting, if you let it get out of perspective. If you & your family are all OK, that's all that really matters, then the rest is just "stuff' as you put it! Famous words: " And this too shall pass" is so very true, no matter what it is, it will eventually pass. It just does!

Taking a long walk can help relieve stress, give you some fresh air, & get you some exercise at the same time! Listening to your "favorite tunes" can also help you to calm down. And when all else fails, you can always come to the Garden & vent!!!

A good sleep and then talk it over with the other half to get a different perspective always helps.

If you don't normally work with your hands...build something that won't take very long to get done. Be sure you finish it.

I'm not good in confiding in people .....a few glasses of wine, a good sleep and then keep telling myself that there are plenty of folk around far worse off than me.

Well, I usually start cleaning like crazy when i am in a "funk" about life. But when I am really feeling pissed off and it is driving me bananas.....and there is nothing that can fix the situation AT ALL....(like my daughter's diabetes)...I admit self defeat and do something to take care of my SELF. I QUIT cleaning, relax and indulge in something....like rest. Or my favorite food...or just calling a friend and talking about it....or skipping the gym for a few days!!! Maybe even shopping. But I think maybe these are not the things that could fix a man.....Hmmmmmm Far Rider, do you think indulging/spoiling yourself would help?? For example on Sat. morning you could sleep in, then get up and eat a big hot breakfast....and then watch one of your favorite shows....(no yardwork or chores) or go to your favorite place (turn off cell phone) and have steak for dinner ........i dunno.... could this work?

PS...could you share with us what you are angry about? Or is this too private? I may be able to help more.... My friends do call me the advice columnist!

Bez wrote: I'm not good in confiding in people .....a few glasses of wine, a good sleep and then keep telling myself that there are plenty of folk around far worse off than me.


Bez is my clone or I am hers cause she often says just what I would say.

But hey Farlie a good nites sleep does wonders.

Far Rider wrote: These are circmustances of life beyond my control...


"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."



If it's beyond your control, leave it alone. Plain and simple.



When I'm going nuts, there's lots of things I do, depending on the situation. If I'm annoyed, I clean, if I'm highly p!ssed, I punch the heavy bag. If I'm sad, I ride, if I'm scared, I clean my guns. It all varies depending on what I'm feeling. Sometimes a walk in the woods to clear the brain, sometimes a drive. Sometimes a brisk work-out just to exhaust my bod. Usually some sort of hard physical activity is the ticket.

Good luck with this, Far, whatever it is.

minks wrote: Bez is my clone or I am hers cause she often says just what I would say.



But hey Farlie a good nites sleep does wonders.




Minks...we must be 'soul mates'....awwww:-6

Bez wrote: Minks...we must be 'soul mates'....awwww:-6


yes we are very similar hehehehe :yh_youkid

I like to think I handle emmotional strain well... but I dont. It affects my sleeping.Ive been functioning with very little lately. I rarely get anger. Actually I always turn horrendous circumstances into comedy routines. I laugh, make everyone else laugh. Inside Im crying. I also do hit the old wine bottle. Like to think Im a wine conniseur... but its really become a sedative. The irony of that is that the wine disrupts your sleep.

I do not handle emotional strain well, I just go with the flow and fib about the immense pressure, until I finally get good and mad. *like my incident about breaking the plate intentionally I told on LC's thread* Otherwise, since I have no possible outlet much for relief, I just kind of plunge on until the stress level lessens. *most of my outlet is here, it is my one indulgence in life*

Now you Far, must take the stress seriously, since it has affected you physically. You have to get that under control, and find an outlet for your stress. There are some nice suggestions posted, I like the option of you going away-for a weekend, a nice long camping trip or something like that. While the weather is still nice enough there. Go out and get nice and tired, in a good way. Enjoy the beauty of your surroundings. Commune with nature and God. Take some of the boys along if you think that would make it fun, or your older son.

You're as bad as me, which job to go to next............................

But I have weathered the physical toll on my body from the stress, it is your turn to figure out how to do it. You have to stay in good shape for your family.

I understand, too much work, too much pressure. I have trouble keeping the jobs apart sometimes, and the jump from teaching to music takes a mind meld sometimes.

Eventually, one of my jobs have to go, the one at church in temporary-if it goes on too long, I will have to stop after the Holidays. I think that would be my stress level limit.

Normally I plough on through it, but every now and again when it gets real bad, I retreat, I need time on my own to ponder, cry etc, but I rarely get angry. It also affects my sleeping pattern and I become a walking zombie.

I tend to displace my emotions. I'll be sad about situation x so I'll cry...only I'll cry while watching the Style network or during a life insurance commercial or something else innapropriate. Then I'll get to a point where the tension bursts out in a sometimes comical fit of completely over the top yelling and arm waving. But getting a good night's sleep really does work wonders. I almost always wake up feeling a little more in control. Or maybe it's morning stupor. Either way, it's nice.

Im so easy going nothing really gets to me, because thats the way I will it. That doesnt mean I dont care, I care very deeply about the important things, its just that most things arent all that important. With one exception ! BabyRider....now if theres one thing in the world that gets me frazzled its a BabyRider.

Nomad wrote: BabyRider....now if theres one thing in the world that gets me frazzled its a BabyRider.
LMFAO!!!



My work here is done.

Maybe baby but my work has just begun !

Nomad wrote: Maybe baby but my work has just begun !
Oh, if you only knew....



Hey!! Someone get in here with an energy bar for Nomad, he's gonna need it!!! :yh_rotfl

Far Rider wrote: :yh_rotfl



see my stress factor is decreasing already.....
We're all here to help in our own little ways, Far. :yh_kiss

BabyRider wrote: Oh, if you only knew....



Hey!! Someone get in here with an energy bar for Nomad, he's gonna need it!!! :yh_rotfl




Well thats what Ive been tryin to tell ya all along ! I do know !!! Ive cancelled all my other patients, your a full time gig ! :p

Yeah Miss Vicky! What a woman!

*lucky guy, I look forward to working only 2 jobs one day soon*

Far Rider wrote: A dozen roses were delivered about an hour ago... she finally got brave enough and asked me who they are from.... um dont know I said... she handed me the card...

They are for me, from my wife....

.... mushy stuff....mushy stuff.... then this.... "you can resign any one of the three jobs you want".... more mushy stuff...."



Vicky's one heck of a woman!:-4


Far, your "best friend" is very supportive. Supportive by loving you, letting you know you have a choices, she'll support your decision to retire from any or all your jobs whenever you decide to.

Ya know, you sound much like my husband in so many ways. He too, at one time, had too many irons in the fire at once, working too many jobs and running on empty. I finally suggested to him that he needed to start enjoying life by slowing down and do what he really loves to do. That we could manage on whatever income that came in. He finally let go of two jobs and is happy as a lark now. He has more quality time to do the things he loves...hunting, woodworking, building things, etc. He wonders now how he ever had the energy to work 3 jobs and fit everything else into his life.

Time passes quickly my friend. Make some of it "your time," to hell with everything else.

I wish you well Far Rider and a good nights sleep!

Far don't let that stress kill you! i wish i had the answer to dealing with it, but deal you must. i let job stress lead me to a heart attack, now the job situation has devastated me as well, and i don't know how to handle the stress either, i am always weepy. if you find a way to relieve it, i would like to know. ...anyway, all i really wanted to emphasize is don't let it beat up your body. sometimes you don't even realize it.

LC, You are so right, stress with kill you.. It take hold of your body in many ways.. !!

When I feel stressed I do something physical... be it gardening at my Moms, working on my car, working on a PC.. or just playing with my sisters puppy DAISY.. A pet can take the stress right out of you in seconds.. Take your dog for a walk, or got to a pet store and feel the love. Nothing like a puppy or a kitty to hold that makes you forget all your problems.. :-4

I also get my grand daughters coloring book and she and I color for hours.. what a stress reliever that is..

JAB wrote: My close friends tell me I'm a good listener and that I give good advice when they have problems. Rather than trying to medicate myself with a beer or glass of wine all the time when I have a stress of my own, I'm trying to be a better friend to myself by listening to my own advice.

I try to break 'whatever' down into small bits and deal with things little by little.

I ask myself some questions and make myself lists:

What's the worse thing that could happen in this situation?

What is in my control to change?

What little thing can I do now?

What kind of help can I ask for and who is available to help out?

And yes, I also remind myself that many others have it much worse which makes my stress less stressful in the long run.


JAB, I don't know you, but your answer could have been written by me. When I have a personal problem, I don't talk to people about it, work it out on my own. And with menopause and a bunch of personal stuff now I am crying a lot! It's so frustrating because the only way to end the problem is to walk away from it and I'm not ready to do that so I feel for the first time in my life I'm not handling things right! But still, I know that when I'm ready I know what to do, so that in itself is an answer. Sounds like Far knows that too and is not ready just yet...good support like his wife and friends here go a long way to help with this stuff, but until we know the answer and are willing to follow through, yes, cleaning, a glass or two of wine, a cry, a shower and a decent night's sleep; morning always comes..