Newsflash-

[hoppy]

Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States

of America will be outsourced to India as of September 1, 2009.

The move is being made in order to save the President's $500,000 yearly

salary as well as the record $750 billion in deficit expenditures and

related overhead that his office has incurred during the last 3 months. It

is anticipated that $7 trillion can be saved to the end of the President's

term. "We believe this is a wise financial move. The cost savings are huge,

stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). "We cannot remain competitive on

the world stage with the current level of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.





Obama was informed by email this morning of his termination. Preparations

for the job move have been underway for some time. Gurvinder Singh, a

tele-technician for Indus Teleservices, Mumbai India , will assume the

office of President as of September 1, 2009. Mr. Singh was born in the

United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls ,

NY thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of

$320 (USD) a month but no health coverage or other benefits. It is believed

that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without a

support staff. Due to the time difference between the US and India , he

will be working primarily at night. "Working nights will allow me to keep

my day job at the Dell Computer call center," stated Mr. Singh in an

exclusive interview. "I am excited about this position . I always hoped I

would be President."

A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully

aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not

be a problem as Obama had never been familiar with the issues either.

Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond

effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he can

address common concerns without having to understand the underlying issue at

all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson. "Obama

has used them successfully for years, with the result that some people

actually thought he knew what he was talking about."

Obama will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final

day of employment. Following a two-week waiting period, he will be eligible

for $140 a week unemployment for 26 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be

eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed

limit.





Obama has been provided with the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to

help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition.

According to Manpower, Obama may have difficulties in securing a new

position due to a lack of any successful work experience during his

lifetime.

A greeter position at WalMart was suggested due to Obama's extensive

experience at shaking hands, as well as his special smile.

[qsducks]

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

[Bryn Mawr]

hoppy;1219102 wrote: Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States

of America will be outsourced to India as of September 1, 2009.




Shame they didn't do it eight years ago innit!