Diary

hoppy · Post by **hoppy** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 4:45 pm

HER DIARY:

Tonight,

I thought my husband was acting weird.

We had made plans to

meet at a bar to have a drink.

I was shopping with

my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I

was a bit

late, but he made no comment on it.

Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could

talk.

He agreed, but he

didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong.

He said,

'Nothing..' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.

He said he wasn't

upset, that it had nothing

to do with me, and not to worry about it.

On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and

kept driving.

I can't explain

his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'

When we got

home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he

wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

He

just sat there quietly and watched TV..

He continued to seem

distant and absent.

Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15

minutes later, he came to bed.

To my surprise, he

responded to my caresses, and we made love.

But I still felt

that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else.

He fell asleep -

I cried. I don't know what to do.

I'm almost sure

that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

HIS DIARY:

My Harley

wouldn't start today, but at least I got laid

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 5:06 pm

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

hoppy · Post by **hoppy** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 6:17 pm

A Preacher was explaining that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more.

There is a hush within the congregation.

No one wanted him to leave.

Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the City stands up and proclaims, .... 'If the Preacher stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year, and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!'

The congregation sighs in relief, and applauds.

Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands and says, 'If the Preacher will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary, and also establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of all his children!'

More sighs and loud applause.

Sadie Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, 'If the Preacher stays, .... I will give him sex!'

There is total silence.

The Preacher, blushing, asks her, 'Mrs. Jones, whatever possessed you to say that?'

Sadie's 90 year old husband Jake is now trying to hide, holding his

forehead with the palm of his hand, and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies, 'Well , I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, ........'Screw him!'

Isn't senility wonderful?

Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.

shelbell · Post by **shelbell** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 9:50 am

Too funny hoppy!!! :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 1:06 pm

Brilliant hopster! :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl Loved it! :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

farmer giles · Post by **farmer giles** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 1:28 pm

fantastic hoppy :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Sat Jul 18, 2009 6:09 am

:wah:

So funny.................and so true.