previous books:
http://www.forumgarden.com/forums/chris ... nesis.html
http://www.forumgarden.com/forums/chris ... xodus.html
http://www.forumgarden.com/forums/chris ... ticus.html
http://www.forumgarden.com/forums/chris ... mbers.html
http://www.forumgarden.com/forums/chris ... onomy.html
Joshua 1
With Moses dead, Joshua becomes the leader by ordainment. He also gets 'the visions.' God tells him that they can't fail and He will always be with them. Of course there is fine print and many asterisks to that statement.
God recommends the “middle path by telling Joshua not to go left or right. I'm pointing that out as I'm aware there is a lot of meaning to taking the middle path that can make the advice quite important if you know Kabbalah.
Woot! God gives a timeline for movement. Only three more days before another water crossing and long ago Promised Land encountered. Joshua makes sure the two and a half tribes that already settled for other land remember their promise to fight anyway. Joshua seems generally accepted as the new Moses so it was a relatively smooth transition as far as handing over divine power can be expected to go. We've not many examples to compare it to. Either way, I'm glad there wasn't a dispute as I'm sick of waiting for the crossing. That's probably why there was no dispute.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
Joshua 2
Two small bits of wtf? straight off the top. 1) Joshua, getting visions direct from God, sends out spies. 2) The spies go almost directly to a whore's house in Jericho. Rahab, the whore, does a series of unlikely things that result in her being spared from slaughter. She hides them, helps them escape, and tells them they are feared by the people of Jericho based on all the stories they've heard. Rahab conveniently lives on top of the exterior wall of Jericho. I'm assuming that the two spies were either really “good” or the men of Jericho were extremely “bad.”
Rahab lowers the men by a scarlet rope that she is told to leave hanging from the window so they'll know not to kill her. I'm thinking there is a connection to the “red light district” development. Regardless, the spies return to Joshua and tell him “It's awesome, they're all scared shitless of us.”
Two small bits of wtf? straight off the top. 1) Joshua, getting visions direct from God, sends out spies. 2) The spies go almost directly to a whore's house in Jericho. Rahab, the whore, does a series of unlikely things that result in her being spared from slaughter. She hides them, helps them escape, and tells them they are feared by the people of Jericho based on all the stories they've heard. Rahab conveniently lives on top of the exterior wall of Jericho. I'm assuming that the two spies were either really “good” or the men of Jericho were extremely “bad.”
Rahab lowers the men by a scarlet rope that she is told to leave hanging from the window so they'll know not to kill her. I'm thinking there is a connection to the “red light district” development. Regardless, the spies return to Joshua and tell him “It's awesome, they're all scared shitless of us.”
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
Joshua 3
There are some preparations made for the second miracle sea crossing. Keep in mind that they could have built a raft the size of Noah's ark in the time they were waiting for Moses to die but that wouldn't have had the same effect. Instead they have the Ark of the Covenant and this is the plan: The Levites will carry the ark out to the middle of the Jordan, while the people wait. When they reach the middle, the ground will have raised up creating a roadway that the people can cross over and the Levites will maintain the ark in the middle until everyone is safely across.
Joshua seemed to have in mind that God would create the big walls of water like the parting of the Red Sea but the people seem happy enough to have been given some raised up dry land to walk on. Much more dignified than swimming.
There are some preparations made for the second miracle sea crossing. Keep in mind that they could have built a raft the size of Noah's ark in the time they were waiting for Moses to die but that wouldn't have had the same effect. Instead they have the Ark of the Covenant and this is the plan: The Levites will carry the ark out to the middle of the Jordan, while the people wait. When they reach the middle, the ground will have raised up creating a roadway that the people can cross over and the Levites will maintain the ark in the middle until everyone is safely across.
Joshua seemed to have in mind that God would create the big walls of water like the parting of the Red Sea but the people seem happy enough to have been given some raised up dry land to walk on. Much more dignified than swimming.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
Joshua 4
Wanting to make the most of the moment, and probably not being a good rapper, like Moses, Joshua tells the people to go back and get twelve stones from where the priests stood with the Ark in the middle of the Jordan. The people, mumbling that he might have come up with that idea while they were still in the middle, trudged their way back, found twelve rocks that seemed large enough for monuments, argued about the best method of rock pulling and extraction, almost knocked the ark over and finally decided on the same method they used to build the pyramids.
Ok, I'm adding a little detail to flesh it out a bit. They probably did complain and mumble though. It was quite common behaviour. I don't know how they carried the rocks either but I'm sure at least one of them suggest God levitate it for them if it was so damn important.
However it went down, the people put twelve rocks on the good side of the Jordan to remind themselves how nice God is.
Wanting to make the most of the moment, and probably not being a good rapper, like Moses, Joshua tells the people to go back and get twelve stones from where the priests stood with the Ark in the middle of the Jordan. The people, mumbling that he might have come up with that idea while they were still in the middle, trudged their way back, found twelve rocks that seemed large enough for monuments, argued about the best method of rock pulling and extraction, almost knocked the ark over and finally decided on the same method they used to build the pyramids.
Ok, I'm adding a little detail to flesh it out a bit. They probably did complain and mumble though. It was quite common behaviour. I don't know how they carried the rocks either but I'm sure at least one of them suggest God levitate it for them if it was so damn important.
However it went down, the people put twelve rocks on the good side of the Jordan to remind themselves how nice God is.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
And the Canaanites, Hittites, Hivites, Perizzites, Girgashites, Amorites and Jebusites just stood back and watched? A bit short-sighted, that.
Nullius in verba ... ☎||||||||||| ... To Fate I sue, of other means bereft, the only refuge for the wretched left.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious.
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious.
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
spot;1344223 wrote: And the Canaanites, Hittites, Hivites, Perizzites, Girgashites, Amorites and Jebusites just stood back and watched? A bit short-sighted, that.
lol. yeah, I was just thinking about the claimed 600 000 people that composed this tent city earlier today. That's the size of the population of Washington DC. Rather easy to see from a distance.
also, add to Joshua 4 that the Levites holding the Ark in the middle of the Jordan while the rocks are gone back for are muttering "This thing is bloody heavy! Hurry it up then, would you? I'm asking for a pay raise. I miss Moses already."
lol. yeah, I was just thinking about the claimed 600 000 people that composed this tent city earlier today. That's the size of the population of Washington DC. Rather easy to see from a distance.
also, add to Joshua 4 that the Levites holding the Ark in the middle of the Jordan while the rocks are gone back for are muttering "This thing is bloody heavy! Hurry it up then, would you? I'm asking for a pay raise. I miss Moses already."
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
Joshua 5
One of the things they've been slacking off on suddenly becomes über important. Circumcisions all around. Meanwhile, the idiotic pagans watch in terror from a distance instead of pouncing on opportunity. I could understand them on the other side of a spy glass saying “they're doing what??” on the first day and being overwhelmed with confusion but the second and third day of recovery was inexcusable procrastination.
Next they celebrate the passover and find out they don't have to eat manna anymore. That must have improved spirits.
Finally, Joshua encounters a being with a sword who claims he is neither friend nor foe, he his the commander of the Lord's army. Joshua immediately falls to the ground in front of him. I'd be thinking “hey, wait a second, I thought I was the commander” but then, as I've stated before, I'd have been smote long ago. My next thought would have been "what do you mean you're not a friend?"
One of the things they've been slacking off on suddenly becomes über important. Circumcisions all around. Meanwhile, the idiotic pagans watch in terror from a distance instead of pouncing on opportunity. I could understand them on the other side of a spy glass saying “they're doing what??” on the first day and being overwhelmed with confusion but the second and third day of recovery was inexcusable procrastination.
Next they celebrate the passover and find out they don't have to eat manna anymore. That must have improved spirits.
Finally, Joshua encounters a being with a sword who claims he is neither friend nor foe, he his the commander of the Lord's army. Joshua immediately falls to the ground in front of him. I'd be thinking “hey, wait a second, I thought I was the commander” but then, as I've stated before, I'd have been smote long ago. My next thought would have been "what do you mean you're not a friend?"
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
Joshua 6
Despite that the 600 000 campers were whistling nonchalantly while they approached, the people of Jericho felt there was something bad afoot so they shut up the gates. God tells Joshua how to bypass the gates. Problem is, it involves marching around the city for seven days then on the seventh day, on which they are not supposed to do any work by punishment of death, they are to yell in unison, the walls will collapse and they can march straight in to kill everyone. Okay, there are two problems, the whore they are supposed to save lives on the wall they are about to obliterate and they've told her to get all her family into her house so they'll be spared. So, we've got a hapless whore sitting on a treacherous wall and a victorious battle that is going to involve not taking a day of rest.
Since the walls of Jericho had already fallen at least sixteen times from earthquakes, we can imagine the people are probably rightfully afraid that this will be one of those times. The reason they probably didn't stealth their way up the scarlet rope left hanging over the edge of the wall is that the informative whore probably told them that it wasn't necessarily the safest plan. When the Israelites hauled Rahab and her family out as promised, they were likely dragging their corpses to safety.
Joshua commands that none of them rebuild Jericho or they'll be cursed. None of them really wanted a city with habitually crumbling walls so they agreed without argument.
Despite that the 600 000 campers were whistling nonchalantly while they approached, the people of Jericho felt there was something bad afoot so they shut up the gates. God tells Joshua how to bypass the gates. Problem is, it involves marching around the city for seven days then on the seventh day, on which they are not supposed to do any work by punishment of death, they are to yell in unison, the walls will collapse and they can march straight in to kill everyone. Okay, there are two problems, the whore they are supposed to save lives on the wall they are about to obliterate and they've told her to get all her family into her house so they'll be spared. So, we've got a hapless whore sitting on a treacherous wall and a victorious battle that is going to involve not taking a day of rest.
Since the walls of Jericho had already fallen at least sixteen times from earthquakes, we can imagine the people are probably rightfully afraid that this will be one of those times. The reason they probably didn't stealth their way up the scarlet rope left hanging over the edge of the wall is that the informative whore probably told them that it wasn't necessarily the safest plan. When the Israelites hauled Rahab and her family out as promised, they were likely dragging their corpses to safety.
Joshua commands that none of them rebuild Jericho or they'll be cursed. None of them really wanted a city with habitually crumbling walls so they agreed without argument.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
Joshua 7
High on the thrill of success, Joshua sends a small group of fighters to sack a small town nearby called “Ai.” The town turns out to be “Aaaaaiiiiieeee” and the Hebrews get humiliatingly sacked themselves... and chased away. Joshua and the elders tear their clothes and throw themselves to the ground. Joshua, the mighty leader, ask “why hast Thou forsaken me?” oh... sorry, jumped ahead, Joshua says “What'd You go and do that for??”
They are told that one little dude stole some stuff from Jericho and so the Lord let some other dudes die in battle. They find the dude that was guilty and, after no deliberation, kill him and his family. First they stoned them, then they burned them, then the piled stones on top of the burning. Triple death.
Whew, glad we got that fixed up. It would be really nice if at least one of them could learn how to tell when God's mad before people start dying. I'd have been suspicious that a “doom on you” was coming after they worked for seven days straight to take down Jericho.
High on the thrill of success, Joshua sends a small group of fighters to sack a small town nearby called “Ai.” The town turns out to be “Aaaaaiiiiieeee” and the Hebrews get humiliatingly sacked themselves... and chased away. Joshua and the elders tear their clothes and throw themselves to the ground. Joshua, the mighty leader, ask “why hast Thou forsaken me?” oh... sorry, jumped ahead, Joshua says “What'd You go and do that for??”
They are told that one little dude stole some stuff from Jericho and so the Lord let some other dudes die in battle. They find the dude that was guilty and, after no deliberation, kill him and his family. First they stoned them, then they burned them, then the piled stones on top of the burning. Triple death.
Whew, glad we got that fixed up. It would be really nice if at least one of them could learn how to tell when God's mad before people start dying. I'd have been suspicious that a “doom on you” was coming after they worked for seven days straight to take down Jericho.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
Joshua 8
Lessons from a cat on how to look cool if you jump into a glass door while someone is watching: Make it look like you meant to do that. So Joshua goes back to Ai with a proper army and, when the Aiinians :p come running out, they run away again like the first time, making them think the Israelites are defeated... BUT... this time they'll have troops hidden and ready to flank their pursuers in an ambush.
Not bad. Cool cats indeed. While some of the ambushers blocked the warriors from returning, another group charged the city and set it afire. While this all seems like a well planned victory, if I was the secretary of the stateless state I'd make a 'note to self' to check the definition of “give: verb
So they hung the former King of Ai from a tree until sundown, then cast his body at the gates of the city, built an altar and had a non pagan festival in praise to the Lord. During that time, Joshua re-read every word Moses had written down and the people were probably drunk enough to forget they'd been told all of it every week for the last forty years.
Lessons from a cat on how to look cool if you jump into a glass door while someone is watching: Make it look like you meant to do that. So Joshua goes back to Ai with a proper army and, when the Aiinians :p come running out, they run away again like the first time, making them think the Israelites are defeated... BUT... this time they'll have troops hidden and ready to flank their pursuers in an ambush.
Not bad. Cool cats indeed. While some of the ambushers blocked the warriors from returning, another group charged the city and set it afire. While this all seems like a well planned victory, if I was the secretary of the stateless state I'd make a 'note to self' to check the definition of “give: verb
So they hung the former King of Ai from a tree until sundown, then cast his body at the gates of the city, built an altar and had a non pagan festival in praise to the Lord. During that time, Joshua re-read every word Moses had written down and the people were probably drunk enough to forget they'd been told all of it every week for the last forty years.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
Joshua 9
While the evil kings pool their resources, a little town called Gibeon sidles out of the war. A bunch of them dress like beggars, take mouldy bread, weathered saddlebags, and march their most feeble asses into the Hebrew camp claiming to be from far away on a peace mission to offer themselves up as servants. It's kind of like a scene from Red Riding Hood. “My what mouldy bread you have!” “Goodness, how tired your donkeys look!” Apparently the ruse is physically convincing enough that Joshua overlooks the fact that he had just conquered the cities which are supposed to have been the instigating travel factor, so “far away” can't be all that far if they got the news and got their asses to the Israelites camp that fast. How fast does the leather on a saddlebag crack?
Of course they figure out it was trickery by people they'd vowed to kill, but once asylum was offered, they were stuck with it. The Israelites may be genocidal maniacs, but they are men of their word.
Great story telling, that. Every bad guy needs a redeeming quality. But the Gibeonites are fairly cursed with having all of their offspring forever being servants. A good example of 'be careful what you ask for.'
While the evil kings pool their resources, a little town called Gibeon sidles out of the war. A bunch of them dress like beggars, take mouldy bread, weathered saddlebags, and march their most feeble asses into the Hebrew camp claiming to be from far away on a peace mission to offer themselves up as servants. It's kind of like a scene from Red Riding Hood. “My what mouldy bread you have!” “Goodness, how tired your donkeys look!” Apparently the ruse is physically convincing enough that Joshua overlooks the fact that he had just conquered the cities which are supposed to have been the instigating travel factor, so “far away” can't be all that far if they got the news and got their asses to the Israelites camp that fast. How fast does the leather on a saddlebag crack?
Of course they figure out it was trickery by people they'd vowed to kill, but once asylum was offered, they were stuck with it. The Israelites may be genocidal maniacs, but they are men of their word.
Great story telling, that. Every bad guy needs a redeeming quality. But the Gibeonites are fairly cursed with having all of their offspring forever being servants. A good example of 'be careful what you ask for.'
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
Joshua 10
News spreads and five kings of Midian unite to go smite Gideon for playing nice with the bad guys. Gideon also gets fast news so they appeal to their new masters for protection. By the time the kings get there, Joshua has assembled his troops for battle. They trap the five kings in a cave and leave them under guard while they chase away the remainder of the non-smote. Once they get some time to play, Joshua humiliates and tortures the kings before killing them then puts them up on sharpened sticks for display. They take them down by nightfall cuz, you know, ... flies.
Defeating the Midians wasn't completely easy. Joshua prayed to God for extra day time so they could finish the job. Presumably they wouldn't have had to do a stop, drop, and pray if all was going to plan.
Kind of like the war in Iraq, Joshua figured that, while they were there, they might as well smite at least one other town. They didn't need an exit plan as they managed to kill everyone in sight and kept going until they'd conquered the whole region. Of course it helped that they didn't try to spare anyone. Keeps things simple.
They also conquered Gaza back then, but possibly because they didn't stop to build settlements. They went home when they were done killing everything that moved.
News spreads and five kings of Midian unite to go smite Gideon for playing nice with the bad guys. Gideon also gets fast news so they appeal to their new masters for protection. By the time the kings get there, Joshua has assembled his troops for battle. They trap the five kings in a cave and leave them under guard while they chase away the remainder of the non-smote. Once they get some time to play, Joshua humiliates and tortures the kings before killing them then puts them up on sharpened sticks for display. They take them down by nightfall cuz, you know, ... flies.
Defeating the Midians wasn't completely easy. Joshua prayed to God for extra day time so they could finish the job. Presumably they wouldn't have had to do a stop, drop, and pray if all was going to plan.
Kind of like the war in Iraq, Joshua figured that, while they were there, they might as well smite at least one other town. They didn't need an exit plan as they managed to kill everyone in sight and kept going until they'd conquered the whole region. Of course it helped that they didn't try to spare anyone. Keeps things simple.
They also conquered Gaza back then, but possibly because they didn't stop to build settlements. They went home when they were done killing everything that moved.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
It's all starting to sound like news rather than history. Have they been told to build a Wall round their settlements and wells yet?
Nullius in verba ... ☎||||||||||| ... To Fate I sue, of other means bereft, the only refuge for the wretched left.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious.
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious.
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
It is weird reading the stories behind some of the current wars. Part of the cleverness of character in the Bible is that you can't really be sure who the good guys are. Just when you start to sympathize with one of them they go and do something outrageous.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
Joshua 11
Needless to say, the kings of the Promised Land were concerned. They rallied to ride against the invaders but, sadly, Joshua took them by surprise, slaughtered every warrior and crippled the horses. Presumably they only lamed the horses so all the other horses of the land would be warned against letting heathens ride on their backs. It's practically a gangster essential that they leave something lamed and alive to spread terror and send a message.
While the horses dragged their bodies across the desert, Joshua and his mob turned and rode into Hazor to kill every woman and child left behind by the dead warriors... so the horses got back and probably found nothing left to warn. After Joshua follows instructions and smites every man, woman and child who is unfortunate enough to be sat on the land he wants, there is finally rest from war because there is no one left to fight.
What are they to do now? You'd expect them to need some cooling down killing. They had a warm up, afterall. It can't be good for a people to kill so much then just stop cold turkey.
Needless to say, the kings of the Promised Land were concerned. They rallied to ride against the invaders but, sadly, Joshua took them by surprise, slaughtered every warrior and crippled the horses. Presumably they only lamed the horses so all the other horses of the land would be warned against letting heathens ride on their backs. It's practically a gangster essential that they leave something lamed and alive to spread terror and send a message.
While the horses dragged their bodies across the desert, Joshua and his mob turned and rode into Hazor to kill every woman and child left behind by the dead warriors... so the horses got back and probably found nothing left to warn. After Joshua follows instructions and smites every man, woman and child who is unfortunate enough to be sat on the land he wants, there is finally rest from war because there is no one left to fight.
What are they to do now? You'd expect them to need some cooling down killing. They had a warm up, afterall. It can't be good for a people to kill so much then just stop cold turkey.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
Joshua 12
All the former kings of the land who were destroyed by the Israelites are listed. Thirty one of them. There is less talk about God giving them the land and more talk of how they took it themselves. I do recall that God was supposed to drive the former tenants out by way of flies or hornets or something but that part didn't happen. Since God was wavering on whether he loved or hated His chosen people, I'd feel a little more sure that it went according to His plans if some hornets had been involved. Or maybe a bit of ground opening up and swallowing the enemy.
All the former kings of the land who were destroyed by the Israelites are listed. Thirty one of them. There is less talk about God giving them the land and more talk of how they took it themselves. I do recall that God was supposed to drive the former tenants out by way of flies or hornets or something but that part didn't happen. Since God was wavering on whether he loved or hated His chosen people, I'd feel a little more sure that it went according to His plans if some hornets had been involved. Or maybe a bit of ground opening up and swallowing the enemy.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
Joshua 13
Smiting the kings either took a long time or Joshua was just suddenly not good enough anymore as God says “Dude, you're old and we still have lots to do.” The land left to be conquered is listed and, oddly enough, sounds like all the places they've already been smiting. Utterly smote. Not smote enough.
The Israelites have problems getting the complete smiting accomplished and that explains why 'to this day' there are a few less than Hebrew Hebrews among the tribes.
Smiting the kings either took a long time or Joshua was just suddenly not good enough anymore as God says “Dude, you're old and we still have lots to do.” The land left to be conquered is listed and, oddly enough, sounds like all the places they've already been smiting. Utterly smote. Not smote enough.
The Israelites have problems getting the complete smiting accomplished and that explains why 'to this day' there are a few less than Hebrew Hebrews among the tribes.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
Joshua 14
While the talk of how to divvy land goes on, Caleb, who along with Joshua had given reports about kadesh-barnea along the lines of “pah, we can take 'em,” reminds Joshua that he was given that particular piece of land by God. Still keen on fighting the “large” men, Caleb is given permission to go back and teach them who's boss. The town gets smote and there are a few less giants in the world to make God feel all insecure.
While the talk of how to divvy land goes on, Caleb, who along with Joshua had given reports about kadesh-barnea along the lines of “pah, we can take 'em,” reminds Joshua that he was given that particular piece of land by God. Still keen on fighting the “large” men, Caleb is given permission to go back and teach them who's boss. The town gets smote and there are a few less giants in the world to make God feel all insecure.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
Joshua 15
The tribe of Judah are pretty much the warrior tribe. They seem to be referred to most often as the tribe you want to have with you if you get in a bar fight. But “As for the Jebusites the inhabitants of Jerusalem, the children of Judah could not drive them out; but the Jebusites dwell with the children of Judah at Jerusalem unto this day.” That Jerusalem sure is one tough nut to crack.
Meanwhile Caleb's daughter is given some land but she gets down off her ass one day to complain that there is no water in the Negev desert. Duh.
Does that mean the land only floweth with milk or it only floweth with honey?
The tribe of Judah are pretty much the warrior tribe. They seem to be referred to most often as the tribe you want to have with you if you get in a bar fight. But “As for the Jebusites the inhabitants of Jerusalem, the children of Judah could not drive them out; but the Jebusites dwell with the children of Judah at Jerusalem unto this day.” That Jerusalem sure is one tough nut to crack.
Meanwhile Caleb's daughter is given some land but she gets down off her ass one day to complain that there is no water in the Negev desert. Duh.
Does that mean the land only floweth with milk or it only floweth with honey?
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
Joshua 16
The Ephraimites fared slightly better, but not much. “And they drave not out the Canaanites that dwelt in Gezer: but the Canaanites dwell among the Ephraimites unto this day, and serve under tribute.” So, they failed to rid the land as well. But at least the leftovers are slaves instead of co-habitants.
The Ephraimites fared slightly better, but not much. “And they drave not out the Canaanites that dwelt in Gezer: but the Canaanites dwell among the Ephraimites unto this day, and serve under tribute.” So, they failed to rid the land as well. But at least the leftovers are slaves instead of co-habitants.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
Joshua 17
The descendants of Joseph appear to be both pitiful and whiners. “But the descendants of Manasseh were unable to occupy these towns. They could not drive out the Canaanites who continued to live there. Later, however, when the Israelites became strong enough, they forced the Canaanites to work as slaves. But they did not drive them out of the land.
They may not be strong fighters but they had a lot of the sex. Their claim to more land was a claim to more descendants. So Joshua grants that they should also have the nearby forests and hills and tells them to ignore that the current occupants have iron chariots as they will be given the land... in the way that all land is apparently “given by telling folks to go get it.
The descendants of Joseph appear to be both pitiful and whiners. “But the descendants of Manasseh were unable to occupy these towns. They could not drive out the Canaanites who continued to live there. Later, however, when the Israelites became strong enough, they forced the Canaanites to work as slaves. But they did not drive them out of the land.
They may not be strong fighters but they had a lot of the sex. Their claim to more land was a claim to more descendants. So Joshua grants that they should also have the nearby forests and hills and tells them to ignore that the current occupants have iron chariots as they will be given the land... in the way that all land is apparently “given by telling folks to go get it.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
Joshua 18
Hahaha. Just to prove my last point, Joshua asks the remaining seven tribes that haven't been given land yet “why haven't you gone and taken any land? Get up on it!” So, they dig in their heels, stop shirking war, and go get them some. Except the Levites who decide it's better to just run the temples and not have to take or work any land for themselves. Oh, I mean, God spares them from having to do that.
I do wonder where Joshua fits in as he isn't a Levite. He's an Ephraimite in Levite clothing. Baaaa.
Hahaha. Just to prove my last point, Joshua asks the remaining seven tribes that haven't been given land yet “why haven't you gone and taken any land? Get up on it!” So, they dig in their heels, stop shirking war, and go get them some. Except the Levites who decide it's better to just run the temples and not have to take or work any land for themselves. Oh, I mean, God spares them from having to do that.
I do wonder where Joshua fits in as he isn't a Levite. He's an Ephraimite in Levite clothing. Baaaa.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
WHAAA! All that smiting and all those "ites" The Bible seems full of "ites" and "smotes". LOL
Shalom
Ted
Shalom
Ted
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
I expect that the verb "to give" has an alternate biblical meaning similar to "to know"
eta: in the same way that... oh, ok, they both mean to get ****ed
eta: in the same way that... oh, ok, they both mean to get ****ed
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
Joshua 19
They finish dividing up the land after a survey and map were etched out. I'd assume that they went and conquered it all but it doesn't specifically say that and so far complete smiting seems to have left an awful lot of survivors that are mingling and co-existing. At the very end, it turns out Joshua is going to get his own city afterall so he's not going to cozy in with the Levites. I don't think it's ever said whether the Levites are happy about their lotlessness in life.
They finish dividing up the land after a survey and map were etched out. I'd assume that they went and conquered it all but it doesn't specifically say that and so far complete smiting seems to have left an awful lot of survivors that are mingling and co-existing. At the very end, it turns out Joshua is going to get his own city afterall so he's not going to cozy in with the Levites. I don't think it's ever said whether the Levites are happy about their lotlessness in life.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
Joshua 20
The cities of refuge are defined. These are places scattered throughout the land where someone who accidentally kills another person can escape vigilante justice and get a trial. If they are found not guilty they are still bound to stay in the city of refuge until the high priest dies. I wonder how many high priests found themselves dodging falling pianos.
The cities of refuge are defined. These are places scattered throughout the land where someone who accidentally kills another person can escape vigilante justice and get a trial. If they are found not guilty they are still bound to stay in the city of refuge until the high priest dies. I wonder how many high priests found themselves dodging falling pianos.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
Joshua 21
The Levites had to poke Joshua when all was said and done to remind him that all the tribes had to give some towns and pastureland to the priest families. Forty eight were picked out and offered over. That's like forty eight Vatican cities. I wonder if it's like forty eight Popes.
Anyway, it is declared that God made good on all His promises to their ancestors. The smoky ruins of all the civilizations they'd destroyed become like the wafting aroma of a giant ill used peace pipe.
The Levites had to poke Joshua when all was said and done to remind him that all the tribes had to give some towns and pastureland to the priest families. Forty eight were picked out and offered over. That's like forty eight Vatican cities. I wonder if it's like forty eight Popes.
Anyway, it is declared that God made good on all His promises to their ancestors. The smoky ruins of all the civilizations they'd destroyed become like the wafting aroma of a giant ill used peace pipe.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
koan;1344992 wrote: Anyway, it is declared that God made good on all His promises to their ancestors.It's what??
I demand an audit at this point if that's the case. Draw up a checklist. Here's the promise...
Genesis 15:18+: On that day the LORD made a covenant with Abram and said, “To your descendants I give this land, from the Wadi of Egypt to the great river, the Euphrates - the land of the Kenites, Kenizzites, Kadmonites, Hittites, Perizzites, Rephaites, Amorites, Canaanites, Girgashites and Jebusites.”
God took Joshua as far as the Euphrates? No way.
I demand an audit at this point if that's the case. Draw up a checklist. Here's the promise...
Genesis 15:18+: On that day the LORD made a covenant with Abram and said, “To your descendants I give this land, from the Wadi of Egypt to the great river, the Euphrates - the land of the Kenites, Kenizzites, Kadmonites, Hittites, Perizzites, Rephaites, Amorites, Canaanites, Girgashites and Jebusites.”
God took Joshua as far as the Euphrates? No way.
Nullius in verba ... ☎||||||||||| ... To Fate I sue, of other means bereft, the only refuge for the wretched left.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious.
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious.
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
spot;1345012 wrote: It's what??
I demand an audit at this point if that's the case. Draw up a checklist. Here's the promise...
Genesis 15:18+: On that day the LORD made a covenant with Abram and said, “To your descendants I give this land, from the Wadi of Egypt to the great river, the Euphrates - the land of the Kenites, Kenizzites, Kadmonites, Hittites, Perizzites, Rephaites, Amorites, Canaanites, Girgashites and Jebusites.”
God took Joshua as far as the Euphrates? No way.
You'll have to keep in mind that "give" was used in the biblical sense here. It's hardly God's fault that they were unable to kill everyone on the land... at the time.
I demand an audit at this point if that's the case. Draw up a checklist. Here's the promise...
Genesis 15:18+: On that day the LORD made a covenant with Abram and said, “To your descendants I give this land, from the Wadi of Egypt to the great river, the Euphrates - the land of the Kenites, Kenizzites, Kadmonites, Hittites, Perizzites, Rephaites, Amorites, Canaanites, Girgashites and Jebusites.”
God took Joshua as far as the Euphrates? No way.
You'll have to keep in mind that "give" was used in the biblical sense here. It's hardly God's fault that they were unable to kill everyone on the land... at the time.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
Joshua 22
Joshua releases the tribes from the east to return to their land, now that they've fulfilled the promise to help acquire the Promised Land. They stop on their way back across the Jordan and erect a big stone altar. It must have been pretty big because the rest of the tribes saw it and came running fearfully. “Why are you constructing this pagan monstrosity that will bring God's wrath down on all of us?”
Good thing they asked before they smote. Turns out the two and a half eastern tribes wanted to create a memorial of their faith to the one God so the rest of them would remember that the eastern tribes are good guys. We can presume that the Israelite altars look exactly like the pagan altars. Perhaps they should have picked out a symbol to differentiate so there would be less confusion that could potentially result in wrongful smiting.
It's a bizarre story that really just seems to say they don't trust each other very much.
Joshua releases the tribes from the east to return to their land, now that they've fulfilled the promise to help acquire the Promised Land. They stop on their way back across the Jordan and erect a big stone altar. It must have been pretty big because the rest of the tribes saw it and came running fearfully. “Why are you constructing this pagan monstrosity that will bring God's wrath down on all of us?”
Good thing they asked before they smote. Turns out the two and a half eastern tribes wanted to create a memorial of their faith to the one God so the rest of them would remember that the eastern tribes are good guys. We can presume that the Israelite altars look exactly like the pagan altars. Perhaps they should have picked out a symbol to differentiate so there would be less confusion that could potentially result in wrongful smiting.
It's a bizarre story that really just seems to say they don't trust each other very much.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
Joshua 23
Joshua is getting old. We know this because he says “I'm old.”
In the tradition of Moses, he decides to make a big exit speech. In a moment of rare honesty he admits that he's allotted land to the tribes that hasn't actually been conquered yet. He asserts that, though it doesn't look like God has made good on all His promises, they know all the promises are fulfilled “deep in their hearts.” While I'm not so sure that knowledge is deep in their hearts, Joshua then addresses what we can be sure is actually deep in their hearts: the lust to worship other gods.
Because they conquered and smote all the people squatting on Holy land without actually conquering and killing them all, there is great danger remaining in living among the pagans. Joshua warns that they will basically go back to being slaves if the people give up on God and turn from Him. Presumably, the pagans look like they're having more fun... hence the temptation.
Joshua is getting old. We know this because he says “I'm old.”
In the tradition of Moses, he decides to make a big exit speech. In a moment of rare honesty he admits that he's allotted land to the tribes that hasn't actually been conquered yet. He asserts that, though it doesn't look like God has made good on all His promises, they know all the promises are fulfilled “deep in their hearts.” While I'm not so sure that knowledge is deep in their hearts, Joshua then addresses what we can be sure is actually deep in their hearts: the lust to worship other gods.
Because they conquered and smote all the people squatting on Holy land without actually conquering and killing them all, there is great danger remaining in living among the pagans. Joshua warns that they will basically go back to being slaves if the people give up on God and turn from Him. Presumably, the pagans look like they're having more fun... hence the temptation.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
Joshua 24
After the somewhat apologist beginning, Joshua jumps to the meat.
He retells the legends of the past. How Abraham was the first to be shown there was only one God, so he was given Isaac (and Ishmael, from whom none of the Israelites are descended) And Isaac was given Jacob (and Esau, from whom none of the Israelites are descended) and Jacob was sent to Egypt (which is very problematic in the God's plan theory) (via Joseph.) (And Jacob was really pissed off at a bunch of his sons but God wasn't.) And God gave Levi Moses and Aaron (even though Levi was cursed by Jacob, but God must have had a soft spot for them) to lead His chosen people out of Egypt again and back to the place he sent them from in the first place. (Presumably it was more impressive to try and smite four hundred years worth of non-chosen procreated people instead of just smiting them before Egypt.) To reduce the number of questions asked, God created miracle plagues (which also plagued the Israelites later on) and parted waters for them to cross so they'd know, against all other evidence, that God was actually on their side.
Recounting how they had to fight for the land they were given, Joshua assures them that it was not their swords and axes that won them the land, God made the pagans afraid of them, and that's what won the battles. (Except for the ones that they didn't win, and except for the ones who weren't afraid.) Accept that the mere fact they won battles means the Lord helped them, and keep in mind that they won't win battles if the Lord is mad at them.
“We smote them to the left. And we smote them to the right. We smote them in the day and we smote them in the night. We smote them cuz they sat on our land. We smote them cuz they ate green eggs and ham.”
Joshua, more of a public speaker than Moses, whips them into a frenzy.
“So, who you gonna call?”
“God of Israel!”
“Who you gonna call?”
“God of Israel!!”
“That's right! Now let me chisel all this down and just sign on the dotted line.”
Then Joshua dies. They bury him in his chosen city. Eleazar, Aaron's son dies, they bury him in his allotted place. Then someone remembers they have Joseph's bones still kicking around in a pack sack so they bury him in the cave with his ancestors.
After the somewhat apologist beginning, Joshua jumps to the meat.
He retells the legends of the past. How Abraham was the first to be shown there was only one God, so he was given Isaac (and Ishmael, from whom none of the Israelites are descended) And Isaac was given Jacob (and Esau, from whom none of the Israelites are descended) and Jacob was sent to Egypt (which is very problematic in the God's plan theory) (via Joseph.) (And Jacob was really pissed off at a bunch of his sons but God wasn't.) And God gave Levi Moses and Aaron (even though Levi was cursed by Jacob, but God must have had a soft spot for them) to lead His chosen people out of Egypt again and back to the place he sent them from in the first place. (Presumably it was more impressive to try and smite four hundred years worth of non-chosen procreated people instead of just smiting them before Egypt.) To reduce the number of questions asked, God created miracle plagues (which also plagued the Israelites later on) and parted waters for them to cross so they'd know, against all other evidence, that God was actually on their side.
Recounting how they had to fight for the land they were given, Joshua assures them that it was not their swords and axes that won them the land, God made the pagans afraid of them, and that's what won the battles. (Except for the ones that they didn't win, and except for the ones who weren't afraid.) Accept that the mere fact they won battles means the Lord helped them, and keep in mind that they won't win battles if the Lord is mad at them.
“We smote them to the left. And we smote them to the right. We smote them in the day and we smote them in the night. We smote them cuz they sat on our land. We smote them cuz they ate green eggs and ham.”
Joshua, more of a public speaker than Moses, whips them into a frenzy.
“So, who you gonna call?”
“God of Israel!”
“Who you gonna call?”
“God of Israel!!”
“That's right! Now let me chisel all this down and just sign on the dotted line.”
Then Joshua dies. They bury him in his chosen city. Eleazar, Aaron's son dies, they bury him in his allotted place. Then someone remembers they have Joseph's bones still kicking around in a pack sack so they bury him in the cave with his ancestors.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
It's like reading the Jerusalem Post, that book.
The Times of the Judges has a lot to live up to after Joshua. Those tasters of "don't sleep with the enemy" sort of avalanche from now as far as the Gospels, it's the main topic of conversation.
Well done koan, great read, you're into your stride now.
The Times of the Judges has a lot to live up to after Joshua. Those tasters of "don't sleep with the enemy" sort of avalanche from now as far as the Gospels, it's the main topic of conversation.
Well done koan, great read, you're into your stride now.
Nullius in verba ... ☎||||||||||| ... To Fate I sue, of other means bereft, the only refuge for the wretched left.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious.
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious.
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
It's really hard not to see the parallels. I think the key here is in trying to decide who the bad guys of the story are.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 6 - Joshua
The name Joshua came back into popularity in the 80s.