Life after love...

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Tue Dec 21, 2004 8:50 pm

I am so sorry for what you are going through. The way he left does not mean you were too controlling. It was just another excuse for his leaving. It was a very chickenshit way for him to leave, by the way. It sounds as if he is stringing you along. Why not? He needs money for an emergency, your mom gives it to him. He wants the safety of knowing he can come back to you if "nothing better comes along". Personally, I'd stop calling and e mailing. For one, he no longer has that security. Work on making yourself happy. Do the things you enjoy. Good luck to you.

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 3:53 pm

tmbsgrl wrote: Hi Well i went through the same thing about 3 years ago. I went to work & my Ex of 4 years left me while i was there. I came home to all his crap gone. But he left me no letter or explaination. He just left. He had the nreve to call the next day and ask me if i was ok. I was too hurt and confused to say or do anything. He also told me he wanted to be friends. We tried. I moved into a mutal friends house 1 week later he got kicked out of his mom's and moved in there. We talked & all that. He was seeing someone ALREADY! ( 2 weeks later) It was really hard for me to witness that because like you even though ghe hurt me so bad i still loved him. I was using friendship to get him back. It was working and for a little while and then i wised up and thought about him doing it again when ever he feels like it. I couldn't put myself through that again. So i moved out and started hanging out with all my friends trying to get over him. It was a rough road but somehow i managed. I met my fiancee (current) and moved 2ooo miles away! I never want to see him nor talk to him again. I learned that by being friends with someone that you were involved with just prolongs the hurt feelings. He felt like no matter what happened he could always come back to me and i would welcome him with open arms. You have to put that to a stop because he will walk all over you and take advantage of you if he knows he can. Try to move on the best you can. Do whatever nakes you happy. Go out and have fun! When a love song comes on the radio turn it off and listen to a happy song. I hope everything works out for you the way they worked out for me. i have a wonderful fiancee and a beautiful daughter! Good luck!

Just remember girls..... They never change. They are whwt they are what they are.....no matter who they are with.

Susie;) Just try to remember girls...... They are what they are what they are. They never change no matter who they are with. They are caleed USERS. Be glad they are gone. Enjoy your lives.

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Dec 23, 2004 2:25 pm

Well Hon I can imagine the pain you are going through and the time of year has to be H***. I am sorry to hear of it. I think like weeded said people don't change. Sooo my suggestion to you move on, use the positive energy and feelings to move forward and let him go. On a whole people don't change a lot, and if he initiated the end of your relationship he likely isn't one to turn it around. I hope that isn't coming across as cold, but I firmly believe in the saying "don't let em see you hurt"

I am wrapping up a 1.5 year battle filled divorce that ended a 17 year marriage. I was horrified to be on my own. But in the end with patience and faith in my self I gave got to where I can hold my head up and be proud of my accomplishments. New house, new job, new boyfriend, it has been a heck of a rocky road but I made it. Looking back at the ex, it looks like I got out just in the nick of time, as I go upward with my life he spirals downward. Jobless, indebt, and in bad health. I don't wish it on anyone and I pity him, but you do make your own happiness.

Cheers girl.

Minks

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Thu Sep 08, 2005 3:28 pm

Donutte wrote: Well, I think this was either my first or second post here... Anyway, it's been almost a year since we broke up... I'm not hurt at the thought of him anymore, but more the thought of the break-up... Sorta like I'm not good enough for anyone... It will have been a year this coming Tuesday... The fact that he STILL hasn't paid my mother back, well, is disconcerting... But even she has said forget it... He'll never pay back, and we both know it... I heard maybe 2 months ago (from a friend whose sister is his friend) that he said he missed me... I laughed, made a gagging noise, and told her if he ever says that again, tough sh*t, he had his chance, and he blew it... I will never take him back... But anyway, thanks to all of you who offered words of help, and I apologize that I never replied then... A lot has gone on since then... I actually met some friends from a forum I belonged to before this one (heh, actually a moderator there now), and we had an awesome time... No guys allowed

Ah I'm a nice guy - really!!! Not all us guys are gits who deserve the treatment that they get.

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Thu Sep 08, 2005 3:39 pm

Ahh why thank u. Such kind and wise words.

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Thu Sep 08, 2005 3:45 pm

Oh by the way as u are a newbie to FG, you may like to find the fact-file thread on FG members that I created. You may be able to get to know us a little better that way.

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Thu Sep 08, 2005 3:53 pm

I brought the fact file up to the top of new posts for ya. You should be able to see it hopefully.

orangesox1 · Post by **orangesox1** » Thu Sep 08, 2005 4:45 pm

Life after breaking up can be very difficult as we have become dependant on the person that has left or we have left. We were so used to having someone around us that when that person is no longer there we feel lonley, just waking up to have no partner in the house will create lonliness which often results in depression, and what do you do in an evening with no one there to talk to?

Join a forum, get involved in something that intrests you, make plans for Friday and Saturday night during the week, that way when Friday and Saturday come around your not at home thinking you should be out some where. A really important step is to start exercising and focus on being healthy and focus on the great person you are and can be.

Treat your self often because your worth it.

These are some of the things that keep me going. I live with five teenagers 3 are mine and two student borders, but I still miss the company of a partner.

If you are going to take anti depressants you need to do it properly or they won't work, so go talk to your Dr and start looking at how you can bring out the best in yourself, and be committed to improving your life.

I hope this helps you to focus on what important in life, and that is you.

orangesox1 · Post by **orangesox1** » Thu Sep 08, 2005 5:02 pm

Donutte wrote: Thank you for your kind words

It's been almost a year now; I joined many forums in that time (including this one)... Became really good friends with a certain group, and we met... And am finding so many interesting people here now... I can't imagine having kids all by myself; I commend you for that...

Well I am thankfull for all of them as they keep me focused, I also have three dogs and a cat that entertain me as well.

But I think it is really important to make plans to do things , including having friends over for a small party or dinner. That always inspires me to go out and tidy the garden up or paint another room in the house.