Were you the bully, or were you bullied??

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 10:54 am

Well i had learning disabilities. back then in the 60's my mother was told i was RETARTED. and needed to be institutionalize. Which was devastating for my parents. This was from a very strict, cruel Catholic school. once i was in public schools it was a lot better. But i was always teased. For my weight. Years after i graduated. I learned I had ADD. I was NOT STUPID and USELESS like the nuns had said. So the way a child is treated by teachers and peers can shape their lives. I raised my child NEVER to pre judge anyone. And to never make fun of their differences. If you were the bully. Would please inform me why? Also if you were bullied. Please share your story.

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 10:58 am

Was never a bully but was bullied in 7th grade by a couple of girls whom years later I saw at a reunion. They said they were sorry about what they did. I took their apologies but to this day I still don't acknowledge them. I've taught my kids to not be bullies but to also not take their crap because bullies are people who are vulnerable themselves and it makes them feel good giving others a hard time.

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 11:57 am

When I was a kid the most popular girl in school befriended me and I was over the moon.

I soon saw how horrid she was, she bullied a girl terrible and I have to admit to standing by for a while, I suppose because it made me feel special to be in "Her gang"

One day I stood up to her for the way she was and I got a biff in the eye for my trouble.

It was a very lonely time for me, her and her friends teased me and the other kids treated me like a pariah.

The girl that she bullied must have felt sorry for me because we soon became firm friends and have been ever since.

Lesson learned.

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 12:02 pm

My daughter is in a Catholic school but I'm proud of her and her buds who stand up to the "popular crowd" who are not very nice to her & her friends. C finally told them "I really don't care what you think of me & my friends think, cuz you all stink".:wah:

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 12:52 pm

I tan very easily even on low voltage. I used to get bullied at school but it only lasted a short time.

My father said better to be a good runner up than a coward.

My humble opinion of why people Bully is it's not the victem that's inadequent, it's the bully. Somewhere in them, it's them that feel worthless. They do it as a guilt reversal type thing.

Bullie's need to be pitied. They are the one's with the problems of worthlessness.

Otherwise, a kick in the bollocks helps alot.

shelbell · Post by **shelbell** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 12:58 pm

I was both. I was such a tomboy that I would bully a few kids, not much and not often(this was in grade school). And, since I was such a tomboy, I would get bullied. I got bullied a lot in Jr. High, then decided I wasn't going to take crap from no one, but I didn't bully anyone, so high school went a lot better.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 1:03 pm

look at how many school shootings there has been in the last 15 years. The number of children who commits these horrible crime. Have stated they were bullied. It is no excuse to shoot up a school and it;s students. But what happen to these children to push them over the edge??. Before someone who was severally bullied. Killed themselves. Now they kill themselves and others.

mrsK · Post by **mrsK** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 1:10 pm

oscar;1020160 wrote: I tan very easily even on low voltage. I used to get bullied at school but it only lasted a short time.

My father said better to be a good runner up than a coward.

My humble opinion of why people Bully is it's not the victem that's inadequent, it's the bully. Somewhere in them, it's them that feel worthless. They do it as a guilt reversal type thing

Bullie's need to be pitied. They are the one's with the problems of worthlessness.

Otherwise, a kick in the bollocks helps alot.

I have to agree with your statement,it is very close to the mark.

I am sorry you where bullied at school & for everyone else who was bullied.

We have a little bully in our class & are trying to stop him,very hard work atm.:-6

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 1:22 pm

i had to reach the age of 45 before i was bullied ( icalled it terrorised) its the most terrible feeling ever, i dont know how anyone can ever forgive it:(:mad:

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 1:49 pm

I was never a bully or bullied anyone. I did several times stand up for the ones getting bullied. Never like that much. I was lucky I had 2 sisters in very close age to me so we hung out together with other friends. We actually defended kids from the bully.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 2:03 pm

mrsK;1020170 wrote: I have to agree with your statement,it is very close to the mark.

I am sorry you where bullied at school & for everyone else who was bullied.

We have a little bully in our class & are trying to stop him,very hard work atm.:-6

I actually have an issue that when problem kids like this are flagged up, the first thing the authorities do, is reach for the Ritilin instead of getting to the root cause.

No-body seems to have the time in schools today to do this.

If kids are left to get away with it, i think they go on to bully in adult life. They end up sad individuals.

I know when there has been problem kids in my husbands school, if the kids get a one on one, it often emerges that they have a sense of insecurity.

For anyone who has been mercilessly bullied, it does scar for life. They think "Why Me?"

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 2:04 pm

kazalala;1020183 wrote: i had to reach the age of 45 before i was bullied ( icalled it terrorised) its the most terrible feeling ever, i dont know how anyone can ever forgive it:(:mad: just think how a small child feel:(:mad:s

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 2:40 pm

I was never bullied until 3 yeas ago by a woman at work, ended up with a nervous breakdown.

That year was devasting for me, even my employer could not stop her, and she still works there because she is good at her job!

If I hadn't of been in such bad shape, I should have sued the ass of her/company for my employer knew of everything she had done to me, also my Head Office knew as we had several meetings about it.

I haven't and never will, bully anyone.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 6:26 pm

Odie;1020247 wrote: I was never bullied until 3 yeas ago by a woman at work, ended up with a nervous breakdown.

That year was devasting for me, even my employer could not stop her, and she still works there because she is good at her job!

If I hadn't of been in such bad shape, I should have sued the ass of her/company for my employer knew of everything she had done to me, also my Head Office knew as we had several meetings about it.

I haven't and never will, bully anyone. that's horrible!! i had a boss like that. She told me i was not a good teacher. (daycare) and i really should not be working with children. well after 5 years of this abuse i left. Went to another day care and 2 out of 10 years. i was employee of the year. I wanted to shove my plaque down that B----'-Throat. And tell her that she was sooo wrong about me. But i never did. She was a miserable person who was in a loveless marriage. I still wish i would have 10 years later. But lowering myself to her behavor. is not my style. and never will be.

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 6:37 pm

JAB;1020655 wrote: I wouldn't say I was bullied but I was picked on because I was 'different'. I was Polish, my mom used to make my clothes, I was average-looking and I studied vs. partied all the time. It took a lot of years before I embraced my differences and realized how much I prefered being unique vs. 'just like everyone else'.

That is the main difference between my two daughters. One is a rah-rah and the other one could care less.

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 6:40 pm

Forgot to mention the oldest one is popular and is always up C's butt about "her weird friends" whom I have come to adore and I also love L's friends too.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 6:41 pm

qsducks;1020657 wrote: That is the main difference between my two daughters. One is a rah-rah and the other one could care less. i haven't heard RAH RAH since high school!!:) well not me i was the BAD ONE, the burn out,

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 6:43 pm

qsducks;1020660 wrote: Forgot to mention the oldest one is popular and is always up C's butt about "her weird friends" whom I have come to adore and I also love L's friends too. they are like day and night:wah:

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 6:44 pm

southern yankee;1020666 wrote: they are like day and night:wah:

Nothing whatsoever in common. 4 yrs apart, except they are both slobs.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 7:00 pm

qsducks;1020668 wrote: Nothing whatsoever in common. 4 yrs apart, except they are both slobs. 4 years is a big difference in pre-teens and teenagers.

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 7:02 pm

southern yankee;1020710 wrote: 4 years is a big difference in pre-teens and teenagers.

I had a miscarriage in between them and it took forever to get pg with #2, but I'm glad she's here in my life.:-4

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 7:05 pm

qsducks;1020715 wrote: I had a miscarriage in between them and it took forever to get pg with #2, but I'm glad she's here in my life.:-4 yes, i am sure you are:)

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 7:06 pm

southern yankee;1020717 wrote: yes, i am sure you are:)

I just wasn't bargaining for a fiery red head:wah:

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 7:13 pm

southern yankee;1020646 wrote: that's horrible!! i had a boss like that. She told me i was not a good teacher. (daycare) and i really should not be working with children. well after 5 years of this abuse i left. Went to another day care and 2 out of 10 years. i was employee of the year. I wanted to shove my plaque down that B----'-Throat. And tell her that she was sooo wrong about me. But i never did. She was a miserable person who was in a loveless marriage. I still wish i would have 10 years later. But lowering myself to her behavor. is not my style. and never will be.

She was a witch from beyond, she hated any other female working there, a previous girl had also left. She did everything imaginable to me and then some.... to this day I seek revenge on her for destroying my life.

and she was smart.......she would never say anything or do anything while the boss was around us....but how I managed to win his trust and faith with her, he knew everything she did to me and warned her, that's enough! -but that would just make her madder at me and she would then start all different kinds of things.

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 7:15 pm

southern yankee;1020073 wrote: Well i had learning disabilities. back then in the 60's my mother was told i was RETARTED. and needed to be institutionalize. Which was devastating for my parents. This was from a very strict, cruel Catholic school. once i was in public schools it was a lot better. But i was always teased. For my weight. Years after i graduated. I learned I had ADD. I was NOT STUPID and USELESS like the nuns had said. So the way a child is treated by teachers and peers can shape their lives. I raised my child NEVER to pre judge anyone. And to never make fun of their differences. If you were the bully. Would please inform me why? Also if you were bullied. Please share your story.

my god, to put you in that kind of category!

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 7:15 pm

Who knows, maybe she was screwing the boss.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 7:16 pm

Odie;1020723 wrote: She was a witch from beyond, she hated any other female working there, a previous girl had also left. She did everything imaginable to me and then some.... to this day I seek revenge on her for destroying my life.

and she was smart.......she would never say anything or do anything while the boss was around us....but how I managed to win his trust and faith with her, he knew everything she did to me and warned her, that's enough! -but that would just make her madder at me and she would then start all different kinds of things. sounds like a real sicko:mad: but you know what goes around comes around. she'll get hers . sooner or later:sneaky:

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 7:21 pm

qsducks;1020726 wrote: Who knows, maybe she was screwing the boss.

god no, he despised her, he had no control over her whatsoever....he was a suck!

but she was screwing a married man in the office, that alone made her as miserable as sin.........because she could not have him.

her moods were devasting!

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 7:22 pm

southern yankee;1020727 wrote: sounds like a real sicko:mad: but you know what goes around comes around. she'll get hers . sooner or later:sneaky:

I don't believe in that saying, unless I do something to her?:-5

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 7:22 pm

I was picked on throughout my school life. It finally got better when I slugged a girl who was beating me over the head with a textbook. We're now friends.

It taught me to stick up for the underdog which I have always done, even if I don't like that person. This confuses people. They don't understand what it's like to be in that sector.

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 7:23 pm

Odie;1020735 wrote: god no, he despised her, he had no control over her whatsoever....he was a suck!

but she was screwing a married man in the office, that alone made her as miserable as sin.........because she could not have him.

her moods were devasting!

Christmas, a moody psychopath. Did your boss ever fire her?

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 7:23 pm

RedGlitter;1020738 wrote: I was picked on throughout my school life. It finally got better when I slugged a girl who was beating me over the head with a textbook. We're now friends.

It taught me to stick up for the underdog which I have always done, even if I don't like that person. This confuses people. They don't understand what it's like to be in that sector.

good for you, nice to have balls!

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 7:27 pm

Odie;1020741 wrote: good for you, nice to have balls!

My son was picked on for awhile by some brat at school and so this year, the kid wouldn't let him into the closet to get his book bag and the pushing and shoving started. Well, son clocked him twice and they both got suspended for the day, but in the end we were proud that he finally showed that kid who was boss. Kid has stayed away from him ever since.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 7:28 pm

Odie;1020725 wrote: my god, to put you in that kind of category! i have dealt with self esteem issues all my life. because of cruel nuns and peers. being bullied. can destroy someone.

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 7:30 pm

southern yankee;1020746 wrote: i have dealt with self esteem issues all my life. because of cruel nuns and peers. being bullied. can destroy someone.

There is a nun up at kids school who can be very mean, but the other day, some parents complained. She has since backed off.

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 7:32 pm

southern yankee;1020746 wrote: i have dealt with self esteem issues all my life. because of cruel nuns and peers. being bullied. can destroy someone.

I have also dealt with self esteem issues, it can literally kill you!

wish I had the balls to tell them off!

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 7:32 pm

qsducks;1020745 wrote: My son was picked on for awhile by some brat at school and so this year, the kid wouldn't let him into the closet to get his book bag and the pushing and shoving started. Well, son clocked him twice and they both got suspended for the day, but in the end we were proud that he finally showed that kid who was boss. Kid has stayed away from him ever since.

good for him, its always tough when you have to physically fight someone!

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 7:35 pm

Odie;1020753 wrote: good for him, its always tough when you have to physically fight someone!

My son is 5'6" and the brat is about 5'0, and he did have some self esteem issues, but we took care of that with a visit to a therapist and now he's a force to be reckoned with.:wah:, but does not start fights. Not is nature.

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 7:36 pm

qsducks;1020755 wrote: My son is 5'6" and the brat is about 5'0, and he did have some self esteem issues, but we took care of that with a visit to a therapist and now he's a force to be reckoned with.:wah:, but does not start fights. Not is nature.

good, not good to start fights.

self esteem issues can be so trying on kids!

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 7:39 pm

Odie;1020757 wrote: good, not good to start fights.

self esteem issues can be so trying on kids!

His school was alot of help and they have a therapist there to talk to kids. The woman told me she probs sees about 3/4 of the kids at school. Says alot.

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 7:41 pm

qsducks;1020759 wrote: His school was alot of help and they have a therapist there to talk to kids. The woman told me she probs sees about 3/4 of the kids at school. Says alot.

doesn't sound shocking to me, unless your drop dead gorjous.....................

such a shame kids must pick on others, actually someone needs to give them a dam good kicking!

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 7:42 pm

qsducks;1020750 wrote: There is a nun up at kids school who can be very mean, but the other day, some parents complained. She has since backed off. i am glad things are like that now. what the nuns would tell us. if we told our parents it would be a lot worse for us. What away to teach:-5

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 7:43 pm

southern yankee;1020767 wrote: i am glad things are like that now. what the nuns would tell us. if we told our parents it would be a lot worse for us. What away to teach:-5

nuns are well known for their nastyness, you know what I think they need!:sneaky:

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 8:01 pm

Odie;1020768 wrote: nuns are well known for their nastyness, you know what I think they need!:sneaky: It was one of the many reasons i gave up the catholic faith. How could someone who is supposed to be so close to God. Be so cruel. to Children:( but there were many other reasons

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 8:04 pm

over the years I have heard tons of things with these so called nuns and their doings!

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 8:08 pm

Odie;1020785 wrote: over the years I have heard tons of things with these so called nuns and their doings! sadly i am sure most of it is true:(

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 8:29 pm

I still 3 years later wonder why they kept the witch that bullied me, does being good at your job more important than your employees health...........guess so, it was proven!

Milly · Post by **Milly** » Wed Oct 15, 2008 12:44 am

I was bullied at school.... a late developer, looked like a boy, skinny, geeky, plain Jane..... I didn't go through puberty to I left school and just kind of blossomed LOL... I recall seeing some that bullied me on a night out not long after my 'transition' and them all wanting to bloody know me then!!!!!....... Sadly.... I didn't want to know them... it felt soooooooooooooooooo good tossing my hair and walking away.... knowing that just for that one day, it was actually them watching me walk away thinking...'Bitch'! :wah: