In November of 07 I had what was eventually termed as a "nervous breakdown"... it took a while for the "experts" to decide that it was indeed what had occurred because I kept being accused of meth abuse.... It was the only way they felt they could explain my behavior even though my system was absolutely void of any evidence. This was because I WAS NOT, nor have I EVER BEEN a meth user/addict.
So, there are 3 days that I still can't personally account for. The blanks, well most of them, have been filled in by friends that witnessed my erratic behavior at the time. Friends that to this day.. our relationships have not mended to my satisfaction. It breaks my heart most days because these women were a source of strength in my life and I miss them more than words can convey. I understand their hesitance in a way and more than that, understand how they were hurt by my words and actions at the time even though I wasn't myself.
But, today... I looked at one of those friends' facebook and realized she had sent her wedding invitations out and simultaneously realized she never asked for my address. I know I move a lot but come on... we just spoke by phone a couple of weeks ago and even though I might not be able to make the trip.... an invite would've avoided this crappy feeling I have right now.
It sucks that something I couldn't help has caused this aching pain in my heart today. A pain that I've tried to push aside because the breakdown in itself was by far, the hardest thing I've ever endured and attempted to gain understanding of.
Has anyone else ever been through something like this? Should I say something to her? Or should I mark it off? Suppressing my emotions is what led to the breakdown in the first place but I just hate making waves
![Sad :(](./images/smilies/icon_e_sad.gif)
(...sorry for the book)