No Other Way To Go But Up

strongirl56 · Post by **strongirl56** » Sat Jun 06, 2009 8:43 pm

Hey everyone it's been a while since I last posted anything on forum garden. Next week is finals week and I am graduating with a sociology degree with social services as an options. My next step is to continue my education either with a Master of Social Work degree or with a bachelors degree in Human Development and a minor in Women's Studies. I can't wait til my financial aid goes through. One of my exes is graduating with me on the same day at a different time with an accounting major. We were just talking the other day and we caught up with each other. It was two weeks ago that he told me to leave me alone it turned out he was having a bad week and he didn't mean what he said. One of my exes just wants me to graduate from school so I won't bother him at our school anymore. A lot has changed. I am now dating James, I don't even know if I made the right decision. I have wrote about him on forum garden before and I hope that you guys would be supportive of my decision and not be harsh to me about it. Please do not tell me "you and James dating is a mistake he's not serious about you, it'll never work out". I've already heard that enough times. James has told me that he got jealous when he saw me laughing and giggling with another guy, he was afraid that I'm going to leave him, and that he was afraid to admit that he was in love with me, and he told me that he really do love me. James is not the kind of guy who would commit to a girl easily and he has made an effort to make me happy. It's just my relationship with him is so complicated. There are times when he would test me and push me to the breaking point. Just the other day he said he loves another girl and wants her to be his part time girlfriend and I told him straight out to pick me or her. I got really upset at him. The next morning he said he was just joking around with me. That night he told me you know I love you and I care about you. Do I REALLY know that? We just started it's just been eleven days since we've been together. Seems like we both have trust issues with each other, we both have questions about whether our relationship will work out or not, I always overthink things, overcomplicate things, overreact to things, been the emotional and sensitive person that I've always been. I feel like I can't break his heart. The other thing is James is not affectionate and mushy, I want a boyfriend who is passionate and affectionate. James is calling me more now that we're together, he is kissing me and holding my hand, but my question is: is he doing it cuz he wants to or cuz he knows that I want him to and should the answer to that matter? If he's doing things to make me happy then he's acting and when someone is acting, they will get tired of it, which means that my relationship with him will not last. James also told me that he wouldn't mind me breaking up with him as long as it makes me happy. I always wonder to myself is he cheating on me, will he cheat on me, can I seriously trust him? Is he taking our relationship seriously? Is he still the playa playa he used to be or is he ready to settle down and commit to me? Has he changed? Am I ready for another relationship? Will James break my heart? I know that I've got to start thinking positive for this relationship to last. I guess only time will tell if he really do love me or not, whether he takes my relationship with him seriously, and whether my relationship will last. I think it's time for me to let go of some of the unhappiness that has happened in the past especially when it is related to me and James, it is related to my exes. It is time for me to let go of the past and look forward into the future. It is time for me and James to change together, to go through life together, to stay by each other's side, despite all the negative influence I get from various friends that me and James just aren't meant to be. My friends are not in this relationship with James I am. They couldn't see and feel the effort that James is making in my relationship with him. Yes there are problems with my relationship with James but he also makes me happy. No relationship is perfect there is always going to be ups and downs. I think that when I complain and vent my frustrations to my friends constantly about me and James, they get sick and tired of it, I overexaggerate things which leads my friends to think that James is an worsest ******* on the planet. Therefore, they just want James out of my life. I'm the one stuck in the hard place, part of me feels like James is worth it and another part of me thinks the opposite. James and I have agreed to hope for the best and take our relationship one step at a time.

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Sat Jun 06, 2009 9:32 pm

You have a strange name for your avatrar name...you claim to be stronggirl, but you constantly mention boyfriends who have either dumped you or whatever. My advice, IMO...dump the boyfriends & focus on yourself.

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Sat Jun 06, 2009 10:26 pm

Talk about SPRING BREAK........!!:yh_rotfl

nothing else to do..???

Go ahead punish yourself.. Congrats on school...!!!

Patsy

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Sat Jun 06, 2009 10:40 pm

I forgot to mention that

Post by **Sunshine** » Sat Jun 06, 2009 10:55 pm

SG, if you are already having trust issues and he is playing head games with you, are you sure you want to possibly be wasting your time trying to make a go of it? Hun, you don't need a boyfriend that badly do you? Sure a relationship is hard work but you need to have a base to start with. you two seem to be standing on the edge of a cliff hoping their won't be an earthquake.

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Sun Jun 07, 2009 1:04 am

I found it hard reading your post my eyes just arent up to it!

My guess is, it's about you and a fella not trusting each other yada yada........

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Sun Jun 07, 2009 5:37 am

strongirl (strong as weak tea) take a good long look at yourself in the mirror

whilst you're there.....examine your forehead...

no, you're not looking for wrinkles, brought on by stress...

you're looking at where it says DOORMAT in large, bold capitals....

FGS.....GET A LIFE! :-5

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Sun Jun 07, 2009 6:06 am

I'm just soooooooooo bored with this on off on off soap 'drama'. I haven't read this thread for ages, and it's like I'm reading the same words that were typed all those weeks ago. FFS !!!! I've got better things to do. Just grow up girl. I won't be wasting my time here any more ........................ :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Sun Jun 07, 2009 6:06 pm

G#Gill;1200740 wrote: I'm just soooooooooo bored with this on off on off soap 'drama'. I haven't read this thread for ages, and it's like I'm reading the same words that were typed all those weeks ago. FFS !!!! I've got better things to do. Just grow up girl. I won't be wasting my time here any more ........................ :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl

I totally agree with you Gill! As far as I can see, this girl never gets involved with FG, never joins in any of the threads and never chats to FG members. Her threads all seem to be me, me, me and questioning why this long procession of guys keep dumping her? Folks here have given her LOTS of free therapy, they've boosted her ego and her confidence and cheered her up whenever she asked but she's never responded in kind. She seems to be incredibly needy and very clingy, she must cling to guys like a limpet...no wonder they just want to shake her off. I'm sorry if it's harsh but she has had a ton of good advice here - she just never follows it. She needs to grow up!

After listening to her whine for 74 posts, I thought this was a pretty rich comment!

strongirl56;1059070 wrote: What goes on between me and my boyfriend is my business. You don't know me you don't know what kind of relationship me and my boyfriend have.

After 74 posts, I think we do! :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl