We All Gonna Die ... Hopefully Later Than Sooner.

Post by **jones jones** » Thu Nov 22, 2012 12:53 pm

Our lives obviously change over time & our assets or lack thereof, are different now then they might have been the first time we drafted our Last Will & Testament.

Personally, I am not in the least afraid of death and have been working on updating my Will.

As I am an Atheist, I do not want a so called "christian" burial so I am planning my funeral & would like to incorporate how it should be conducted into my Will.

Do you have any suggestions, serious or whimsical, as to what should or should not happen when I die?

Perhaps you have attended a non religious funeral & if so I would appreciate your input.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Thu Nov 22, 2012 1:00 pm

Make It a celebration of your life not your death.

Post by **jones jones** » Thu Nov 22, 2012 1:04 pm

Of course I do ... but funerals are about the people left behind.

Post by **jones jones** » Thu Nov 22, 2012 1:11 pm

I have been working on various things that I believe that those who will "celebrate my reincarnation" might enjoy hearing.

Apart from the obvious and well loved poem "Do Not Stand At My Grave & Weep,"

I think some of my own poetry might be appreciated.

This one for instance:

DRY YOUR TEARS.

Dry your tears, do not fear

In the garden of your dreams I do belong,

Turn around, you have found

I am in the sound of every lover’s song.

Lift your eyes, search the skies

You can see me in the clouds that float above,

Clear your mind, you will find

I am part of everything you say you love.

Search your heart, I am part

Of the misty morning breeze that kissed your face,

Raise your hand, touch the sand

I revolve around you like a star in space.

Touch a flower, feel the power

Of my soul existing in each crimson rose,

Know the thrill, feel the chill

As I greet you in each gentle breeze that blows.

Feel the rain, call my name

As from heaven in the storm I come to you,

Look above, look with love

For in lightning and in thunder I am too.

As you sleep, oh so deep

I am in your dreams each and every night,

As you lie, as you sigh,

I am midnight, I am darkness, I am light.

gmc · Post by **gmc** » Thu Nov 22, 2012 1:16 pm

You could always go for a humanist funeral

Humanist Funerals and Memorials

If you feel the need for some ceremony.

Get cremated and spread your ashes somewhere meaningful to you. Do make a will and your wishes clear otherwise someone else will be deciding for you. Funerals are for those you leave behind so lay aside plenty dosh so they can get pissed at your expense - at least that way they will have got some benefit out of taking the day of work.

You can get at those religious people who have blighted your life by having a pagan funeral. Haven't a clue what that would entail but in the woods, naked and an orgy afterwards ( to celebrate life) and people will talk about it for years afterwards.

Funniest funeral I ever went to was one when they had opened the wrong grave (same surname different initials, somebody didn't check properly)

Post by **jones jones** » Thu Nov 22, 2012 1:22 pm

I've heard of Humanist funerals. I am a registered "full body donor" so there isn't going to be a cadaver in any event. Its just a case of giving my loved ones "closure" I guess.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Thu Nov 22, 2012 2:05 pm

I wrote my own living will.

"When I leave this mortal coil

do not bury me In the cold dark soil.

Let my spirit run with the greats.

The Kauto's, The Denman's and the Best Mates.

Let my spirit run wild and free,

On the turfs of Cheltenham, and Aintree,

For when you see them running free,

you may perchance remember me.

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Thu Nov 22, 2012 3:00 pm

I am a 78 year old atheist that will be cremated and ashes scattered in the San Francisco Bay. I have no special thoughts on a memorial service or any thing else and will leave that up to the survivors. I have had a great life and have no regrets and still look forward to another 20 years.

In the Age Restricted Active Retirement Community in which I live, with an average age presently of 72 (6,00 people) , the last few funerals have been a Memorial Service depicting a Celebration of Life.

Snowfire · Post by **Snowfire** » Thu Nov 22, 2012 3:58 pm

No prayers or hymns for me and no black ties. I havent decided yet whether it will be a cremation or cardboard coffin, maybe both. Music ? Maybe Great Gig in the Sky by Pink Floyd or Wish You Were Here

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Thu Nov 22, 2012 4:38 pm

My husband & I will be cremated and ashes scattered in Hawaii from Punch Bowl.

We both have decided we don't want a gathering of people over at our house.

We both have decided no ceremony/celebration just state services are private.

I don't feel a funeral is closure - it's a old established custom.

Snowfire - "Free Bird" is a good choice of music

Patsy

Lady J · Post by **Lady J** » Thu Nov 22, 2012 6:56 pm

jones jones;1411125 wrote: I have been working on various things that I believe that those who will "celebrate my reincarnation" might enjoy hearing.

Apart from the obvious and well loved poem "Do Not Stand At My Grave & Weep,"

I think some of my own poetry might be appreciated.

This one for instance:

DRY YOUR TEARS.

Dry your tears, do not fear

In the garden of your dreams I do belong,

Turn around, you have found

I am in the sound of every loverï¿½s song.

Lift your eyes, search the skies

You can see me in the clouds that float above,

Clear your mind, you will find

I am part of everything you say you love.

Search your heart, I am part

Of the misty morning breeze that kissed your face,

Raise your hand, touch the sand

I revolve around you like a star in space.

Touch a flower, feel the power

Of my soul existing in each crimson rose,

Know the thrill, feel the chill

As I greet you in each gentle breeze that blows.

Feel the rain, call my name

As from heaven in the storm I come to you,

Look above, look with love

For in lightning and in thunder I am too.

As you sleep, oh so deep

I am in your dreams each and every night,

As you lie, as you sigh,

I am midnight, I am darkness, I am light.

A very well written poem Jj ~~~ I like it and for a lost loved one it would be true.

Post by **LarsMac** » Thu Nov 22, 2012 6:59 pm

I just plan to let whoever is left behind figure out what to do. After all, it is for them.

I suggested to my wife to cremate me and dump the ashes in the back of my brother's pick-up.

Then he can drive around the country, scattering my ashes.

My friends plan to throw a 'kegger' with the money I will leave them.

Lady J · Post by **Lady J** » Thu Nov 22, 2012 7:20 pm

I think you should put in your will for a huge party in your honor. All of your friends would be invited and the main dish would be your chicken with fennel. Your poems and verses from your stories would be read and everyone would eat and drink!

In my personal opinion I don't think funerals bring closure. They bring a lot of tears and show you have support but usually that support is only for the moment.

Closure comes from within yourself and knowing you were all you could have been to that person, you loved them with all your worth. If you did not treat them in this fashion when they were living then I don't think anything can bring you closure once they are gone. I would rather have people remember me as spirit full of life.

Music could be "It's a Dead Man's Party"

Oingo Boingo - It's a Dead Man's Party - YouTube

Great, fun video BTW!!!

Snowfire · Post by **Snowfire** » Fri Nov 23, 2012 11:28 am

Patsy Warnick;1411141 wrote: .......

I don't feel a funeral is closure - it's a old established custom.

Snowfire - "Free Bird" is a good choice of music

Patsy

Freebird would be great. I like the sound of that. Making them all sit there for, what, 15 minutes until it finishes ? I like the sound of that too

Wandrin · Post by **Wandrin** » Fri Nov 23, 2012 12:05 pm

There is a company that makes a little kit. The ashes from cremation go into a little slot and serve as part of the package. The whole thing is centered around the seed for a tree. Thus the ashes become part of the nutrients for a new tree. I like that.

Wandrin · Post by **Wandrin** » Fri Nov 23, 2012 6:37 pm

And then there is the company that will take your cremated ashes and put them into a fireworks rocket. You can go out with a bang and pretty lights and be scattered over a wide area. That sounds like fun.

Snowfire · Post by **Snowfire** » Sat Nov 24, 2012 11:23 am

Wandrin;1411220 wrote: And then there is the company that will take your cremated ashes and put them into a fireworks rocket. You can go out with a bang and pretty lights and be scattered over a wide area. That sounds like fun.

Love the sound of that. No long, drawn out ceremony. Whizz, bang, lets all go down the pub....well not me obviously

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Sun Nov 25, 2012 4:08 pm

jones jones;1411122 wrote: Our lives obviously change over time & our assets or lack thereof, are different now then they might have been the first time we drafted our Last Will & Testament.

Personally, I am not in the least afraid of death and have been working on updating my Will.

As I am an Atheist, I do not want a so called "christian" burial so I am planning my funeral & would like to incorporate how it should be conducted into my Will.

Do you have any suggestions, serious or whimsical, as to what should or should not happen when I die?

Perhaps you have attended a non religious funeral & if so I would appreciate your input.

My situation has changed since I drafted my Last Will and Testament - my youngest was a child and now she's an adult so my new will will treat her exactly as the other children rather than covering her upbringing.

As for my passing - close the door and turn out the lights!

In reality there needs to be a point of closure for those who care and I'd prefer that to be a celebration of what I was than a dirge for death.

So, to answer the question, I'd suggest a private cremation with a public wake - tab to be picked up by the estate.

I've been to a Humanist cremation and I was not impressed. The ?celebrant? gave a reasonable eulogy but, for example, one of the sons took at least three 'phone calls during the ceremony and it was a big distraction. Let the disposal be private and start with a remembrance for those who wish to say goodbye.

Each to his own - you asked

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sun Nov 25, 2012 4:18 pm

I'd better write a will first.

Hopefully I'm going in the ground with my Dad, there's one space left there and I've requested to be placed there. Everyone else seems to want cremation which I can't quite get my head round.

No idea what to do after, I know I'd want the ceremony to be light and no heavy hymns like 'The Rugged Cross', those hymns reduce me to a wreck at funerals. Not really a church goer at all, seems odd to be there for my funeral. Will have to start planning something alternative lol

Post by **LarsMac** » Sun Nov 25, 2012 5:32 pm

My wife just told my that the ashes will be perfect in her rose garden, and my buddies had better clean up after the kegger.

My assets will be divvied up among the kids, and the pastor wants to have a funeral service in hopes of turning a few souls in the bargain.

Says, my life offers a lot of opportunities for lessons.

I'm all set, lest I outlive the lot and have to make other plans.

Post by **LarsMac** » Sun Nov 25, 2012 5:33 pm

Thinking a bit more about it, I have decided to have the kegger BEFORE I go.

Post by **jones jones** » Mon Nov 26, 2012 9:52 am

I've read all your replies to my original thread and have taken cognisance of what you've said/suggested.

So I figure the best might be to (obviously) dispense with the clergyman/church scenario so as not to unduly embarrass the poor reverend who would not know me from a bar of soap, and just go for maybe a "service" at the funeral home. Here a few notes on what/who/when/why/how (for the sake of the believers) could be given to the person officiating and then the wake/celebration can continue at my erstwhile place of residence.

Like I said, unless something changes, there will be no corpse ... no flowers whatever, so once everyone is gathered at my home, the "party" can begin. Here whatever happens happens ... I ain't gonna be there so I couldn't give a flying fosbury flop what happens or doesn't.

I will be out searching for a host for my life force!