The Light at the end of the Tunnel

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 1:52 pm

Okay...this is gonna be a long one I'm afraid!

This last year has been a pretty crap year for me.

My mum and I don't get along too well so we communicate through my younger sister. My sister says 'oh, mum said this about you' and whatever it is its always negative or critical or derogatory. Then I found out by accident that my sister has been telling my mum huge lies about me. It would take a loooonnnng time to go into all the detail but basically she told mum I had said mean things about her and she told me mum had said mean things about me and so we dont get along too well. But we both like my sister so she gets love and affection from both of us. When she was a small child she was very jealous of me because I was ten years older than her and working, earning good money, going out and partying.

Even though I gave her money and lots of presents. My aunt, to whom I am very close, has said that she was actually very jealous of me and my lifestyle. However, she has grown up now and has no need to be jealous!

Anyway, to cut a verrry long story a little shorter, I found out about these lies because she did something very spiteful to me. I suddenly realised how manipulative she had been and I was completely shocked! I told my mum of my sister's deviousness but she called me a liar and didnt speak to me for 6 months!

(Just to add, my sister has always been able to tell the most amazing lies with the straightest of faces whereas I can't lie for toffee!)

Then two months ago, my aunt died. I have always been closer to her than my own mum and her death was a shock to us all. At the funeral my sister completely ignored me and my mum told me I and my children, her grandchildren,were basically not worth bothering about! She hasnt spoken to me since.

Also in the last year I have had two sets of laser treatment for cancer, been diagnosed with diabetes and my daughter has suffered such dreadful bullying at school that I have had to take her out of school. I tried to transfer her to another school where her best friend goes because I was told they had places. Now they say they have no places and my daughter may be home for months. I'm trying to home-school her but she's resisting as much as she can.

And now today I have found out I am pregnant. BUT this is not a bad thing - it's a wonderful thing! When my son was born he had to have an operation when only 3 days old and then had kidney problems for a year, then when my daughter was a baby she had severe asthma attacks and ended up on a life-support machine. The doctors told us she would die! Thank God she pulled through but the stress was so great that I miscarried the twins I was carrying. That was ten years ago. I have brought up my children and been to college and university to get my degree. But always I missed those twins and desperately wanted another baby. Now I am 42, may still have cancerous cells, may have to have a hysterectomy, have diabetes, and have a mother who will tell me I am crazy to have another baby at my age.

Today my best friend phoned me and I told her I was pregnnant...she thought I was mad! I found myself apologising and saying it was an accident! Which is also what I said to my mum when she told me off for getting pregnant with the twins. I don't want to apologise for my baby and call him/her an accident! I want people to be pleased for me! So many people (when I was expecting the twins) said 'Oh God you DONT want to have a third baby! But THEY ALL had 3 children! So why can't I have three?

I am SO pleased to find I am having another little one after all this time!

Am I mad? Is this a really stupid thing to do at my age and with my health problems? I just really want someone to be happy for me and the one person who I thought would be pleased for me...isn't!

I just feel really upset when I want to feel really happy. Any thoughts or advice would be great at this stage as I dont know what to think anymore.

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 2:01 pm

Congratulations Rapunzel

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 2:11 pm

Thanks pompom! Thats exactly what I wanted my friends and family to say!

I think its lovely and I want it very much...I think I just need a hug.

Oh and btw - WELCOME to the Garden! :-6

Thanks Abbey...love your dancing flower! :-6

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 2:23 pm

Rapunzel wrote: I think its lovely and I want it very much...I think I just need a hug.

First: :yh_hugs :yh_hugs

Second: it IS lovely and if you want it and are happy, nothing else in the world matters.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 3:09 pm

I'm really happy for you. It's great to see someone happy about being pregnant.

actionfigurestepho · Post by **actionfigurestepho** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 3:57 pm

I don't think you're mad at all. Sounds like you've been there before and you're prepared for it...you sound like you're on the ball. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! You're a lucky lady!

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 4:03 pm

Congratulations Rapunzel.. There isnt a project on this earth worth more than overcoming any obstacle required to bring a new life into the world!! Your my kind of woman.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 4:05 pm

Rapunzel, this is one of Gods greatest gifts to you. All my joy for you ! :-6

orangesox1 · Post by **orangesox1** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 4:12 pm

Thats great, and don't let anyone take your joy away.If I fell pregnant now at 45, I would certainly keep the baby and be happy, even though it's not something I am wanting to happen I would really enjoy raising one more now the others are of my hands.

:D

Valerie100 · Post by **Valerie100** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 6:06 pm

I only have one thing to say about this nonsense with your mother and sister. Life is too short. You are family. Forgive and forget, before you lose out on anymore of each other's lives.

My father is dead. My mother is now living with a boyfriend in CA. My brother and his family are in PA. My two stepbrothers are somewhere in FL. I'm in FL, divorced, childless, boyfriendless and alone. My family is scattered and it's awful.

Family is a beautiful thing. Keep it together and let the he-said-she-said stuff fall by the wayside. It's not that important, what happened. Pick up the phone and call your mom and your sister.

Congratulations on the new one, by the way!

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 8:22 pm

EXCELLENT, CONGRADULATIONS ON YOUR BUNDLE OF JOY..

Life is to short, listen to your heart and all will be OK.. :-4

cars · Post by **cars** » Tue Oct 04, 2005 5:46 am

Rapunzel wrote: Okay...this is gonna be a long one I'm afraid!

Partial Quote:

I am SO pleased to find I am having another little one after all this time!

Am I mad? Is this a really stupid thing to do at my age and with my health problems? I just really want someone to be happy for me and the one person who I thought would be pleased for me...isn't!

I just feel really upset when I want to feel really happy. Any thoughts or advice would be great at this stage as I dont know what to think anymore.

Congratulations on your happy event!

You said that you are looking forward to this little bundle of joy, and you did want more children, therefore you're the only one that counts, so be happy for yourself! Don't let "anyone", especially family members put a damper on your joy.

I personally know about how vicious a jealous "Sister" can be, cause I have one also. Who's always causing trouble between herself, myself, & our parents. So don't let your sister ruin it for you, she can only ruin it for you only "if you let her"!!! So don't let her, & you win by being happy & content!