One year ago today....................

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 4:21 am

Is when my life completely changed forever. It was like any normal work day, my husband and I went off to our jobs, the kids totted off to school. When I got home from work, I made dinner for the kids, but my husband had not come home yet. I thought he was working overtime, and he had e-mailed me at work to tell me he didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t feel well and was stopping at the drug store after work for some eye drops. The hours slowly ticked by, and by 8 oÃ¢â‚¬â„¢clock I was frantic, and started calling all his friends to ask if he had stopped by. Then by nine I started calling the hospitals, and found him on the second call, where he had been admitted five hours earlier. He had collapsed at the drug store, and fell down, and hit his head on the tile floor of the store-unknown assessment of the damage at that time.

It was discovered he had a cerebral hemorrhage, and would have to be shipped to a hospital downtown, when a bed became available. Over 48 hours later, as he lay at the brink of death, they finally shipped him downtown-telling me they did not think he would survive the trip. He was in ICU for 28 days, and when he had survived all of this, they told me they could not be certain if he would fully recover his mental abilities.

The 100 days in the nursing home came next, and I visited him every single day. At the end of that time they wanted him to stay, saying he would never get much better, but I made them remove the last of the tubes he had and took him home. He has slowly recovered to be able to eat by himself, and maneuver around the bottom floor of the house in a wheelchair. I have a wonderful nurseÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s aide come in everyday so I can go to work. My husband can talk some, but the words become jumbled because his mind has only partially recovered. He knows who I am, but can never say my name again. When he is upset, he is my two-year old in a manÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s body, and needs the attention a youngster must have. But when I come home from work, he smiles for me at least once a day, and is happy that I am there, and that he is home.

God miraculously saved my husband's life, he survived the ordeal. I ask you to pray for him, that he will fully recover one day, and be the intelligent, loving man he once was. And that I have the patience to be the nurse and companion that he needs during this time. And I thank you all for your patience when I buzz around the boards, and when I make my off the wall remarks, it is sometimes in response to the situation I find myself in. FG has been a wonderful outlet for me, and keeps me in tune with the things that lay outside the walls of my home.

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 4:28 am

Wow that's such an amazing story Chonsi. I can imagine how awful you must have felt that day and for the weeks and months afterwards.

My prayers and thoughts are with you, your husband and your family. I've only known u for a short amount of time, but I can easily say that u are one of the most caring, kind and understanding people that I have ever met. I know that I speak for everyone when we say that we love u here!!

Again I wish a speedy and succesful recovery for your husband, and my best wishes to u both. U are a lovely person Chonsi for showing the faith and heart that u have done over the last year, and you should feel proud of all that u have done. :-6

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 5:12 am

My respect and admiration for you is beyond words. You are my hero, Chonsi. Your husband is truly remarkable, to have earned such devotion. I wish all the best and speediest for you as you endure this tough slog.

ubetta · Post by **ubetta** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 5:12 am

I'm so sorry for your troubles. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 5:17 am

Your husband is one lucky man to have you. A lot of people would have left him in the nursing home. You know most of his recovery and progress is because of you.

Your continued love and patience will help him to continue to recover. Good luck to you both.:-6

PurpleChicken · Post by **PurpleChicken** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 5:23 am

Chonsi, thanks for sharing your story. You are an incredibly strong and caring woman and your husband is an incredibly lucky man to have you! Clearly your love and devotion have helped him recover to where he is today.

We are all praying for you and your husband and hope that he does indeed return to normal. With your love and support, anything is possible.

Love to you both

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 6:23 am

your loyalty and love will be rewarded in ways that you could not know now. you're a wonderful lady. :yh_flower :yh_flower :yh_hugs

Honneykit · Post by **Honneykit** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 7:29 am

I can relate so much to you at the age of 38 my mum had a massive stroke, we were told she had a couple of days and that there was no coming back. How wrong could they have been my mum went on to live10 fantastic more years before she was suddenly took from me. But what i remember the most is how her love was always there. I hope you and your husband have a long and happy life together and my thoughts are with you. :-4

Clint · Post by **Clint** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 8:01 am

Consi, Your strength and compassion is a beautiful thing that is only seen rarely in humanity.

Raven · Post by **Raven** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 8:51 am

OH WOW!!

Darling, you have alot on your plate. You have served your marriage vows well. I wonder how many of us would do in your shoes. Our prayers are with you and your husbands continued recovery. Love makes miracles happen. Thank you so much for sharing your story! :-6

NursiePoo · Post by **NursiePoo** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 10:11 am

Chonsi,

I think you are an incredibly strong and loving woman. It is amazing how the Lord gives the strength and grace to endure waaaay beyond what we ever thought we'd be able to endure. I will pray for your husband's continued healing and improvement, and I pray that you will hear him say your name again.

Sue

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 10:26 am

Geez Chonsi - I had no idea what you have been living through. It is a testiment to your love for him and his for you.

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 11:02 am

Far Rider wrote: Saint Chonsi!

God bless you lady! You're an inspiration even though from day to day you may not feel like one.

God's grace is suffiecient.

Your life's a good reminder of that.:yh_flower

Aww CG both you and your husband are blessed, he is blessed to have your love and dedication, and you are blessed with amazing strength and unconditional love. Hunny you deserve a medal.

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 12:13 pm

minks wrote: Aww CG both you and your husband are blessed, he is blessed to have your love and dedication, and you are blessed with amazing strength and unconditional love. Hunny you deserve a medal.

I have to agree. I came on to FG today feeling out-of-sorts and a little irritated at my life. After reading your One Year Ago Today...............hell there isn't a dang thing wrong in my life. Thanks for helping me out of my funk. There are several peope here who been through or are going through very difficult situations and I am reminded that I have not seen one spouse jump ship over a medical situation. My hats off to all the brave men and women who face life's challanges with your kind of strength and love. :-4

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 12:18 pm

nvalleyvee wrote: I have to agree. I came on to FG today feeling out-of-sorts and a little irritated at my life. After reading your One Year Ago Today...............hell there isn't a dang thing wrong in my life. Thanks for helping me out of my funk. There are several peope here who been through or are going through very difficult situations and I am reminded that I have not seen one spouse jump ship over a medical situation. My hats off to all the brave men and women who face life's challanges with your kind of strength and love. :-4

You know something NV, in all our lives there always appears to be "someone worse off than ourselves" but we are all hero's in our own ways. No ones life's strifes are any less significant than anyone elses. Your accomplishments are just as grand as anyone elses NV.

actionfigurestepho · Post by **actionfigurestepho** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 5:29 pm

*hugs* You are an amazing lady and your husband is so lucky to have you loving and caring for him. I'm sure that is what has allowed him to recover as much as he already has. I hope one day he'll be able to communicate with you the way he used to.

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 6:09 pm

You are amazaing also Stepho

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 8:00 pm

Chonsi, I'm so sorry this happened on my birthday a year ago. Your one strong women who has my upmost respect. Your an inspiration to us all. With your love and guidence I'm sure your husband will one day make a full recovery. I can imagine some days are difficult. We are here for you when ever you need support, to vent or to let it all out. Bless you and your husband I will pray for his recovery, and your continued strength during this time... You amazing...:-4 :-4

robinseggs · Post by **robinseggs** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 8:53 pm

I too had no idea about your troubles Chonsi! Everyone here is right--you are a very special person. You have endured sooo much and to never gripe or complain here in the garden is amazing! From now on you vent any time you need to! You've earned it! We are all here for you and I am praying that your husband regains strength and use of muscles thought to be damaged. I truly believe that in the comfortable home environment you are providing him, anything is possible!

Post by **Betty Boop** » Wed Sep 21, 2005 12:19 pm

Well, I have to aggree with all the rest! You are amazing!!:-4

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Wed Sep 21, 2005 4:37 pm

I love you dearly bunnygirl.

cars · Post by **cars** » Thu Sep 22, 2005 2:11 pm

Wow Chonsi, you sure have had more than your share of life's misfortunes!

Everyone here has already said it, & I must agree, you are a very special person. You have endured so much and never complain here in the garden! You are absolutely entitled to vent any time you feel the need to, you've earned it! We are all here for you. You & your Husband are in my thoughts & prayers. Wishing he will one day say your name again! Your continued love & support you're giving him will surely make that happen!

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Sat Sep 19, 2009 2:15 pm

4 years later¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦

It has been 5 years now since my husband became ill. He can now:

Walk with a walker

Be left for an hour or two alone-but beware any cookies and snacks upstairs!

He can read to himself, his old books that he knows well.

He can play solitaire. He watches over my shoulder as I play Hearts on the computer and fusses at the cards I play.

If told enough times, he can remember something that is going to happen-like a doctor visit, or a trip. (takes about 3-6 months to prep him for that, worked this summer)

He can say hi, how are you, remember people he has seen a few times.

He can carry a thought for a sentence or two in conversation. One quirk which he can do, is still throw in a good joke once in awhile. Very high order thinking skill.

Yes, he is still an invalid, and always will be. But he has settled into a nice routine of life, and knows my coming and goings of school and TKD and all. He is unsettled when something goes off schedule-but life does that at times, with a delay at school or a traffic jam and all. Then he reverts to a little boy, and waits at the door, or on the steps outside and waits for me. The words never come out right, Won Ton is a “doggie and the bunnies are “fish. But he has mellowed, he is not recalcitrant like the beginning. He doesn’t throw tantrums anymore, or refuses to get cleaned up.

He is sitting on his bed playing cards now, and knows I am home for the weekend. Life can be challenging, and it is hard to always be in a good mood some days, he picks up on it and it will upset him. He remembers many things, not my name, but he can recall events. I have learned to leave it at that, I do not fuss for it or try anymore. It is locked within the recesses of his mind and heart, so what more could I ask for?

I thank you all my good friends here, who help me through the daily times. Over the five years many emergency situations came up, and you have helped me. Far, who is gone now, helped me a lot with practical matters. (like stoves he cooked in when I was gone 10 minutes and started a fire, and how to unhook that appliance!) You all have calmed my nerves when I was at my wits end many days, and FG is still the refuge for me when I need it. (on my daily basis):-4

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sat Sep 19, 2009 2:26 pm

Wow, what great progress you two have made. Way to go Chonsi :yh_hugs:-4:-4

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Sat Sep 19, 2009 2:29 pm

Bless you both Chonsi he has come so very far in 5 years wonderful. You are a strength and a true inspiration to me daily. You have a heart of Gold and a lust for life and you live it. You are one awesome lady Ms. Chonsi. :-4

almostfamous · Post by **almostfamous** » Sat Sep 19, 2009 2:36 pm

Wow Chonsi ... just wow. I've only just read your initial post and your update is very good to hear. It's amazing the littlest things those of us that are fairly healthy take for granted. You're strength and endurance is admirable.

Though unintended, you gave me a well needed dose of perspective. I haven't been having the best day today and sometimes it truly helps to know what others are going thru so that we aren't so focused on ourselves.

:yh_hugs

pinkchick · Post by **pinkchick** » Sat Sep 19, 2009 2:40 pm

Blessings and love to you both Bunny.

Great progress :-4:-4

shelbell · Post by **shelbell** » Sat Sep 19, 2009 3:04 pm

Amazing Chonsi...you have, by far, more patience and strength than I ever could. Your hubby is so lucky to have you, and you are so lucky to still have him. May God continue to send his blessings on your home. :-4

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Sat Sep 19, 2009 3:20 pm

You ARE amazing Chonsi. Your love and dedication has given your husband a good life filled with peace and love that he would never have gained without you. Your strength and love for him are marvellous to see and such a wonderful thing for us all to aspire to. I pray that he continues to improve and that one day he will surprise you by saying your name. Love and hugs to you both, from one bunny-girl to another. :-4:-4

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Sat Sep 19, 2009 3:24 pm

Big hugs to a very special lady :-4

Love u Chonsi :-4

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sat Sep 19, 2009 3:34 pm

May you have the strength to carry on. :-4

Kindle · Post by **Kindle** » Sat Sep 19, 2009 3:52 pm

What a wonderful blessing you have shared with us. God is indeed good and does answer prayers. I pray that you will continue in your faith and that His peace continues to comfort and lead you.

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Sat Sep 19, 2009 3:59 pm

chonsigirl;1244051 wrote: 4 years later¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦

It has been 5 years now since my husband became ill. He can now:

Walk with a walker

Be left for an hour or two alone-but beware any cookies and snacks upstairs!

He can read to himself, his old books that he knows well.

He can play solitaire. He watches over my shoulder as I play Hearts on the computer and fusses at the cards I play.

If told enough times, he can remember something that is going to happen-like a doctor visit, or a trip. (takes about 3-6 months to prep him for that, worked this summer)

He can say hi, how are you, remember people he has seen a few times.

He can carry a thought for a sentence or two in conversation. One quirk which he can do, is still throw in a good joke once in awhile. Very high order thinking skill.

Yes, he is still an invalid, and always will be. But he has settled into a nice routine of life, and knows my coming and goings of school and TKD and all. He is unsettled when something goes off schedule-but life does that at times, with a delay at school or a traffic jam and all. Then he reverts to a little boy, and waits at the door, or on the steps outside and waits for me. The words never come out right, Won Ton is a “doggie and the bunnies are “fish. But he has mellowed, he is not recalcitrant like the beginning. He doesn’t throw tantrums anymore, or refuses to get cleaned up.

He is sitting on his bed playing cards now, and knows I am home for the weekend. Life can be challenging, and it is hard to always be in a good mood some days, he picks up on it and it will upset him. He remembers many things, not my name, but he can recall events. I have learned to leave it at that, I do not fuss for it or try anymore. It is locked within the recesses of his mind and heart, so what more could I ask for?

I thank you all my good friends here, who help me through the daily times. Over the five years many emergency situations came up, and you have helped me. Far, who is gone now, helped me a lot with practical matters. (like stoves he cooked in when I was gone 10 minutes and started a fire, and how to unhook that appliance!) You all have calmed my nerves when I was at my wits end many days, and FG is still the refuge for me when I need it. (on my daily basis):-4

He is so lucky to have you. :-4

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Sat Sep 19, 2009 4:10 pm

Oh Chonsi....I love you. You are such a wonderful friend...so kind, patient and loving to everyone who meets you.

I am so glad that hubby is doing so well. I can't wait until he says your name.:-4

cars · Post by **cars** » Sat Sep 19, 2009 4:57 pm

chonsigirl;1244051 wrote: 4 years later……………………

It has been 5 years now since my husband became ill. He can now:

Walk with a walker

Be left for an hour or two alone-but beware any cookies and snacks upstairs!

He can read to himself, his old books that he knows well.

He can play solitaire. He watches over my shoulder as I play Hearts on the computer and fusses at the cards I play.

If told enough times, he can remember something that is going to happen-like a doctor visit, or a trip. (takes about 3-6 months to prep him for that, worked this summer)

He can say hi, how are you, remember people he has seen a few times.

He can carry a thought for a sentence or two in conversation. One quirk which he can do, is still throw in a good joke once in awhile. Very high order thinking skill.

Yes, he is still an invalid, and always will be. But he has settled into a nice routine of life, and knows my coming and goings of school and TKD and all. He is unsettled when something goes off schedule-but life does that at times, with a delay at school or a traffic jam and all. Then he reverts to a little boy, and waits at the door, or on the steps outside and waits for me. The words never come out right, Won Ton is a “doggie” and the bunnies are “fish.” But he has mellowed, he is not recalcitrant like the beginning. He doesn’t throw tantrums anymore, or refuses to get cleaned up.

He is sitting on his bed playing cards now, and knows I am home for the weekend. Life can be challenging, and it is hard to always be in a good mood some days, he picks up on it and it will upset him. He remembers many things, not my name, but he can recall events. I have learned to leave it at that, I do not fuss for it or try anymore. It is locked within the recesses of his mind and heart, so what more could I ask for?

I thank you all my good friends here, who help me through the daily times. Over the five years many emergency situations came up, and you have helped me. Far, who is gone now, helped me a lot with practical matters. (like stoves he cooked in when I was gone 10 minutes and started a fire, and how to unhook that appliance!) You all have calmed my nerves when I was at my wits end many days, and FG is still the refuge for me when I need it. (on my daily basis):-4
Chonsi, God certainly does have his chosen "angels" to assist him when he needs it. Obviously, he has chosen you as one of his chosen one's!!! Your husband is the luckiest man in the world, cause he has you as his wife!!!

I believe that one day, he will say your name again, as it should be, and will be, and all will rejoice! :-4

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Sat Sep 19, 2009 5:33 pm

chonsigirl;131072 wrote: Is when my life completely changed forever. It was like any normal work day, my husband and I went off to our jobs, the kids totted off to school. When I got home from work, I made dinner for the kids, but my husband had not come home yet. I thought he was working overtime, and he had e-mailed me at work to tell me he didnÃ¢€™t feel well and was stopping at the drug store after work for some eye drops. The hours slowly ticked by, and by 8 oÃ¢€™clock I was frantic, and started calling all his friends to ask if he had stopped by. Then by nine I started calling the hospitals, and found him on the second call, where he had been admitted five hours earlier. He had collapsed at the drug store, and fell down, and hit his head on the tile floor of the store-unknown assessment of the damage at that time.

It was discovered he had a cerebral hemorrhage, and would have to be shipped to a hospital downtown, when a bed became available. Over 48 hours later, as he lay at the brink of death, they finally shipped him downtown-telling me they did not think he would survive the trip. He was in ICU for 28 days, and when he had survived all of this, they told me they could not be certain if he would fully recover his mental abilities.

The 100 days in the nursing home came next, and I visited him every single day. At the end of that time they wanted him to stay, saying he would never get much better, but I made them remove the last of the tubes he had and took him home. He has slowly recovered to be able to eat by himself, and maneuver around the bottom floor of the house in a wheelchair. I have a wonderful nurseÃ¢€™s aide come in everyday so I can go to work. My husband can talk some, but the words become jumbled because his mind has only partially recovered. He knows who I am, but can never say my name again. When he is upset, he is my two-year old in a manÃ¢€™s body, and needs the attention a youngster must have. But when I come home from work, he smiles for me at least once a day, and is happy that I am there, and that he is home.

God miraculously saved my husband's life, he survived the ordeal. I ask you to pray for him, that he will fully recover one day, and be the intelligent, loving man he once was. And that I have the patience to be the nurse and companion that he needs during this time. And I thank you all for your patience when I buzz around the boards, and when I make my off the wall remarks, it is sometimes in response to the situation I find myself in. FG has been a wonderful outlet for me, and keeps me in tune with the things that lay outside the walls of my home.

awwwwwwww Chonsi, that is such a devastating sad story of everything that took place...how you managed those 100 days in the nursing home and then to be told he would never get any better...You are the one who saved his life.

I will pray as hard as I can for your husband to come home to you the way he was before.

You are his angel, you were the one that was determined, caring, understanding and gave all your time just for him.

It shows just how truly you love him.

(((((((((hugs)))))))

mrsK · Post by **mrsK** » Sat Sep 19, 2009 5:53 pm

:-4:-4 Chons:-4:-4 Love & hugs to both you beautiful people:-4:-4

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Sat Sep 19, 2009 6:55 pm

You've got a heart of gold Chons & your hubby is one lucky dude to have you there for him:-4

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Sat Sep 19, 2009 11:47 pm

Chonsi is truly a remarkable caring, patient lady who's love knows no bounds.

I'm very humbled to know you bunny. :-4

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 1:19 am

He is a very lucky man to have you by his side. People like you make this world a better place.

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 2:12 am

((((((((((((((((((((((( Chonsi )))))))))))))))))))))))))))

You remain an inspiration. Thank you for being you!!!

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 2:36 am

((((GRRRRRRRR)))) :-4

(big ole bear hug)

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 4:00 am

I can only imagine the torment you have went through at times, your dedication is commendable at least! Your husband is indeed a lucky man, to have your endless love:-4

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 4:22 am

I never knew, I knew your husband had been ill but I didn't know the circumstances.

I'm so pleased for you both that he has got as far as he has. My prayers and all good wishes for even more improvement.

:-4:-4 for you both from a truely humbled Immy. xx

lou lou belle · Post by **lou lou belle** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 4:35 am

I have been with my husband since we were teenagers. He is my world.

I am not sure how I would deal with losing him. :-1

I wish you all the best for your future.

I am sure you will draw great strength from your nearest and dearest. :-4