On marriage

hoppy · Post by **hoppy** » Thu Sep 10, 2009 3:48 am

My wife and I have the secrets to making a marriage last...

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays. I go Fridays.

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida, mine is in NY.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"

So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!", so I bought her an electric chair.

My wife told me the car wasn't running well, there was water in the carburetor. When I asked where the car was, she told me "In the lake."

My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now!

She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off...

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"

cars · Post by **cars** » Thu Sep 10, 2009 5:30 am

:wah::D:p

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Thu Sep 10, 2009 6:17 am

:eek::yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

shelbell · Post by **shelbell** » Thu Sep 10, 2009 12:55 pm

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Thu Sep 10, 2009 1:10 pm

hoppy;1240229 wrote: My wife and I have the secrets to making a marriage last...

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays. I go Fridays.

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida, mine is in NY.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"

So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!", so I bought her an electric chair.

My wife told me the car wasn't running well, there was water in the carburetor. When I asked where the car was, she told me "In the lake."

My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now!

She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off...

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!" :wah:

My theory for a happy marraige is spontaneous sex. For example, to keep our marraige exciting , Mr O often grabs me, tears my clothes off and takes me from behind. The other diners in the resturant complain but what the heck?

hoppy · Post by **hoppy** » Thu Sep 10, 2009 4:25 pm

oscar;1240385 wrote: :wah:

My theory for a happy marraige is spontaneous sex. For example, to keep our marraige exciting , Mr O often grabs me, tears my clothes off and takes me from behind. The other diners in the resturant complain but what the heck?

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Thu Sep 10, 2009 6:52 pm

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl You come up with good ones Hoppy..

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Thu Sep 10, 2009 6:55 pm

oscar;1240385 wrote: :wah:

My theory for a happy marraige is spontaneous sex. For example, to keep our marraige exciting , Mr O often grabs me, tears my clothes off and takes me from behind. The other diners in the resturant complain but what the heck?

have one for me!:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl