Only ladies will empathize...

mrsK · Post by **mrsK** » Fri Jan 30, 2009 5:51 pm

ONLY LADIES WILL EMPATHIZE...

When you have to visit a public toilet, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the cubicle doors. Every cubicle is occupied.

Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the cubicle. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants!

The dispenser for the modern 'seat covers' (invented by someone's Mum, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your bag on the door hook, if there was one, so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mum would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!) down with your pants and assume ' The Stance.

In this position, your aging, toneless, thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but having not taken time to wipe the seat or to lay toilet paper on it, you hold 'The Stance.'

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser.

In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Dear, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!' Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your bag (the bag around your neck, that now you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do, so you crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail.

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work.

The door hits your bag, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest and you and your bag topple backward against the tank of the toilet.

'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, while losing your footing altogether and sliding down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try.

You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, 'You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl and spraying a fine mist of water that covers your bum and runs down your legs and into your shoes.

The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force and you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.

At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a sweet wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.

You can't figure out how to operate the taps with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting

You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it?)

You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used and left the men's toilet. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long and why is your bag hanging around your neck?

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with any public rest rooms/toilets (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers that other commonly asked question about why women go to the toilets in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your bag and hand you Kleenex under the door.

This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could describe it so accurately.

Send this to all women that need a good laugh.

A Friend Is Like A Good Bra...

Hard to Find

Supportive

Comfortable

Always Lifts You Up

Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging

And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Fri Jan 30, 2009 5:52 pm

omg...............ain't this the truth!:-5:-5:-5

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri Jan 30, 2009 8:07 pm

What has always baffled me about ladie's tiolets is that at some point during the start of the day, there must have been a clean seat, clean bowl, toilet tissue and a clean floor. Here, we have too much health and safety regulations and they would be shut down very quickly if they were not kept up to scratch.

I consider us ladie's to be the cleanest specimen of us humans especially as we don't go in for any of that shake and drip nonsence that men do.

So... if a public toilet starts off clean and well equiped with tissue etc, only women can get it into the stae we find it in when we have to mis-fortune to have to use it.

If i use a rest room and it is clean when i go in, i clean up after myself as i wouldn't want another woman to find my wee on the seat. So why do women do it?

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Fri Jan 30, 2009 8:21 pm

men are lucky....they just drip dry!

ewwwwwwwwwww!:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Fri Jan 30, 2009 8:23 pm

Every word true I have used the men bathroom when the women's is backed up around the building at Soccer games. I just have one of my sister block the door and I'm in and out in less than a minute. :yh_rotfl If course I make sure there are not men in it when I enter. Freaks men out when the see us coming out of their restroom. :sneaky:

scholle-kid · Post by **scholle-kid** » Fri Jan 30, 2009 11:20 pm

oscar;1122875 wrote:

I consider us ladies to be the cleanest specimen of us humans especially as we don't go in for any of that shake and drip nonsense that men do.

No offence , but, I have worked in the restaurant business ,both fast food and sit down dinning, once at a country club with them folks that think there s**t don't smell ( if you get my meaning0 and females are at times nastier then small unruly children when leaving a public rest room . I actually heard one woman tell her friend " It doesn't matter how much of a mess we make , you KNOW the men are 10 times worse"

back on topic, I totally can relate ,empathize and recognize the total scene you described in your post.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri Jan 30, 2009 11:26 pm

scholle-kid;1122937 wrote: No offence , but, I have worked in the restaurant business ,both fast food and sit down dinning, once at a country club with them folks that think there s**t don't smell ( if you get my meaning0 and females are at times nastier then small unruly children when leaving a public rest room . I actually heard one woman tell her friend " It doesn't matter how much of a mess we make , you KNOW the men are 10 times worse"

back on topic, I totally can relate ,empathize and recognize the total scene you described in your post.

Ditto. Maybe it's because it's a 'public toilet' that some women just think that some-one is hired to clean up after them?

I'm sorry ladies but i wish to progress to a far nastier problem than wee on the seat. Tampons!!! OMG there, i said it. All we have to do is flush them down the loo but i've seen them hanging out of bins for the towels. I've even seen used nappies (diapers) just tossed in bins. It's gross, utterly gross.

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 6:12 am

scholle-kid;1122937 wrote: No offence , but, I have worked in the restaurant business ,both fast food and sit down dinning, once at a country club with them folks that think there s**t don't smell ( if you get my meaning0 and females are at times nastier then small unruly children when leaving a public rest room . I actually heard one woman tell her friend " It doesn't matter how much of a mess we make , you KNOW the men are 10 times worse"

back on topic, I totally can relate ,empathize and recognize the total scene you described in your post.

Men are known for peeing in the dark and missing the toilet entirely.:wah:

sassyred · Post by **sassyred** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 8:42 am

This is priceless, I loved it....:wah::wah::wah:

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 8:56 am

:wah:

Atleast we don't have to find a large bush somewhere to hide behind and then look for some large-leafed plant this is NOT poison-ivey.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 8:56 am

sassyred;1123169 wrote: This is priceless, I loved it....:wah::wah::wah:

Stick around kid.... we are known to get far dirtier

:D:D

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 8:57 am

You can't flush them down the toilet or diapers they are suppose to be disposed of in the bins that are in place in the stalls for disposal. You flush a diaper down a toilet in the US and the entire area you live in will have backed up plumbing and floods for days. :yh_rotfl

[QUOTE]I'm sorry ladies but i wish to progress to a far nastier problem than wee on the seat. Tampons!!! OMG there, i said it. All we have to do is flush them down the loo but i've seen them hanging out of bins for the towels. I've even seen used nappies (diapers) just tossed in bins. It's gross, utterly gross.[/QUOTE]

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 8:59 am

qsducks;1123067 wrote: Men are known for peeing in the dark and missing the toilet entirely.:wah:

They always splatter the mat though :wah:

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 9:56 am

qsducks;1123067 wrote: Men are known for peeing in the dark and missing the toilet entirely.:wah:

they miss in it in the daytime to ffs!:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl