Married Couples....Sleeping Apart

CountryDweller · Post by **CountryDweller** » Fri Sep 09, 2005 3:55 pm

Interesting article I read in a local newspaper, how married couples are opting to sleep apart....even have separate bedrooms. Reasons given-one is a night owl, another an early riser, one likes the room cold, the other likes it too warm, one likes to play on the computer, the other likes watching TV to all hours of the night and felt separate rooms would not disturb the other. The article went on to say that they "get together" occasionally, so no one feels deprived.

Get real here! Would you invest time in a marraige to sleep apart from one another?

What's your opinion?????

Post by **Betty Boop** » Fri Sep 09, 2005 4:01 pm

CountryDweller wrote: Interesting article I read a local newspaper, how married couples are opting to sleep apart....even have separate bedrooms. Reasons given-one is a night owl, another an early riser, one likes the room cold, the other likes it too warm, one likes to play on the computer, the other likes watching TV to all hours of the night and felt separate rooms would not disturb the other. The article went on to say that they "get together" occasionally, so no one feels deprived.

Get real here! Would you invest time in a marraige to sleep apart from one another?

What's your opinion?????

ummmm, wouldn't be my ideal, I've been in a marriage where if he said he was going to bed, I was expected to follow, like a good little girl!! LOL

I would have welcomed a spare room with a bed just for me back then!!

(and a lock on the door!:wah: )

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Fri Sep 09, 2005 4:03 pm

CountryDweller wrote: Interesting article I read a local newspaper, how married couples are opting to sleep apart....even have separate bedrooms. Reasons given-one is a night owl, another an early riser, one likes the room cold, the other likes it too warm, one likes to play on the computer, the other likes watching TV to all hours of the night and felt separate rooms would not disturb the other. The article went on to say that they "get together" occasionally, so no one feels deprived.

Get real here! Would you invest time in a marraige to sleep apart from one another?

What's your opinion?????

Well.....my hubby and I are kind of the same way about our likes and dislikes BUT sleeping apart is sooooooooooo out of the question. We love sleeping together so we find the happy place in our bedroom. We always go to bed together and one of us may get up "later". We always wake together because of our work - except weekends. We did not get married to be room mates! Granted there are many different levels in a marriage, communication, friendship, affection, and just plain being silly together, but none of them matches the closeness of one or both falling asleep in the other's arms. JMO

Post by **Betty Boop** » Fri Sep 09, 2005 4:06 pm

nvalleyvee wrote: Well.....my hubby and I are kind of the same way about our likes and dislikes BUT sleeping apart is sooooooooooo out of the question. We love sleeping together so we find the happy place in our bedroom. We always go to bed together and one of us may get up "later". We always wake together because of our work - except weekends. We did not get married to be room mates! Granted there are many different levels in a marriage, communication, friendship, affection, and just plain being silly together, but none of them matches the closeness of one or both falling asleep in the other's arms. JMO

That makes my marriage all the much sadder, I've had exes with whom I've curled up with to sleep, but never my husband (almost ex), thats sad.

CountryDweller · Post by **CountryDweller** » Fri Sep 09, 2005 4:14 pm

tmbsgrl wrote: That is not my idea of a marriage. If you are sleeping in seperate beds then you shouldn't be together! That is just my opinion.

Couldn't have stated it any better!

Post by **Betty Boop** » Fri Sep 09, 2005 4:15 pm

tmbsgrl wrote: Aww BB I am so sorry. You just need a good man that'll treat you right.

mmmmmmm I'm waiting!!! hehehehe

They're all married!!! aaaaggghhhhh

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Fri Sep 09, 2005 4:20 pm

Betty Boop wrote: That makes my marriage all the much sadder, I've had exes with whom I've curled up with to sleep, but never my husband (almost ex), thats sad.

How sad for you. Have you asked if there is a happy place in bed - besides sex? There IS a way to work it out. I will tell you a personal story though. My step-dad is a transvestite and your situation sounds a WHOLE LOT LIKE what my Mom went through. He made excuses to have his own bedroom so he could wear women's clothes without my Mom finding out...............

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Fri Sep 09, 2005 4:22 pm

Interesting Topic--------I have been married twice. The first for 30 years and she died. The second now for 13 years. I have slept in a separate bed with both wives. I am a thrasher and sleep with very little cover, any time of the year. Both of my wives need lots of cover. Sleeping apart was always a matter of personal comfort and being able to get a better nights sleep. Intimacy, sex, love, affection has nothing to do with sleep, besides we always grant each other unrestriced visitation rights. My daughers life was hell for 15 years due to the sleep apnea of my son in law. The marriage is fine now that he wears a sleep mask and they are in separate beds.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Fri Sep 09, 2005 4:25 pm

nvalleyvee wrote: How sad for you. Have you asked if there is a happy place in bed - besides sex? There IS a way to work it out. I will tell you a personal story though. My step-dad is a transvestite and your situation sounds a WHOLE LOT LIKE what my Mom went through. He made excuses to have his own bedroom so he could wear women's clothes without my Mom finding out...............

I've left him now NVV, he was a control freak, I had to do as I was told, if I chose to stay up a bit later to watch the end of a film etc, when I did go to bed he would make a huge fuss that I'd disturbed him when I got in, to the point of waking the children. I couldn't do right for doing wrong.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Fri Sep 09, 2005 4:28 pm

Well, my husband and I have always slept together, and would never contemplate being apart. He is ill now, but his bed is right next to mine, so he knows I am there all the time, so if he wakes at night he in comforted by my presence.

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Fri Sep 09, 2005 4:31 pm

Lon wrote: Interesting Topic-------- Intimacy, sex, love, affection has nothing to do with sleep, besides we always grant each other unrestriced visitation rights. .

That is what I'm talking about!! It really is up to the couple involved. I think I took it as a rejection of one one spouse or a deeper problem. If BOTH spouses agree - I see no problem. I would never feel comfy with that though. I would forever be trying to find a way to sidle up to my love.

PurpleChicken · Post by **PurpleChicken** » Sat Sep 10, 2005 4:27 am

I think it really depends on the couple. If that's what works for you then that's fine. But I personally wouldn't like it!!

I often have troubles sleeping. Sometimes it's due to my husband's snoring, so i've often thought about sneaking into the next room to help my slumber. The problem is that I love nothing more than snuggling up to him in the morning, so don't like the thought of being next door!! And when my sleeplessness is due to other factors, I love nothing better than being able to snuggle up for comfort...