Traditional or Untradtional, that's the question

laneybug · Post by **laneybug** » Fri May 11, 2007 1:46 pm

So I just got engaged... May 8th. And we set the day for May 8th, '08. Yay! Anyway.... we're having an untraditional wedding. No big wedding dress, no tuxedos, no wedding party, no church, etc. It's gonna be outside by the water, done by a notary public who's a friend of ours and happens to work at the same place. It'll be small and intimate. And for gawd's sake, no dressing up.

So... would you all have a traditional or untraditional wedding? If you're already married, what was it? Just curious to see the consensus out there!

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Fri May 11, 2007 1:50 pm

I say make it a flip flop wedding. Everyone wears flip flops and their best aloha shirts. Drink pina colada's and Margaritas.

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Fri May 11, 2007 2:00 pm

Congratulations, I say do whatever makes you and your partner happy, after all it's your special day :-4

minks · Post by **minks** » Fri May 11, 2007 2:23 pm

laneybug;610950 wrote: So I just got engaged... May 8th. And we set the day for May 8th, '08. Yay! Anyway.... we're having an untraditional wedding. No big wedding dress, no tuxedos, no wedding party, no church, etc. It's gonna be outside by the water, done by a notary public who's a friend of ours and happens to work at the same place. It'll be small and intimate. And for gawd's sake, no dressing up.

So... would you all have a traditional or untraditional wedding? If you're already married, what was it? Just curious to see the consensus out there!

Congratulations how exciting. That is awesome

:-6

Well if I marry again I would go small, and simple, and non traditional, and unique, yeah maybe get married on Survivor ahahaha

Hun I like your idea big time. Enjoy yourself it's your day to do it up your way... ok that sounds like a Macdonalds ad now... sorry really I like your style.

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Fri May 11, 2007 2:26 pm

Come on who voted and didn't post

:wah:

laneybug · Post by **laneybug** » Fri May 11, 2007 2:41 pm

Thanks guys! I'm definitely doing it the way I want it...and of course how hubby wants it. Thankfully we feel the same way.

I'm not even wearing a diamond for my engagement ring. It's silver, with a celtic love knot in the middle. After all that with blood diamonds and dirty diamonds, I couldn't bear the thought of wearing one.

YZGI... flip flops... good idea! :wah: We'll all probably end up going barefoot! And since I love to sew, I have some ideas on what my dress will be.

Thanks all for the positive feedback. You all rock. :-4

JacksDad · Post by **JacksDad** » Mon May 14, 2007 6:42 pm

Mags,that's beautiful.

I think you just proved the arguement against weddings.

:-6

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Mon May 14, 2007 10:12 pm

magenta flame;613052 wrote: thanks JD

I think weddings have become a bigger than Ben Hur situation. I watched all my sisters get so stressed, and thought, what the hell are you doing ? It's supposed to be a happy occasion. They spent sooooooooo much money. (and all three are divorced

) what a waste!

If people just realised it's not about 'the day', it's about the 50 to 70 years afterwards.

If I can give any advice to anyone getting married it's this :

You are going to learn to hate another human being with a passion! But you're also going to learn to love that person and want to protect them with a passion that you never knew you had in you.

Stepping off the soap box now ...........carry on.:wah:

works for me MF and we are not even married :wah: :wah:

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Mon May 14, 2007 10:31 pm

magenta flame;613055 wrote: Fair call Jimbo!............................................... but you will marry.........one day. ...............because like us (if you noticed the three offspring in the pic) you'll get what marriage really is. It's not about the hype it's about the everyday existance of a family:) Maybe you kno wthat already, I reckon you do.:sneaky:

no i meant i hate you and we are not even married :wah: :wah:

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Mon May 14, 2007 10:42 pm

magenta flame;613059 wrote:

I missed that like a bus .

I'm very disappointed in you jimbo

:wah: :wah: after i posted i thought i hope she dont think i meant that , then i started laughing and i was disappointed when you never saw the funny , but i'm only joking as if any one could hate the lovely easy going MF :sneaky:

laneybug · Post by **laneybug** » Tue May 15, 2007 1:10 pm

Pinky;611026 wrote: Contrats Laney!!!:-6

Mine was a cross between the two...I don't do churches, so it was a registry office do with a Medieval Banquet afterwards. Everyone wore medieval outfits, ate with just a knife, traditional Med cookery and drinks, even the music was authentic! Plus we had some ace games in between courses! Everyone really got into the spirit of the thing and thumped on the tables to cheer and stuff! Loads of people said it was the most fun do they'd ever been to!

Not planning on bothering again, but if I did it would be something really simple, in the middle of the woods or something!

Thanks Pinky!!

Your wedding sounds like a bunch of fun! I've never been to anything Medieval, but I'm sure I would've loved that.

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Tue May 15, 2007 1:25 pm

I missed this thread...how is that??

Oh I love Pinky's and Magenta's posts/weddings...I am all for the laid back beach wedding Laney Bug...I love that too!

I had 2 small church weddings to the same man (divorced him in between and then 10 years after the second time) Mom made my dresses and did alot of the catering, so we never spent alot of money on them.

I would like a "fun" wedding if I EVER get married again...something very laid back...Outside preferably. My brother and his wife got married on the campground they lived at a year ago...It was by a little lake and they were in front of a beautiful white Gazebo...I loved it...we were all in t-shirts and shorts, well some of us wore sun dresses...but the girls were comfortable...:wah:

laneybug · Post by **laneybug** » Tue May 15, 2007 1:45 pm

magenta flame;613031 wrote: Laney have you decided what you're going to do yet?:)

Well, I've been tossing some ideas around. I have about a year to make all the plans and such.... ugh.. a year seems like forever away!!

Some ideas... I know it'll be by the water, outside. I'd like to do it right next to the water, if possible, either river or ocean. Everything will be outside, the party afterwards, etc. Mostly, it'll be a big party, that's what I want. A big celebration. I don't care if the ceremony itself lasts 5 minutes, I want to get down to business and dance, eat, drink and be merry! :wah:

I'm not spending money on a bunch of decorations or flowers. I'll have a small bouquet, probably white roses since those where the first kind of flowers my fiance ever surprised me with. I'm really not into a wedding party either, with bridesmaids, flower girls, etc. And I'm really tossing the idea around of whether or not I want my dad to "give me away" or not. I've never really liked the thought of that. I'm my own woman... and I don't need someone to give me away.

For food, I want it to be of a potluck, barbecue type thing. I'm also not throwing money away on a catered party and such.

Dress code will be informal. In fact, no dress code. Come as you, for all I care. And as for my dress.... it's going to be simple... probably something a lot like this. Yeah, it's black, which is kind of taboo at a wedding, but I still love it.

Click on the pic and you'll see a bigger view of it.

I have so much to plan! I'll let you all know more specifics as soon as I know myself! :wah:

Thanks for all the support and congrats, and for sharing all your ideas. :-4

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Tue May 15, 2007 1:48 pm

laneybug;613541 wrote: Well, I've been tossing some ideas around. I have about a year to make all the plans and such.... ugh.. a year seems like forever away!!

Some ideas... I know it'll be by the water, outside. I'd like to do it right next to the water, if possible, either river or ocean. Everything will be outside, the party afterwards, etc. Mostly, it'll be a big party, that's what I want. A big celebration. I don't care if the ceremony itself lasts 5 minutes, I want to get down to business and dance, eat, drink and be merry!

I'm not spending money on a bunch of decorations or flowers. I'll have a small bouquet, probably white roses since those where the first kind of flowers my fiance ever surprised me with. I'm really not into a wedding party either, with bridesmaids, flower girls, etc. And I'm really tossing the idea around of whether or not I want my dad to "give me away" or not. I've never really liked the thought of that. I'm my own woman... and I don't need someone to give me away.

For food, I want it to be of a potluck, barbecue type thing. I'm also not throwing money away on a catered party and such.

Dress code will be informal. In fact, no dress code. Come as you, for all I care. And as for my dress.... it's going to be simple... probably something a lot like this. Yeah, it's black, which is kind of taboo at a wedding, but I still love it.

Click on the pic and you'll see a bigger view of it.

I have so much to plan! I'll let you all know more specifics as soon as I know myself! :wah:

Thanks for all the support and congrats, and for sharing all your ideas. :-4

Love that dress :-4 I also like the one MF wore

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Tue May 15, 2007 2:00 pm

magenta flame;613549 wrote: sounds good to me . Partay! don't forget to have some kind of shelter for the oldies or in case the weather turns:)

Normally find the oldens are livin it up and the middle age people are sitting on a chair, rubbing their feet (well ok, thats what I do)

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Tue May 15, 2007 2:10 pm

About a year ago, I went down to South Carolina with an old boyfriend to see his Daughter and we took her to the beach, walked out and there was a wedding right there, real small and only people dressed up were bride and groom, she had a beautiful short dress on though...it was SO Cool!! LOVED IT!!:-6

laneybug · Post by **laneybug** » Tue May 15, 2007 2:29 pm

magenta flame;613549 wrote: sounds good to me . Partay! don't forget to have some kind of shelter for the oldies or in case the weather turns:)

Yes, definitely. And shelter for me, too, cause I don't care for long periods of direct sunlight. Call me weird. Actually... now thinking of it.... I'd love a sunset wedding. Have the party at night with tiki torches and a fire. My fiance and I love to camp too, so maybe we'd have our wedding night in the tent by the fire!

Speaking of outside shelter, I don't know what they're called, but they're really big white tents with a high ceiling that you can fit tons of people in standing up. What are those called?? I've seen them at a lot of wedding receptions outside where they have picnic tables to eat at and even room for dancing. Hmmm... must find out...

laneybug · Post by **laneybug** » Tue May 15, 2007 2:32 pm

WonderWendy3;613558 wrote: About a year ago, I went down to South Carolina with an old boyfriend to see his Daughter and we took her to the beach, walked out and there was a wedding right there, real small and only people dressed up were bride and groom, she had a beautiful short dress on though...it was SO Cool!! LOVED IT!!:-6

Sounds cool!

I haven't entirely ruled out a shorter dress. And even though the dress I posted is all one color, I would really like that style with some paisley print fabric. I love anything paisley. I won't have to worry about shoes, though, I'm going barefoot or wearing sandals of some sort, probably flip flops! :wah:

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Tue May 15, 2007 2:47 pm

laneybug;613573 wrote: Yes, definitely. And shelter for me, too, cause I don't care for long periods of direct sunlight. Call me weird. Actually... now thinking of it.... I'd love a sunset wedding. Have the party at night with tiki torches and a fire. My fiance and I love to camp too, so maybe we'd have our wedding night in the tent by the fire!

Speaking of outside shelter, I don't know what they're called, but they're really big white tents with a high ceiling that you can fit tons of people in standing up. What are those called?? I've seen them at a lot of wedding receptions outside where they have picnic tables to eat at and even room for dancing. Hmmm... must find out...

The heavy waterproof canvas one is a marquee and the light cotton sunshade type is a gazebo

NotToday · Post by **NotToday** » Wed May 16, 2007 8:01 pm

Whenever I finally get engaged, then married... lol..

I want to get married on a beach in a private ceremony. Then come back and have a huge party with family and friends to celebrate! :-6

NotToday · Post by **NotToday** » Wed May 16, 2007 8:31 pm

almostfamous;614769 wrote: uh, it's not a party without me :-1

duh. and lala would kill you. we have to come, noone else, just us.

:edit: oh yeah, and the groom.

honey, back in your seat.

i think we both know there is nothing in my near future

laneybug · Post by **laneybug** » Thu May 17, 2007 7:28 pm

NotToday;614772 wrote: honey, back in your seat.

i think we both know there is nothing in my near future

You never know. I met my fiance at work of all places.... and I have this personal policy of not getting involved with coworkers, although we work on different units. When I started working there I had no intention of getting involved with anyone, in or outside of work. Love tends to sneak up on you when you're least expecting it.

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Fri May 18, 2007 1:17 am

so do stalkers:sneaky:

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Fri May 18, 2007 1:27 am

I got married on May 8th too!

When I met my hubby I had got used to the idea of getting married in a registry office because all the men I met at that time were older and divorced so I thought I wouldn't be able to marry in church. Hubby was a widower so we could marry in church which was important to me.

I didn't want a big frothy dress but I did want a proper one so I had cream satin off the shoulder jobbie, no veil I had flowers in my hair. My 2 step-daughters were bridesmaids and my nephew was a page boy.

We didn't spend loads of money, we used friend's cars and had a fairly small reception and evening party and honeymooned in Scotland.

I have absolutely no regrets apart from not knowing much about flowers then and now (as a florist) I do and would have very different ones but that's all.

I hope that you will be as happy as I am and that you have a wonderful day.

beautyful · Post by **beautyful** » Fri May 18, 2007 2:39 am

Sad i know but i want the whole deal: church wedding(my family are quite religious and i have been going to church since i was a baby), big white dress, flowers, bridesmaids....the list could go on!

everyone is right though, its such a personal day that you have to be completely happy with what you're doing (as do the groom) and enjoy it! thats the most important thing, just to enjoy yourself, it goes so quickly (i've been told!) My sister in law got herself so stressed about the day that she spent most of it lying down with a migraine and she was so adamant that she was gonna look skinny (she is slim anyway) that she squeezed herself into a size 6 dress so spent the reception feeling uncomfortable...i mean sure she had a great day but it was a shame she felt so ill

anyway, congrats Laney!! good luck with the planning and don't let anyone tell you what to do, it has to be your choice

crazygal · Post by **crazygal** » Fri May 18, 2007 2:41 am

Not traditional for me, how can it be with two kids already. lol I'd be quite happy with Gretna Green. Was talking about it the other day with my babies dad and he wants a big wedding. We aren't getting married and not got the money anyway so would have to be a Gretna jobby.

beautyful · Post by **beautyful** » Fri May 18, 2007 2:42 am

crazygal;615760 wrote: Not traditional for me, how can it be with two kids already. lol I'd be quite happy with Gretna Green. Was talking about it the other day with my babies dad and he wants a big wedding. We aren't getting married and not got the money anyway so would have to be a Gretna jobby.

What matters is who you share it with not where you hold it

crazygal · Post by **crazygal** » Fri May 18, 2007 4:01 am

Yes very true. I have nothing against big weddings but when people spend thousands on a wedding, I think the majority do it to be flash. It's only one day and really you are paying for everyone else to have a good time when you could spend the money on other things.

I say that as friends I had saved Â£15,000 for their wedding and ended up living with her parents. They could have spent that on a deposit for a house. They are now divorced!

shazza4kids · Post by **shazza4kids** » Fri May 18, 2007 8:45 am

Have been married twice. The first was a big church all singing all dancing with loads of guests I did not know. (Ended in divorce and except for two wonderful children not great). My second was a small civil wedding in beautiful grounds with just close friends and family,my daughter as bridesmaid and my son gave me away and its was perfect just like my marriage. The type of wedding is errelevant its who you are marrying that is important

laneybug · Post by **laneybug** » Fri May 18, 2007 2:31 pm

Imladris;615737 wrote: I got married on May 8th too!

When I met my hubby I had got used to the idea of getting married in a registry office because all the men I met at that time were older and divorced so I thought I wouldn't be able to marry in church. Hubby was a widower so we could marry in church which was important to me.

I didn't want a big frothy dress but I did want a proper one so I had cream satin off the shoulder jobbie, no veil I had flowers in my hair. My 2 step-daughters were bridesmaids and my nephew was a page boy.

We didn't spend loads of money, we used friend's cars and had a fairly small reception and evening party and honeymooned in Scotland.

I have absolutely no regrets apart from not knowing much about flowers then and now (as a florist) I do and would have very different ones but that's all.

I hope that you will be as happy as I am and that you have a wonderful day.

Thank you for the wonderful wishes... and your wedding sounds lovely. I'd absolutely love to honeymoon in Scotland! How beautiful! As I'm in the US and have no money for such travel (I wish, though.) I really would like to spend a few nights in a cute little bed & breakfast by the coast. I love B&Bs.

laneybug · Post by **laneybug** » Fri May 18, 2007 2:34 pm

beautyful;615757 wrote: Sad i know but i want the whole deal: church wedding(my family are quite religious and i have been going to church since i was a baby), big white dress, flowers, bridesmaids....the list could go on!

everyone is right though, its such a personal day that you have to be completely happy with what you're doing (as do the groom) and enjoy it! thats the most important thing, just to enjoy yourself, it goes so quickly (i've been told!) My sister in law got herself so stressed about the day that she spent most of it lying down with a migraine and she was so adamant that she was gonna look skinny (she is slim anyway) that she squeezed herself into a size 6 dress so spent the reception feeling uncomfortable...i mean sure she had a great day but it was a shame she felt so ill

anyway, congrats Laney!! good luck with the planning and don't let anyone tell you what to do, it has to be your choice

It's not sad that you want the whole deal, like you said. If that's what you want, then that's what you should have!!

As for us, we won't be wedding in a church. I'm not Christian and I'm not religious. I'm a spiritual person who believes in a higher power, but not in the Christian sense. My sister got married in a church and it was so beautiful, but not for me. We want it outside.

Anyway, thank you very much!