Why is it...

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 7:46 am

When someone or something annoys you, you just can't ignore it?

Why do people feel the need to rise to someone else's opinions, what is it about them holding a difference of opinion that can make you so personally mad?

I can walk on by some people's mad cap opinions, generally laughing. Most of these people have a sole purpose to wind people up, and guess what, whilst people keep on reacting to them they are achieving what they set out to do.

Snowfire · Post by **Snowfire** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 7:54 am

Sometimes it just touches a nerve and you have to bite. We've all done it. Emotion takes over

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 7:57 am

Third of four brothers, I was the butt of many tongue poking, leg pinching (under the dinner table) and other wind up techniques by my elder cleverer brothers.

When you are seven you cannot fail to react to a funny face or a dig across the dinner table.

My Father would tell me when I used to say "He started it" "Then I shall finish it" and clip me around the ear.

He also told us all , that by reacting you were playing into the hands of your tormentor, the only way to beat them was to ignore them.

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 7:58 am

Boy how true and it happen all to often. Just the other day here in a thread I got all worked up had this masterpiece of an answer ready to post, then thought to myself NAH!! By then I had gotten it out of my system and could move on without even posting my anger.

Emotions do take over,sometimes not with the best results.

hoppy · Post by **hoppy** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 8:02 am

Some of us are naturally combative and some have a hair trigger too.

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 8:09 am

Some of us are naturally combative and some have a hair trigger too.

IS THAT AIMED AT ME?????

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 8:11 am

If someone winds me up, yup their gonna get it back.

its just normal when people annoy you.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 8:22 am

Odie;1235634 wrote: If someone winds me up, yup their gonna get it back.

its just normal when people annoy you.

We personally all have the choice to react or not, I actually prefer to not let people know they have annoyed me if I can, so as not to give them the satisfaction.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 8:24 am

Bruv;1235624 wrote: Third of four brothers, I was the butt of many tongue poking, leg pinching (under the dinner table) and other wind up techniques by my elder cleverer brothers.

When you are seven you cannot fail to react to a funny face or a dig across the dinner table.

My Father would tell me when I used to say "He started it" "Then I shall finish it" and clip me around the ear.

He also told us all , that by reacting you were playing into the hands of your tormentor, the only way to beat them was to ignore them.

Wise words there!

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 12:34 pm

I believe you are addressing a situation when silence is indeed golden.

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 1:32 pm

along-for-the-ride;1235705 wrote: I believe you are addressing a situation when silence is indeed golden.

And duct tape is silver! :wah:

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 2:07 pm

Betty Boop;1235616 wrote: When someone or something annoys you, you just can't ignore it?

Why do people feel the need to rise to someone else's opinions, what is it about them holding a difference of opinion that can make you so personally mad?

I can walk on by some people's mad cap opinions, generally laughing. Most of these people have a sole purpose to wind people up, and guess what, whilst people keep on reacting to them they are achieving what they set out to do.

Well, forums would be pretty boring if everyone agreed. Are people being 'mad' or passionate in response, you'd have to give an example of where someone is being 'mad' rather than passionate. Then again we don't all see the same sentance the same way.

On that note i'm off for a glass of wine.

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 2:28 pm

Rapunzel;1235722 wrote: And duct tape is silver! :wah:

:wah: I have a shirt with that saying.

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 2:33 pm

Peg;1235739 wrote: :wah: I have a shirt with that saying.

:wah: I love that saying :wah:

farmer giles · Post by **farmer giles** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 2:47 pm

Rapunzel;1235741 wrote: :wah: I love that saying :wah:

silence is golden

duct tape is silver

and hair styles with one pig tails have platinum :-3:-3:)

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 2:48 pm

buttercup;1235730 wrote: Well, forums would be pretty boring if everyone agreed. Are people being 'mad' or passionate in response, you'd have to give an example of where someone is being 'mad' rather than passionate. Then again we don't all see the same sentance the same way.

On that note i'm off for a glass of wine.

They would be boring places yes.

No we don't all read sentences the same way, that's where half the problems with the written word stem from after all, a persons perception of the sentence also varies with whatever mood they may happen to be in at the time. When you look at it in that concept, all written words on forums are a recipe for disaster :wah:

I was thinking about the threads where the original post will cause upset, people react, but nothing happens, the original poster doesn't really come in and engage and try to justify their reasoning. Yet like a train crash, everyone feels the need to come back in to look, generally getting more angry as they do so.

In real life, if someone is chatting away within a group that you can't bear to hear the opinions of you move away, find someone else to chat to. I just wondered why that is so hard to do within the setting of a forum.

farmer giles · Post by **farmer giles** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 2:50 pm

the wierd thing is there are all these mods on fg and there are all these fights

yet on facebook there are no mods and no fights

why is that ??

:D

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 2:53 pm

farmer giles;1235746 wrote: the wierd thing is there are all these mods on fg and there are all these fights

yet on facebook there are no mods and no fights

why is that ??

:D

Because you choose to accept 'friends' on facebook, generally people you already know. Shall we have a system where we put it to the vote if we should accept new members here?

Post by **spot** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 3:00 pm

Betty Boop;1235748 wrote: Because you choose to accept 'friends' on facebook, generally people you already know. Shall we have a system where we put it to the vote if we should accept new members here?

Retrospective! I demand it has to be retrospective!

farmer giles · Post by **farmer giles** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 3:07 pm

Betty Boop;1235748 wrote: Because you choose to accept 'friends' on facebook, generally people you already know. Shall we have a system where we put it to the vote if we should accept new members here?

not just friends i added oscar :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 3:15 pm

Betty Boop;1235616 wrote: When someone or something annoys you, you just can't ignore it?

Why do people feel the need to rise to someone else's opinions, what is it about them holding a difference of opinion that can make you so personally mad?

I can walk on by some people's mad cap opinions, generally laughing. Most of these people have a sole purpose to wind people up, and guess what, whilst people keep on reacting to them they are achieving what they set out to do.
I know what you mean. Any number of people can say the exact same thing and you may react to each one differently. I just dropped from another forum because I just couldn't resist the bait.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 3:15 pm

farmer giles;1235744 wrote: silence is golden

duct tape is silver

and hair styles with one pig tails have platinum :-3:-3:)
:yh_doh

mrsK · Post by **mrsK** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 3:23 pm

Betty Boop;1235616 wrote: When someone or something annoys you, you just can't ignore it?

Why do people feel the need to rise to someone else's opinions, what is it about them holding a difference of opinion that can make you so personally mad?

I can walk on by some people's mad cap opinions, generally laughing. Most of these people have a sole purpose to wind people up, and guess what, whilst people keep on reacting to them they are achieving what they set out to do.

Ignoring is my middle name now.

I am getting better at it:-6

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 3:24 pm

Betty Boop;1235745 wrote: They would be boring places yes.

No we don't all read sentences the same way, that's where half the problems with the written word stem from after all, a persons perception of the sentence also varies with whatever mood they may happen to be in at the time. When you look at it in that concept, all written words on forums are a recipe for disaster :wah:

I was thinking about the threads where the original post will cause upset, people react, but nothing happens, the original poster doesn't really come in and engage and try to justify their reasoning. Yet like a train crash, everyone feels the need to come back in to look, generally getting more angry as they do so.

In real life, if someone is chatting away within a group that you can't bear to hear the opinions of you move away, find someone else to chat to. I just wondered why that is so hard to do within the setting of a forum.

Chinese proverb

A closed mind is like a closed book - Just a block of wood.

People on forums often don't know a great deal about the topic they find themselves in. There is often more to learn about a subject than they have time to give to it. If they go off on one in a topic and then are found out to know little, its a cause of embarrasment being found out and they soon disappear spreading their venom in one liners in other threads they also know very little about.. They provide arguing points from political or religious leaders who are mostly just as closed minded as they are. When they are unable in their own words to expand on that, they switch to emotional arguments. Example - Well do you support the president or the terrorists?.

If you do not fit in exactly with the thoughts that they hold, they will soon switch to insults rather than confront something of which they are not prepared to admit they know little about. Its all very sad but part of forum life.

Fortunately there are many who are open minded and when confronted with something that makes their brain tick, go off in search of more knowledge on the subject viewing all sides of a debate through research before reaching a conclusion on their own. These people i respect even when i do not agree with what the conclusion they reach is.

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 3:41 pm

Betty Boop;1235636 wrote: We personally all have the choice to react or not, I actually prefer to not let people know they have annoyed me if I can, so as not to give them the satisfaction.

- of course we have a choice, in everything we have choices........

some just like to just keep sticking that knife in a little further, and make your life a hell, so yes if someone is nasty intentionally to me, I will vent back.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 3:46 pm

Odie;1235783 wrote: yes, we do have a choice, in everything we have choices........

some just like to stir the pot and make your life a hell, so you need to vent back.

Those that choose to attempt to make my life hell don't even get the satisfaction of knowing whether they were successful or not. It's more frustrating for them than it is for me.

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 3:46 pm

Rapunzel;1235722 wrote: And duct tape is silver! :wah:

it comes in all colours now!:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

love your avy!:guitarist:guitarist

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 3:48 pm

Betty Boop;1235785 wrote: Those that choose to attempt to make my life hell don't even get the satisfaction of knowing whether they were successful or not. It's more frustrating for them than it is for me.

Its not the satisfaction, its the ones that intimidate you, they think they are better than the rest.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 3:50 pm

Odie;1235787 wrote: Its not the satisfaction, its the ones that intimidate you, they think they are better than the rest.

The same goes for intimidation Odie, I wouldn't give them the pleasure of knowing that they had intimidated me. I can't be bothered to waste my energy on such people. It's never worth it.

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 3:52 pm

Betty Boop;1235789 wrote: The same goes for intimidation Odie, I wouldn't give them the pleasure of knowing that they had intimidated me. I can't be bothered to waste my energy on such people. It's never worth it.

intimidation is the worse, there is no reason in this world for it, and yes, I will fight back.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 4:27 pm

Odie;1235791 wrote: intimidation is the worse, there is no reason in this world for it, and yes, I will fight back.

You changed your post, that's not what you said earlier

Do you know what Odie, the edit button is there to correct spelling mistakes, insert the odd word etc to make a post coherent. Not to completely change your mind about what you originally posted.

flopstock · Post by **flopstock** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 6:31 pm

Betty Boop;1235801 wrote: You changed your post, that's not what you said earlier

Do you know what Odie, the edit button is there to correct spelling mistakes, insert the odd word etc to make a post coherent. Not to completely change your mind about what you originally posted.

Good luck here. I learned a long time ago to quote or else risk losing what others had actually said that I was replying to.:rolleyes:

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 6:39 pm

Some of us make comments on some or other poster, or sometimes choose not to make comments and go to the beach, or even to make comments then go to the beach.

Others choose to start new threads making comments on the people who made comments, or didn't make comments or on the fact that comments were made at all or might should not have been made or anything in between.

This is an open forum, where, within the TOS limitations we have free speech or free silence. Moderately or immoderately.

Or we can just go to the beach.

:sneaky:

flopstock · Post by **flopstock** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 6:41 pm

AussiePam;1235839 wrote: Some of us make comments on some or other poster, or sometimes choose not to make comments and go to the beach, or even to make comments then go to the beach.

Others choose to start new threads making comments on the people who made comments, or didn't make comments or on the fact that comments were made at all or might should not have been made or anything in between.

This is an open forum, where, within the TOS limitations we have free speech or free silence. Moderately or immoderately.

Or we can just go to the beach.

:sneaky:

Do you really have a beach that close by? I have a YMCA that I have to ride my bike two miles to get to, when I want to try and miss a large group of posts..

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 6:44 pm

flopstock;1235840 wrote: Do you really have a beach that close by? I have a YMCA that I have to ride my bike two miles to get to, when I want to try and miss a large group of posts..

It's actually about 15 mins drive, Floppy - but it's a nice beach. Not a surf beach actually, but good swimming. I'm not swimming there yet though as we're still in winter, at least technically, and the water is a bit nippy. On a bike, yours probably takes you about the same time. Do continue to steer away from the posts, or at least wear a helmet... :sneaky:

Post by **Betty Boop** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 1:54 am

flopstock;1235838 wrote: Good luck here. I learned a long time ago to quote or else risk losing what others had actually said that I was replying to.:rolleyes:

I know, might as well talk to myself

And yes, I will start doing that too.

Can't help but think that in the real world you wouldn't be able to backtrack quite so easily.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 2:00 am

AussiePam;1235841 wrote: It's actually about 15 mins drive, Floppy - but it's a nice beach. Not a surf beach actually, but good swimming. I'm not swimming there yet though as we're still in winter, at least technically, and the water is a bit nippy. On a bike, yours probably takes you about the same time. Do continue to steer away from the posts, or at least wear a helmet... :sneaky:

I can be at a beach within a two minute walk, although pebbles don't make great sandcastles for some reason.

Sandcastle facilities are a ten minute drive away and well worth the effort.

Both my beaches have the best view of the biggest sandcastle designed by a giant, St Michael's Mount

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 2:20 am

WOW, Betty!! That is some sandcastle!!! Nice part of the country.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 2:42 am

AussiePam;1235939 wrote: WOW, Betty!! That is some sandcastle!!! Nice part of the country.

I know, I even have a view of that mount from my house, it's beautiful each and every morning. I think we forget to appreciate what we have here. People still live over on the tiny island, in the village beneath the castle and a family currently lives within part of the castle. The rest of the castle is open to visitors if you can manage the steep climb up and cope with the height :wah:

This summer for the first time ever I went into the gardens that are behind the castle and wow, they are fantastic, steep and full of sub-tropical plants, I'm amazed they can survive with the amount of sea spray that they must endure each winter.

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 4:00 am

They're probably sheltered from the elements and enjoying a sub-tropical environment.

There is a sheltered sub-tropical environment on the Isle of Wight at Ventnor. The cliffs protect the area from wind and rain, so it stays a little suntrap. There is a Botanical Garden there with a variety of temperate, sub- tropical and exotic plants, shrubs and trees.

Ventnor Botanical Gardens pictures from flowers photos on webshots

PS I can't see that Odie did anything wrong. Why the big fuss?

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 5:32 am

[quote=Betty Boop;1235616]When someone or something annoys you, you just can't ignore it?

Usually its because Im right and theyre wrong. It would be an insult to not point that out to them so they can become enlightened. Its kind of a service I offer. Just call me The Educator.

Its for their own good Boops.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 6:25 am

Rapunzel;1235960 wrote: They're probably sheltered from the elements and enjoying a sub-tropical environment.

There is a sheltered sub-tropical environment on the Isle of Wight at Ventnor. The cliffs protect the area from wind and rain, so it stays a little suntrap. There is a Botanical Garden there with a variety of temperate, sub- tropical and exotic plants, shrubs and trees.

Ventnor Botanical Gardens pictures from flowers photos on webshots

PS I can't see that Odie did anything wrong. Why the big fuss?

No big fuss, just that for around an hour Odie agreed with me, then slipped back in and changed her post to completely the opposite, that's up to her really, but a bit pointless. That's why I compared it to real life, you can't say one thing then change your mind a while later without explaining as to why you may have changed your mind. It actually happens quite a lot around here.

Off to take a look at your link

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 2:08 pm

I'm frequently guilty of rethinking my posts too, BB.... sometimes I don't know what I think till I hear what I say, then I change my mind... maybe it's part of being blonde. Is Odie blonde too? Of course, while I really do appreciate logic, and am quite able to construct a logical and even valid argument, real life is often just not like that. I find it perfectly possible to hold two totally conflicting views at the same time*.

Would some kind person please euthanase Nomad's unbearably hyperactive moggie - or at least shoot it with a tranqullising dart OR even give it a bowl of relaxing champagne.

*This is a particularly female skill of course. We girls can multitask!!

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 3:19 pm

Betty Boop;1235995 wrote: No big fuss, just that for around an hour Odie agreed with me, then slipped back in and changed her post to completely the opposite, that's up to her really, but a bit pointless. That's why I compared it to real life, you can't say one thing then change your mind a while later without explaining as to why you may have changed your mind. It actually happens quite a lot around here.

Off to take a look at your link

I did agree with you on not letting anyone intimidate you and just walk away.......as you said, they get no satisfaction that way.

.....then someone started intimating me again, and I had to once again go back and be bad!:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

I just cannot ignore folks who are continually at me at me for no reason.

and yes, Pam I'm blonde.....but its not real, but its mine!:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 3:51 pm

Maybe we should start a new thread, Odie. Intimidation 101

I've always wanted to be able to put the fear of the Good Lord into people with a single glance. One icy steely stare of my dark blue eyes would freeze them into snivelling silence. One cool calm wiggle of my little finger would make them quake with terror. One word from my perfectly pink lips and they have soiled their undergarments. One typed frowning emoticon and they are gnawing their keyboards and euthanasing their CPU.

How can I learn this? I try and look fierce and people make me a cup of tea. I do the long cool stare thing, and they dissolve into helpless laughter. I wiggle my little finger and they burst into song. I tap out a keyboard suggestion that some clueless loser drongo euthanases his/her sorry dupa forthwith and for my attempt at advanced intimidation score a :-4 Life is so unfair!! I'm bad bad bad.

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 4:17 pm

AussiePam;1236212 wrote: Maybe we should start a new thread, Odie. Intimidation 101

I've always wanted to be able to put the fear of the Good Lord into people with a single glance. One icy steely stare of my dark blue eyes would freeze them into snivelling silence. One cool calm wiggle of my little finger would make them quake with terror. One word from my perfectly pink lips and they have soiled their undergarments. One typed frowning emoticon and they are gnawing their keyboards and euthanasing their CPU.

How can I learn this? I try and look fierce and people make me a cup of tea. I do the long cool stare thing, and they dissolve into helpless laughter. I wiggle my little finger and they burst into song. I tap out a keyboard suggestion that some clueless loser drongo euthanases his/her sorry dupa forthwith and for my attempt at advanced intimidation score a :-4 Life is so unfair!! I'm bad bad bad.

I can put the fear there with my eyes, but my bark is always worse than my bite.....as it sucks the life out of me when people are just plain mean, nasty or snide smart-ass remarks here and there.....life is unfair....

but.....in computer land...they cannot see my eyes.

and if they did, they're may just be tears there.......and even then if they could see the tears, they wouldn't give a rats ass.

your not bad Pam, your just taking a stand for what you believe in.

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Tue Sep 01, 2009 12:13 pm

spot;1235751 wrote: Retrospective! I demand it has to be retrospective!

Completely reasonable I think, shame they all ignored you Spot :yh_rotfl

Post by **spot** » Tue Sep 01, 2009 12:18 pm

Imladris;1236564 wrote: Completely reasonable I think, shame they all ignored you Spot :yh_rotfl
Some people have innate good sense!

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Tue Sep 01, 2009 12:19 pm

spot;1236567 wrote: Some people have innate good sense!

....... and then there's me

Post by **spot** » Tue Sep 01, 2009 12:24 pm

Imladris;1236568 wrote: ....... and then there's me

You're a mindreader.