What is your point?

theia · Post by **theia** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 5:14 am

The other day I heard someone on a TV drama say that they felt pointless. I think I understand what they meant. I really don't know what my point is.

Yes, I do a good job at work, I look after my granddaughter and I'm here if my family needs me. And I'm thankful and appreciate these things. But I still feel a bit pointless...not in a depressive way, just a wondering way.

Some philosophies might promote this as quite a healthy way to be...I'm not sure, maybe they're right.

What do you think your point is?

Ahso! · Post by **Ahso!** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 5:30 am

Sorry, I don't understand the question. Do you mean purpose in life? Perhaps something else? Reason for a particular action? Can you expand a bit?

Snooz · Post by **Snooz** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 5:35 am

It used to worry me that I hadn't found my purpose/point in life but as with other things about aging, I've just accepted that not all of us will make an impact on the lives of others and go down in history for something. I'm just a worker bee and I'm fine with that.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 5:44 am

Can't see the point in answering to be honest..........................only joking.

Anyone with friends and family casts a long shadow, a lot longer than we think in our darkest hours.

theia · Post by **theia** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 6:12 am

Ahso!;1385545 wrote: Sorry, I don't understand the question. Do you mean purpose in life? Perhaps something else? Reason for a particular action? Can you expand a bit?

Good point (seriously!)...I'm wondering now if it does have more to do with getting older and realising that life has been a series of roles and that there is no particular goal. Although I can remember thinking this in my 30s too.

I read recently that everything is predetermined and that's it's only our thoughts about it that make us think we have a choice. I'm not necessarily going along with that but it makes me wonder...again.

You probably still don't understand my original question...maybe I don't either?

theia · Post by **theia** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 6:18 am

SnoozeAgain;1385546 wrote: It used to worry me that I hadn't found my purpose/point in life but as with other things about aging, I've just accepted that not all of us will make an impact on the lives of others and go down in history for something. I'm just a worker bee and I'm fine with that.

Yes, I think now that I'm okay with not making an impact too. But up until only a few years ago, I still thought I would write THE book or become another Saint Someone or Other. Nowadays I think more about the music I want at my funeral or who'll be there...again, NOT meant in a depressive way, more of a fun way.

theia · Post by **theia** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 6:18 am

Bruv;1385547 wrote: Can't see the point in answering to be honest..........................only joking.

Anyone with friends and family casts a long shadow, a lot longer than we think in our darkest hours.

I really like that, Bruv

Post by **Betty Boop** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 6:22 am

theia;1385544 wrote: The other day I heard someone on a TV drama say that they felt pointless. I think I understand what they meant. I really don't know what my point is.

Yes, I do a good job at work, I look after my granddaughter and I'm here if my family needs me. And I'm thankful and appreciate these things. But I still feel a bit pointless...not in a depressive way, just a wondering way.

Some philosophies might promote this as quite a healthy way to be...I'm not sure, maybe they're right.

What do you think your point is?

Not sure I have a point right now, apart from the children, I seem to just exist.

theia · Post by **theia** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 6:29 am

Betty Boop;1385552 wrote: Not sure I have a point right now, apart from the children, I seem to just exist.

Well, from my point of view, you're a valued friend and a lovely lady...bit selfish when it comes to cardi giving but I'm willing to overlook that.

Maybe we all just exist and yet, as I said to Ahso, we think it's more than that?

flopstock · Post by **flopstock** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 6:47 am

Betty Boop;1385552 wrote: Not sure I have a point right now, apart from the children, I seem to just exist.

Remember when you were just you and not 'so n so's' mother? Now I can't imagine just being me for the rest of my life.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 11:11 am

Bruv;1385547 wrote:

Anyone with friends and family casts a long shadow, a lot longer than we think in our darkest hours.

theia;1385551 wrote: I really like that, Bruv

I have a poetic deep side too you know............how do you cast a shadow in the dark ?

Why does there have to be a point ?

You could ask the same question about music, whats the point of that ?

Or dancing, or reading, or any blooming thing, including flowers.........(did you see that ?)

theia · Post by **theia** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 11:36 am

Bruv;1385583 wrote: I have a poetic deep side too you know............how do you cast a shadow in the dark ?

Why does there have to be a point ?

You could ask the same question about music, whats the point of that ?

Or dancing, or reading, or any blooming thing, including flowers.........(did you see that ?)

I am really loving this side of you, Bruv...

and I'm thinking (hypothetically) there's a flower growing outside my back door. I ask it what is its point. It doesn't reply. A while later I go outside for another cigarette and the flower is still there, just being. It doesn't care whether I think it has a point or not. It just is.

So maybe I "just is?"

yes, I noticed your blooming pun

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 12:10 pm

theia;1385587 wrote: I am really loving this side of you, Bruv...

Stop it........you are making me blush.

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 1:04 pm

I have forgotten who i am other than the roles i have to play or the responsibilities i have, i am who they need me to be and that makes them happy, its important to me they are happy.

I have always been kinda melancholy even as far back as i can remember. An old boyfriend once told me i'd never be happy, maybe he was right but i think deep down i just want to be content.

Post by **LarsMac** » Fri Feb 24, 2012 7:20 pm

I think it was Niilson that once said, "The point is that there is no point."

koan · Post by **koan** » Sat Feb 25, 2012 7:22 pm

As Ernest Becker so thoroughly proves, all people will think their lives are futile unless they feel like a person of value in a world of meaning. How you achieve those things is entirely individual.

I've been lucky enough to have more than one person tell me I changed their lives so if I don't achieve another goal, I'll die knowing that I served a purpose. I'm making efforts to tell people who affect me profoundly that they've made a difference because I've come to realize how important that information is on a personal level.

Ahso! · Post by **Ahso!** » Sat Feb 25, 2012 8:21 pm

koan;1385758 wrote: As Ernest Becker so thoroughly proves, all people will think their lives are futile unless they feel like a person of value in a world of meaning. How you achieve those things is entirely individual.

I've been lucky enough to have more than one person tell me I changed their lives so if I don't achieve another goal, I'll die knowing that I served a purpose. I'm making efforts to tell people who affect me profoundly that they've made a difference because I've come to realize how important that information is on a personal level.Over the past 18 years or so I've made it a point, whether it be via telephone, writing a letter or over the internet, to contact former friends in order to inform them that my life had been enriched from having known them (and then I ask them for money, of course).

What proof did Becker offer?

koan · Post by **koan** » Sat Feb 25, 2012 8:47 pm

Escape From Evil sums it up best. Sheldon Solomon does a pretty good job explaining it on youtube.

koan · Post by **koan** » Sat Feb 25, 2012 10:09 pm

Not saying you have to read the book or watch the videos... just... they're there if you need proof.

theia · Post by **theia** » Sun Feb 26, 2012 2:16 am

koan;1385758 wrote: As Ernest Becker so thoroughly proves, all people will think their lives are futile unless they feel like a person of value in a world of meaning. How you achieve those things is entirely individual.

I've been lucky enough to have more than one person tell me I changed their lives so if I don't achieve another goal, I'll die knowing that I served a purpose. I'm making efforts to tell people who affect me profoundly that they've made a difference because I've come to realize how important that information is on a personal level.

I read Becker's Birth and Death of Meaning(?) back in the 80's but, although it had an impact on me then, I can't remember any of it now! Maybe I should go for a re-read and look at some more of his writing.

I have never been told that I have changed a person's life. I have had positive comments about things that I have done (and, of course, some negative ones) and I suppose that the lives of everyone I've been in relationship with has been changed in some way, as has mine.

I watched a rather poignant programme on Marilyn Monroe last night loosely based on her last sessions with her psychotherapist. She must have had a massive imapct on many people's lives but still she saw little value in herself.

For the time being, I think that I'm sold on the simplicity of "Bruv's Blooms." :-6

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Sun Feb 26, 2012 5:11 am

theia;1385767 wrote:

For the time being, I think that I'm sold on the simplicity of "Bruv's Blooms." :-6

Then...............my job is done here.

theia · Post by **theia** » Sun Feb 26, 2012 6:02 am

Bruv;1385778 wrote: Then...............my job is done here.

Bruv's Blooms would make a very good book title. And people would be sure to browse through it as they would wonder what it was all about. Could be a winner...

(Bagsy I be your agent...50%?)

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Sun Feb 26, 2012 6:44 am

Well we have a title................now all I have to do is to sweat blood over my PC and fill it with my meanderings, endless nights writing and rewriting, draft after draft.......weeks extending into months onward into years, of anguish and soul searching, Excuses for being late for work, mood swings when the going gets tough, arguments with my wife, possible divorce pending the completion, deadlines to meet with the publisher.

And you want 50 % ?

Yea right........

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Sun Feb 26, 2012 3:13 pm

pfffttt if you let this thread end so easy i will resurrect the butter thread.

You have been warned

theia · Post by **theia** » Sun Feb 26, 2012 3:16 pm

buttercup;1385827 wrote: pfffttt if you let this thread end so easy i will resurrect the butter thread.

You have been warned

Yikes!!!!

BUMP

theia · Post by **theia** » Sun Feb 26, 2012 3:22 pm

Bruv;1385780 wrote: Well we have a title................now all I have to do is to sweat blood over my PC and fill it with my meanderings, endless nights writing and rewriting, draft after draft.......weeks extending into months onward into years, of anguish and soul searching, Excuses for being late for work, mood swings when the going gets tough, arguments with my wife, possible divorce pending the completion, deadlines to meet with the publisher.

And you want 50 % ?

Yea right........

Yes, but you'll get all the praise. You'll be invited to A-list parties and receive awards, even though it was basically my idea. You'll know what your point is but I'll still be aimlessly wandering around, searching...

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Sun Feb 26, 2012 3:24 pm

BUMP!! BUMP!!! BUMP!!!!

( whispering....theia......what's the butter thread all about ? I would like to know what I'm bumping)

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Sun Feb 26, 2012 3:27 pm

All i can say is you were given fair warning

theia · Post by **theia** » Sun Feb 26, 2012 3:30 pm

Bruv;1385833 wrote: BUMP!! BUMP!!! BUMP!!!!

( whispering....theia......what's the butter thread all about ? I would like to know what I'm bumping)

Shhhhhh...it was horrendously long, it was all about butter and, well, you don't want to go there, I promise you.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Sun Feb 26, 2012 3:38 pm

theia;1385831 wrote: Yes, but you'll get all the praise. .
'Praise' ?

Praise don't butter no parsnips.

You'll be invited to A-list parties and receive awards, even though it was basically my idea. ......
All on me own ?.......what's the point in that ?

You'll know what your point is but I'll still be aimlessly wandering around, searching...

Wandering around cash tills.......raking in the bloody royalties from the break up of my marriage, while I turn to drink and drugs to placate my lack of a dream........cos my book was my dream.....Now I have nothing to look forward to........

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Sun Feb 26, 2012 3:40 pm

Join the stop smoking threads

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Sun Feb 26, 2012 3:41 pm

theia;1385837 wrote: Shhhhhh...it was horrendously long, it was all about butter and, well, you don't want to go there, I promise you.

Butter ?

Ah.... Butter.......was there any reference to "Last tango in Paris"

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Sun Feb 26, 2012 3:42 pm

buttercup;1385846 wrote: Join the stop smoking threads

I have mentioned many times on here possibly......giving up smoking in easy peasy.

I have done it several times.