Putting affairs in order

hoppy · Post by **hoppy** » Thu Aug 06, 2009 11:14 am

Subject: Bitches 'til the End

Man, I'll tell ya, women can be cold until the end!

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.'

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.

'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when th ings don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So, let's head to the club and have a martini.'

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.

The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end, 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.'

The friend s were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that??'

'Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone.'

And THAT, my friends, is what is called, 'Putting Your Affairs In Order.'

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Thu Aug 06, 2009 11:29 am

:yh_rotfl

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Thu Aug 06, 2009 11:55 am

Hmmm. Let's see:

Alison, Beatrice, Caroline, Delilah, Elizabeth, Frances....:p

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Thu Aug 06, 2009 2:02 pm

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl Excellent! :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Thu Aug 06, 2009 2:24 pm

oh hoppy I wish I could laugh at that but I've seen those type of women here. It's sickening . Why is it that some people think the first thing you want to do after the death of a spouse is have sex. I've seen two instances where mens' wives died and women hung around like buzzards...................Being oh so gentle and caring. Many like myself were disgusted.:-5:-5:-5

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Thu Aug 06, 2009 4:49 pm

:yh_rotfl Thanks for the idea hoppy. :sneaky:

lou lou belle · Post by **lou lou belle** » Fri Aug 07, 2009 1:47 am

hoppy;1226270 wrote: Subject: Bitches 'til the End

Man, I'll tell ya, women can be cold until the end!

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.'

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.

'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when th ings don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So, let's head to the club and have a martini.'

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.

The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end, 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.'

The friend s were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that??'

'Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone.'

And THAT, my friends, is what is called, 'Putting Your Affairs In Order.'

Brilliant story hoppy... i better check out my girlfriends, especially two of them, they have always said my hubbie is a hottie. If i go first and they try and get their claws in him. I,ll haunt them, i tell you, haunt them i will :wah:

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Fri Aug 07, 2009 1:58 am

Don't know if you have to go to the extreme of AIDS but just mentioning your hubby gave you a couple of doses over the years I reckon would be enough .....try herpes. or genital warts. Then they would be able to understand why you and he are able to have a continuing sexual relationship but they wouldn't want to .:sneaky::D

Gotta make it believable, contagious and irreversible:wah:

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Fri Aug 07, 2009 6:46 am

fuzzywuzzy;1226386 wrote: oh hoppy I wish I could laugh at that but I've seen those type of women here. It's sickening . Why is it that some people think the first thing you want to do after the death of a spouse is have sex. I've seen two instances where mens' wives died and women hung around like buzzards...................Being oh so gentle and caring. Many like myself were disgusted.:-5:-5:-5

Like when my husband's first wife died - her so-called best friend. The same woman who spread gossip that we'd been having an affair before she died - I didn't even know him then, she knew that too - evil bitch.

Good joke though! :wah:

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Fri Aug 07, 2009 1:19 pm

Although, I guess there's a flipside to all of this. My old next door neighbour husband died and a the time she had three young kids. So her husbands mates tried to help her her out by chopping wood etc. ..............Then the gossip begun. She ended up sending all help away (when she really needed it) just to pacify the hoards. So a great tradition (that I'm sure many people share all over the world) of helping out your mates family when he can't was sullied, pathetic really.

shelbell · Post by **shelbell** » Fri Aug 07, 2009 4:31 pm

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Post by **Sunshine** » Fri Aug 07, 2009 8:34 pm

fuzzywuzzy;1226934 wrote: Although, I guess there's a flipside to all of this. My old next door neighbour husband died and a the time she had three young kids. So her husbands mates tried to help her her out by chopping wood etc. ..............Then the gossip begun. She ended up sending all help away (when she really needed it) just to pacify the hoards. So a great tradition (that I'm sure many people share all over the world) of helping out your mates family when he can't was sullied, pathetic really.

That is really sad Fuzzy. Just when she need a bit of help she couldn't allow it due to false rumors. How dirty and nasty the world has become.