I'm at a lost...

Omni_Skittles · Post by **Omni_Skittles** » Fri Feb 05, 2010 11:08 pm

I don't know what to do anymore... I've done everything but confronting the stupid guy... I've liked a guy for two years now... I mean I'm with him more then his best friend... who btw lives with him... His mother loves me... I'm at his house all the time and he invites me to do things ALL the time... but he's also lately been showing interest in another girl... am i just the friend he likes to talk to but doesn't want to date... am i that girl i make fun of because she's being so stupid and letting this happen to her? I know right now that i can't take anymore of it.. I want to know what's up but problem 1... i'm old fashioned and think the woman should never be the one to say it first... and problem 2... I'm afraid it would make things so awkward we would never speak again... i mean i think it might be worth a try... Or choice b... be the strong woman that i know i am and just throw a water balloon at him and say his lost! ha i'm open for ideas ha

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Fri Feb 05, 2010 11:14 pm

Omni_Skittles;1288448 wrote: I don't know what to do anymore... I've done everything but confronting the stupid guy... I've liked a guy for two years now... I mean I'm with him more then his best friend... who btw lives with him... His mother loves me... I'm at his house all the time and he invites me to do things ALL the time... but he's also lately been showing interest in another girl... am i just the friend he likes to talk to but doesn't want to date... am i that girl i make fun of because she's being so stupid and letting this happen to her? I know right now that i can't take anymore of it.. I want to know what's up but problem 1... i'm old fashioned and think the woman should never be the one to say it first... and problem 2... I'm afraid it would make things so awkward we would never speak again... i mean i think it might be worth a try... Or choice b... be the strong woman that i know i am and just throw a water balloon at him and say his lost! ha i'm open for ideas ha

It sounds like you are his best friend only.

You can by all means talk to him about your feelings, perhaps he never even realized?

Omni_Skittles · Post by **Omni_Skittles** » Fri Feb 05, 2010 11:23 pm

Odie;1288450 wrote: It sounds like you are his best friend only.

You can by all means talk to him about your feelings, perhaps he never even realized?
oh God the movie "he's just not into you" is just playing in my head!!! ... and my best friend's wedding... lol I can't believe i'm so stupid... i just don't want to believe it!

Barman · Post by **Barman** » Sat Feb 06, 2010 1:33 am

You will never know if you don't try, send him a card, he may be blind to the fact that you want to rattle his bones. He may be feeling the same as you, love is blind i have been told.

You could just grab him, that should get a reaction one way or the other.

I should be an agony aunt.

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Sat Feb 06, 2010 4:07 am

Lol! Don't TELL him! He'll get all embarrassed and awkward and won't know what to do with that information. It'll be too "heavy" for him to cope with and he'll dump you in fright. Then you'll both mourn the loss of a wonderful friendship and neither of you will know how to put it right again!

Let me tell you some things about life hunny.

Life is a game.

Love is a game.

You have to know how to play the game of life and the game of love without getting bogged down in all the heavy 'meaningful' stuff!

At least not yet!

Play the game with a light hand, be funny and flirty, not too serious.

As Hermione Granger said in Harry Potter "Men have the emotional depth of a tea spoon!"

That is SO true!

You have to play him at his own game.

Pretend you have met someone that you like. Casually mention this 'guy'. Drop his name into the conversation. Say you think he might like you. Then say this guy has asked you out. Take the guy you fancy shopping with you to buy new clothes or make up for the date with the made-up guy. Treat the guy you fancy like a girl-friend - laughing, giggling and chatting about made-up guy.

The guy you fancy has to learn to see you in a new light.

He has to learn to see you as a pretty, fanciable girl that other guys would go for.

Just telling him you have the hots for him would be like smacking him round the head with a baseball bat! You'd knock him sideways and he'd be reeling in shock for ages.

You have to plant an idea in a guys head.

Nurture that idea.....

...And then let the guy think he figured it out all by himself! :wah:

You could even talk about getting your first kiss from made-up guy.

You have to make the guy you like start to think "Hang-on. She's MY mate. I should be the one to go out with her. I want to be the first one to kiss her."

Don't lay it on too thick. Just drop little things into the conversation. The idea is to make him jealous. When people become jealous of something they begin to want it badly, even if they never wanted it before.

If he's REALLY slow on the uptake you could maybe say you're worried about that first kiss. You want it to be perfect and you're worried about bumping noses or what to do with your hands, etc. Wonder aloud whether you could find someone to practice on. Perhaps name a friend of his. Then he'll picture his friend kissing you....which should start to make him feel jealous, etc.

Just take your time...don't rush him.

And keep everything very light and casual, don't lay anything heavy emotionally on him.

Good luck. let us know what happens.

Jazzy · Post by **Jazzy** » Sat Feb 06, 2010 5:18 am

Rapunzel;1288464 wrote: Lol! Don't TELL him! He'll get all embarrassed and awkward and won't know what to do with that information. It'll be too "heavy" for him to cope with and he'll dump you in fright. Then you'll both mourn the loss of a wonderful friendship and neither of you will know how to put it right again!

Let me tell you some things about life hunny.

Life is a game.

Love is a game.

You have to know how to play the game of life and the game of love without getting bogged down in all the heavy 'meaningful' stuff!

At least not yet!

Play the game with a light hand, be funny and flirty, not too serious.

As Hermione Granger said in Harry Potter "Men have the emotional depth of a tea spoon!"

That is SO true!

You have to play him at his own game.

Pretend you have met someone that you like. Casually mention this 'guy'. Drop his name into the conversation. Say you think he might like you. Then say this guy has asked you out. Take the guy you fancy shopping with you to buy new clothes or make up for the date with the made-up guy. Treat the guy you fancy like a girl-friend - laughing, giggling and chatting about made-up guy.

The guy you fancy has to learn to see you in a new light.

He has to learn to see you as a pretty, fanciable girl that other guys would go for.

Just telling him you have the hots for him would be like smacking him round the head with a baseball bat! You'd knock him sideways and he'd be reeling in shock for ages.

You have to plant an idea in a guys head.

Nurture that idea.....

...And then let the guy think he figured it out all by himself! :wah:

You could even talk about getting your first kiss from made-up guy.

You have to make the guy you like start to think "Hang-on. She's MY mate. I should be the one to go out with her. I want to be the first one to kiss her."

Don't lay it on too thick. Just drop little things into the conversation. The idea is to make him jealous. When people become jealous of something they begin to want it badly, even if they never wanted it before.

If he's REALLY slow on the uptake you could maybe say you're worried about that first kiss. You want it to be perfect and you're worried about bumping noses or what to do with your hands, etc. Wonder aloud whether you could find someone to practice on. Perhaps name a friend of his. Then he'll picture his friend kissing you....which should start to make him feel jealous, etc.

Just take your time...don't rush him.

And keep everything very light and casual, don't lay anything heavy emotionally on him.

Good luck. let us know what happens.

Excellent advice and this is exactly what I would do.

Great post Rap!

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Sat Feb 06, 2010 5:50 am

Barman;1288461 wrote: You will never know if you don't try, send him a card, he may be blind to the fact that you want to rattle his bones. He may be feeling the same as you, love is blind i have been told.

You could just grab him, that should get a reaction one way or the other.

I should be an agony aunt.

Sorry, Barman, I think that position has already been taken by Rapunzel ! :-6

Good advice, Rap! :-6

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Sat Feb 06, 2010 7:58 am

Omni_Skittles;1288453 wrote: oh God the movie "he's just not into you" is just playing in my head!!! ... and my best friend's wedding... lol I can't believe i'm so stupid... i just don't want to believe it!

Like I said, he may have not even realized who you are, talk to him.

Your not stupid hun, everyone gets into those situations, its not your fault.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Sat Feb 06, 2010 8:10 am

1... i'm old fashioned and think the woman should never be the one to say it first... and problem 2... I'm afraid it would make things so awkward we would never speak again...

1. Talk to him, don't wait for him to do it. All the power of making a choice should not remain with him, if your heart is telling you otherwise.

2. What is more important-a friendship or a romantic one? That should be your choice. If a romantic one, go for it, or you may always be sorry you never said anything to him at all.

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Sat Feb 06, 2010 9:40 am

chonsigirl;1288521 wrote: 1. Talk to him, don't wait for him to do it. All the power of making a choice should not remain with him, if your heart is telling you otherwise.

2. What is more important-a friendship or a romantic one? That should be your choice. If a romantic one, go for it, or you may always be sorry you never said anything to him at all.

I agree!

Omni_Skittles · Post by **Omni_Skittles** » Sat Feb 06, 2010 12:12 pm

oh goodness lol

Ya'll are too funny... But good point... why am i being so serious! I'm only 19!!!! I blame my mother. lol

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Sat Feb 06, 2010 12:36 pm

Omni_Skittles;1288566 wrote: oh goodness lol

Ya'll are too funny... But good point... why am i being so serious! I'm only 19!!!! I blame my mother. lol

your not that young, I was married at 19.

Omni_Skittles · Post by **Omni_Skittles** » Sat Feb 06, 2010 12:37 pm

Odie;1288577 wrote: your not that young, I was married at 19.;)yea... and so are a lot of girls here... it's like marriage heaven...

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Sat Feb 06, 2010 12:39 pm

Omni_Skittles;1288578 wrote: yea... and so are a lot of girls here... it's like marriage heaven...

honestly?

that's to young.

I leaned the hard way.

Omni_Skittles · Post by **Omni_Skittles** » Sat Feb 06, 2010 12:46 pm

Odie;1288581 wrote: honestly?

that's to young.

I leaned the hard way.I haven't even graduated college yet! And oddly, i hear that a lot... so i don't think marriage is in my near future unless it's like a forced arranged marriage with a gun to my head...

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Sat Feb 06, 2010 12:52 pm

Omni_Skittles;1288587 wrote: I haven't even graduated college yet! And oddly, i hear that a lot... so i don't think marriage is in my near future unless it's like a forced arranged marriage with a gun to my head...

have you decided what to do about your friend?

Omni_Skittles · Post by **Omni_Skittles** » Sat Feb 06, 2010 1:11 pm

Odie;1288592 wrote: have you decided what to do about your friend?well he's at a funeral this weekend so i haven't seen or spoken to him... which is why i have this power trip of i can live without him and i don't need him thing going on... so... i guess we'll see come monday what i decide... lol i'm so not sure...

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Sat Feb 06, 2010 4:36 pm

Omni_Skittles;1288597 wrote: well he's at a funeral this weekend so i haven't seen or spoken to him... which is why i have this power trip of i can live without him and i don't need him thing going on... so... i guess we'll see come monday what i decide... lol i'm so not sure...

its not a power trip your on, could be denial.

take your time and think about it.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Sat Feb 06, 2010 5:25 pm

This i see happens to the young as well as the OLD. It is called pink and blue. what that means. Men and women speak a "different launage" at times. Most of the time. I have learned over the years. You can try to light the MATCH. and see what happens. at least your cards will be on the table. If he is the shy type. he may need a SPARK. Good luck. But hun it does not get easier. Pink and blue happens to us all.:-4

Ahso! · Post by **Ahso!** » Sat Feb 06, 2010 10:36 pm

Rapunzel;1288464 wrote: Lol! Don't TELL him! He'll get all embarrassed and awkward and won't know what to do with that information. It'll be too "heavy" for him to cope with and he'll dump you in fright. Then you'll both mourn the loss of a wonderful friendship and neither of you will know how to put it right again!

Let me tell you some things about life hunny.

Life is a game.

Love is a game.

You have to know how to play the game of life and the game of love without getting bogged down in all the heavy 'meaningful' stuff!

At least not yet!

Play the game with a light hand, be funny and flirty, not too serious.

As Hermione Granger said in Harry Potter "Men have the emotional depth of a tea spoon!"

That is SO true!

You have to play him at his own game.

Pretend you have met someone that you like. Casually mention this 'guy'. Drop his name into the conversation. Say you think he might like you. Then say this guy has asked you out. Take the guy you fancy shopping with you to buy new clothes or make up for the date with the made-up guy. Treat the guy you fancy like a girl-friend - laughing, giggling and chatting about made-up guy.

The guy you fancy has to learn to see you in a new light.

He has to learn to see you as a pretty, fanciable girl that other guys would go for.

Just telling him you have the hots for him would be like smacking him round the head with a baseball bat! You'd knock him sideways and he'd be reeling in shock for ages.

You have to plant an idea in a guys head.

Nurture that idea.....

...And then let the guy think he figured it out all by himself! :wah:

You could even talk about getting your first kiss from made-up guy.

You have to make the guy you like start to think "Hang-on. She's MY mate. I should be the one to go out with her. I want to be the first one to kiss her."

Don't lay it on too thick. Just drop little things into the conversation. The idea is to make him jealous. When people become jealous of something they begin to want it badly, even if they never wanted it before.

If he's REALLY slow on the uptake you could maybe say you're worried about that first kiss. You want it to be perfect and you're worried about bumping noses or what to do with your hands, etc. Wonder aloud whether you could find someone to practice on. Perhaps name a friend of his. Then he'll picture his friend kissing you....which should start to make him feel jealous, etc.

Just take your time...don't rush him.

And keep everything very light and casual, don't lay anything heavy emotionally on him.

Good luck. let us know what happens. ;)You are kidding, aren't you? You've got to be! No way you're being serious!

Very, very insulting toward men and young people - and women for that matter. The level of cynicism towards relationships in this post is alarming. Whats hidden between the lines is transparent. Is all of life this type of facade for such people?

This is not counsel on how to manage a relationship, its reckless advice on how to manipulate one, and its very dangerous indeed. In the end of this type of scenario everyone loses. And the biggest losers are any kids which may be the result if such a relationship goes that far.

Omni_Skittles · Post by **Omni_Skittles** » Sun Feb 07, 2010 3:02 pm

I kind of agree Ahso... but It's just advice... one takes it or leaves it... in my opinion...

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Sun Feb 07, 2010 3:44 pm

Omni_Skittles;1288809 wrote: I kind of agree Ahso... but It's just advice... one takes it or leaves it... in my opinion... it's hard when you are young:-4

Ahso! · Post by **Ahso!** » Sun Feb 07, 2010 4:26 pm

Relationships can be difficult at all ages. I'd say perhaps even more so as we grow older in many cases because as an older person one is (hopefully) more aware of their shortcomings, frailties and inconsistencies, not to mention physical liabilities.

Things don't always turn out as we'd like them to, and if its not happening for the two of you together, well maybe more time is needed or perhaps finding out through process of elimination. There was a popular saying in the seventies:

if you love something, let it go

If it returns to you, its yours

if it doesn't, it never was

Thats not to say you should not let this person know you have feelings for him. Only you know whether or not you should do that. None of us have been around the two of you and we don't even know much about you or the values you've been raised with, and it would be far too presumptuous for anyone here to advise you beyond general terms or sharing stories of events they themselves have lived.

You seem to be a bright person, trust yourself and accept the circumstances you leave yourself with or without.

Post by **spot** » Sun Feb 07, 2010 5:53 pm

Just concentrate on finishing your course, skittles. Nobody out there is worth the distraction they'll cause you.

Ahso! · Post by **Ahso!** » Sun Feb 07, 2010 6:04 pm

spot;1288828 wrote: Just concentrate on finishing your course, skittles. Nobody out there is worth the distraction they'll cause you.Best advice so far. I was going to say that earlier but I got caught up in the moment and I forgot. Thats been happening more often as I age. Passion is harder to come by in later years, I have to capture it while its there...So much for reasonable thought. I never was good at that anyway.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Feb 07, 2010 9:57 pm

Rapunzel;1288464 wrote: Lol! Don't TELL him! He'll get all embarrassed and awkward and won't know what to do with that information. It'll be too "heavy" for him to cope with and he'll dump you in fright. Then you'll both mourn the loss of a wonderful friendship and neither of you will know how to put it right again!

Let me tell you some things about life hunny.

Life is a game.

Love is a game.

You have to know how to play the game of life and the game of love without getting bogged down in all the heavy 'meaningful' stuff!

At least not yet!

Play the game with a light hand, be funny and flirty, not too serious.

I couldnt disagree more. This isnt right at all. Rapunzel has no idea how this person will react nor what hell feel. These are her thoughts based on her perceptions but thats what you get when you ask for advice.

Life is not a game. Its real. Those things you feel in your heart, real. Your thoughts, real, your experiences, real.

Someone that tells you life and love are games is jaded. Thats a miserable existence.

You do what you think is right. Some things we just have to figure out for ourselves.

My two cents is that it would be worth risking the friendship because life is better when were true to ourselves. Maybe the friendship cant take it, maybe the friendship turns to love. Either way an important thing will happen that will allow you to grow from trying.

My best to you.

Ahso! · Post by **Ahso!** » Mon Feb 08, 2010 1:07 am

Nomad;1288847 wrote: I couldnt disagree more. This isnt right at all. Rapunzel has no idea how this person will react nor what hell feel. These are her thoughts based on her perceptions but thats what you get when you ask for advice.

Life is not a game. Its real. Those things you feel in your heart, real. Your thoughts, real, your experiences, real.

Someone that tells you life and love are games is jaded. Thats a miserable existence.

You do what you think is right. Some things we just have to figure out for ourselves.

My two cents is that it would be worth risking the friendship because life is better when were true to ourselves. Maybe the friendship cant take it, maybe the friendship turns to love. Either way an important thing will happen that will allow you to grow from trying.

My best to you.I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and say the post was either a joke or perhaps there was an over indulgence of happy sauce that night. But what also shocked me is the post got compliments from two other people. One I'm not too terribly surprised at, but the other I was.

Live and learn I guess!

"Getting to know you, Getting to know all about you"

I expect there to be either be a retraction with an apology or clarification coming to all us "men with the emotional depth of a tea spoon" who are "slow on the uptake." Its the next most logical move to make in this "game" of life and love.

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon Feb 08, 2010 11:23 am

I have to agree with Spot there Skittles. And live in the now, enjoy your friend for what you have. You would feel awful if he ever thought you ruined his chance with the "other girl" be his friend maybe one day he will see what you feel for him, maybe he won't but right now... he is your friend.

Anything else could be perceived as deceitful you don't want him to think that of you.

Omni_Skittles · Post by **Omni_Skittles** » Mon Feb 08, 2010 5:55 pm

spot;1288828 wrote: Just concentrate on finishing your course, skittles. Nobody out there is worth the distraction they'll cause you.
Now THAT is good advice!

i needed that lol

Omni_Skittles · Post by **Omni_Skittles** » Mon Feb 08, 2010 5:56 pm

minks;1288955 wrote: I have to agree with Spot there Skittles. And live in the now, enjoy your friend for what you have. You would feel awful if he ever thought you ruined his chance with the "other girl" be his friend maybe one day he will see what you feel for him, maybe he won't but right now... he is your friend.

Anything else could be perceived as deceitful you don't want him to think that of you.Exactly... So how about i just be a friend and get this stupid research paper written??? Where were ya'll this weekend when i needed that???

Omni_Skittles · Post by **Omni_Skittles** » Mon Feb 08, 2010 6:01 pm

southern yankee;1288813 wrote: it's hard when you are young:-4
lol yes... yes it is. I can't wait until i'm older and i can just look back and laugh at myself and my childishness lol oh BTW i've almost lived 2 decades

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Feb 09, 2010 8:18 am

Omni_Skittles;1289036 wrote: Exactly... So how about i just be a friend and get this stupid research paper written??? Where were ya'll this weekend when i needed that???

Oh Skittles sorry we weren't there to help you with your paper. What are you writing about? I hope you get a good mark on it.

I can't believe you are almost 20 geeze that is crazy, when did you first join here ??? Time flies. (glad I don't age that fast :yh_rotfl)

Post by **spot** » Tue Feb 09, 2010 8:35 am

minks;1289130 wrote: I can't believe you are almost 20 geeze that is crazy, when did you first join here ??? Time flies. (glad I don't age that fast :yh_rotfl)

She's on her second account, she's been on FG longer than I have. Mind you, I was as sensible as skittles back when I was a lad, I've no idea where it went. I should be a perilous warning to you all.

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Feb 09, 2010 8:38 am

spot;1289134 wrote: She's on her second account, she's been on FG longer than I have. Mind you, I was as sensible as skittles back when I was a lad, I've no idea where it went. I should be a perilous warning to you all.

(psssst spot, I know she is on her second account hehehehe)

I think she joined shortly after I did that was why I was inquiring.

Ahahaha we have been warned....

Post by **spot** » Tue Feb 09, 2010 8:40 am

minks;1289137 wrote: (psssst spot, I know she is on her second account hehehehe)

I think she joined shortly after I did that was why I was inquiring.

I don't think you can expect the poor girl to remember when she joined with any precision, she was scarcely out of short trousers back then.

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Feb 09, 2010 8:44 am

spot;1289139 wrote: I don't think you can expect the poor girl to remember when she joined with any precision, she was scarcely out of short trousers back then.

yep that is what I thought too I think she was about 14ish maybe a little older

Omni_Skittles · Post by **Omni_Skittles** » Tue Feb 09, 2010 11:59 am

minks;1289141 wrote: yep that is what I thought too I think she was about 14ish maybe a little older

yea lol my name used to be skittles 2004... so i was 14 going on 15... hahaha that's too funny and yea... i'm almost 20... lol the times

Omni_Skittles · Post by **Omni_Skittles** » Tue Feb 09, 2010 11:59 am

spot;1289134 wrote: She's on her second account, she's been on FG longer than I have. Mind you, I was as sensible as skittles back when I was a lad, I've no idea where it went. I should be a perilous warning to you all.wow... I kind of remember that...

Sensible? is that a joke? ha

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Feb 09, 2010 1:28 pm

Omni_Skittles;1289180 wrote: yea lol my name used to be skittles 2004... so i was 14 going on 15... hahaha that's too funny and yea... i'm almost 20... lol the times

well girl it's always nice to see you when you come in and post.

you fall in between my daughters ages...one is 19 the other is 22 don't rush getting old enjoy life. Bills and responsibilities are he|| :yh_rotfl

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Tue Feb 09, 2010 1:52 pm

Skittles

Good to see you.. Sorry for jumping in so late, I've been in Vegas.

Now that we found out your all grown up - your still asking the same question.??

Hopefully, before your OLD, you'll figure it out.

This is not to be taken as a nasty comment - it's the fact we've discussed this situation/relationship.

It's very nice to have a close male friend - but Dear that's all it ever will be

Friends.

Patsy

Omni_Skittles · Post by **Omni_Skittles** » Wed Feb 10, 2010 10:59 am

Patsy Warnick;1289199 wrote: Skittles

Good to see you.. Sorry for jumping in so late, I've been in Vegas.

Now that we found out your all grown up - your still asking the same question.??

Hopefully, before your OLD, you'll figure it out.

This is not to be taken as a nasty comment - it's the fact we've discussed this situation/relationship.

It's very nice to have a close male friend - but Dear that's all it ever will be

Friends.

Patsylol so i have until like i'm 80 to figure that out?

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Wed Feb 10, 2010 3:54 pm

have you spoken to him yet?

Omni_Skittles · Post by **Omni_Skittles** » Thu Feb 11, 2010 1:05 am

Odie;1289471 wrote: have you spoken to him yet?Well, I went to his house and ate dinner with his family and watched 24 and chilled out with his momma while he played the piano for us... but no, that subject never came up.....

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Thu Feb 11, 2010 9:57 am

Omni_Skittles;1289556 wrote: Well, I went to his house and ate dinner with his family and watched 24 and chilled out with his momma while he played the piano for us... but no, that subject never came up.....

you snooze, you loose!:yh_rotfl