Subject: Where to Retire?
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> You can live in Phoenix , Arizona where.....
> 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
> 2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in
> the toilet bowl..
> 3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
> 4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
> 5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face
> when you open your oven door..
> 6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
>
> You can Live in California where...
> 1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
> 2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
> 3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
> 4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
> 5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long
> it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
> 6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Earthquakes, and Drought.
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> You can Live in New York City where..
> 1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan ..
> 2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from
> Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
> 3 You think Central Park is "nature."
> 4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own
> language makes you multi-lingual.
> 5. You've worn out a car horn.... that is, if you even have a car.
> 6.. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
>
> You can Live in Maine where....
> 1.. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco .
> 2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
> 3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
> 4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
> 5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.
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> You can Live in the Deep South where...
> 1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
> 2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
> 3. "He needed killin'" is a valid defense.
> 4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jim my Bob, Mary Sue, Betty
> Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
> 5. Everything is either "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder."
> It's important to know the difference, too.
>
> You can live in Colorado where...
> 1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
> 2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and so he
> stops at the day care center.
> 3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
> 4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
>
> You can live in the Midwest where...
> 1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
> 2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
> 3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
> 4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
> 5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was
> different!"
>
> AND You can live in Florida where..
> 1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
> 2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
> 3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
> 4 Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
> 5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.
>
Where to retire
Where to retire
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl Absolutely hysterical! Brilliant hoppy! :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
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farmer giles
- Posts: 2213
- Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2009 6:08 am
Where to retire
great stuff hopper :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl