Ten Things I’d Love to Tell My Younger Self
I’ve learned some valuable things about life, love, and being female over the past half-century. Here is the advice I try to pass on to younger women in my life (family and friends) in the hope that it will save them some precious time:
1. You are at least ten times prettier than you think you are.
That holds true no matter how pretty you already think you are! Don’t believe me? Ask your mother/auntie/grannie if she thought she was pretty when she was twenty. She’ll say no. Then find a photo of her at that age. See what I mean?
2. The only thing you should be faking is confidence.
If you don’t have it yet, pretend you do. In every new situation, pretend you’re not nervous, pretend you’re not afraid. After a few times doing this, the pretend part disappears.
3. Want to try something new like painting, skiing, running your own business? Go to the library and borrow ten different books on the subject.
Skim through them all, find the ones that have the most vital information and study them. Then see number 2.
4. No matter how old you get, remember what it was like to be a nine-year old girl.
Remember the feeling of freedom. If you’ve already forgotten, do a cartwheel. You can so still do one. Savior that feeling. Wake up with it every day. You’ll stay young until the day you die.
5. In the same vein, cut or potted flowers are never a waste of money.
Because every time we glance at them, they remind us how much beauty there can be in the world.
6. Speaking of money, starting right this moment, whether you’re twenty or sixty, you can change your finances around.
Don’t leave someone else completely in charge, whether it’s your husband, partner, parents, or banker. Become financially savvy. Financial independence gives you the freedom to walk away from many bad situations. How do you know you’re in bad situation? See number seven.
. If your stomach hurts and you haven’t got a virus, you’re in a bad situation.
Before you know what it is, your stomach always does. Give yourself some time to ponder what it might be that’s making your stomach hurt. Chances are you already do know, you just don’t want to believe it, for some reason. You can ignore advice from your friends, even your own brain, but you can’t ignore your stomach, because the stomach never lies. Oh, and by the way—drowning your stomach in alcohol won’t make it stop telling you the truth, either.
8. When meeting someone new and he or she seems to be behaving like an ass**le, show compassion first.
If after you display your sincere compassion, they are still acting like an assh*le, walk away. If they follow you, call the police.
9. Wear sunscreen on your face, neck, and hands every day, winter and summer.
I don’t care how dark your skin naturally is. Wear it. You’ll remember me when you look in the mirror at age fifty. Always keep in mind that Your body is directly connected to your spirit. Look after your body. Exercise, floss, and brush your teeth. Put nothing in your body that can permanently harm your spirit, including the wrong man.
10. And if you are in bed with a man and he's the right man:
... meaning your stomach doesn’t hurt, he’s smiling at you, he knows your name, he’s not drunk, and neither are you—for godsakes—enjoy yourself. He is not at all thinking about how fat your thighs look.
By Patricia Volonakis Davis
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10 Things I'd love to Tell My Younger Self:
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along-for-the-ride
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10 Things I'd love to Tell My Younger Self:
Life is a Highway. Let's share the Commute.
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fuzzywuzzy
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10 Things I'd love to Tell My Younger Self:
I like those. I'll pretend I'm 80 telling myself now. 
And take the advice:)
And take the advice:)
10 Things I'd love to Tell My Younger Self:
if we could only think these ways.
Life is just to short for drama.
10 Things I'd love to Tell My Younger Self:
11. Do what YOU want to do. Don't always do everything your husband or boyfriend tells you to do. Have a mind of your own and use it to make decisions. You need to learn to become independent, not rely on the judgement of others all the time ..... or it will become habit!
12. Don't dump your girlfriends whenever you get a new b/f! They will be there for you long after he's disappeared!
13. Don't get married or pregnant at 18! You need to grow up, learn about the world and learn about yourself. Try to go to University and get good qualifications - they will always be there for you! Then take time to travel, explore the world and have fun! Then when you're surrounded by kids and nappies you know that you've had lots of good times, made lots of friends and seen lots of things! You won't feel you've missed out!
Don't just leave school, get married and get pregnant. It's depressing being tied down so young. You struggle to find enough money and it's not as fun as you thought it would be.
14. Always have a job. Even if it's part-time. Never be wholly dependent on someone else for money. Should anything happen you need to know you have some income. See point 6.
A fantastic thread AFTR! Thankyou for sharing it. :-6:-6
12. Don't dump your girlfriends whenever you get a new b/f! They will be there for you long after he's disappeared!
13. Don't get married or pregnant at 18! You need to grow up, learn about the world and learn about yourself. Try to go to University and get good qualifications - they will always be there for you! Then take time to travel, explore the world and have fun! Then when you're surrounded by kids and nappies you know that you've had lots of good times, made lots of friends and seen lots of things! You won't feel you've missed out!
Don't just leave school, get married and get pregnant. It's depressing being tied down so young. You struggle to find enough money and it's not as fun as you thought it would be.
14. Always have a job. Even if it's part-time. Never be wholly dependent on someone else for money. Should anything happen you need to know you have some income. See point 6.
A fantastic thread AFTR! Thankyou for sharing it. :-6:-6
10 Things I'd love to Tell My Younger Self:
15) never settle.
what a great list
what a great list
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�
― Mae West
― Mae West
10 Things I'd love to Tell My Younger Self:
Nomad;1222301 wrote: Revenge is a dish best served cold.
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
Life is just to short for drama.
10 Things I'd love to Tell My Younger Self:
lol. I agree with all of this. I am actually very young myself and I already know most of this being a bit mature for my age. However it is ALWAYS good to be reminded.
Thanks for the post! =)
Thanks for the post! =)
Link removed:)
10 Things I'd love to Tell My Younger Self:
"listen to your father"
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�
― Mae West
― Mae West
10 Things I'd love to Tell My Younger Self:
Great idea and list.
If I could go back, what gets me is I know I probably wouldn't listen to me anyway. I'm a little pig-headed at times, esp when someone is trying to tell me what's what.
But if I could somehow get my young self to "get it" I would say......
- Finish your degree - ANY degree! A Bachelor's in freakin basket weaving, although not recommended, beats the hell out of no degree. I know it's a pain and sucks now, but the older you get the harder it is to do, and the better you prep for life NOW, the more you will love yourself and reap the rewards for many, many, many years after. Focus on enjoying having it later, not the hassle now. Sure, have some fun in college, but remember you're there to prep for life, not just act like an irresponsible idiot. PS: don't look too favorably on the wild "party dudes" - again partying some is fine, but a lot of them are frankly obnoxious losers who will be asking you if you want to supersize your fries down the road. Keep your perspective!! College is a few years; a degree is forever. (If nothing else, think how much more fun and partying you can do for so many more years to come when making more money thx to that degree
)
- Any resolution needed with family or friends or within yourself - bust your butt to do it NOW! Again I know it's a pain and hard to get going on it, but these years that seem so so important now are just a blink of your eye looking back, and if you let it slide, it's still there for all those years to come, as bad if not worse. It's like having a wound and saying "oh sterilizing it and putting stitches in will hurt so I'll just ignore it." d'oh.
- Your best chance for finding someone who you would be happy spending the rest of your life with is your 20somethings or so.....not saying to rush or freak out at any given age, but the older you get, the harder it gets, if for no other reason than the available women narrows considerably. Oh stop looking for/expecting the "perfect" girl. She doesn't exist. Every one you meet will have this or that; don't use that as an excuse to keep looking for the better deal which you think (or hope) is just around the corner. The grass is always greener over there, and you likely won't ever get there. Finally, don't overlook that "plain" girl who you otherwise think is so great. If sex is all you care about, that's probably all you will get. And I don't care how good it is, that's just one small part of life's happiness.
- Start planning investing for retirement NOW and keep doing it every month. It doesn't have to be a ton. But time is either your greatest asset or your worst enemy - a little saved now is worth so much more later, even with modest returns. And don't get cute; keep it as simple (but balanced) as possible.
- Being young is no crime and respect is earned. Beyond a modest "respect your elders" and giving the benefit of the doubt, don't let someone overrun you or doubt yourself just because they're older. A lot of older morons out there and your intelligence and instincts are both very good. Give yourself credit there. If you're thinking "?? but that doesn't seem right at all; it seems a lot more like......." guess what, that's probably because IT IS.
- That said, experience is the best teacher and you should acknowledge your limitations due to being young ie having very little "life experience." You can learn a lot from people older than you who have the benefit of experience you don't. If what they're saying sounds logical, don't dismiss it just because you don't want to hear it, and don't just politely agree while not really buying it deep down - you'll regret it.
If I could go back, what gets me is I know I probably wouldn't listen to me anyway. I'm a little pig-headed at times, esp when someone is trying to tell me what's what.
But if I could somehow get my young self to "get it" I would say......
- Finish your degree - ANY degree! A Bachelor's in freakin basket weaving, although not recommended, beats the hell out of no degree. I know it's a pain and sucks now, but the older you get the harder it is to do, and the better you prep for life NOW, the more you will love yourself and reap the rewards for many, many, many years after. Focus on enjoying having it later, not the hassle now. Sure, have some fun in college, but remember you're there to prep for life, not just act like an irresponsible idiot. PS: don't look too favorably on the wild "party dudes" - again partying some is fine, but a lot of them are frankly obnoxious losers who will be asking you if you want to supersize your fries down the road. Keep your perspective!! College is a few years; a degree is forever. (If nothing else, think how much more fun and partying you can do for so many more years to come when making more money thx to that degree
)- Any resolution needed with family or friends or within yourself - bust your butt to do it NOW! Again I know it's a pain and hard to get going on it, but these years that seem so so important now are just a blink of your eye looking back, and if you let it slide, it's still there for all those years to come, as bad if not worse. It's like having a wound and saying "oh sterilizing it and putting stitches in will hurt so I'll just ignore it." d'oh.
- Your best chance for finding someone who you would be happy spending the rest of your life with is your 20somethings or so.....not saying to rush or freak out at any given age, but the older you get, the harder it gets, if for no other reason than the available women narrows considerably. Oh stop looking for/expecting the "perfect" girl. She doesn't exist. Every one you meet will have this or that; don't use that as an excuse to keep looking for the better deal which you think (or hope) is just around the corner. The grass is always greener over there, and you likely won't ever get there. Finally, don't overlook that "plain" girl who you otherwise think is so great. If sex is all you care about, that's probably all you will get. And I don't care how good it is, that's just one small part of life's happiness.
- Start planning investing for retirement NOW and keep doing it every month. It doesn't have to be a ton. But time is either your greatest asset or your worst enemy - a little saved now is worth so much more later, even with modest returns. And don't get cute; keep it as simple (but balanced) as possible.
- Being young is no crime and respect is earned. Beyond a modest "respect your elders" and giving the benefit of the doubt, don't let someone overrun you or doubt yourself just because they're older. A lot of older morons out there and your intelligence and instincts are both very good. Give yourself credit there. If you're thinking "?? but that doesn't seem right at all; it seems a lot more like......." guess what, that's probably because IT IS.
- That said, experience is the best teacher and you should acknowledge your limitations due to being young ie having very little "life experience." You can learn a lot from people older than you who have the benefit of experience you don't. If what they're saying sounds logical, don't dismiss it just because you don't want to hear it, and don't just politely agree while not really buying it deep down - you'll regret it.
10 Things I'd love to Tell My Younger Self:
joey2000;1265697 wrote: Great idea and list.
If I could go back, what gets me is I know I probably wouldn't listen to me anyway. I'm a little pig-headed at times, esp when someone is trying to tell me what's what.
But if I could somehow get my young self to "get it" I would say......
- Finish your degree - ANY degree! A Bachelor's in freakin basket weaving, although not recommended, beats the hell out of no degree. I know it's a pain and sucks now, but the older you get the harder it is to do, and the better you prep for life NOW, the more you will love yourself and reap the rewards for many, many, many years after. Focus on enjoying having it later, not the hassle now. Sure, have some fun in college, but remember you're there to prep for life, not just act like an irresponsible idiot. PS: don't look too favorably on the wild "party dudes" - again partying some is fine, but a lot of them are frankly obnoxious losers who will be asking you if you want to supersize your fries down the road. Keep your perspective!! College is a few years; a degree is forever. (If nothing else, think how much more fun and partying you can do for so many more years to come when making more money thx to that degree )
- Any resolution needed with family or friends or within yourself - bust your butt to do it NOW! Again I know it's a pain and hard to get going on it, but these years that seem so so important now are just a blink of your eye looking back, and if you let it slide, it's still there for all those years to come, as bad if not worse. It's like having a wound and saying "oh sterilizing it and putting stitches in will hurt so I'll just ignore it." d'oh.
- Your best chance for finding someone who you would be happy spending the rest of your life with is your 20somethings or so.....not saying to rush or freak out at any given age, but the older you get, the harder it gets, if for no other reason than the available women narrows considerably. Oh stop looking for/expecting the "perfect" girl. She doesn't exist. Every one you meet will have this or that; don't use that as an excuse to keep looking for the better deal which you think (or hope) is just around the corner. The grass is always greener over there, and you likely won't ever get there. Finally, don't overlook that "plain" girl who you otherwise think is so great. If sex is all you care about, that's probably all you will get. And I don't care how good it is, that's just one small part of life's happiness.
- Start planning investing for retirement NOW and keep doing it every month. It doesn't have to be a ton. But time is either your greatest asset or your worst enemy - a little saved now is worth so much more later, even with modest returns. And don't get cute; keep it as simple (but balanced) as possible.
- Being young is no crime and respect is earned. Beyond a modest "respect your elders" and giving the benefit of the doubt, don't let someone overrun you or doubt yourself just because they're older. A lot of older morons out there and your intelligence and instincts are both very good. Give yourself credit there. If you're thinking "?? but that doesn't seem right at all; it seems a lot more like......." guess what, that's probably because IT IS!
- That said, experience is the best teacher and you should acknowledge your limitations due to being young ie having very little "life experience." You can learn a lot from people older than you who have the benefit of experience you don't. If what they're saying sounds logical, don't dismiss it just because you don't want to hear it, and don't just politely agree while not really buying it deep down - you'll regret it.
What incredibly wise words!
Very very well said Joey! :-4 :-6
If I could go back, what gets me is I know I probably wouldn't listen to me anyway. I'm a little pig-headed at times, esp when someone is trying to tell me what's what.
But if I could somehow get my young self to "get it" I would say......
- Finish your degree - ANY degree! A Bachelor's in freakin basket weaving, although not recommended, beats the hell out of no degree. I know it's a pain and sucks now, but the older you get the harder it is to do, and the better you prep for life NOW, the more you will love yourself and reap the rewards for many, many, many years after. Focus on enjoying having it later, not the hassle now. Sure, have some fun in college, but remember you're there to prep for life, not just act like an irresponsible idiot. PS: don't look too favorably on the wild "party dudes" - again partying some is fine, but a lot of them are frankly obnoxious losers who will be asking you if you want to supersize your fries down the road. Keep your perspective!! College is a few years; a degree is forever. (If nothing else, think how much more fun and partying you can do for so many more years to come when making more money thx to that degree
)- Any resolution needed with family or friends or within yourself - bust your butt to do it NOW! Again I know it's a pain and hard to get going on it, but these years that seem so so important now are just a blink of your eye looking back, and if you let it slide, it's still there for all those years to come, as bad if not worse. It's like having a wound and saying "oh sterilizing it and putting stitches in will hurt so I'll just ignore it." d'oh.
- Your best chance for finding someone who you would be happy spending the rest of your life with is your 20somethings or so.....not saying to rush or freak out at any given age, but the older you get, the harder it gets, if for no other reason than the available women narrows considerably. Oh stop looking for/expecting the "perfect" girl. She doesn't exist. Every one you meet will have this or that; don't use that as an excuse to keep looking for the better deal which you think (or hope) is just around the corner. The grass is always greener over there, and you likely won't ever get there. Finally, don't overlook that "plain" girl who you otherwise think is so great. If sex is all you care about, that's probably all you will get. And I don't care how good it is, that's just one small part of life's happiness.
- Start planning investing for retirement NOW and keep doing it every month. It doesn't have to be a ton. But time is either your greatest asset or your worst enemy - a little saved now is worth so much more later, even with modest returns. And don't get cute; keep it as simple (but balanced) as possible.
- Being young is no crime and respect is earned. Beyond a modest "respect your elders" and giving the benefit of the doubt, don't let someone overrun you or doubt yourself just because they're older. A lot of older morons out there and your intelligence and instincts are both very good. Give yourself credit there. If you're thinking "?? but that doesn't seem right at all; it seems a lot more like......." guess what, that's probably because IT IS!
- That said, experience is the best teacher and you should acknowledge your limitations due to being young ie having very little "life experience." You can learn a lot from people older than you who have the benefit of experience you don't. If what they're saying sounds logical, don't dismiss it just because you don't want to hear it, and don't just politely agree while not really buying it deep down - you'll regret it.
What incredibly wise words!
Very very well said Joey! :-4
:-610 Things I'd love to Tell My Younger Self:
joey2000;1265697 wrote: Great idea and list.
If I could go back, what gets me is I know I probably wouldn't listen to me anyway. I'm a little pig-headed at times, esp when someone is trying to tell me what's what.
But if I could somehow get my young self to "get it" I would say......
- Finish your degree - ANY degree! A Bachelor's in freakin basket weaving, although not recommended, beats the hell out of no degree. I know it's a pain and sucks now, but the older you get the harder it is to do, and the better you prep for life NOW, the more you will love yourself and reap the rewards for many, many, many years after. Focus on enjoying having it later, not the hassle now. Sure, have some fun in college, but remember you're there to prep for life, not just act like an irresponsible idiot. PS: don't look too favorably on the wild "party dudes" - again partying some is fine, but a lot of them are frankly obnoxious losers who will be asking you if you want to supersize your fries down the road. Keep your perspective!! College is a few years; a degree is forever. (If nothing else, think how much more fun and partying you can do for so many more years to come when making more money thx to that degree )
- Any resolution needed with family or friends or within yourself - bust your butt to do it NOW! Again I know it's a pain and hard to get going on it, but these years that seem so so important now are just a blink of your eye looking back, and if you let it slide, it's still there for all those years to come, as bad if not worse. It's like having a wound and saying "oh sterilizing it and putting stitches in will hurt so I'll just ignore it." d'oh.
- Your best chance for finding someone who you would be happy spending the rest of your life with is your 20somethings or so.....not saying to rush or freak out at any given age, but the older you get, the harder it gets, if for no other reason than the available women narrows considerably. Oh stop looking for/expecting the "perfect" girl. She doesn't exist. Every one you meet will have this or that; don't use that as an excuse to keep looking for the better deal which you think (or hope) is just around the corner. The grass is always greener over therecause generally it is well fertilized hehehehe), and you likely won't ever get there. Finally, don't overlook that "plain" girl who you otherwise think is so great. If sex is all you care about, that's probably all you will get. And I don't care how good it is, that's just one small part of life's happiness.
- Start planning investing for retirement NOW and keep doing it every month. It doesn't have to be a ton. But time is either your greatest asset or your worst enemy - a little saved now is worth so much more later, even with modest returns. And don't get cute; keep it as simple (but balanced) as possible.
- Being young is no crime and respect is earned. Beyond a modest "respect your elders" and giving the benefit of the doubt, don't let someone overrun you or doubt yourself just because they're older. A lot of older morons out there and your intelligence and instincts are both very good. Give yourself credit there. If you're thinking "?? but that doesn't seem right at all; it seems a lot more like......." guess what, that's probably because IT IS!
- That said, experience is the best teacher and you should acknowledge your limitations due to being young ie having very little "life experience." You can learn a lot from people older than you who have the benefit of experience you don't. If what they're saying sounds logical, don't dismiss it just because you don't want to hear it, and don't just politely agree while not really buying it deep down - you'll regret it.
ah if only we knew then what we know now.
If I could go back, what gets me is I know I probably wouldn't listen to me anyway. I'm a little pig-headed at times, esp when someone is trying to tell me what's what.
But if I could somehow get my young self to "get it" I would say......
- Finish your degree - ANY degree! A Bachelor's in freakin basket weaving, although not recommended, beats the hell out of no degree. I know it's a pain and sucks now, but the older you get the harder it is to do, and the better you prep for life NOW, the more you will love yourself and reap the rewards for many, many, many years after. Focus on enjoying having it later, not the hassle now. Sure, have some fun in college, but remember you're there to prep for life, not just act like an irresponsible idiot. PS: don't look too favorably on the wild "party dudes" - again partying some is fine, but a lot of them are frankly obnoxious losers who will be asking you if you want to supersize your fries down the road. Keep your perspective!! College is a few years; a degree is forever. (If nothing else, think how much more fun and partying you can do for so many more years to come when making more money thx to that degree
)- Any resolution needed with family or friends or within yourself - bust your butt to do it NOW! Again I know it's a pain and hard to get going on it, but these years that seem so so important now are just a blink of your eye looking back, and if you let it slide, it's still there for all those years to come, as bad if not worse. It's like having a wound and saying "oh sterilizing it and putting stitches in will hurt so I'll just ignore it." d'oh.
- Your best chance for finding someone who you would be happy spending the rest of your life with is your 20somethings or so.....not saying to rush or freak out at any given age, but the older you get, the harder it gets, if for no other reason than the available women narrows considerably. Oh stop looking for/expecting the "perfect" girl. She doesn't exist. Every one you meet will have this or that; don't use that as an excuse to keep looking for the better deal which you think (or hope) is just around the corner. The grass is always greener over therecause generally it is well fertilized hehehehe), and you likely won't ever get there. Finally, don't overlook that "plain" girl who you otherwise think is so great. If sex is all you care about, that's probably all you will get. And I don't care how good it is, that's just one small part of life's happiness.
- Start planning investing for retirement NOW and keep doing it every month. It doesn't have to be a ton. But time is either your greatest asset or your worst enemy - a little saved now is worth so much more later, even with modest returns. And don't get cute; keep it as simple (but balanced) as possible.
- Being young is no crime and respect is earned. Beyond a modest "respect your elders" and giving the benefit of the doubt, don't let someone overrun you or doubt yourself just because they're older. A lot of older morons out there and your intelligence and instincts are both very good. Give yourself credit there. If you're thinking "?? but that doesn't seem right at all; it seems a lot more like......." guess what, that's probably because IT IS!
- That said, experience is the best teacher and you should acknowledge your limitations due to being young ie having very little "life experience." You can learn a lot from people older than you who have the benefit of experience you don't. If what they're saying sounds logical, don't dismiss it just because you don't want to hear it, and don't just politely agree while not really buying it deep down - you'll regret it.
ah if only we knew then what we know now.
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�
― Mae West
― Mae West