if only u knew
if only u knew
How I wish if I was ignorant, how I wish he did not tell me u were not u, but some one else. I loved every moment of our existence together. Your voice, your laughs, your smile, the color of your unique eyes, though you say you hate them, I love them… oh I hate myself, I was too timid to look at you straight in the eye, and alter these cherished breath taking words, I love you. You were there next to me, feeding me, lifting me up, as though I was a light butterfly. You were always there staring at me, as though I was the only girl in the planet, and you always managed to color my flesh crimson red. You were there the first time I saw you, sitting next to your friends, and tagging me alone, whenever I go, as though you feared to loose me, as though I was your lucky star, you were there the second time, when I was with my little sister, you made yourself you did not know me, for fear that some one would notice, but your love shown in your eyes, for she knew alright. Oh, I wanted to hug you tightly and kiss your forehead and whisper I love you, in your ears, but I held myself, as if my life depended on that moment…then I saw you that third time, the first time, I touched the silk of your being, the smooth caresses, the sweet torture.. Days passed and I felt I was lucky to have you. I felt that you were the reason I will to exist, and look at tomorrow with passion… you were there talking to me in your phone, in our sleeps, at breakfast, at school, with your friends, every moment I was alone… and then I felt that someone stared at us with those red scary eyes, they conjured a spell on us, I discovered the truth, which broke my heart, and then you treated me as though it was my fault, that I knew every thing was a lie. How could you ignore the tears that blurred my eyes, my tears, our laughter, my kiss, my secrets, you were my biggest secret, before you I was sinless… and here I am today, I fear going to the movies, to the malls, because I remember… I remember the countless times I was with you, the moments we shared together, when I felt that I squandered all my years missing out on love, in which I heard all my friends talked about.. I hid you from the words, I was jealous, I wanted you to be mine, and you broke this heart which you named yours. How could you, wasn’t my heart the one you touched, and laid your head on, as I spoiled my fingers playing through your wavy hair. I miss you, it stings me so, and you think that I don’t love you anymore, if only you knew, if only you knew, the wounds will kill you….