Would you stay with your mate if they cheated?

princessladedah · Post by **princessladedah** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 7:59 am

I know alot of people that stay with their mate if cheated, not married just live together? They state"It's better than being alone" Would you stay or pack-up

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 8:03 am

princessladedah;1177616 wrote: I know alot of people that stay with their mate if cheated, not married just live together? They state"It's better than being alone" Would you stay or pack-up

Fortunatly, we've been together for over 24 yrs and no, I wouldn't put up with it but at the same time...IDK. It would be extremely hard to trust again.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 8:05 am

If she still loved me I would stay. If she didn't love me I'm gone. Love means more than sex to me.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 8:18 am

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 8:21 am

No way.

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 8:22 am

oscar;1177652 wrote: No way.

Would you really throw Peter to the foxes?

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 8:24 am

qsducks;1177653 wrote: Would you really throw Peter to the foxes? Yes and I'd clear the account before i did :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

jdaz · Post by **jdaz** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 8:30 am

cheating is the worst thing anybody can do to another person,there is no excuse for it. So no I would not stay with that person.

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 8:31 am

oscar;1177656 wrote: Yes and I'd clear the account before i did :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Yob!

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 8:32 am

qsducks;1177659 wrote: Yob! he'd do the same to me

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 8:33 am

oscar;1177662 wrote: he'd do the same to me

Yeah, well I think both our marriages are pretty safe at this point.:wah:

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 8:35 am

qsducks;1177663 wrote: Yeah, well I think both our marriages are pretty safe at this point.:wah: Now, that's not to say i don't look :sneaky: :yh_rotfl

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 8:36 am

oscar;1177665 wrote: Now, that's not to say i don't look :sneaky: :yh_rotfl

I've been with hubs for so long at this point I'm not interested in anybody else...that doesn't say I can't oggle though:wah:

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 8:39 am

qsducks;1177667 wrote: I've been with hubs for so long at this point I'm not interested in anybody else...that doesn't say I can't oggle though:wah: :wah: I love a good ogle. It's no secret to Mr O that i travel a mile to a pharmacy because the chemist is French and very sexy. :wah:

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 9:10 am

oscar;1177670 wrote: :wah: I love a good ogle. It's no secret to Mr O that i travel a mile to a pharmacy because the chemist is French and very sexy. :wah:

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:sneaky:

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 10:28 am

qsducks;1177622 wrote: Fortunatly, we've been together for over 24 yrs and no, I wouldn't put up with it but at the same time...IDK. It would be extremely hard to trust again.

I always said I wouldn't stay, but like Ducky IDK. I think I would. We've been together 19 years although not married. (As they say, marriage is grand but divorce is a hundred grand! :wah: ) We're together because we want to be and I wouldn't chuck it all away for one indiscretion, although, as Ducky says, it would damage the trust.

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 10:30 am

oscar;1177670 wrote: :wah: I love a good ogle. It's no secret to Mr O that i travel a mile to a pharmacy because the chemist is French and very sexy. :wah:

Hmmm...it's not too far to West Sussex..... what did you say that pharmacy's address was again? :sneaky: I think I need some...um...corn plasters.

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 10:31 am

Not a chance. I would be gone like the wind...

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 10:43 am

mikeinie;1177760 wrote: Not a chance. I would be gone like the wind... What has your bowel habits got to do with fidelity?

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 10:45 am

Rapunzel;1177759 wrote: Hmmm...it's not too far to West Sussex..... what did you say that pharmacy's address was again? :sneaky: I think I need some...um...corn plasters.

'Boot's, Emerson Green, Bristol.

His shifts are 1pm....... 8 pm

Saturdays are 9 am..... 1 pm

He's not in sunday's or bank holidays.

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 10:45 am

oscar;1177772 wrote: What has your bowel habits got to do with fidelity?

Your right, what I meant to say is that they would be gone with my wind

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 10:47 am

mikeinie;1177776 wrote: Your right, what I meant to say is that they would be gone with my wind Most men i knew where gone after my wind

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 5:22 pm

mine cheated. I stayed.........I feel everyone deserves a second chance.

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 5:24 pm

mine cheated and I kicked him to the kerb .........

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 6:13 pm

I was cheated on. I stayed even though I always said I never would.... but I knew it was over. Just a matter of time. The kids were little, and I was stunned, frozen, and devastated. When the time was right, I threw him out. Wish Id done it sooner. Very small percentage of relationships survive infidelity.

laneybug · Post by **laneybug** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 6:45 pm

I'd pack up. Done deal. And my husband is oh-so-aware of this. And vice versa.

However, I try hard not to pass judgment on other people's relationship choices. People stay in unfaithful relationships for so many reasons. And, on the flip side, there are so many reasons why people stray. If two can work that out and still co-exist, than great. I am not of that forgiving type, though.

G-man · Post by **G-man** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 6:50 pm

HELL No!

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 6:56 pm

jdaz;1177658 wrote: cheating is the worst thing anybody can do to another person,there is no excuse for it. So no I would not stay with that person.

well said, it is the worst thing someone can do.

If your that unhappy.....leave you spouse first......(.but that of course never happens.)

and, welcome to the gardenforum!:guitarist

Post by **Ally** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 6:56 pm

YZGI;1177626 wrote: If she still loved me I would stay. If she didn't love me I'm gone. Love means more than sex to me.

ITS FUNNY BUT MEN SEEM TO SAY THAT A LOT,I HAVE HAD THIS CONVERSATION AND MY HUBBY SAYS THE SAME HE WOULDNT LIKE IT BUT IF IT WAS JUST SEX AND NOT LOVE HE WOULD SORTA FORGIVE ME.I ON THE OTHER HAND WOULD CHOP HIS U NO WOTS OFF,WETHER IT WAS SEX OR LOVE.

:mad:

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 6:57 pm

Ally;1178055 wrote: ITS FUNNY BUT MEN SEEM TO SAY THAT A LOT,I HAVE HAD THIS CONVERSATION AND MY HUBBY SAYS THE SAME HE WOULDNT LIKE IT BUT IF IT WAS JUST SEX AND NOT LOVE HE WOULD SORTA FORGIVE ME.I ON THE OTHER HAND WOULD CHOP HIS U NO WOTS OFF,WETHER IT WAS SEX OR LOVE.

:mad:

yup, chop off Ally!:yh_rotfl

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 7:26 am

I used to say I'd be gone without a backwards glance. But as I've got older and our relationship has got longer then I don't know. We've both invested a lot of effort into our marriage I think it would be a shame to throw away all those years too quickly.

It would depend on the reasons for the cheating I suppose also who with, how long for, is it just sex or love.

I watched a marriage torn apart through constant infidelity, I saw the wife brought to the verge of a breakdown through what it did to her - the constant worrying and wondering. They divorced, she's now with someone else and very happy - he has nothing, living in rented accommodation with his latest girlfriend and sees his kids occasionally. He thinks life is fantastic now he's fancy free - I wonder if he'll think that in 20 years time.

Bill Sikes · Post by **Bill Sikes** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 7:57 am

princessladedah;1177616 wrote: I know alot of people that stay with their mate if cheated .. They state"It's better than being alone"

That is a definite lowering of standards. "Better than being alone"? No.

farmer giles · Post by **farmer giles** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 8:23 am

YZGI;1177626 wrote: If she still loved me I would stay. If she didn't love me I'm gone. Love means more than sex to me.

thats the way i see it buddy i can get sex anywhere but love comes along very very rarely

by the way thats not a green light to start bonking the young man next door suzy :rolleyes::rolleyes:

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 8:41 am

We had traditional wedding vows but Mr O had to say the words 'I do take thee 'Meninblack' to be part of my life forever'. :yh_rotfl

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 9:06 am

farmer giles;1178280 wrote: thats the way i see it buddy i can get sex anywhere but love comes along very very rarely

by the way thats not a green light to start bonking the young man next door suzy :rolleyes::rolleyes:
How bout that good looking American dude with the hats?:wah:

farmer giles · Post by **farmer giles** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:57 pm

YZGI;1178294 wrote: How bout that good looking American dude with the hats?:wah:

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl tosser

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 1:03 pm

Its probably a question you cant answer unless it actually happens. You can only say what you think you would do. I dont think i could stay, it would eat me up thinking, questioning, doubting. Not much of a life that

Post by **Peter Lake** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 7:13 pm

I constantly try to get rid of her but no takers

I'm joking of course Dearest

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:04 am

well, being married and together for so long and having 2 little kids to consider, I really have no idea what I would do.

but if it was just some guy I was dating then the relationship would probably end.

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:07 am

buttercup;1178456 wrote: Its probably a question you cant answer unless it actually happens. You can only say what you think you would do. I dont think i could stay, it would eat me up thinking, questioning, doubting. Not much of a life that

True enough, it is one thing saying 'I would leave' but it is another thing doing it... the house, the kids.... it would be a hard thing to do. I guess the the balance would be, is it harder to go or harder to stay.....??