Is Friendship Learned or Instinctive?

[swedeace]

I recently began wondering this burning question. I guess I am looking for answers through a sociological-interactive perspective:



Is friendship something humans learn how to handle/maintain? Or, is friendship just an innate instinctive quality we possess?



I used to think it was just instinctive, but then I came across a certain situation that leads me to believe otherwise. Before I discuss those theories, I'd like some others' opinions. Thanks to all who reply.

[ubetta]

swedeace wrote: I recently began wondering this burning question. I guess I am looking for answers through a sociological-interactive perspective:



Is friendship something humans learn how to handle/maintain? Or, is friendship just an innate instinctive quality we possess?



I used to think it was just instinctive, but then I came across a certain situation that leads me to believe otherwise. Before I discuss those theories, I'd like some others' opinions. Thanks to all who reply.


I would say it's both. Instinctively you are drawn to people and become friends. It's a learned process on how to manage and keep that friendship. Same as with 'love' and marriage.

[Lon]

swedeace wrote: I recently began wondering this burning question. I guess I am looking for answers through a sociological-interactive perspective:



Is friendship something humans learn how to handle/maintain? Or, is friendship just an innate instinctive quality we possess?



I used to think it was just instinctive, but then I came across a certain situation that leads me to believe otherwise. Before I discuss those theories, I'd like some others' opinions. Thanks to all who reply.




I would have to say that true friendship is earned rather than learned. It is earned by listening and hearing what the other person is saying. It is earned by not agreeing with anothers bad behavior. It is earned by being honest with the other person. And after all this and more, it becomes instinctive.

[swedeace]

Thank you all for your opinions!



Hmm… it’s always been a touchy area, in my opinion. For instance, I have observed those individuals who seem to be socially-adaptive seem to not care about losing friendships. And those who are not as socially-adaptive seem to really hang on or let others determine if they want to drag out a friendship. Would that be because of those socially-adaptive people have higher self-esteem than those who aren’t? I’ve had that happen with befriending someone who doesn’t have very many friends. We are both in the same boat as far as being non-socially adaptive. We don’t have a lot of experience, but I guess we are both testing waters in our friendship. We are learning how to socialize and maintain our friendship through each other.



We have both come across arguments, disagreements and conflicts and still manage to maintain contact. We have met in person but now exclusively communicate online. How would that friendship weather via online? Is it still the same as being “offline” friends?

[actionfigurestepho]

In general, friendship is natural and instinctive, but nurturing and reacting in each specific friendship is something you have to learn! Everyone is different, and part of becoming friends is getting to know their little quirks and personalities...those are things you have to learn.

[Hang Man]

from personal experience Id say its natural to the extent that we form bonds naturally to increase the odds of survival, but at the same time the politicking of modern life is a learned art. I suck at having/being friends with people.

[kmhowe72]

instinctive for me. I know I already like the person or not, even before I get to know them. I get vibe. Even via internet.

[minks]

I think it is learned, we learn about people and as we learn we see things we like or dislike and from there we base a friendship on it. Instinct maybe, but does instinct allow you to look at a person and make a good decision just on inner feelings. Gosh in my case if yes, I would like....no one ahahahahahaha