Adoption...

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sun Oct 21, 2012 12:38 pm

Here's one for you all.

I hope Tyr doesn't mind but his thread on Laura's painting reminded me of a recent discussion I had about nuture over nature.

Adoption of a child...

I am Interested In views because we have adopted children In the family.

This question Is this.... If you take a baby, even a new born baby, would you expect that child to behave, act and think just like you when he became an adult because you raised him or would his genes dominate your nurture?

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Sun Oct 21, 2012 12:48 pm

I wouldn't really expect his genes to dominate my nurture but I also

don't think he'd come out exactly like me, either. More of a

(hopefully pleasant!) blend.

I know it isn't quite the same with dogs, but I do know that the last

dog I raised from a pup was an outstanding individual, and this one I

have now, adopted at 5 1/2... well, not so much. She, poor girl, is a

victim, I'm sure, of very poor or non-existent nurture.

WAMOMMA · Post by **WAMOMMA** » Sun Oct 21, 2012 2:14 pm

Ill let you know when he gets older.

For now, he has my husband's mannerisms. He has my sense of humor. His birthmother and I are very much alike, so I imagine that is one reason the universe brought us all together,,,:)

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sun Oct 21, 2012 2:17 pm

Thanks for your replies...

Our J Is one of the adopted children In our family at he's 10 now. He shows absolutely no similarity to his parents. It's very Interesting I think.

WAMOMMA · Post by **WAMOMMA** » Thu Oct 25, 2012 12:26 pm

Just an FYI, November is National Adoption Month here in the States!

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Thu Oct 25, 2012 1:55 pm

I better put my four pennorth in here, because I think I said something along the lines that 'without nature, nurture don't mean a thing' which was pointed to the topic in hand.

Meaning someone that has not got a natural gift will never be able to reach the heights of somebody who has, however much they want it.

A naturally gifted musician will self teach themselves to a higher standard than a person given all the musical 'nurture' of a highly accomplished teacher.

Now about nature and nurture in a family context, nurture wins most every time.

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Fri Oct 26, 2012 2:39 am

You'll never know unless you've got about five of them ...then you'll see without any doubt ....look at kids in boarding schools . they hardly see their parents and yet .....

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Fri Oct 26, 2012 2:48 am

Bruv;1409011 wrote: I better put my four pennorth in here, because I think I said something along the lines that 'without nature, nurture don't mean a thing' which was pointed to the topic in hand.

Meaning someone that has not got a natural gift will never be able to reach the heights of somebody who has, however much they want it.

A naturally gifted musician will self teach themselves to a higher standard than a person given all the musical 'nurture' of a highly accomplished teacher.

Now about nature and nurture in a family context, nurture wins most every time.

Oh god, one thing I actually studied ...not quite Bruv. what happens is you teach nurture to people (young ones etc) but you never know the nature ..even for your own . I'ts funny when they are young, and old 'great gran aunt' says somehting along to the lines of " great uncle such 'n' such used to do that " .....some things we can't stop.....but as parents we teach 'inherited personality' to live in the now, and not in great uncle such 'n' suches day . Get my my drift? And that's exactly where nurture comes in ...I've never thought we are too far removed from our acestors when it comes to DNA personality, if you've got a pyscho you're gonna come up with them again (and we all have )...get them into banking ..they'll make you a fortune or rip you off...either way tha'ts how nurture comes into it .

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Fri Oct 26, 2012 3:44 am

fuzzywuzzy;1409032 wrote:

Get my my drift?

Not really, but when I said what I said I was asked a pointed question about artistic talent, and whether it was down to nature or nurture.

I don't believe you can nurture/teach talent, you can tutor to a higher level of accomplishment, but a non naturally gifted artist will never reach the levels of a tutored naturally talented person.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri Oct 26, 2012 9:11 am

Bruv;1409034 wrote: Not really, but when I said what I said I was asked a pointed question about artistic talent, and whether it was down to nature or nurture.

I don't believe you can nurture/teach talent, you can tutor to a higher level of accomplishment, but a non naturally gifted artist will never reach the levels of a tutored naturally talented person.

Although I agree with you I was thinking more along the lines of a newborn baby being raised by a completely different set of people. Does he naturally mimic the parents who raised him or without ever seeing his biological parents, does his genes determine he has all their characteristics ?

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Fri Oct 26, 2012 10:16 am

It was the comments about nurture and nature that prompted your train of thought for this thread, so I explained my response in that context.

I have said already that "nurture wins most every time"

I have on occasion had to say to my wife about my black African adopted daughter "doesn't she know she's black? " (They get my sense of humour.......luckily)

A child will soak up the influences of those closest to them, for good and bad, related or not.

The saying "Give me a child until he is seven...." is true, the parents influence is like a container that holds the persons own personality.

flopstock · Post by **flopstock** » Fri Oct 26, 2012 11:33 am

I have a friend with two adopted children.. they both have adopted dads grin and laugh.:-4