As a black father and adopted white daughter, Mark Riding and Katie O'Dea-Smith are a sight at best surprising, and at worst so perplexing that people feel compelled to respond.
Without any deep thought or soul searching, what are YOUR first reactions to this story ?
Black adopting White kids
Black adopting White kids
I thought I knew more than this until I opened my mouth
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Oscar Namechange
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Black adopting White kids
I find It very sad that they are treated this way.
I came within a whisker of adopting a Nigerian baby called Sunni myself back In the early 80's. The only reason we didn't was due to my studying at the time and my ex working exceptional long hours.
I fostered him very briefly when he was 14 weeks old and I remember the day my family arrived to see the new baby. They walked Into my lounge where this very black baby was propped up on the sofa gurgling happilly and there was not a flicker of shock or rejection In their faces... In fact, they loved him. My late sister was so dissapointed that we felt we could not give him our tull attention due to commitments because she couldn't wait to take him out and show him off.
By luck, Sunni was taken In by my neighbours who had other adopted black babies and children and I got to see him grow.
Children are children not colours.
I came within a whisker of adopting a Nigerian baby called Sunni myself back In the early 80's. The only reason we didn't was due to my studying at the time and my ex working exceptional long hours.
I fostered him very briefly when he was 14 weeks old and I remember the day my family arrived to see the new baby. They walked Into my lounge where this very black baby was propped up on the sofa gurgling happilly and there was not a flicker of shock or rejection In their faces... In fact, they loved him. My late sister was so dissapointed that we felt we could not give him our tull attention due to commitments because she couldn't wait to take him out and show him off.
By luck, Sunni was taken In by my neighbours who had other adopted black babies and children and I got to see him grow.
Children are children not colours.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
Black adopting White kids
I can't say that I thought any different than I would over reading any other adoption story. I'm certain they knew the special difficulties this particular adoption would create for them but apparently they decided to rise to the challenge.
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Betty Boop
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Black adopting White kids
tabby;1373858 wrote: I can't say that I thought any different than I would over reading any other adoption story. I'm certain they knew the special difficulties this particular adoption would create for them but apparently they decided to rise to the challenge.
It's incredibly sad that it is such a challenge though.
As Oscar said, a child is a child no matter what.
It's incredibly sad that it is such a challenge though.
As Oscar said, a child is a child no matter what.
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chonsigirl
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Black adopting White kids
I've heard of them before, being from Baltimore and they were in the news before when this started. I do not see why there should be any problem whatsoever-a child is loved with a new family, how wonderful that is. Why should people have anything to say but positive things-the best of both worlds, and lots of love.
It annoyed me to no end as a child, when people would stop and ask if my little Korean sister was my friend from down the street. Why would people even comment, except to say something positive? She grew up totally American, never wanted to know her roots. My Korean brother did, and found them. What mattered was-they were loved, have a family-or two for my brother (and lucky guy, always twice the Christmas presents, we still razz him about that)
It annoyed me to no end as a child, when people would stop and ask if my little Korean sister was my friend from down the street. Why would people even comment, except to say something positive? She grew up totally American, never wanted to know her roots. My Korean brother did, and found them. What mattered was-they were loved, have a family-or two for my brother (and lucky guy, always twice the Christmas presents, we still razz him about that)
Black adopting White kids
The article says that the numbers of adoptions of non-black children by black families "remain frozen - at near zero." So maybe onlookers are unused to seeing similar scenarios and why they appear flummoxed and show well intentioned but unnecessary concern?
Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answers...Rainer Maria Rilke
Black adopting White kids
Well.................I see it from the other side.
Children need to know where they come from.
Same race adopted children go through the trauma of needing to discover their roots, it is nothing about the care and love they are shown during their upbringing.
Add different ethnicity to mix and the problems are multiplied greatly.
I wish it were not so, but the world is what it is, and we have to deal with that, not what we would like it to be.
This child was placed with her adopted parents as a last resort, and better with them than not, but to disregard ethnicity among prospective adoptive parents is the wrong way to go, in my humble opinion.
For some background information, I have an adopted black African daughter, we get on very well, but she has her mother as an anchor or guide to her roots, I would be of no use at all realistically.
Children need to know where they come from.
Same race adopted children go through the trauma of needing to discover their roots, it is nothing about the care and love they are shown during their upbringing.
Add different ethnicity to mix and the problems are multiplied greatly.
I wish it were not so, but the world is what it is, and we have to deal with that, not what we would like it to be.
This child was placed with her adopted parents as a last resort, and better with them than not, but to disregard ethnicity among prospective adoptive parents is the wrong way to go, in my humble opinion.
For some background information, I have an adopted black African daughter, we get on very well, but she has her mother as an anchor or guide to her roots, I would be of no use at all realistically.
I thought I knew more than this until I opened my mouth
Black adopting White kids
theia;1373866 wrote: The article says that the numbers of adoptions of non-black children by black families "remain frozen - at near zero." So maybe onlookers are unused to seeing similar scenarios and why they appear flummoxed and show well intentioned but unnecessary concern?
The question is a big WHY ?
And THAT is the problem.
The question is a big WHY ?
And THAT is the problem.
I thought I knew more than this until I opened my mouth
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Oscar Namechange
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- Joined: Wed Jul 30, 2008 9:26 am
Black adopting White kids
Bruv;1373871 wrote: Well.................I see it from the other side.
Children need to know where they come from.
Same race adopted children go through the trauma of needing to discover their roots, it is nothing about the care and love they are shown during their upbringing.
Add different ethnicity to mix and the problems are multiplied greatly.
I wish it were not so, but the world is what it is, and we have to deal with that, not what we would like it to be.
This child was placed with her adopted parents as a last resort, and better with them than not, but to disregard ethnicity among prospective adoptive parents is the wrong way to go, in my humble opinion.
For some background information, I have an adopted black African daughter, we get on very well, but she has her mother as an anchor or guide to her roots, I would be of no use at all realistically.
Well said.
Children need to know where they come from.
Same race adopted children go through the trauma of needing to discover their roots, it is nothing about the care and love they are shown during their upbringing.
Add different ethnicity to mix and the problems are multiplied greatly.
I wish it were not so, but the world is what it is, and we have to deal with that, not what we would like it to be.
This child was placed with her adopted parents as a last resort, and better with them than not, but to disregard ethnicity among prospective adoptive parents is the wrong way to go, in my humble opinion.
For some background information, I have an adopted black African daughter, we get on very well, but she has her mother as an anchor or guide to her roots, I would be of no use at all realistically.
Well said.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
Black adopting White kids
Bruv;1373872 wrote: The question is a big WHY ?
And THAT is the problem.
Why what? The "frozen" numbers of adoptions or the reactions of the onlookers?
And THAT is the problem.
Why what? The "frozen" numbers of adoptions or the reactions of the onlookers?
Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answers...Rainer Maria Rilke
Black adopting White kids
Both really.
The reaction might be the cause of the reluctance to adopt.
I seriously believe we are at least decades away from total acceptance of mixed race marriage, let alone mixed race adoption.
The reaction might be the cause of the reluctance to adopt.
I seriously believe we are at least decades away from total acceptance of mixed race marriage, let alone mixed race adoption.
I thought I knew more than this until I opened my mouth
Black adopting White kids
theia;1373866 wrote: The article says that the numbers of adoptions of non-black children by black families "remain frozen - at near zero." So maybe onlookers are unused to seeing similar scenarios and why they appear flummoxed and show well intentioned but unnecessary concern?
That was my thought as well.
This was kind of interesting: ...The former president of the Baltimore chapter of the National Association of Black Social Workers, she joined her colleagues in condemning the adoption of black children by white families as "cultural genocide"—a position she still holds in theory, if not in practice...
So the family is upset that they're treated differently than a white family that adopts a black child but the grandmother thinks it's wrong to have black children adopted into white families. Hmmm...
That was my thought as well.
This was kind of interesting: ...The former president of the Baltimore chapter of the National Association of Black Social Workers, she joined her colleagues in condemning the adoption of black children by white families as "cultural genocide"—a position she still holds in theory, if not in practice...
So the family is upset that they're treated differently than a white family that adopts a black child but the grandmother thinks it's wrong to have black children adopted into white families. Hmmm...
Black adopting White kids
Bruv;1373875 wrote: Both really.
The reaction might be the cause of the reluctance to adopt.
I seriously believe we are at least decades away from total acceptance of mixed race marriage, let alone mixed race adoption.
I've worked with many women that have bi-racial children and I never asked if their children were adopted or gasp in horror when I find out they're married to a black guy. That's the case with most of the people I know, we're not all bigots and racists in this country.
The reaction might be the cause of the reluctance to adopt.
I seriously believe we are at least decades away from total acceptance of mixed race marriage, let alone mixed race adoption.
I've worked with many women that have bi-racial children and I never asked if their children were adopted or gasp in horror when I find out they're married to a black guy. That's the case with most of the people I know, we're not all bigots and racists in this country.
Black adopting White kids
SnoozeAgain;1373883 wrote: That was my thought as well.
This was kind of interesting:
So the family is upset that they're treated differently than a white family that adopts a black child but the grandmother thinks it's wrong to have black children adopted into white families. Hmmm...
Hmmm....what ?
She is adult enough to want the best for the child. And has taken on a white child that needs adoption, understanding it is not ideal
She doesn't agree with mixed race adoption, either way around, and being close to the problems we ought to give respect to her opinion.
This was kind of interesting:
So the family is upset that they're treated differently than a white family that adopts a black child but the grandmother thinks it's wrong to have black children adopted into white families. Hmmm...
Hmmm....what ?
She is adult enough to want the best for the child. And has taken on a white child that needs adoption, understanding it is not ideal
She doesn't agree with mixed race adoption, either way around, and being close to the problems we ought to give respect to her opinion.
I thought I knew more than this until I opened my mouth
Black adopting White kids
SnoozeAgain;1373884 wrote: I've worked with many women that have bi-racial children and I never asked if their children were adopted or gasp in horror when I find out they're married to a black guy. That's the case with most of the people I know, we're not all bigots and racists in this country.
Biracial children are common, but white children adopted by blacks are not.
Peoples reaction to biracial or black children adopted by whites is different to white children adopted by black parents.
Biracial children are common, but white children adopted by blacks are not.
Peoples reaction to biracial or black children adopted by whites is different to white children adopted by black parents.
I thought I knew more than this until I opened my mouth
Black adopting White kids
Bruv;1373888 wrote: Hmmm....what ?
She is adult enough to want the best for the child. And has taken on a white child that needs adoption, understanding it is not ideal
She doesn't agree with mixed race adoption, either way around, and being close to the problems we ought to give respect to her opinion.
So it seems that wanting the best for the child is more important than the race of the adopting parents. I would wholly agree with that.
She is adult enough to want the best for the child. And has taken on a white child that needs adoption, understanding it is not ideal
She doesn't agree with mixed race adoption, either way around, and being close to the problems we ought to give respect to her opinion.
So it seems that wanting the best for the child is more important than the race of the adopting parents. I would wholly agree with that.
Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answers...Rainer Maria Rilke
Black adopting White kids
You mean to tell me that black people adopt children?
Anyone want to guess on the statistics of African Americans kidnapping children compared to a white male whom no one suspects his van is actually a mobile home?
Next time a child is seen with a white man it might be more appropriate to ask if they're ok. Don't worry if the white male is actually there to listen, if he turns out to be harmless he'll no doubt understand. That is of course if he's rational enough to interpret statistics.
Given such statistics then apparently racism hasn't ever been a candidate for resolution.
Anyone want to guess on the statistics of African Americans kidnapping children compared to a white male whom no one suspects his van is actually a mobile home?
Next time a child is seen with a white man it might be more appropriate to ask if they're ok. Don't worry if the white male is actually there to listen, if he turns out to be harmless he'll no doubt understand. That is of course if he's rational enough to interpret statistics.
Given such statistics then apparently racism hasn't ever been a candidate for resolution.
Black adopting White kids
K.Snyder;1373928 wrote: You mean to tell me that black people adopt children?
Anyone want to guess on the statistics of African Americans kidnapping children compared to a white male whom no one suspects his van is actually a mobile home?
Next time a child is seen with a white man it might be more appropriate to ask if they're ok. Don't worry if the white male is actually there to listen, if he turns out to be harmless he'll no doubt understand. That is of course if he's rational enough to interpret statistics.
Given such statistics then apparently racism hasn't ever been a candidate for resolution.
I hope you don't hang about in shopping malls questioning males accompanied by children.
Anyone want to guess on the statistics of African Americans kidnapping children compared to a white male whom no one suspects his van is actually a mobile home?
Next time a child is seen with a white man it might be more appropriate to ask if they're ok. Don't worry if the white male is actually there to listen, if he turns out to be harmless he'll no doubt understand. That is of course if he's rational enough to interpret statistics.
Given such statistics then apparently racism hasn't ever been a candidate for resolution.
I hope you don't hang about in shopping malls questioning males accompanied by children.
I thought I knew more than this until I opened my mouth
Black adopting White kids
Is the story by the guy pictured? If this white guy is hanging out with a white child and a black parent, I would have thought the worst they could have actually experienced would be people wondering why the white guy wasn't helping his own daughter until the daughter is addressing the black man as daddy. Then I think it would be normal for for folks to raise an eyebrow as they mentally adjust themselves.
People are always surprised that my elder daughter (rail thin) is mine. she looks nothing like me. She takes entirely after my ex husbands italian mother.
People are always surprised that my elder daughter (rail thin) is mine. she looks nothing like me. She takes entirely after my ex husbands italian mother.
I expressly forbid the use of any of my posts anywhere outside of FG (with the exception of the incredibly witty 'get a room already' )posted recently.
Folks who'd like to copy my intellectual work should expect to pay me for it.:-6
Folks who'd like to copy my intellectual work should expect to pay me for it.:-6
Black adopting White kids
No flopstock, the picture is of the article writer, but he is not the subject of the piece.
The subject is a black couple who have adopted a white daughter, and the reactions they get.
The subject is a black couple who have adopted a white daughter, and the reactions they get.
I thought I knew more than this until I opened my mouth
Black adopting White kids
It's the African-American man—six feet tall, bearded and wearing a gray hooded sweatshirt—watching the girl's every move. Approaching from behind, he grabs the back of her bicycle seat as she wobbles to a stop
Was he trying to be creepy?
I don't care what color he is but a man in a gray hoodie, watching a little girls (no matter what color the girls is ) every move and grabbing her bicycle seat as she rides by is going to get some attention.
Was he trying to be creepy?
I don't care what color he is but a man in a gray hoodie, watching a little girls (no matter what color the girls is ) every move and grabbing her bicycle seat as she rides by is going to get some attention.
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Oscar Namechange
- Posts: 31840
- Joined: Wed Jul 30, 2008 9:26 am
Black adopting White kids
Bruv;1373875 wrote: Both really.
The reaction might be the cause of the reluctance to adopt.
I seriously believe we are at least decades away from total acceptance of mixed race marriage, let alone mixed race adoption.
The funny thing Is, when we fostered our Nigerian baby, no-one gave a second thought as to how we would have dealt with Issue's In society. At the time, he was just a baby boy needing a home and that's all we thought of.
Yet, I wonder In this day and age how people would have treated me and the baby?
I do believe race has become a far greater Issue In the last 20 years and created problems that were never there In the first place.
Sometimes, I thin that the Leftie Lonnie's who have highlighted race so much have Indeed cretaed the monster we now have to contend with.
The reaction might be the cause of the reluctance to adopt.
I seriously believe we are at least decades away from total acceptance of mixed race marriage, let alone mixed race adoption.
The funny thing Is, when we fostered our Nigerian baby, no-one gave a second thought as to how we would have dealt with Issue's In society. At the time, he was just a baby boy needing a home and that's all we thought of.
Yet, I wonder In this day and age how people would have treated me and the baby?
I do believe race has become a far greater Issue In the last 20 years and created problems that were never there In the first place.
Sometimes, I thin that the Leftie Lonnie's who have highlighted race so much have Indeed cretaed the monster we now have to contend with.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon