On your own

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 6:17 am

With all this talk of partners and kids and romance all around the garden, it got me thinking about myself and the future. I can't decide whether to persue a relationship or not. Part of me really wants to have a family, but then the other part is happy remaining single. If I did decide to start looking for a partner, then how would u go about it? (please don't say clubs or pubs - as that is not me at all!)

Any advice would be kindly appreciated

pink princess · Post by **pink princess** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 6:19 am

im not sure you can go out specifically looking for someone.... i think love just kinda finds us.....

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 6:25 am

just let life happen...it will. i was very happily alone for ten years, not looking for a partner. just enjoying my job, and surrounded by men. didn't faze me. when the time is right you will find your soulmate. and you will know.

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 6:30 am

You may be right there pp, but I just kinda get the feeling sometimes that romance isn't for me, and that the person I may be looking for isn't out there. Or if she is then the chances of us meeting are very slim.

I would love to believe that destiny will bring me together with someone, but part of me just feels that this will never happen.

Love or romance have never really been my thing, so I'm not that sure what approach to take to it, if any.

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 6:32 am

lady cop wrote: just let life happen...it will. i was very happily alone for ten years, not looking for a partner. just enjoying my job, and surrounded by men. didn't faze me. when the time is right you will find your soulmate. and you will know.

You are probably right LC, maybe I shouldn't worry about it and just carry on with life as usual. Thank u both for your advice

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 6:40 am

Oh 1 more question that perhaps u could answer.

What would your advice be on a first date? Any ideas that u could give as to what to do or where to go, or just let it flow naturally and see? :-3

pink princess · Post by **pink princess** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 6:47 am

oooh good question

ok now i would avoid a restuarant personally, im too scared that id end up dropping food all over me or pinging it off my plate!

so.... i dunno somewhere pictureqsue and beautiful, i like somewhere quiet where you can talk and play fight etc!

my fiance took me to brighton, we had chips on the pier (and guess what, i splashed vinegar all over him!)then we sat on the beach on a rug and had the most perfect kiss (it wasnt exactly a first date... our getting together was a little complicated so wed already kissed)

actually thinking about it let me amend my answer, i wont go out with someone until i know them REALLY well already, i tend to get to know them for about 6 months then let them take me out!

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 6:58 am

Thanks for the advice pp. You're right about the restaurant. I would most likely do the same thing because of nerves :wah:

I also agree with going out on a first date after a couple of months, (as long as things are going well that is.) I like the idea of going somewhere quiet and peaceful.

You always see these movies where people will take someone out to the strangest of places, and think to yourself, "why would you want to take them there of all places?"

Well fingers crossed, and I shall see what my future brings!! :-6

pink princess · Post by **pink princess** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 7:03 am

i just looked at ure profile, your kidna young to be worrying about all this sort of stuff, you have a WHOLE life ahead of you you may meet someone next week but if not youve got the next 50 years to find someone just think of all the places youll have gone to by then and the opportunities youll have had of meeting someone.....

everything will work out as fate has it planned

i REALLY REALLY recommend you get the film serendipity and sit down with whatever your fave food/drink is.... itll restore your faith in everything :-4

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 7:03 am

our first date we went to a British pub here, a very authentic one. we sat outside in a garden and there was soft music coming over a speaker. the moon was full. we spontaneously just looked at each other, stood up and started dancing to rod stewart "it had to be you". it was the most romantic and touching moment of our lives. you can't plan those things. but we will never forget it.

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 7:13 am

Ah that sounds so romantic LC :-4

You are right PP, I probably am too young to be thinking of such things, and indeed there will be a time when I will look back and say "how could I think of saying such things."

It must just be all the love that is in the air around here that has made me think about these things. Like when u are reminded of your first kiss or date and all the memories start to flood back again.

Mind u I'm some people might want to forget some of their first dates :wah:

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 7:27 am

flopstock wrote: WHERE TO FIND WOMEN?

online dating ..take a walk on the wild side

online shopping...women love to shop :p

online chat rooms..women love men who talk :rolleyes:

or

and i know this is a wild, unnatural, and funky idea....

1.LEAN OVER

2.TURN OFF THE COMPUTER

3.WALK OUT THE DOOR

4.GO TO WHERE YOU SEE LIVE PEOPLE HAVING A GOOD TIME!

DON'T FORGET TO NAME YOUR FIRST GIRL AFTER ME!:-4

Thanks for the advice. I shall be heading straight for the nearest fun time goings on outside. Mind u, they might not want me interfering!!! Hehehe

pink princess · Post by **pink princess** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 7:37 am

what do you do chris? at uni, working etc etc

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 7:44 am

pink princess wrote: what do you do chris? at uni, working etc etc

At the moment nothing. I finshed getting my Diploma in IT back in June. Then had a very long rest, followed by the family holiday and up to the present day.

I am just starting to look for work, and quite excited by the prospect of doing so. Not sure which line to work in mind, computers seem to be my thing, so something on a similar scale I guess.

I've only had 1 other period of time where I was looking for work, but that got interupted after a month by Jury service, and an eye operation that kept me out for a month and a half, (but that's a different matter altogether.

)

pink princess · Post by **pink princess** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 7:47 am

did you have g'friends back at school/uni?

nosey rnt i!

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 7:54 am

That's alright don't mind discussing my life with EVERYONE

No I've never had any girlfriends at all, (hope that isn' too hard to believe!) Had 1 girl that I liked waaaaaay back, but that was just a short thing that went no-where fast, and to be honest I can't remember much about it anyway.

I was a quiet guy back in school. Spent all my free hours working at the Library, and became the Head Librarian there. So whilst my friends were out chatting girls, I was putting away books.

Heh I enjoyed it so, and don't regret 1 minute of it and that's all that counts

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 7:56 am

hey Chris...i was a law librarian....we librarians have deep dark secrets! LOL

pink princess · Post by **pink princess** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 7:58 am

see i like that, i think thats cool

id rather that then a guy that had been with 20 people before he had that many years in his life!

you will meet someone, someone who suits you perfectly.... you sound like quite a quiet sweet guy to me, in fact something of a catch....

itll all happen when it does

(still recommend serendipity tho!)

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 8:00 am

lady cop wrote: hey Chris...i was a law librarian....we librarians have deep dark secrets! LOL

Haha that we do. Oh we had many a fun time back then, particularly the Book fairs were people from all around came to see our wares. I made a pretty good merchant if I do say so myself

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 8:04 am

pink princess wrote: see i like that, i think thats cool

id rather that then a guy that had been with 20 people before he had that many years in his life!

you will meet someone, someone who suits you perfectly.... you sound like quite a quiet sweet guy to me, in fact something of a catch....

itll all happen when it does

(still recommend serendipity tho!)

:o Ah thanks PP, I appreciate your kind words. I too hope to find someone who has been looking for a while, rather than having mulitple partners, will make the whole first time experience a whole lot better in my opinion.

Oh and I shall watch that film you recommend, I'm sure it will be a good watch, what's it about???

1 more thing - If anyone is out there, reading this and likes what they see then feel free to give me a call :wah: Oh I couldn't resist doing that, hahaha

pink princess · Post by **pink princess** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 8:18 am

its all about fate and destiny, based around a couple who meet (john cusack and kate beckinsale) they meet but then go their separate ways and its all about how fate works its wonderous/mysterious ways.... the more times you watch it the more things you pick up on the film that are trying to show the destiny.....

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 8:21 am

then get "four weddings and a funeral"! and after that "love actually". both movies Bothwell bought for me. very romantic!

pink princess · Post by **pink princess** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 8:25 am

see i wasnt sure about love actually, i found it really hard to get into, the film seemed to jump all around the place...

mind you i think i was at my parents and was kind of mid fight with the other half who was at home..... might explain it!

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 10:40 am

flopstock wrote: You are a computer geek?:eek: :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl

I'm sorry sweetie, but you don't need any sympathy. You already are a babe magnet..trust me on this.

The true secret..and we geeks only share this information amongst ourselves (so everyone else avert your eyes!)...

you have to dumb down..when you talk to regular people. They feel stupid every time you open your mouth..(and with good reason I might add..heheheh)

Once you get through to them that you are not laughing at them, but with them...they will want you...big time..just try to make it convincing..:rolleyes:

Me a babe magnet!!!!!!, ahem why thank u, (first time I've ever been called that!)

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 10:47 am

chrisb84uk wrote: With all this talk of partners and kids and romance all around the garden, it got me thinking about myself and the future. I can't decide whether to persue a relationship or not. Part of me really wants to have a family, but then the other part is happy remaining single. If I did decide to start looking for a partner, then how would u go about it? (please don't say clubs or pubs - as that is not me at all!)

Any advice would be kindly appreciated

Oh Chris hunny go with what your heart says, if you see a lady of interest go on and persue her. Don't think you need a partner just because others have one. Time will tell.....

However if you are serious about finding someone hmmmmm We have dating places here, dating sites online, ummmm if you volunteer anywhere, if you go to church, I mean really where ever people are there is bound to be singles right. The internet has as much of a chance as real life, the key is be careful (like you would everywhere else), be choosy, and don't let anyone "trap" you into anything you do NOT want.

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 10:50 am

chrisb84uk wrote: Oh 1 more question that perhaps u could answer.

What would your advice be on a first date? Any ideas that u could give as to what to do or where to go, or just let it flow naturally and see? :-3
Sorry late to all this for you but like PP said avoid a restraunt, gawd I was afraid I ate too much, would drip or drool, talk with stuff in my teeth it was awkward as could be. I don't do salad, I like my food so my feelings were "oh he thinks I am a piggy" quite opposite but that is another story.

I would suggest any activity with loads of people around, like a street festival, ice skating, (sorry I know winter looms), ummm a sporting event if she likes that, a concert of sorts. Then go from there. Be unique I say

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 10:54 am

Also on your new job you may find the girl of your interest, just always keep an eye open. Also make friends and friends have friends too. Just remember to keep an open mind and keep trying cause there are many a great person out there hun and your so young you have loads of time to persue at your speed.

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 10:55 am

Minks!!! Hello where have u been lately??? Good to see u

Thank u for all that sound advice, it is much appreciated. I do intend on just letting things pan out for a while, and see if I meet anyone special then, rather than doing all the searching myself, and only disappointing myself.

I suppose it's hard really to say at this stage what to do on a first date, as it really depends on several factors, that aren't going to make themselves clear until a later date, but I have gathered to avoid restaurants like the plague!!

And earlier I was just having 1 of those rare romantic moments and got some very good advice from Chonsi and LC as well.

That has now gone mind and little devil Chris has returned in his place

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 11:00 am

chrisb84uk wrote: Minks!!! Hello where have u been lately??? Good to see u

I been to london to see the queen hehehehe (labor day holiday for us canucks too)Thank u for all that sound advice, it is much appreciated. I do intend on just letting things pan out for a while, and see if I meet anyone special then, rather than doing all the searching myself, and only disappointing myself. Perfect, you have loads of time so why not, just play safe is the best I can say

I suppose it's hard really to say at this stage what to do on a first date, as it really depends on several factors, that aren't going to make themselves clear until a later date, but I have gathered to avoid restaurants like the plague!! Zactly, you have to read your date, and understand what she make like as well. You know there are all kinds of things to do that are unusual, I would think something fun and light like a tour of the candy store would be fun. Memorable if nothing else hehehehehe Mmmmmm chocolate ahahahahaAnd earlier I was just having 1 of those rare romantic moments and got some very good advice from Chonsi and LC as well. Fantastic.

That has now gone mind and little devil Chris has returned in his place

Oh no devil did I see you mention devil well your first date could be the adult xxx stores ahahahaha oooo sorry I could not resist that one hehehehe

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 11:04 am

:wah: Ooooooh a visit to a choc store huh. You do realize that if that is the case then it may be a very short date. Most likely we will be coming in together, and she will be leaving on her own. Nothing gets between me and my chocs, hahahaha

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 11:12 am

chrisb84uk wrote: :wah: Ooooooh a visit to a choc store huh. You do realize that if that is the case then it may be a very short date. Most likely we will be coming in together, and she will be leaving on her own. Nothing gets between me and my chocs, hahahaha

Wanna date ahahahahahaha

Oooo a man who loves choco as much as ladies doo hehehehehe sweeeeeet!!!!

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 11:21 am

:wah: Yep I'm a real sucker for white chocolate.

So anyone want to get into my good books, or would like something done for them, then u can pay me in good old white choc

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 11:25 am

chrisb84uk wrote: :wah: Yep I'm a real sucker for white chocolate.

So anyone want to get into my good books, or would like something done for them, then u can pay me in good old white choc

heheheh that is all I ate as a kid. All my easter choco had to be white as I would not eat the other hehehehe

Well now I know your secret hehehehehe

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 11:32 am

There just me be something about white chocolate that makes it sooo much nicer than the other types huh. I just can't put my finger on it... Oh and here's a pic of a white choc bunny (I know Chonsi seems to like bunnies!!)

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 11:38 am

chrisb84uk wrote: There just me be something about white chocolate that makes it sooo much nicer than the other types huh. I just can't put my finger on it... Oh and here's a pic of a white choc bunny (I know Chonsi seems to like bunnies!!)

Hehehehe nice pic I am sure CG will love it heheheh White choco is very smoooth mind you expensive brown choco is too hehehehehehe I just love choco because it is in the female composition to do so ahahahahahaha

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 11:44 am

I'm quite lucky really as I live pretty near to the Cadbury factory near Birmingham, where I live and that's where they come up with all the choco goodness that I love so much.

They also give u lots of free bars and free chocolate tasting while your visiting there as well. That's probably why I've visited there so many times.

Hope they don't start getting suspicious now :wah:

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 11:46 am

chrisb84uk wrote: I'm quite lucky really as I live pretty near to the Cadbury factory near Birmingham, where I live and that's where they come up with all the choco goodness that I love so much.

They also give u lots of free bars and free chocolate tasting while your visiting there as well. That's probably why I've visited there so many times.

Hope they don't start getting suspicious now :wah:

change your facial hair often and they will never suspect it is you hehehehehe

OMG I would love to live close to a choco factory ahahahahaha

OK no not really my hips would become a "wide load" then ahahahaha

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 11:55 am

minks wrote: change your facial hair often and they will never suspect it is you hehehehehe

OMG I would love to live close to a choco factory ahahahahaha

OK no not really my hips would become a "wide load" then ahahahaha

:wah: Very funny

I still have a Charlie off Chocolate factory fame moment, when I buy a choc bar and slowly rip off the cover, building up a great anticipation before eating it. Ah as that lovely chocolate moves around your mouth it's like being in heaven.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 11:57 am

chrisb84uk wrote: There just me be something about white chocolate that makes it sooo much nicer than the other types huh. I just can't put my finger on it... Oh and here's a pic of a white choc bunny (I know Chonsi seems to like bunnies!!)
Hey, it looks like me! Thanks Chris!

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 12:03 pm

chonsigirl wrote: Hey, it looks like me! Thanks Chris!

No problem glad u liked him

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 12:04 pm

chrisb84uk wrote: :wah: Very funny

I still have a Charlie off Chocolate factory fame moment, when I buy a choc bar and slowly rip off the cover, building up a great anticipation before eating it. Ah as that lovely chocolate moves around your mouth it's like being in heaven.

I see some lady is going to be very lucky with you one day hehehehehe

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 12:07 pm

:wah: I hope so too. I mean who could possibly not like little old me huh??

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 12:08 pm

chrisb84uk wrote: :wah: I hope so too. I mean who could possibly not like little old me huh??

you got that right hehehehehehehe so see your well on your way, dazzle any lady with your charm and love of chocolate and she will quite simply melt hehehehehe

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 12:11 pm

Very clever - I like the way you handle your words

Oh and all I need now is someone to pass the message around that Chris is here and he's ready for action :wah:

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 12:12 pm

Oh, that puddle on the ground, was that someone I knew?

Minks, Minks, where are you?

venus · Post by **venus** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 12:14 pm

hey Chris, the secret to finding true love is......

It finds you, you can't go out looking for it.

It could be with someone you already know, get the bus with every day etc.

Im with pink on this, it will happen when its meant too!

Trust me love and destiny,:) works in weird and wonderful ways

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 12:15 pm

chrisb84uk wrote: :wah: I hope so too. I mean who could possibly not like little old me huh??

Well, you do look like Scrat; but looks aren't everything I guess.

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 12:16 pm

venus wrote: hey Chris, the secret to finding true love is......

It finds you, you can't go out looking for it.

It could be with someone you already know, get the bus with every day etc.

Im with pink on this, it will happen when its meant too!

Trust me love and destiny,:) works in weird and wonderful ways

Thanks for the advice Venus. You're right I now realize that I should just let things flow as normal, and not go pushing as that won't help one bit. Who knows maybe the woman of my dreams will reveal herself to me soon