A Texas valentine poem

[hoppy]

T. Gomer Jones, Ph.D. Regents Distinguished Professor of Poetry and Poultry Science Texas A & M University College Station, Texas



Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue,

And I am so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like corn silk aflapping in the breeze,

Softer than Blue's, and without all them fleas.

Yore move like the bass, which excite me in May.

Yore ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway.

Yore as satisfy'n as okry jist afry'n in the pan.

Yore is as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can.

Yore have som'a yore teeth, for which I am proud;

I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions, when yore shave under yore arms,

Well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work, they all want to know,

What I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape yore there fer yore man,

To patch up life's troubles and fix what yore can.

Yore as cute as a June bug abuzzin' overhead.

Yore ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt,

Yore spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt.

When yore hold me real tight like a padded gun rack,

My life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion is perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'.

Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank,

We go together like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day;

They git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way.

Some men git roses on that special day

From the cooler at Kroger. "That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.

"Diamonds is forever," they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey, these won't do.

Cause yore too special, you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,

More useful than diamonds...IT'S A NEW TROLLIN' MOTOR!!

[fuzzywuzzy]

:wah::wah::wah::wah:

[G#Gill]

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

[ZAP]

Hilarious!!

[Omni_Skittles]

oh... wow...

[along-for-the-ride]

:wah: Thanks for sharing, Hoppy.

Now.......it's Q and A Time:

Question and Answer Valentine Jokes

Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?

A: Forget-me-nuts.

Q: What did the valentine card say to the stamp?

A: Stick with me and we'll go places!

Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?

A: I'm stuck on you.

Q: Who sends a thousand valentines cards signed', guess who' ?

A: A divorce lawyer.

Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?

A: You turn me on.

Q: Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?

A: No, but they had an apple.

Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?

A: Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?

Q: What did one snake say to the other snake?

A: Give me a little hug and a hiss, honey.

Knock, Knock,

Who's there?

Olive

Olive who?

Olive you!

Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?

A: Because it couldn't get a date.

Q: What is a ram's favourite song on February 14th?

A: I only have eyes for ewe, dear

Q: What travels around the world but stays in one corner?

A: A stamp.

Q: What happens when you fall in love with a French chef?

A: You get buttered up.

Q: What is a vampire's sweetheart called?

A: His ghoul-friend.

Q: If your aunt ran off to get married, what would you call her?

A: Antelope.