How do you want to be remembered, or for what?

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Tue Oct 21, 2008 9:09 pm

Sorry folks, i have banged on a little this week about my Husbands advanced cancer and surgery.

We can not get the all clear as his type of cancer has an alarming 70% risk of returning.

His monthly tests at Oncology have been stepped up to three weekly and hubby's health is going down rapidly,

Obviousley, we have had to discuss what happens when the worst comes.

The one thing we chat alot about, is looking back on our lives and wondering how others would remember us should the worst come to the worst.

How would you like to be remembered?

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Tue Oct 21, 2008 10:41 pm

Oscar

So, Sorry - My husband has only been clear for @ 8 months.

Do I trust that - NO - I watch & take care of him, alot of bad days..?

How will my Husband be remembered : - no doubt with alot of friends for his wit, and knowledge of useless information...:wah:

I will be remembered for my Laugh - wit - and my legs...

Patsy

mrsK · Post by **mrsK** » Tue Oct 21, 2008 11:42 pm

I want to be remembered as being a fighter .

Sorry for going off topic

But this is for you Oscar & Patsy & for your husbands.

Also for anyone else who is fighting the big fight.

My daughter gave this to me & I am passing it on.

I have passed this on to a lot of friends.

Don't Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.

When care is pressing you down a bit.

Rest if you must, But don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learn,

And many a person turns about,

When they might have won, had they stuck it out.

Don't give up though the pace seems slow.

You may succeed with another blow.

Often strugglers have given up

When you might have captured the victor's cup,

And you learned too late when the night came down,

How close you was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out,

The silver tint of the cloud of doubt.

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,

It's when things seem worst that you

Mustn't Quit!

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed Oct 22, 2008 12:00 am

mrsK;1030340 wrote: I want to be remembered as being a fighter .

Sorry for going off topic

But this is for you Oscar & Patsy & for your husbands.

Also for anyone else who is fighting the big fight.

My daughter gave this to me & I am passing it on.

I have passed this on to a lot of friends.

Don't Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.

When care is pressing you down a bit.

Rest if you must, But don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learn,

And many a person turns about,

When they might have won, had they stuck it out.

Don't give up though the pace seems slow.

You may succeed with another blow.

Often strugglers have given up

When you might have captured the victor's cup,

And you learned too late when the night came down,

How close you was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out,

The silver tint of the cloud of doubt.

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,

It's when things seem worst that you

Mustn't Quit!

Thankyou....That's absolutely lovely. I will show it to hubby. :-6:-6:-6

hoppy · Post by **hoppy** » Wed Oct 22, 2008 4:53 am

Sorry to hear about your husband. I shouldn't have went off about things in your fox thread. I know how you must be feeling. My X wife is fighting cancer too. So many people I know are. Stay strong.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed Oct 22, 2008 6:22 am

hoppy;1030501 wrote: Sorry to hear about your husband. I shouldn't have went off about things in your fox thread. I know how you must be feeling. My X wife is fighting cancer too. So many people I know are. Stay strong.

Hey, Hoppy, don't apologise, i wasn't looking for sympathy. I put threads on to get folk's views. We all have to speak our minds or there's no point of a forum

I repect your views and i never take offence from anyone who dis-agree's with me.

I put a couple of threads on last night about hubby, as, quite unlike me, i got quite down about it. I'm usually the chirpy one in the house but we all have our moments. I had some lovely replys and some pm's as well which was very touching.

I find FG an outlet to talk about all sorts but when any of us expresses a view, we don't know the person and what their private life is about.

I'm putting a thread on the problems catogory as hubby is telling me what do with his things etc and i'm finding that hard.

I think as his bloods have come back abnormal, he's resigned himself to the fact it's come back although the surgeon did warn he would not be able to get that level out.

I'm sorry about your wife. My dad died from lung cancer and my lovely sister to breast cancer at the age of 50. I am just sick of the bloody thing. You don't see these murderer's get it do you?? It's only the good people.

I am also racked with guilt as something that happened to me over the past year caused hubby a great deal of worry and i can't help but think i brought it back.

It's one of the reason's i joke so much on this forum, It's a way of taking your mind off things. I joke about hubby's faults as well.

I have wonderful family but i flit around the country in my job and don't see them as much as i'd like.

I have a special brother who is only one year older than me.

I rang him last night and said i was depressed and he is driving a round trip of 500 miles tonight to take me out, then driving straight home. If you got some-one like that, it helps. And my buddie's on FG i have to add.

Hell, Hoppy, if you hate foxes, you say so, i never take offence at anything.

As well, i'll just round the pack that lives in my field up and re-locate them down your house :wah::wah:

Thanks for your nice words.

Just to say a huge thank you to the dedicated Consultant Surgeon 'David Gillette'

Of Southmead Hospital, Bristol, England :-6:-6:-6:-6:-6

el guapo · Post by **el guapo** » Wed Oct 22, 2008 6:24 am

dont know what to say ....give him our best wishes

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Wed Oct 22, 2008 6:32 am

I would like people,,(well my family and friends) to remember me with a smile:) to be reminded sometimes out of the blue about me by something they see or hear. Funny things that i did or liked,, you know to suddenly think oh kaz would have loved that,, or found that funny,,

My Nana used to love Ginger and i always used to try get her a lovely jar of chocolate covered Ginger at christmas,, was a pain trying to find it,,, then when she died it seemed to be all over the place!:wah: also not long before she died she had just bought a new chair and carpet,, I couldnt stop imagining her saying well that was a bloody waste of money wasnt it!:wah: sometimes its the little things that count;)

All my love and thoughts to you and your hubby Oscar:-4

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed Oct 22, 2008 6:54 am

el guapo;1030596 wrote: dont know what to say ....give him our best wishes

Thanks for that. The thing with cancer is that it's so common now in all ages. In oncology appointments, we see all sorts, even little kids.

No-one is immune from it... it can strike any-one at any time of their life.

Any men out there approaching 40 yrs old..... Please insist to your G.P. for a PSA test, it can save alot of grief in the long run.

Gordon Brown will still win the election :p:p:p:p:p

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Wed Oct 22, 2008 6:59 am

Oscar I hope your Husband get the green light soon. Also good advice for all men and women to have their yearly Cancer screenings done always early detection will save lives.

As far as being remembered not really important to me, never has been. I live my life the best I can now if people want to remember me OK. Of course family will always remember you, we have the most impact on their lives.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed Oct 22, 2008 7:12 am

CARLA;1030651 wrote: Oscar I hope your Husband get the green light soon. Also good advice for all men and women to have their yearly Cancer screenings done always early detection will save lives.

As far as being remembered not really important to me, never has been. I live my life the best I can now if people want to remember me OK. Of course family will always remember you, we have the most impact on their lives.

Thanks Carla, that's lovely.

We have had much tragedy in the family, even this time last year my brother's baby girl died. The trouble with me, is i'm always the strong one and the one who chivvie's everyone else along. When it happens to me, every-one thinks i'm so strong that i'm o.k. More often than not.... I'm not O.K. And often too proud to admit that i'm not O.K. My brother is very good, he call tell just by my tone of voice.

I'll be fine when i get out tonight and eat those lovely scallops in that resturant.

I don't like talking about it incase people think i'm after sympathy...... stupid really. I can't win some-times. Then i get annoyed with hubby and accuse him of being morbid. :-5

Milly · Post by **Milly** » Wed Oct 22, 2008 9:51 am

Oscar - I'm so very sorry to hear about your husband..... your character is so like that of my pwn, always seemingly strong, but insode sometimes screaming for a little help.... I'm so glad your brother recognises this in you.... now you just accpet that help Mrs!... do ya hear me!

x

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Wed Oct 22, 2008 9:55 am

I won't have to be remembered, I want to take them all with me.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed Oct 22, 2008 12:51 pm

Milly;1030826 wrote: Oscar - I'm so very sorry to hear about your husband..... your character is so like that of my pwn, always seemingly strong, but insode sometimes screaming for a little help.... I'm so glad your brother recognises this in you.... now you just accpet that help Mrs!... do ya hear me!

x

I'll accept them free scallops no problem :wah:

I have a good brother, i'm lucky although i'd never tell him. He employs me, that's bad enough to live down.

Thanks Chezz :-6

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Wed Oct 22, 2008 1:04 pm

loads of hugs.

to the point of how I want to be remembered - I think it would be nice to be remembered at all, preferably with a smile not a frown.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Wed Oct 22, 2008 1:11 pm

I would want to be remembered as a good mother, a good teacher, and leave something useful behind me in what I write.

I shall pray for Mr. Oscar, that he will be well and you both will not have to worry anymore about his cancer.

Milly · Post by **Milly** » Wed Oct 22, 2008 1:12 pm

oscar;1031077 wrote: I'll accept them free scallops no problem :wah:

I have a good brother, i'm lucky although i'd never tell him. He employs me, that's bad enough to live down.

Thanks Chezz :-6

LOL... you're the second person to have likened me to Chezz and I take that as a great compliment... but I'd like to be remembered for just being me please :wah:

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed Oct 22, 2008 2:22 pm

fuzzy butt;1031098 wrote: Others will remember me how they want to remember me, I can't change that . but something I've often thought about as one last memory of me is as follows:

I want to get on a plane incognito and travel around Australia and either spray paint or hang a banner on all our major tourist attractions .......MEGAN WAS ERE"

:wah::wah::wah::wah:

Hang on

I still do that and i'm an adult :wah:

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Wed Oct 22, 2008 11:01 pm

"Patsy was here - 1999" on the Eifel Tower....

Oscar, you can only be so strong but, when the bulls eye is on you..?

Sure turns your life upside down.

Nothing you've ever expected to deal with is in your lap, and what some don't realise it's a everyday up & down teeter totter..

I wish you both the best

You know we can talk anytime - please, don't hesitate to vent - as it's therapy for me also.

Aloha

Patsy

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 2:39 am

Patsy Warnick;1031697 wrote: "Patsy was here - 1999" on the Eifel Tower....

Oscar, you can only be so strong but, when the bulls eye is on you..?

Sure turns your life upside down.

Nothing you've ever expected to deal with is in your lap, and what some don't realise it's a everyday up & down teeter totter..

I wish you both the best

You know we can talk anytime - please, don't hesitate to vent - as it's therapy for me also.

Aloha

Patsy

Thanks Patsy, you've been very kind.

As soon as i've got rid of my builders next week, my sister's young lad is coming to stay for a week. Hubby is teaching him Barbel angling so he'll have a whale of a time. That's where he's most happiest.

I'd like to be remembered for the music i loved, and always trying to find a funny some-where.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 3:23 am

How do you want to be remembered, or for what?

Yup, story of my life.

Person 1: Do you remember ol' ACC?

Person 2: For what?

:yh_sigh

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 3:43 am

Id like to be remembered as:

a brilliant physicist

for winning a gold medal in every sport known to man

for passing out lollipops while circumnavigating the globe on my unicycle

as a monkey lover

a Guiness record holder for having collected the largest ball of belly button lint in the world

I may never do any of these things but I damned sure want people to say I did at my funeral

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 3:47 am

Accountable;1031765 wrote: How do you want to be remembered, or for what?

Yup, story of my life.

Person 1: Do you remember ol' ACC?

Person 2: For what?

:yh_sigh

Sorry, WHO?????? :wah::wah::wah:

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 3:54 am

Nomad;1031771 wrote: Id like to be remembered as:

a brilliant physicist

for winning a gold medal in every sport known to man

for passing out lollipops while circumnavigating the globe on my unicycle

as a monkey lover

a Guiness record holder for having collected the largest ball of belly button lint in the world

I may never do any of these things but I damned sure want people to say I did at my funeral
I say go for the lint. :yh_glasse

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 3:59 am

Accountable;1031786 wrote: I say go for the lint. :yh_glasse

Another belly button lint fan. Nice !

el guapo · Post by **el guapo** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 4:04 am

oscar;1030647 wrote: Thanks for that. The thing with cancer is that it's so common now in all ages. In oncology appointments, we see all sorts, even little kids.

No-one is immune from it... it can strike any-one at any time of their life.

Any men out there approaching 40 yrs old..... Please insist to your G.P. for a PSA test, it can save alot of grief in the long run.

Gordon Brown will still win the election :p:p:p:p:p

in ya dreams

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 6:09 am

oscar;1030249 wrote: Sorry folks, i have banged on a little this week about my Husbands advanced cancer and surgery.

We can not get the all clear as his type of cancer has an alarming 70% risk of returning.

His monthly tests at Oncology have been stepped up to three weekly and hubby's health is going down rapidly,

Obviousley, we have had to discuss what happens when the worst comes.

The one thing we chat alot about, is looking back on our lives and wondering how others would remember us should the worst come to the worst.

How would you like to be remembered?

Firstly I am so sorry to hear about the tough time that you and your husband are going through.....big hugs to you both. My family has been affected by cancer and it's a hard thing to deal with. My lovely daughter in law has just heard that her grand dad has cancer of the spine and has been moved to East Grinstead......she's so upset and it's her little boys 3rd birthday today....I guess this just goes to show that life is like a roundabout...you get on and off and then someone new gets on in your place......I have 8 grandchildren getting on the roundabout !!!! Hope there's enough room !!!

Anyway back to your question...how would I like to be remembered ?

I don't think there's anything specific really....just to be remembered 'fondly'.....to be remembered in a positive way for fun, fairness, love and laughter..... I haven't been a perfect friend, daughter, wife (ex) and mum but I did (am doing) my best. :-4

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 6:11 am

Accountable;1031765 wrote: How do you want to be remembered, or for what?

Yup, story of my life.

Person 1: Do you remember ol' ACC?

Person 2: For what?

:yh_sigh

Remember that book you were going to write ? never too late ! :-4