Invisible Abuse

[Betty Boop]

"Psychological and emotional abuse is not generally part of the rhetoric of abuse - it's more focused on the physical," says a spokeswoman for The Women's Resource Centre (WRC). She described such abuse as "invisible".

BBC News - Justin Lee Collins: Trial highlights 'invisible' abuse

Glad to see this invisible abuse is getting highlighted and talked about.

It's not just partners that get controlled either, its the children. I've witnessed this in at least three men who have been controllers towards their partners who when the partner has left the men exert control over one or all of the children to the point they stop them having a 'normal' social life.

On the flip side, why are individuals doing this to their partners, will there ever be some sort of help for them to attempt to change their behaviour rather than having to deal with all the outfall.

Although saying that I do have experience of trying to get someone to attend anger management when they're are adamant it's not them it's you. Impossible.

[koan]

I discovered the book "Men Who Hate Women And the Women Who Love Them" when I was 18 yrs old and had just left a misogynistic relationship. Though it took me a year to get over the disgust with ever having another relationship with a man, it helped me through a huge crisis. The problem isn't that you are lied to, the problem is that you lose faith in your own instincts. Certainly it's not just men who do this but those cases are better documented and studied.

Another problem is Narcissists. There is a fairly near 0% chance of a narcissist getting successful therapy as they make a game out of the therapy, convinced that they are superior to the psychologist. Narcissists are usually just as invisibly abusive to the children as to their spouse. Did a lot of research on that one after dating one for a brief time. There are some really good support groups run by children of narcissists.

[Betty Boop]

koan;1407482 wrote: Another problem is Narcissists. There is a fairly near 0% chance of a narcissist getting successful therapy as they make a game out of the therapy, convinced that they are superior to the psychologist. Narcissists are usually just as invisibly abusive to the children as to their spouse. Did a lot of research on that one after dating one for a brief time. There are some really good support groups run by children of narcissists.


You just reminded me of the time that after refusing the anger management someone decided they'd see a therapist. Went for the pre-treatment assessment and then made it to the first appointment, where the therapist spent the hour trying to put them under hypnosis. I was in the room for some of the time whilst the therapist tried, at the request of the patient. It had all been discussed prior to attempting it and he'd agreed to it, however he was not going to let the therapist have control in anyway. I did leave the room to see whether me being there was causing a problem but afterwards as we drove away from the clinic he laughed manically and told me 'no one has control of me, I could have taken control of him but I chose not to', I was horrified.

[koan]

From what I understand, a lot of psychologists will not take on a client suspected of narcissism because of the minimal chance of successful treatment. It's a no win battle. Might go looking for the significant sites that helped me to understand it. It's kind of fascinating and very useful to know about for protecting yourself against such individuals.

[Betty Boop]

koan;1407490 wrote: From what I understand, a lot of psychologists will not take on a client suspected of narcissism because of the minimal chance of successful treatment. It's a no win battle. Might go looking for the significant sites that helped me to understand it. It's kind of fascinating and very useful to know about for protecting yourself against such individuals.


Wonder at what point they realise they have one though. If they're being paid they're not going to refuse a client surely.