x mas eating hints (from qsducks)

el guapo · Post by **el guapo** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 9:48 am

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit.

In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare. You can't find it any other time of year but now.

So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an

eggnog-aholic of something. It's a treat....have one for me. It's later than you think. It's Christmas.

3. If something comes with gravy, eat it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone.

Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano.

4. As for mashed potatoes, alway ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass.

Why bother. It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point

of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it.......Hello!

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's Day. You can do that in

January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling

the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the

shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can

before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them

behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have

two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid

it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven'tbeen

paying attention. Re-read tips and start over. But hurry, January is just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by: "Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arrivingsafely in

an attractive and well preserved body, but rather, to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, glass of wine

(or beer) in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO what a ride!"

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 9:52 am

Thanks for posting it EG:yh_rotfl and for that nice donation too.

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 10:30 am

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

OpenMind · Post by **OpenMind** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 10:34 am

All very good tips.:wah:

Just one other tip to add.

Don't forget to belch loudly and often to maintain room in your belly by clearing out unwanted combustible gases. Smile as though you are pleased with yourself (which you should be anyway) each time you belch so people think you're showing your appreciation, and you should always show your appreciation.

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 10:37 am

OpenMind;1092279 wrote: All very good tips.:wah:

Just one other tip to add.

Don't forget to belch loudly and often to maintain room in your belly by clearing out unwanted combustible gases. Smile as though you are pleased with yourself (which you should be anyway) each time you belch so people think you're showing your appreciation, and you should always show your appreciation.

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 10:39 am

OpenMind;1092279 wrote: All very good tips.:wah:

Just one other tip to add.

Don't forget to belch loudly and often to maintain room in your belly by clearing out unwanted combustible gases. Smile as though you are pleased with yourself (which you should be anyway) each time you belch so people think you're showing your appreciation, and you should always show your appreciation.

burp!:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

OpenMind · Post by **OpenMind** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 10:47 am

Odie;1092295 wrote: burp!:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

I'm really glad you appreciated that Odie.:yh_rotfl

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 2:35 pm

:wah:

Another tip. Remember, "variety is the spice of life." Put a little bit of everything on your plate and try it.

Burp!

shelbell · Post by **shelbell** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 3:20 pm

No problem with the belching...I love to show a TON of appreciation!!!

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 3:48 pm

how do you make egg nog

laneybug · Post by **laneybug** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 7:11 pm

I love it!! :yh_rotfl

It's always upset me that eggnog can't be found any other time of the year. Or can it?? Is it hiding in the refrigerated veggie aisle somewhere? I never go there, so I wouldn't know!

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 9:37 pm

no body has told me how to make egg nog yet

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 9:52 pm

kayleneaussie;1092830 wrote: no body has told me how to make egg nog yet

I have no idea how to make it. It is gross in my opinion, but you can always google it. they only sell it around the holidays here.

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 10:04 pm

qsducks;1092844 wrote: I have no idea how to make it. It is gross in my opinion, but you can always google it. they only sell it around the holidays here.

oh ok might do that:D