The Colour Of Remembrance.

Post by **jones jones** » Sat Dec 03, 2011 10:20 am

Went to a cemetery with a friend today. It was her late mom's birthday. While there I wondered why all the tombstones were of grey or black granite. Isn't it time to change this totally sombre picture and introduce some colour into things?

I mean what is wrong with having a bright pink or lime green tombstone? Obviously one cannot get marble or granite in these colours, but why do tombstones HAVE to be made of these substances?

Resin or fibreglass tombstones would last just as long and they can be coloured.

So would you object to seeing a royal blue or scarlet tombstone in a cemetery and if so ... why?

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sat Dec 03, 2011 10:58 am

jones jones;1377525 wrote: Went to a cemetery with a friend today. It was her late mom's birthday. While there I wondered why all the tombstones were of grey or black granite. Isn't it time to change this totally sombre picture and introduce some colour into things?

I mean what is wrong with having a bright pink or lime green tombstone? Obviously one cannot get marble or granite in these colours, but why do tombstones HAVE to be made of these substances?

Resin or fibreglass tombstones would last just as long and they can be coloured.

So would you object to seeing a royal blue or scarlet tombstone in a cemetery and if so ... why?

My Dad's headstone is rose granite, and Cornish at that. For us it was important that the stone used was from Cornwall. I think you'll find that it's the local councils that restrict what can and can not be displayed on a grave. Ours regularly remove the bright toys and flags that parents place on their little ones graves, I find that sad.

I'm not sure I wish to visit a psychedelic graveyard as you suggest though :wah:

Post by **LarsMac** » Sat Dec 03, 2011 11:14 am

I don't mind, but it seems there are many who do.

My brother bought Mom a pair of flamingo yard ornaments some years back.

For some reason, she loved them. When she left Florida to live with us in Arkansas, she insisted in taking them with her.

She had them in the yard there, much to my wife's chagrin. The only pair of flamingos in Arkansas, I think.

Well, when she passed, we puzzled what to do with them, and decided they should stand guard at her marker.

First, the management at the cemetery made noises about maintenance issue. We set them in moveable pots, and the groundskeepers decided it was oK.

However, several of the neighbors' relatives complained that these things were disrespectful to their kin and insisted that they be removed.

Finally, one day, my sister reported finding pieces of flamingo strewn along the road, and when she got to Mom's site, sure enough, Mom's Flamingos were not there. Someone had tossed them out on the road, where traffic had its way with them.

We complained to the cemetery about the disrespect shown Dear Mother. They purchased a new set of birds (though a tad smaller), and we paid to have them set in the ground in cement, in front of Mom's stone.

We still hear of complaints that they are insulting the residents, but this only from families. None of Mom's neighbors seem to have much to say on the matter.

tabby · Post by **tabby** » Sat Dec 03, 2011 12:40 pm

The cemetery where my father is buried has all flat bronze markers instead of raised headstones but they do allow any sort of ornamentation that you want to leave on a grave site and the place certainly gets festive around the holidays. People leave all sorts of remembrances, from small Christmas trees to lawn ornaments to more traditional floral bouquets and wreaths. It's quite eclectic to say the least. My Dad is in an indoor mausoleum so it's more covered and we're able to leave things that would otherwise be ruined by the weather. Last week we left a Christmas grapevine wreath with a little stuffed reindeer and afterwards we walked around the cemetery admiring the adorned graves. Some are very creative and allow the families to feel like they've included their deceased loved ones in the Christmas festivities.

LarsMac, that was a rotten thing for anyone to do and people certainly can lose their perspective. Glad you got more pink flamingos and cemented them down!

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Sat Dec 03, 2011 1:06 pm

I'll be cremated and my ashes scattered in San Francisco Bay. Maybe they can mix my ashes with colorful confetti.

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Sat Dec 03, 2011 4:19 pm

I like the idea of color - headstones/ markers are usually flat for maintenance purpose. Our cemetary will allow decorations for only a certain period of time & then they are to be removed - or they will throw them away.

Color would be a nice choice.

Patsy

theia · Post by **theia** » Sat Dec 03, 2011 4:46 pm

Betty Boop;1377526 wrote: My Dad's headstone is rose granite, and Cornish at that. For us it was important that the stone used was from Cornwall. I think you'll find that it's the local councils that restrict what can and can not be displayed on a grave. Ours regularly remove the bright toys and flags that parents place on their little ones graves, I find that sad.

I'm not sure I wish to visit a psychedelic graveyard as you suggest though :wah:

The churchyard where my parents are buried is maintained by volunteers (my dad used to help out when he retired). I don't know of any specific regulations but I think everyone appreciates the work that the volunteers do and usually only place flowers, to enable the grass to be easily cut between the graves. It's only my opinion but I think a simple spray of flowers is sufficient as our loved ones always remain in our hearts.

Post by **jones jones** » Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:16 am

Patsy Warnick;1377539 wrote: I like the idea of color - headstones/ markers are usually flat for maintenance purpose. Our cemetary will allow decorations for only a certain period of time & then they are to be removed - or they will throw them away.

Color would be a nice choice.

Patsy

How marvellous to hear your dulcid tones again Patsy (figuratively speaking of course!)

I have only ever encountered you in the arcade of late where I am still going to top your Shanghai score!

Glad you approve of color in cemetries ... I would have expected nothing less!

You take care now and have an awesome day!

Post by **jones jones** » Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:26 am

Betty Boop;1377526 wrote: My Dad's headstone is rose granite, and Cornish at that. For us it was important that the stone used was from Cornwall. I think you'll find that it's the local councils that restrict what can and can not be displayed on a grave. Ours regularly remove the bright toys and flags that parents place on their little ones graves, I find that sad.

I'm not sure I wish to visit a psychedelic graveyard as you suggest though :wah:

Hi Miss Boop ... Nice to "see" you again. I have encountered rose granite and rose marble before. It was much used during the Edwardian era in England for the tops of chiffoniers and washstands and was quite a change from the rather dull white or mottled black and whites of the Victorian age.

It is sad that local councils do remove mementos left on graves as I feel they are a nice touch. The outpouring of grief expressed after the Princess of Wales death in which masses of flowers were piled up outside Buckingham Palace and more recently after Gary Speed's untimely death (well not outside the palace), after which wreaths and flowers were placed at certain places, is to me a nice touch.

A psychedelic graveyard may be a little "over the top" I agree, but there is really no reason at all to be all black and grey when a loved one or anyone else moves from the world to the next!

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Sun Dec 04, 2011 10:56 am

Jones

Arcade - Many have tried - game on...!

Patsy

Post by **jones jones** » Sun Dec 04, 2011 11:02 am

Patsy Warnick;1377606 wrote: Jones

Arcade - Many have tried - game on...!

Patsy

Hmmmmmmmmmmm ... Is that a challenge Ms Warnick??

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Sun Dec 04, 2011 11:23 am

Your up for the challenge - keeps you out of trouble.

Back to the topic - I wish I had a choice of color when my husband died in 1988 - I had a choice of bronze or bronze..

And they're all flat for maintenance purpose so I have lost him in the mix - of course I lost him in 1988.

See ya in the arcade. good luck - most everything in life is a challenge.

Patsy

Post by **jones jones** » Sun Dec 04, 2011 11:26 am

Patsy Warnick;1377609 wrote: Your up for the challenge - keeps you out of trouble.

Back to the topic - I wish I had a choice of color when my husband died in 1988 - I had a choice of bronze or bronze..

And they're all flat for maintenance purpose so I have lost him in the mix - of course I lost him in 1988.

See ya in the arcade. good luck - most everything in life is a challenge.

Patsy

Now if you'd had the choice of shocking pink or luminous green ...???

We will meet in the Arcade Patsy ... Muaaaaah!

Post by **LarsMac** » Sun Dec 04, 2011 11:34 am

Lon;1377531 wrote: I'll be cremated and my ashes scattered in San Francisco Bay. Maybe they can mix my ashes with colorful confetti.

My wife plans to feed me to the roses. That should be plenty of color for me.

Post by **jones jones** » Mon Dec 05, 2011 10:00 am

Of course many traditional cemeteries are very beautiful (and spooky) like this one, Abney Park Cemetery in Stoke Newington.

Post by **jones jones** » Mon Dec 05, 2011 10:09 am

And this one ... Mirogoj Cemetery – Zagreb, Croatia.

Lady J · Post by **Lady J** » Mon Dec 05, 2011 6:25 pm

jones jones;1377525 wrote: Went to a cemetery with a friend today. It was her late mom's birthday. While there I wondered why all the tombstones were of grey or black granite. Isn't it time to change this totally sombre picture and introduce some colour into things?

I mean what is wrong with having a bright pink or lime green tombstone? Obviously one cannot get marble or granite in these colours, but why do tombstones HAVE to be made of these substances?

Resin or fibreglass tombstones would last just as long and they can be coloured.

So would you object to seeing a royal blue or scarlet tombstone in a cemetery and if so ... why?
The cemetery makes the rules for the colours that are allowed and perhaps since they think of death as being dark and dismal that is why you only see dark and dreary colours. Another reason for the grey and black would be cost; most people would not spend the money for something too different but then again people do erect large greatly detailed, costly monuments as shown in your photos.

BUT you can get granites in a variety of lively colours as well. I would think it would brighten up a cemetery. But I am not to sure about the lime green one J!:wah:

Colours like these would work ....Selecting color granite for headstones

I would think The Imperial Red would be striking and the Aurora and Lavender Blue very stellar.

Lady J · Post by **Lady J** » Mon Dec 05, 2011 6:29 pm

My epitaph....