racist jokes no more

el guapo · Post by **el guapo** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 6:26 am

ya hear about the jimbo who went shoplifting

he hurt his back try to lify up tesco's

el guapo · Post by **el guapo** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 6:31 am

jimbo;1047623 wrote: thats a cracker

no it a supermarket

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 6:42 am

well every ethnic group takes hits. I am Polish. i have heard my share. But we need to learn to LIGHTEN UP. To laugh at ourselves. Everyone has become so "THIN SKINNED"

Post by **Peter Lake** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 7:09 am

Now what would be a really good joke for me, would be to see my wife, the English woman, gmc, the Scotsman and galbally, the Irishman, all in the same room.

el guapo · Post by **el guapo** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 7:40 am

Peter Lake;1047690 wrote: Now what would be a really good joke for me, would be to see my wife, the English woman, gmc, the Scotsman and galbally, the Irishman, all in the same room.

and

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 7:47 am

Text message that is sweeping across America.

All white people must report to the cotton fields on Monday morning..:wah:

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 12:00 pm

Jimbo, upset at the small number of eggs that his hens are producing, decides to buy a fresh cockerel to liven things up.

At the animal market, he finds just one excited cockerel on sale. "I'll take him," Jimbo tells its owner.

"OK," the owner replies. "But I must warn you. He's obsessed by sex."

"Perfect," replies Jimbo. "That's just what I need."

Back at the farm, the cockerel runs straight into the hen house and has sex with every hen until they are all exhausted.

Undaunted, the cockerel then jumps into the pond and boffs all the ducks. Immediately afterwards, he does the same with the geese.

This continues for three days until the farm has been devastated. Furious, Jimbo approaches the cockerel, but is taken aback to see him flat out in the yard, with buzzards circling overhead.

"Knackered, huh? Serves you right, you filthy little git," says Jimbo.

"Shhhhhh," whispers the cockerel.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 12:22 pm

YZGI;1047762 wrote: Text message that is sweeping across America. i got that one

All white people must report to the cotton fields on Monday morning..:wah: i got that one and another about the statue of liberty. Also White castle.:-3

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 12:32 pm

Jimbo1 was seen trying to shin up a huge flagpole, and having little success.

'What's the problem?' asked Jimbo2.

'The boss wants me to measure this pole,' said Jimbo1.

'Well, to save yourself the effort why don't you lay the pole down?'Jimbo2 said.

'No good,' reasoned Jimbo1. 'He wants the height not the length.'

Tombstone · Post by **Tombstone** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 2:13 pm

jimbo;1047614 wrote: its almost impossible to post a joke now without some twisted do-gooder flying the your a racist flag on the behalf of the totally not offended person that the joke was made about thus causing racial tention between every one

so what i thought instead of posting the irish/polish /chinese or other jokes what we need is some one so stupid that will not take offence to anything said about them , i have looked high and low for such a stupid idiot but to no avail then just as i had given up hope of finding this subnormal specimen of humanity ,it had been staring me in the face all along ...... jimbo ..... yes guys i will take some flak for the team now just post your jokes here

:)

whats brown and crispy and hangs from the ceiling ........ a jimbo electrician:wah::wah:

So...did you hear the one about the 30 Chinamen and a Zeppelin?

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 2:22 pm

Jimbo, Are you really that bald or is your neck just blowing a bubble?

There's a bloke called Jimbo who has a bald head and a wooden leg and he gets invited to a Halloween party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain the problem.

A few days later he receives a parcel with a note.

"Dear Sir, please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted hand-kerchief will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate."

Jimbo thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives another parcel and a note, which says:

"Dear Sir, please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg, and with your bald head, you will really look the part."

Now Jimbo is really annoyed since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head and he writes the company another nasty letter of complaint. The next day he receives a small parcel and a note which reads:

"Dear Sir, please find enclosed a bottle of molasses. Pour the molasses over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your butt and go as a caramel apple!"

hoppy · Post by **hoppy** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 8:39 pm

Can we still tell watermelon jokes?

hoppy · Post by **hoppy** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 8:48 pm

southern yankee;1047648 wrote: well every ethnic group takes hits. I am Polish. i have heard my share. But we need to learn to LIGHTEN UP. To laugh at ourselves. Everyone has become so "THIN SKINNED"

You got that right about everyone suddenly becoming so damn sensitive. I'm Czech, heard all the jokes too. What do they call abortion in the CR? A cancelled Czech. When I was in high school my best friend was a polish kid named josef. We visited each others house lots. His mom was a great cook. I love Polish cooking.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Fri Nov 07, 2008 4:22 am

hoppy;1048547 wrote: You got that right about everyone suddenly becoming so damn sensitive. I'm Czech, heard all the jokes too. What do they call abortion in the CR? A cancelled Czech. When I was in high school my best friend was a polish kid named josef. We visited each others house lots. His mom was a great cook. I love Polish cooking.
thanks. I miss good polish food, Can't find it in CAJUN LAND:wah:

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Sun Nov 09, 2008 10:32 am

:wah: Jimbo, you're going to have to finish this joke.........

"So Jimbo and AFTR go into a pub.............."

hoppy · Post by **hoppy** » Sun Nov 09, 2008 11:35 am

So, what kind of puppy should obama get for his kids? I have a great answer but am afraid to post it for fear the obama protectors and huggers will flog me in public.

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Sun Nov 09, 2008 2:17 pm

hoppy;1051808 wrote: So, what kind of puppy should obama get for his kids? I have a great answer but am afraid to post it for fear the obama protectors and huggers will flog me in public.

Psst, Hoppy, pm it to me and I'll let you know if it's safe for general viewing!! :sneaky:

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Sun Nov 09, 2008 6:46 pm

hoppy;1051808 wrote: So, what kind of puppy should obama get for his kids? I have a great answer but am afraid to post it for fear the obama protectors and huggers will flog me in public.Hey Hoppy I think i know:wah::wah:

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Sun Nov 09, 2008 7:11 pm

jimbo;1047614 wrote: its almost impossible to post a joke now without some twisted do-gooder flying the your a racist flag on the behalf of the totally not offended person that the joke was made about thus causing racial tention between every one

tons of jokes out there with no racism in them.

and the ones that are, or even seem like they are, one shouldn't be posting them.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Sun Nov 09, 2008 7:22 pm

Odie;1052121 wrote: tons of jokes out there with no racism in them.

and the ones that are, or even seem like they are, one shouldn't be posting them. very true.

hoppy · Post by **hoppy** » Sun Nov 09, 2008 9:13 pm

southern yankee;1052113 wrote: Hey Hoppy I think i know:wah::wah:

If you know about American hunting dogs it ain't hard to figure out. Lol.

BTS · Post by **BTS** » Sun Nov 09, 2008 9:26 pm

YZGI;1047762 wrote: Text message that is sweeping across America.

All white people must report to the cotton fields on Monday morning..:wah:

You know what, If I knew it was gonna cause so much trouble............

I would have picked my own damned cotton...............:rolleyes:

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Sun Nov 09, 2008 9:29 pm

We celebrated Obama's victory with Fried Chicken & Watermelon.

BTS · Post by **BTS** » Sun Nov 09, 2008 10:45 pm

Why does jimbo like the doggie position?

That way they can both watch wrestling.

What does jimbo call ductape?

Chrome.

Did you hear that when jimbo passed away he left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?

She can’t touch it till she’s fourteen.

Why did jimbo want to move the Tennessee?

Everyone there has the same DNA.

How many jimbos does it take eat a ‘possum?

Two. One to eat, and one to watch for cars.

What was jimbos defense in court?

“Honest your Honor, I was just helping those sheep over the fence.”

What’s the difference between a good ol’ boy and a jimbo?

The good ol’ boy raises livestock. jimbo gets emotionally involved.

Good nite

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 11:22 am

BTS;1052181 wrote: Why does jimbo like the doggie position?

That way they can both watch wrestling.

What does jimbo call ductape?

Chrome.

Did you hear that when jimbo passed away he left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?

She can’t touch it till she’s fourteen.

Why did jimbo want to move the Tennessee?

Everyone there has the same DNA.

How many jimbos does it take eat a ‘possum?

Two. One to eat, and one to watch for cars.

What was jimbos defense in court?

“Honest your Honor, I was just helping those sheep over the fence.

What’s the difference between a good ol’ boy and a jimbo?

The good ol’ boy raises livestock. jimbo gets emotionally involved.

Good niteOOOPS i use to live in TN. :wah::wah:

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 11:41 am

I guess i am use to all the JOKES. Being a Pollock:) Tell them myself;)

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 3:53 pm

southern yankee;1052962 wrote: I guess i am use to all the JOKES. Being a Pollock:) Tell them myself;)

everyone asks me, 'are you wearing underwear'?:yh_rotfl

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 4:46 pm

Odie;1053234 wrote: everyone asks me, 'are you wearing underwear'?:yh_rotfl
Ok I feel FREE!!!!:sneaky: when i don't

:p

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 6:18 pm

southern yankee;1053267 wrote: Ok I feel FREE!!!!:sneaky: when i don't

:p

I just say no, I am not wearing any underwear! - shuts them up real quick!:wah:

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 6:30 pm

Odie;1053378 wrote: I just say no, I am not wearing any underwear! - shuts them up real quick!:wah: You mean you don;t say WANNA SEE:wah::wah: