what do people think of cross cultural adoption?

jahamaa · Post by **jahamaa** » Sat Dec 04, 2004 3:59 pm

Dear Friend

A very smart lady I once knew told me that the main problem people in the US have when it comes to solving the problems we face in this country is that we overthink every subject. Respectfully, I think that is what you have done with your question. What identity will these children have but the one given them by their parents? Someone who cares about you, enough to eat and warmth in the winter all else is dross.

capt_buzzard · Post by **capt_buzzard** » Sat Dec 04, 2004 4:19 pm

Is this Spam? :driving:

Hawke · Post by **Hawke** » Sat Dec 04, 2004 6:32 pm

I think that this is a valid question, and deserves a valid response.

20 years ago, I would have agreed with that the opinion that intercultural adoption could lead to confusion and alienation for the adoptee, but I believe that the increased globalism we are seeing today will prove to lessen or obliterate the differences. Consider: My own nephew lives in a neighborhood where American, African and Asian (Korean) families live within an area of just a few blocks. I have witnessed these children playing together with no trace of stigma.

Within the next 20 years, I feel the world will become even more integrated, and we will see more and more intercultural adoption.

A Karenina · Post by **A Karenina** » Sat Dec 04, 2004 6:34 pm

the anthropologist wrote: However, will the child not grow up feeling somewhat alienated and confused over its identity?

Only if identity is defined by cultural gene pools. Personally, I don't think it defined that way at all.

Hey, did you read the recent National geographic article about testing Lebanese fishermen to verify if they were descended from the Phoenicians?

sofemme · Post by **sofemme** » Thu Sep 15, 2005 5:01 pm

Children need a loving home, where they know they belong, are wanted, accepted, and encouraged to dream. You will run into the hardest critics when they are in middle school. The kids will find something; anything to tease them about and as the parent you will handle it to the best of your ability.....just like every parent has done before.

If your heart leads you to adopt a child of any race; you should follow your heart and your conscience.

my .02,

nancy.

:yh_flower

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Thu Sep 15, 2005 6:15 pm

It is wonderful! I have a brother and sister who are Korean, my nieces and nephews are from multiple ethnic groups, and we love each other so much. My brother and sister had no parents and were orphaned by the Korean War, they had a chance for life, and we had a chance to learn about many things.

actionfigurestepho · Post by **actionfigurestepho** » Thu Sep 15, 2005 8:12 pm

If you're adopting a baby from another country but it grows up here, in my mind it's an American baby. It would learn about its roots and culture the same way the children of immigrants, or those of us whose families have been here for generations learn about our ancestors. I don't know anyone who isn't a mix of many cultures.

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Fri Sep 16, 2005 11:16 am

the anthropologist wrote: I was recently in China and staying a a Hotel where many Westerners stay with their newly adopted Chinese baby girls before flying back home.

I have mixed views on adopting a child from a different culture and country than your own.

On the one hand I think that it is good to adopt a child that might otherwise have never experienced love and family life. However, will the child not grow up feeling somewhat alienated and confused over its identity?

Children are very resilient and are assimilated into the culture they are bought up in, (it may be difficult If an older child is adopted).

I think there may be difficulties when the child is older...this is where the upbringing comes in...love trust and honesty about the childs 'roots' will pave the way to an acceptance of the circumstances as they get older.

I should say that I have absolutely no experience in this field...it is just my 'observation' if you like.

It is useful to think about the kind of lives these babes would live in their own countries and also to examine the motives of the adopting parents....a huge , huge subject.

Kathy · Post by **Kathy** » Fri Sep 16, 2005 11:30 am

I have a good friend who has adopted two girls from China. They plan on teaching the girls whatever they want to know about that country as they get older and taking them there at some point. They are not going to force anything on them and will be as open as possible with the girls regarding the circumstances of how they came to be a part of their wonderful family. They are such an inspiration. If I had the financial ability and more space in my home, I would do it in a heartbeat.

I also used to work with a woman who had adopted a little girl from China and she told me that people always thought she was baby sitting, and not the girl's mother. She explained that she had adopted her from China and alway received a very positive response.

I agree with the previous comment that we are such a diverse country and that people are more accepting of mixed families, especially in larger metropolitan areas. (Based on what I"ve seen from living in larger cities to smaller towns.)