What do you think of purity balls?

Mariposa Traicionera · Sun Aug 30, 2009 5:49 pm

That young girls attend with their fathers, pledging purity? I think it's sick and misogynistic.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 5:57 pm

Why? I mean, sure, the boys should be more concerned about purity & balls, but what's the harm?

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 6:06 pm

What exactly is a purity ball?

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 6:06 pm

Mariposa Traicionera;1235812 wrote: That young girls attend with their fathers, pledging purity? I think it's sick and misogynistic.

I think there's a lot of dads out there who'd rather like to lock their daughters up in convents, or at very least veil them from head to foot, until they can arrange a marriage for them - thereby saving innocent young men a lot of evil temptation, and dads late nights waiting by the door with a shotgun. Getting them to go to a purity ball is much less drastic for everyone - and wink wink.. what dad doesn't know, dad doesn't know.. if ya know what I mean.. and he's happy.. and might buy you a red car :sneaky:

Mariposa Traicionera · Sun Aug 30, 2009 6:09 pm

Kathy Ellen;1235817 wrote: What exactly is a purity ball?I can't post links yet, so hopefully this isn't too much like cheating.

moderateleft dot com/?p=4505

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 6:11 pm

Kathy Ellen;1235817 wrote: What exactly is a purity ball?

G'day Kathy - Maybe it's a southern thing. I've read about them.. You go to a debutante type dance, pledge to stay a virgin till you marry, get a ring to remind you or something... you substitute this ring for a wedding ring, I think, in due course.. or if your fingers swell too much during teen pregnancy if you've really messed up... (your dad will wallop you) ... and all is cool.

We don't of course have such things in evil Australia - but we don't have a Bible Belt here either, so I suspect we are all born non-virgin. Well mostly, not me of course. I'm pure by nature... :-6

Hi Mariposa, and welcome to Forum Garden. I think I did see an intro thread, I'll go read it...

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 6:17 pm

Mariposa Traicionera;1235819 wrote: I can't post links yet, so hopefully this isn't too much like cheating.

moderateleft dot com/?p=4505
Send me a pm. I'll post it for ya.

Kathy, a purity ball is a party where dads & daughters celebrate the girl's promise to not have sex until marriage. Right, Mel?

eta: :yh_doh

http://moderateleft.com/?p=4505

hoppy · Post by **hoppy** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 6:19 pm

Whew. For a minute there I thought it was a chastity belt for boys.

Mariposa Traicionera · Sun Aug 30, 2009 6:22 pm

hoppy;1235825 wrote: Whew. For a minute there I thought it was a chastity belt for boys.

I actually saw a picture of a male chastity belt somewhere out there on the interwebs.

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 6:22 pm

Thanks everyone...I understand now. I don't know how I feel about this type of behavior....I'll have to read Mel's link......

As 'Areknowd' would say......I'll be baaaaakkkkk:driving:

Pam, you are way too funny, as usual:yh_rotfl:wah:

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 6:24 pm

Here's one tilted the other way, so we don't capsize.

FatherDaughterPurityBall

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 6:24 pm

Mariposa Traicionera;1235827 wrote: I actually saw a picture of a male chastity belt somewhere out there on the interwebs.

If these were compulsory, there would be no need for Chastity Balls !!!

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 6:54 pm

OMG

..... I just read the article about the purity balls.

This attitude of a certain type of man who always wants to control every aspect of a woman's life is so sickening to me.

I feel so sorry for the females that are involved with these men.

Yes, we do need to teach our children morals, values, and all the ways to protect themselves against predators and evils of the world...but this, to me, is not the way to do it.

Sickening to me:mad:

I always feel that you can only do your best to help your children....Give them the tools to become a decent, loving, productive human being, and you've done your job:-6

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 6:59 pm

Sexist...how come there's no mom/son purity balls? Actually I think if you sit down with your preteen & explain the ins & outs of sex (no pun intended) and be truthful with them that would be more helpful then the fantasy of these balls for the daughter to be a virgin till she gets married. I also noticed most of the sponsors are southern baptists & Ace Hardware? Good thing I go to True Value:wah:

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 7:17 pm

qsducks;1235845 wrote: Sexist...how come there's no mom/son purity balls? The ring would have to be too large for the son's finger, and carry an electrical charge. :sneaky:

qsducks wrote: Actually I think if you sit down with your preteen & explain the ins & outs of sex (no pun intended) and be truthful with them that would be more helpful then the fantasy of these balls for the daughter to be a virgin till she gets married. I also noticed most of the sponsors are southern baptists & Ace Hardware? Good thing I go to True Value:wah:Another pun?

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 7:22 pm

Kathy Ellen;1235843 wrote: Give them the tools to become a decent, loving, re-productive human being

Sorry Kathy. Ya know I love you, :-4 - but I can't resist temptation ever... :sneaky: and yet... and yet.. I'm still pretty pure, well pure-ish. OK I'm down and durrrrrty... :yh_rotfl

Mariposa Traicionera · Sun Aug 30, 2009 7:22 pm

Accountable;1235848 wrote: The ring would have to be too large for the son's finger, and carry an electrical charge. :sneaky:

:wah:

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 7:24 pm

I thought those rings were beloved of some parts of the gay male community?????? Well maybe not with an electric shock, but gently vibrating, why not??!!

Just googled such rings... Some are rechargeable. Think the pics have put me off my lunch. Anyway, lunchtime is over...

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 7:25 pm

Kathy Ellen;1235843 wrote: OMG

..... I just read the article about the purity balls.

This attitude of a certain type of man who always wants to control every aspect of a woman's life is so sickening to me.

I feel so sorry for the females that are involved with these men.

Yes, we do need to teach our children morals, values, and all the ways to protect themselves against predators and evils of the world...but this, to me, is not the way to do it.

Sickening to me:mad:

I always feel that you can only do your best to help your children....Give them the tools to become a decent, loving, productive human being, and you've done your job:-6

I talked to my daughter's years ago about the virginity thing and trying to be realistic since one had a boyfriend.... to please if you are going to have sex use your head & go get on the pill...Planned Parenthood is confidential, you don't need my permission, etc.....they have very good facilities & you can pay cash, etc. I don't condone it but she is an adult...and I know she's responsible enough to not get preggars.

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 7:27 pm

AussiePam;1235851 wrote: Sorry Kathy. Ya know I love you, :-4 - but I can't resist temptation ever... :sneaky: and yet... and yet.. I'm still pretty pure, well pure-ish. OK I'm down and durrrrrty... :yh_rotfl

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl Yes Pam:-6

You are a pure soul and a fun, down and durrrrty gull :wah::D

Hey...anyone who can swim in the sea in freezing, cold, stormy weather is certainly a person who can't resist temptation:wah:;)

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 7:31 pm

Kathy Ellen;1235855 wrote: :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl Yes Pam:-6

You are a pure soul and a fun, down and durrrrty gull :wah::D

Hey...anyone who can swim in the sea in freezing, cold, stormy weather is certainly a person who can't resist temptation:wah:;)

Do you mean she's pure as the driven sand?:wah:

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 7:31 pm

Thing in the newspaper here the other day about talking to your kids about sex. Kids who are talked too apparently have sex much later than those not talked to... Sort of six or seven months later. Lock up all adolescents, I say!!! (In separate cages)

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 7:33 pm

qsducks;1235857 wrote: Do you mean she's pure as the driven sand?:wah:

I'm gonna hafta think about that one.. might require mudwrasslin some manners into you Ducky... Kathy might run the book... Then we'll all go to Klees. Coming, Mariposa?!!

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 7:33 pm

qsducks;1235854 wrote: I talked to my daughter's years ago about the virginity thing and trying to be realistic since one had a boyfriend.... to please if you are going to have sex use your head & go get on the pill...Planned Parenthood is confidential, you don't need my permission, etc.....they have very good facilities & you can pay cash, etc. I don't condone it but she is an adult...and I know she's responsible enough to not get preggars.

You're right Ducky. Our children should know that there are alternatives to pregnancies and diseases.

Maybe if they knew this, we might not find newborn babies tossed in dumpsters.

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 7:38 pm

Kathy Ellen;1235860 wrote: You're right Ducky. Our children should know that there are alternatives to pregnancies and diseases.

Maybe if they knew this, we might not find newborn babies tossed in dumpsters.

Honestly, I don't know what the answer is. It certainly isn't though hiding one's head in the sand. Kids reach puberty early and many of them will have sex, whether they are informed, not informed, pledged or not. Reckon it's about being open with your kids from the start - no embarrassing little chats when they turn 12. They should grow up naturally with the facts of life, know where the family stands on morals, ethics etc, and know they are loved and that there is nothing they can't discuss in confidence if necessary without judgmental parental horror. If they do get into trouble of any kind, there are options, and there is help and loving support. The article I referred to before was about an increase in young people of sexually transmitted infections, rather than pregnancy. We live in the real world. Our children will be exposed to strangers, sex, drugs and rock and roll. Also alcohol and driving. No wonder parents get grey hair.

NOW I'm gonna go get something to eat... see yall later.

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 7:43 pm

Kathy Ellen;1235860 wrote: You're right Ducky. Our children should know that there are alternatives to pregnancies and diseases.

Maybe if they knew this, we might not find newborn babies tossed in dumpsters.

If the schools & parents would teach comprehensive sex education in the schools & at home...I would think half the pregnancies in this country would go down. Teaching kids about contraception, etc. would be great but instead we are stuck in the dark ages with the government teaching abstinence only crap & lying about contraception...

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 7:50 pm

AussiePam;1235859 wrote: I'm gonna hafta think about that one.. might require mudwrasslin some manners into you Ducky... Kathy might run the book... Then we'll all go to Klees. Coming, Mariposa?!!

Mudwrasslin.......:-4........Klees......:-4 Did I hear right:D

Be there or square....

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 7:57 pm

Kathy Ellen;1235866 wrote: Mudwrasslin.......:-4........Klees......:-4 Did I hear right:D

Be there or square....

I looked up Klees on the web...yup, good pub food.

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 7:57 pm

This male chastity belt would be OK until it starts to rust.:wah:

Attached files

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 7:59 pm

Lon;1235868 wrote: This male chastity belt would be OK until it starts to rust.:wah:

No need for a jock strap with that contraption:wah:

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 8:28 pm

Lon;1235868 wrote: This male chastity belt would be OK until it starts to rust.:wah:

is it adjustable?:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

mrsK · Post by **mrsK** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 8:52 pm

qsducks;1235863 wrote: If the schools & parents would teach comprehensive sex education in the schools & at home...I would think half the pregnancies in this country would go down. Teaching kids about contraception, etc. would be great but instead we are stuck in the dark ages with the government teaching abstinence only crap & lying about contraception...

You are right Ducks parents should be teaching their children sex education then have it reinforced at school.

Our parents were very liberated & told us all the details from when we were young. I have done the same with our children & the grandchildren.

They need to know & they need to know the correct versions;):-6

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 9:01 pm

mrsK;1235878 wrote: You are right Ducks parents should be teaching their children sex education then have it reinforced at school.

Our parents were very liberated & told us all the details from when we were young. I have done the same with our children & the grandchildren.

They need to know & they need to know the correct versions;):-6

I finally told Quin that no you weren't born out of my arse honey...you came out of the vagina...he was a bit grossed out but he knows now that babies don't come out of the bellybutton or butt:wah:. I also don't want my kids to be picking up info from friends who are just as uninformed....

I think Kathy is right on about these men wanting to control their daughters & wives. Can't imagine being made to promise being a virgin till I get married...unrealistic imo. And I was no virgin when I met hubs....:sneaky:.

mrsK · Post by **mrsK** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 9:08 pm

qsducks;1235883 wrote: I finally told Quin that no you weren't born out of my arse honey...you came out of the vagina...he was a bit grossed out but he knows now that babies don't come out of the bellybutton or butt:wah:. I also don't want my kids to be picking up info from friends who are just as uninformed....

I think Kathy is right on about these men wanting to control their daughters & wives. Can't imagine being made to promise being a virgin till I get married...unrealistic imo. And I was no virgin when I met hubs....:sneaky:.
They get over grossed out:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

I don't like the control thing either,no man has the right to control daughter or wife.

Or anyone for that matter:-5

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 9:17 pm

mrsK;1235888 wrote: They get over grossed out:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

I don't like the control thing either,no man has the right to control daughter or wife.

Or anyone for that matter:-5

I agree Heather, no man has the right to control his daughter or wife or anyone else.

and I have seen woman do the same, controlling their husbands like they are puppets!:-5:-5

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 9:22 pm

mrsK;1235888 wrote: They get over grossed out:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

I don't like the control thing either,no man has the right to control daughter or wife.

Or anyone for that matter:-5

Did you read the entire article? They even had testimonies. Girls as young as 10yrs are being drawn into this crap. Entirely too young...of course they want to please daddy but what happens when they turn 14 or older & get really attracted to boys? Teens are curious & they will experiment...make no mistake about that. The purity thing will go right out the window. And of course, being misinformed about sex, end up either with a std or preggars. Of course, what really pissed me off was the mom's are encouraged not to show up..wtf? why? Give me a break, is daddy going to tell their teen daughter's what getting your period means? Most likely not. My hubs won't even buy pads/tampons for my girls:wah:...I know it's a guy thing. IMO, I don't see the big deal...Christ, I buy his underwear.:wah:

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 10:49 pm

It's a load of crap. That's exactly how I feel about it.

Until you start slapping chastity belts on GUYS don't you even think about bogging down your GIRLS with that archaic, growth stunting BS. How DARE any man put that much guilt onto his daughter! Sex is natural and other people's morals aside, we all have to grow up sometime and sex is part of that or at least should be. I remember we talked about this on here before and I am just as incensed now as I was then.

ETA: Mariposa, your screen name is quite pretty. What does Traicionera mean?

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 11:03 pm

RedGlitter;1235910 wrote: It's a load of crap. That's exactly how I feel about it.

Until you start slapping chastity belts on GUYS don't you even think about bogging down your GIRLS with that archaic, growth stunting BS. How DARE any man put that much guilt onto his daughter! Sex is natural and other people's morals aside, we all have to grow up sometime and sex is part of that or at least should be. I remember we talked about this on here before and I am just as incensed now as I was then.

ETA: Mariposa, your screen name is quite pretty. What does Traicionera mean?

I don't like it because it clearly discriminates against girls and boys are off scot free....I also don't understand why mother's are not encouraged to go to these events...to me it smacks of complete control by men and I mean I think men are sponsoring these purity balls. I remember when we moved into our house, our twin neighbors house lived a couple who were 100% Baptist...the wife was cool, guess she had seen a lot in life but the hubs was a jerk..."I do not approve of your radio playing rock & junk he would say"...we laughed him off...free speech dude, etc. Oh, yes, he didn't like us at all:wah:...we were younger and not married...he didn't approve of us living in sin...we also had a baby:wah:...he completely ignored us but his wife was very nice & always said hello, etc. hows the baby & she even thought my hubs was good looking:wah:

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 11:30 pm

I agree, Ducks. It puts all the responsibility onto the girl while letting the boys play- well who are they gonna find to play with then? "Bad girls." Which only reinforces the Madonna/Whore phenomenon. I didn't make that up, it really exists.

I read once that these balls encourage daughters to "give their virginity to their fathers to hold onto for them." Gah! I don't know about you but the less my dad knew about my sex life the far better it was for all concerned.

Good question- why no moms? The father is supposed to serve as the "man in his daughter's life" until he is replaced by a husband. How gross is that? It just make sme shudder to think that they try and blow this pap off as "respecting girls" when all it is is keeping them down and making them feel bad should they actually have sex before marriage. I guess if you want your girl to get married at fifteen, press on!

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 12:11 am

RedGlitter;1235913 wrote: I agree, Ducks. It puts all the responsibility onto the girl while letting the boys play- well who are they gonna find to play with then? "Bad girls." Which only reinforces the Madonna/Whore phenomenon. I didn't make that up, it really exists.

I read once that these balls encourage daughters to "give their virginity to their fathers to hold onto for them." Gah! I don't know about you but the less my dad knew about my sex life the far better it was for all concerned.

Good question- why no moms? The father is supposed to serve as the "man in his daughter's life" until he is replaced by a husband. How gross is that? It just make sme shudder to think that they try and blow this pap off as "respecting girls" when all it is is keeping them down and making them feel bad should they actually have sex before marriage. I guess if you want your girl to get married at fifteen, press on!

That's the bit I particularly remember too! I always felt it was a bit grubby, incestuous sounding... Fathers taking an inappropriate interest in their daughter's sexuality, and maybe daughters showing an unhealthy eagerness to pleasure dad. Yucksville, anyway. The relationship of course excludes mother. She'd make this a threesome... ERK !!!

PS On the newspaper report here, the ages given for the average teen first sex, depending on whether they'd been talked to or not about the birds and the bees... was 14.7 and 15.something, respectively. Kids will be kids. Lock up the boys, I say, and the girls will be absolutely fine. Oh and lock up the fathers too, if they show too much prurient interest in their daughter's personal private life. It's women's business anyway.. and mum and daughter should be communing.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 1:41 am

RedGlitter;1235913 wrote: The father is supposed to serve as the "man in his daughter's life" until he is replaced by a husband.

That's an interesting quote. Keep the women down hey, teach them that they 'need' a man at all times throughout their lives. Of course it's normal for every woman to 'belong' to a man at all times :rolleyes:

farmer giles · Post by **farmer giles** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 2:00 am

i scratch them

poor itchy what :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 2:03 am

Pam, that's what I was thinking to, it smacks of something smarmy between father and daughter. I know there are those who feel that it's just a father taking an interest in his daughter's wellbeing but a healthy (eventual) sex life and a need to map out one's own values for oneself should be part of that wellbeing, IMO.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 2:06 am

Betty Boop;1235927 wrote: That's an interesting quote. Keep the women down hey, teach them that they 'need' a man at all times throughout their lives. Of course it's normal for every woman to 'belong' to a man at all times :rolleyes:

Right, it's like the girl goes from her father's house straight to her husband's house. I think asking or even expecting a girl or woman to sit on it until Prince Charming rides along is not only expecting too much of a healthy human being, but I think it spits in the face of the women (and some men) who have been striving for decades for sexual equality.

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 2:12 am

it's like the girl goes from her father's house straight to her husband's house

More evidence that Christian fundamentalists aren't really any different to Muslim fundamentalists.

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 2:13 am

If we need any evidence, Clodhopper. Fundamentalism is fundamentalism. Constructed by men, of course fundamentalist religions demonise female sexuality.

The old earth mother religions were/ are way too confronting. And too uncomfortable for most men.. Ain't that the truth, Red!! Daemonic is demonic. Pass the wine....

Post by **Betty Boop** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 2:18 am

RedGlitter;1235933 wrote: Right, it's like the girl goes from her father's house straight to her husband's house. I think asking or even expecting a girl or woman to sit on it until Prince Charming rides along is not only expecting too much of a healthy human being, but I think it spits in the face of the women (and some men) who have been striving for decades for sexual equality.

My point exactly. It also sucks a little of mass indoctrination of young women, the cover is the virginity and holding on to it. The real matter here is of control, men still have control and are exercising it over their daughters. In a generation they will have their meek obeying women back in their place, at the kitchen sink.

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 2:21 am

Shrug. I gather one of the reasons female circumcision still goes on is that the mothers insist: If men create it, all too many women will enforce it...

Don't ask me. I don't understand it either.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 2:22 am

Betty Boop;1235938 wrote: My point exactly. It also sucks a little of mass indoctrination of young women, the cover is the virginity and holding on to it. The real matter here is of control, men still have control and are exercising it over their daughters. In a generation they will have their meek obeying women back in their place, at the kitchen sink.

I agree, Betty. It's all about control.

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 2:25 am

Virginity is grossly overrated.

I wonder how much of the cult of virginity is a reflection of male inadequacy. The terror that a man's performance might be judged wanting if a woman has anything at all to compare it with. Most men, I think, don't realise that good sex, for a woman, depends of the depth of a loving relationship as much as the depth of his manly thrust... :sneaky: