health

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 7:54 pm

i am writing this late at night on purpose because no-one is around and i can be a big cry-baby. i did email admin to ask for a 'health' forum. there are people here with cancer and needing transplants, and all sorts of heath problems. i am embarrassed to bring up what i am weeping about. i don't want to whine, that's not me. but here i am. i, in 9 months have had a major heart attack. two strokes. a brain aneurysm. now, on friday sept 16 a specialist has said i have COPD and i'm gonna die. before this i was perfectly strong and healthy and kicking ass the night before my heart attack. i am in shock. i am depressed. my whole life was contingent on being superwoman. i am not accepting this. if you have health worries, come here and let it out. talk about it. get support. i will let go right now---I NEVER WAS SICK IN MY LIFE AND I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS AND I WANT TO JUST RUN AWAY AND GO TO ENGLAND. ...thanks. :-1 crybaby.

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 8:01 pm

LC, I thought COPD, while serious, can be managed and controlled now?

Have you gotten any inhalation therapy? Any oxygen, even?

Big hugs.

Man, if it weren't for bad luck you wouldn't have no luck atall!

It's totally unfair!

:-1

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 8:13 pm

LC, :-4

I understand your depression, and your concerns.. but your not going to die. It will require you taking care of yourself, and making many life changes.. I know your down, and bummed.. but none of us get out of this alive.

It's ok sweetie to be sad, and cry, but you must pull yourself up once again, and face this head on.. You have everything to live for... Bothwell would say the same thing to you.. Your a fighter, and a strong person. You can deal with this just like you have dealt with your other health issues..

You have my support always.. I will do what ever is necessary to help you through this as always.. Take some time and cry it out.. thats OK..

But I know deep down you have what it take to deal with this.. I just know you do.

COPD is treatable and can be managed with medication.. please do as your physician tells you, and you can be comfortable, and manage this..

XOXOXO

CARLA :-4

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 8:14 pm

Val...thanks hon...nobody said it would be fair. this doc wants another big workup at hospital. so i don't know yet what will be prescribed. i am doing some reading online and talking to Both about what to do.life is too damn short. i would rather leave here and be with him than spend years as some invalid. i may never be able to do my job again.

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 8:16 pm

Carla, thankyou honey. :-4 i'll be better tomorrow.

orangesox1 · Post by **orangesox1** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 8:26 pm

Hi LC

From the little I know it seems like it can be managed, I don't know why your Dr would day you were going to die, only God knows that.

I and I know many of us here in FG will be praying for you regulary, please keep us informed on how your going.

Lots of hugs going out to you.

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 8:37 pm

orangesox1 wrote: Hi LC

From the little I know it seems like it can be managed, I don't know why your Dr would day you were going to die, only God knows that.

I and I know many of us here in FG will be praying for you regulary, please keep us informed on how your going.

Lots of hugs going out to you.you are a kind and sweet person...thankyou. sincerely.

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 8:47 pm

LC, :-4

Bothwell is your knight in shinning armour, he will move heaven and earth so you both can be together, you will be together.

Now until that happens you have to take care of your health issue with the same skills you used to preform you job as a COP. Stop at nothing to insure your getting the best care, and medication, it will make all the difference in the world. You have to be on board with this or it will not work.

You have the skills to take this head on... your LADYCOP one of the toughest people I know. You can't reflect back now and wonder how you got from healthy to not so healthy.. It just happened and you must meet the challange head on so you can feel better.. and have a wonderful life with BOTHWELL..

I'm here for you always... when ever you need a shoulder to lean on.. I know how hard this is for you.. I have complete faith in your ability to deal with this, just like you have dealt with everything life has thrown at you..

LOVE YOU SWEETIE..:-4 :-4

XOXOXOXO

CARLA

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 8:56 pm

....:-1 ... thanks honey. i just cannot speak.

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 9:00 pm

I know, I know..:-1 :-1 Bothwell will take care of you, not to worry kiddo.. He is the man in kilts, or is it harris tweed..

I have just a much faith in him, as I do you... THIS WILL BE OK.. have I ever steered you wrong.. :-4

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 9:11 pm

flopstock wrote: Tell me it's the same a$$wipe that did it to you last time and we are going to start having serious issues with him...

You are perhaps one of the strongest willed women I have met online LC. And whatever you have to do, you will do. There just aint no quit in you girl!

And hell yeah you're weepy, REAL WOMEN aren't afraid to cry, it rejuvenates us. Makes us stronger. Hell girl, I cried when I read your post.

I just wanta hug ya:-1Flop...thankyou, i like you so much.

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 9:18 pm

O Boy LC---------don't blame ya for being a bit depressed, you're entitled. But I suspect that after a weep or two you will suck it up and carry on and beat what ever health problems ya got, cause you are one strong willed lady that gots lots of fight in her.

Positive thoughts to you,

Lon

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 9:25 pm

Lon wrote: O Boy LC---------don't blame ya for being a bit depressed, you're entitled. But I suspect that after a weep or two you will suck it up and carry on and beat what ever health problems ya got, cause you are one strong willed lady that gots lots of fight in her.

Positive thoughts to you,

Lonthankyou Lon....you are a wise man and i will listen to you.

mominiowa · Post by **mominiowa** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 10:15 pm

Oh LC...:-4 Hang tight girl - I will be praying for you and knowing you are strong enough for ANYTHING...You are a beautiful person, friend...and if you need to cry - I got the tissues. Just think about all the shoulders you have here at the FG...and what open arms Both has for you...I will be thinking of you daily..Keep us posted when you know more and if you don't like the first Doc - go to another, and another.......Just believe in yourself and be strong...when you feel you can't -- look to your family and friends--your man and your God...:-4

Clint · Post by **Clint** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 11:52 pm

Lady Cop, You've been on my mind since yesterday. I just didn't think things were right somehow. I just now came across this disturbing news. You will be in my prayers.

My Dad was 100% disabled because of his heart when he was 37. He was told he wouldn't make it to 40. He just died this April at 79. Between 40 and 79 he and mother owned and operated three different motels, built a bakery and did some land development. He was strong like you are strong.

Think of this as an opportunity to take on a crook that's trying to steal your joy. Put the cuffs on it and make sure it doesn't get away with being a big shot in your life.

I just found out I have Lupus and its supposed to change my life. Okay, I'll make some changes but I'm not giving up. I can't imagine that you will either.

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 5:36 am

I am so sad to hear this news LC, and i can understand why you are feeling so low at the moment.

As Clint says, you have to fight this bugger and slap it to kingdom come.

I'm sorry that i cant just nip round to give you a big hug, but i am thinking about you and i send to you

a great big virtual hug and bunch of sweet smelling flowers xoxoxoxo

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 7:48 am

Mom, Clint, Abbey and Far....:yh_flower :yh_flower :yh_flower your comments as well as all the comments here give me determination. i thank you. and Mom, i have no business whining when i know what you have endured. i am going to fight this bitch. done crying. blessings on everyone here. :-4

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 8:22 am

My thoughts and prayers are with you LC. You are one of the most strong willed women I have ever known, and I know that everyone here would agree with me on that. Remember to keep smiling and stay positive.

And if you ever feel the need to cry, do so, there is nothing wrong with letting it out. Just don't let your problems get to you and believe within yourself that everything is gonna be fine.

I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say that we all wish u well and to keep on being strong!! :-6

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 8:23 am

lady cop wrote: i am going to fight this bitch. done crying.
'Bout f***in' time I heard you say that. :-4

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 9:33 am

LC, you are not a crybaby-you just have not been feeling well with these big health issues. You need to take care of yourself, so you can feel better, make Bothwell feel better that you're ok, and us too! Take the durn medcine, no one likes it, but it is necessary for you to get better. You can tell us when you're not feeling better-you always one step ahead of the rest of us who don't say a thing! It is theraputic, and will help you in the long run.:-4

theia · Post by **theia** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 9:47 am

What more can I add to what everyone else has said? Perhaps just to repeat that I know you will get through all this, in fact you are getting through it. All power to you, LC. And love.

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 10:19 am

hey BR Chonsi and Theia...thankyou , you really do help. :-4 .... now i am going to approach this the way i have done all my life...educate myself completely about this thing. i will know more about my status after a complete workup which should be soon. then i'm going to treat it like some scumbag who thinks he can get over on me!

...and i will try to forgive myself when i feel scared or weepy. not things i am used to.

actionfigurestepho · Post by **actionfigurestepho** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 1:34 pm

LC, I'm so sorry to hear your news and I'm not quite sure what to say except that it's OK to be depressed and want to smash things right now, and I know that you're going to be OK because you're very pro-active and you don't take crap from anyone or anything. I hope your work-ups go well...remember that things are usually never as bad as we're worried they'll be. I don't see you having to leave your job anytime soon. You're in my prayers. *hugs*

Clint · Post by **Clint** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 1:47 pm

lady cop wrote: hey BR Chonsi and Theia...thankyou , you really do help. :-4 .... now i am going to approach this the way i have done all my life...educate myself completely about this thing. i will know more about my status after a complete workup which should be soon. then i'm going to treat it like some scumbag who thinks he can get over on me!

...and i will try to forgive myself when i feel scared or weepy. not things i am used to.

Alright! Now yer talkin. Sounds like LC again.

BTW...weep away...it's the way we were made. It helps us get through things.

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 2:07 pm

Stepho, thanks for very useful link you sent! :-6 and Clint, you always do encourage people! ...i had to laugh, Bothwell said i would get some disease with the word COP in it :wah: LOL........... thanks guys.xoxoxox

pina · Post by **pina** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 2:11 pm

Nothing much more I can add, everyone has said just what I would have, be strong for yourself..... Use all the love and care that you give to everybody else and apply it to yourself for a change, and with your strength you should get through, go be with bothwell as soon as possible and the love you have between you will heal all. :-4

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 3:28 am

Lc I do understand about being strong your whole life and then having health issues. Im 53 never stepped my foot in a doctors office. Believed I was invincible.

I had a thing the size of a pencil eraser on my arm. It was itchy. I thought it was a bite. Was advised to have it removed. The Dr. called to say it was Melanoma.

MELAWHATA???? Whats the big deal? Its a very big deal. Nine inch frankenstein scar on my arm. Lymph nodes out. Everything was clean. The drs are still saying ,

"You have a 90% chance of surviving 5 years. Ive been very depressed. Catapulted to a place Ive never been before. However, as Clint said. There are people who live to be 99 with things that were supposed to take their lives. So much power in mental energy and outlook on life. These incidences are a chance to be reminded how incredibly wonderful living is. You have love on your side also. That is the greatest healer. Not knowing you at all... I would say if you possibly can.. pack your bags and leave for England tomorrow. Because it has always sounded like thats where you want to be... My incident got me to put my business for Georgia up for sale. I have hated it here for 2 years now. I am making plans to return to Virginia. I want to be with my children, my grandchildren and my family and friends. Ive cried a lot. Ive bargained with God. On the good days I realize its all up to me. Toughest circumstances Ive had to handle. And Ive had some very tough situations to deal with. The strong are the best candidates to deal with frightening news. Because as Im sure youve always been... we can fight and be an inspiration to others to endure and survive. Youll do what your supposed to do, and youll be OK. I think Ill take my own advice today, and pin it on a bulletin board in front of my face.

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 4:53 am

Pina, thankyou so much.

...and Weeder you are an inspiration. i suspect we could relate to each other very very well! i was just whining to Bothwell on the phone that i have to spend all afternoon today at the hospital for a workup. i HATE it! i hate all of it! like you, i never had to go to a doctor. that depression is something it took me 9 months to admit, even to myself. i'm going to read your post several times today too! maybe we can hang in there together. :yh_flower :yh_flower :yh_flower one thing i did tell myself a little while back, God saves the best for last. maybe He wanted me to get out of a dangerous job and have love. from violence to sweetness. that is a blessing and a joy. your purpose will reveal itself too. i am glad you're going home, you were never happy in Ga. stay in touch please! i would like to hear you are healthy and happy. ...oh, and you are never too old to fall in love or for a wedding.

Bothwell · Post by **Bothwell** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 7:04 am

Try not to shoot any medical personnel if you can help it:)

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 7:19 am

[quote=Bothwell]Try not to shoot any medical personnel if you can help it:)LOL...last time i went to ER in uniform the doc was hurting me a LOT, i had hurt my knee on duty (my sgt. made me go)...so i said "see that 45 buster?"....i never saw him again! :wah:

theia · Post by **theia** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 7:25 am

I hope it all goes well for you this afternoon, LC.

Is "workup" a check up, or tests?

Whatever, I'm truly wishing you well with it all.

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 7:29 am

theia wrote: I hope it all goes well for you this afternoon, LC.

Is "workup" a check up, or tests?

Whatever, I'm truly wishing you well with it all.you are a very kind nice lady!! it's a full pulmonary workup and miserable pain in the arse frankly! you have to blow a lot, which i used to be good at.

:wah:

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 7:34 am

lady cop wrote: you are a very kind nice lady!! it's a full pulmonary workup and miserable pain in the arse frankly! you have to blow a lot, which i used to be good at.

:wah: Still are by all accounts!!

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 7:40 am

abbey wrote: Still are by all accounts!!well we all have our little talents.

you have to love what you do to be good at it.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 10:21 am

Abbey, LC....you 2 are sick. :yh_rotfl

Best of luck today, LC, I'm sending positive vibes your way. :yh_hugs

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 12:01 pm

LC, Kick ass and take names.. You can do this..:-4 :-4

theia · Post by **theia** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 11:16 pm

How did you get on, LC?

(I appreciate it's late at night there and I don't expect to know until later, but I was just wondering, before I get ready to go off to work)

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 11:48 pm

BabyRider wrote: Abbey, LC....you 2 are sick. :yh_rotfl
:-2 And your point is??

pink princess · Post by **pink princess** » Tue Sep 27, 2005 5:26 am

i dont know im depressed, but im definitely in a place of adjustment, i got over being ill last time and thought if i believed hard enough that it wouldnt happen again..... but it did

i cant stop it happening but ive a heck of a lot of life left and the thought of having to go through it for the next 50/60 years makes me wonder whether its worth it, what else will go wrong with me in that time, its not exactly a great start to life

but then i kinda feel bad when i think about kids of like 5yrs old going through cancer and stuff

im struggling but i have the love of a good man and ill get there...... eventually, as will you LC

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Tue Sep 27, 2005 6:41 am

theia wrote: How did you get on, LC?

(I appreciate it's late at night there and I don't expect to know until later, but I was just wondering, before I get ready to go off to work)i hate to admit, but i cancelled until late thursday. i just could not face it. couldn't do it. then i got a call that a Col. and Lt. are visiting me today at 3 PM and i have no damn clue what this means.

actionfigurestepho · Post by **actionfigurestepho** » Tue Sep 27, 2005 7:03 am

You'll have to tell us how this new development goes.

pink princess · Post by **pink princess** » Wed Sep 28, 2005 7:11 am

i think i fibbed above..... i dont know if im depressed, im certainly not a manic depressive or anything like that but im not all that happy either

ive had an anger inside me for the last 2 years which has kinda shocked me, that seems to be working its way out now but im left with a feeling of misery instead! i cant stop thinking about being ill and whats the point of it all etc

im so cynical, the guy at the physio totally saw through me, i was kinda shocked tbh, he knew i was nervous and picked me out as being cynical on life etc and i thought how do i portray myself? ive had people say to me before 'why do you always put yourself down' and for once im going to be honest, its because im seeking approval, i lack a confidence in me about me and so i seek reassurance from others, pathetic i know

people cant normally see through me so maybe its some kind of fate this physio thing, maybe hes gonna help me work through some other stuff...... strange how strangers can affect one so....

i feel alone, like noone else gets how im feeling, noone else understands me being ill and i feel like ive no right to whinge and am just burdoning everyone.....

hmmm.... possibly the most honest post ive ever made

pink princess · Post by **pink princess** » Wed Sep 28, 2005 7:13 am

and do you know what else bugs me? im always the one people like but never the one at the top, its been like it all my life, what is it about me that makes me always be 3rd or 4th???

see now im just being self-obsessed and and all sort of other similar things....

pink princess · Post by **pink princess** » Wed Sep 28, 2005 8:57 am

im starting to work this out a little.....

(i do a lot of self-analysing, not the most healthy thing in the world to do i know!)

i figure my lack of self belief and confidence comes from when i was a kid, my parents left me very much to my own, my mum was ill for most my childhood and still is and my dad was always busy rushing round after her, my brothers were always better than me and i always felt that they were more special than me

so i used to makie extra efforts to do things but they always went unseen, my brothers who did nothing the sun still shone and its exactly the same now

my parents have never lent me any money and have told me they arent paying any of my wedding, but they put both my brothers through uni and one whos just got a house whos wasted his money away (which mum and dad know) they gave Ã‚£1000 to.... when i said so wheres mine for my wedding mum said to me that they were contributing to his future and hed gone to uni so they wanted him to have as mumch opportunity as possible...... because i didnt go to uni i am nothing in my parents eyes, i have wasted my life and am a dissapointment....

i have issues!!

not gonna let them get me though, ill get through them and in 5 years time im sure ill have new issues and learnt many things from the old ones to help me on my way (even if i didnt go to uni!)

(btw - my neck REALLY hurts!)

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Wed Sep 28, 2005 9:20 am

pink princess wrote: hmmm.... possibly the most honest post ive ever made
I'm so proud! :yh_hugs

pink princess wrote: im starting to work this out a little.....

(i do a lot of self-analysing, not the most healthy thing in the world to do i know!)

Self-analysis is healthy. Self-deprication might not be.

pink princess wrote: i figure my lack of self belief and confidence comes from when i was a kid, my parents left me very much to my own, my mum was ill for most my childhood and still is and my dad was always busy rushing round after her, my brothers were always better than me and i always felt that they were more special than me

so i used to makie extra efforts to do things but they always went unseen, my brothers who did nothing the sun still shone and its exactly the same now

my parents have never lent me any money and have told me they arent paying any of my wedding, but they put both my brothers through uni and one whos just got a house whos wasted his money away (which mum and dad know) they gave Ã‚£1000 to.... when i said so wheres mine for my wedding mum said to me that they were contributing to his future and hed gone to uni so they wanted him to have as mumch opportunity as possible...... because i didnt go to uni i am nothing in my parents eyes, i have wasted my life and am a dissapointment....

i have issues!!

not gonna let them get me though, ill get through them and in 5 years time im sure ill have new issues and learnt many things from the old ones to help me on my way (even if i didnt go to uni!)

(btw - my neck REALLY hurts!)
That's growing pains. Next you're back will itch.

Life's a journey, right? Try to think of these frustrations you mention as rocks in the road. You can try to pound on them or move them out of the way, or you can accept that they are there, immovable, and go around them. Roads curve, y'know.

Oh, and start capitalizing your personal pronoun 'I'. You might find the extra effort to be a little fulfilling.

actionfigurestepho · Post by **actionfigurestepho** » Wed Sep 28, 2005 9:26 am

pink princess wrote: and do you know what else bugs me? im always the one people like but never the one at the top, its been like it all my life, what is it about me that makes me always be 3rd or 4th???

Maybe it's because you're simply too marvelous to be included in the petty drama and jealousy that comes with the so-called "number one" slot. Of course, I'm sure you're more than number one to your fiance.:-4

theia · Post by **theia** » Wed Sep 28, 2005 9:35 am

[QUOTE=Accountable

Life's a journey, right? Try to think of these frustrations you mention as rocks in the road. You can try to pound on them or move them out of the way, or you can accept that they are there, immovable, and go around them. Roads curve, y'know.

That is brilliant, Acc. I know it was meant for Pink but it was just what I needed to hear. Thank you :-6

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Wed Sep 28, 2005 11:02 am

My pleasure, dear. :-6