Do you have something to prove?

[koan]

I do. When I stop feeling that, I'll probably stop feeling the need to live.

Things I've felt the need to prove:

That I can survive.

That I can still laugh.

That I can make something beautiful.

That I can make something that makes people laugh, cry, love, hate, remember... feel.

That I can make sense of all the **** that's happened to me.

That I can forget all the **** that's happened to me.

That I can choose my reactions.

That I can put up a fight.

That I can convince someone else to put up a fight.

That I can walk away.

That I can help someone else figure out when to walk away.

That I can change something.

That I can communicate to other people why it's worth trying to prove something.

If you don't like that I've got something to prove you probably need to find your own reason. I hope you do.

[fuzzywuzzy]

The mining job is my something to prove ...to myself and others.

[LarsMac]

Only thing I have left to prove is that I can maintain the "devil-may-care" attitude that got me into this mess.

[Accountable]

I don't feel the need to prove anything. Not sure I ever did. Ambition is usually very healthy. Feeling the need to prove something prompts you to set worthy goals.

I don't do any of these things; I'm completely disorganized. Everything I've achieved is a result of wanting to please my beloved. It makes me feel good to make her proud of me. ("Look what I can do!")

I sometimes wonder how far I could go if I had real ambition.