Help or guidance for my faux pas.

theia · Post by **theia** » Wed Jun 26, 2013 11:13 am

Accountable;1430609 wrote: Sometimes I feel that I should apologize to someone, regardless of whether the target agrees or not, regardless that lots of people are more rude than I, ... regardless.

I've found that if I approach the matter in any conventional way ("I want to apologize", "I think I might have offended you", etc) I invariably get shut down pretty automatically, as is expected today. "Oh, there's no need" or some such.

There is one technique I've found that has works consistently for me. I approach the person, look them square in the eye, and with as much sincerity as I can convey, say, "May I apologize to you?"

My guess is that such an approach communicates that it is important to me that I set things right, rather than I am doing this because it is expected. Hope that helps.

I like that, Acc.

Týr · Post by **Týr** » Wed Jun 26, 2013 11:16 am

Accountable;1430609 wrote: My guess is that such an approach communicates that it is important to me that I set things right, rather than I am doing this because it is expected. Hope that helps.

He'd draw the line at starting with "Listen up, this is an apology" or I'd push for that.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Wed Jun 26, 2013 11:23 am

oscar;1430611 wrote: That's where my dialogue would end with :

no, feck off:wah: And I would've got to fecking.

That response would be fine because that likely would have been your response no matter what I'd done.

Snooz · Post by **Snooz** » Wed Jun 26, 2013 11:24 am

oscar;1430611 wrote: That's where my dialogue would end with :

no, feck off

I think I'd be more like "get out of my face, weirdo."

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed Jun 26, 2013 11:32 am

SnoozeAgain;1430615 wrote: I think I'd be more like "get out of my face, weirdo." I'd follow 'No feck off' with " Don't patronise me you condescending wanker "

Actually, that's exactly what I said to a woman from the Pensions department on the phone last week. She apologised. She was rude to my husband.

Snooz · Post by **Snooz** » Wed Jun 26, 2013 11:33 am

And then call for the police and report you have a stalker.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed Jun 26, 2013 11:37 am

SnoozeAgain;1430617 wrote: And then call for the police and report you have a stalker. Can I report virtual stalkers on virtual games? That fairy keeps following me on Solitaire Saga

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Wed Jun 26, 2013 12:54 pm

oscar;1430601 wrote: Neat trick to get members to read your journal, :wah:

Deck him Bruv

Nah!!!

I am trying very hard not to rise to his bait, he is a master baiter par excellence.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Wed Jun 26, 2013 12:57 pm

Accountable;1430609 wrote: Sometimes I feel that I should apologize to someone, regardless of whether the target agrees or not, regardless that lots of people are more rude than I, ... regardless.

I've found that if I approach the matter in any conventional way ("I want to apologize", "I think I might have offended you", etc) I invariably get shut down pretty automatically, as is expected today. "Oh, there's no need" or some such.

There is one technique I've found that has works consistently for me. I approach the person, look them square in the eye, and with as much sincerity as I can convey, say, "May I apologize to you?"

My guess is that such an approach communicates that it is important to me that I set things right, rather than I am doing this because it is expected. Hope that helps.

You and I have a lot in common........sorry.

I am liking that approach, and that is the way I shall go.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Thu Jun 27, 2013 6:16 am

Bruv;1430625 wrote: You and I have a lot in common........sorry.

Bruv;1430625 wrote: I am liking that approach, and that is the way I shall go.good luck.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 9:10 am

A thread with 110 posts all about my saying to a young Doctor, "are you the girl that should have phoned yesterday" and whether that warrants an apology.

Suggestions have ranged from decking her for being gobby,and ignoring it because she probably gets worse.

The wise have said that was immaterial, it is how I feel about the assumed insult and the apology that matters most.

There was also a minor diversion from a self appointed authority on the English language, who deigns to grace this forum with superior content and attitude, for which it appears we should all be grateful.

Anyway.....................I digress, I made the appointment today in good time, awaited the call for my name and low and behold, I saw The Topman, The Consultant that I should have seen on my previous visits, which up now I hadn't.

The "girl" was nowhere to be seen.

The content of the conversation is not relevant to this thread, but when given the opportunity I did ask him to convey my apologies to Catherine and explained the reason for it......he said "I am sure Catherine is thicker skinned than that"

I shall keep an eye out for the Lady on future visits, and will apologise if she allows me.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 9:22 am

Bruv;1430711 wrote:

There was also a minor diversion from a self appointed authority on the English language, who deigns to grace this forum with superior content and attitude, for which it appears we should all be grateful.

Who's that then ?

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 10:00 am

Bruv;1430711 wrote: A thread with 110 posts all about my saying to a young Doctor, "are you the girl that should have phoned yesterday" and whether that warrants an apology.

Suggestions have ranged from decking her for being gobby,and ignoring it because she probably gets worse.

The wise have said that was immaterial, it is how I feel about the assumed insult and the apology that matters most.

There was also a minor diversion from a self appointed authority on the English language, who deigns to grace this forum with superior content and attitude, for which it appears we should all be grateful.

Anyway.....................I digress, I made the appointment today in good time, awaited the call for my name and low and behold, I saw The Topman, The Consultant that I should have seen on my previous visits, which up now I hadn't.

The "girl" was nowhere to be seen.

The content of the conversation is not relevant to this thread, but when given the opportunity I did ask him to convey my apologies to Catherine and explained the reason for it......he said "I am sure Catherine is thicker skinned than that"

I shall keep an eye out for the Lady on future visits, and will apologise if she allows me.
I think she was avoiding you.:sneaky::wah:

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 10:04 am

YZGI;1430717 wrote: I think she was avoiding you.:sneaky::wah: I don't think she was a Doctor now, more one of those mental people who sneak Into hospitals, steals a stethescope and a white coat to blend In and then causes havoc.

Post by **jones jones** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 10:19 am

There was also a minor diversion from a self appointed authority on the English language, who deigns to grace this forum with superior content and attitude, for which it appears we should all be grateful.

Who was probably responsible for you getting most of the replies you received. Do you in your wildest dreams believe that you ... the Bruvsta aka Salacious Crumb have a following on FG? :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Think again dude!! :wah::wah::wah:

The Chosen One reigns (oops reins?) supreme!!

Snooz · Post by **Snooz** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 10:36 am

Bruv;1430711 wrote: A thread with 110 posts all about my saying to a young Doctor, "are you the girl that should have phoned yesterday" and whether that warrants an apology.

Suggestions have ranged from decking her for being gobby,and ignoring it because she probably gets worse.

The wise have said that was immaterial, it is how I feel about the assumed insult and the apology that matters most.

There was also a minor diversion from a self appointed authority on the English language, who deigns to grace this forum with superior content and attitude, for which it appears we should all be grateful.

Anyway.....................I digress, I made the appointment today in good time, awaited the call for my name and low and behold, I saw The Topman, The Consultant that I should have seen on my previous visits, which up now I hadn't.

The "girl" was nowhere to be seen.

The content of the conversation is not relevant to this thread, but when given the opportunity I did ask him to convey my apologies to Catherine and explained the reason for it......he said "I am sure Catherine is thicker skinned than that"

I shall keep an eye out for the Lady on future visits, and will apologise if she allows me.

Well look at that, the Topman agrees with me. Ha!

Snooz · Post by **Snooz** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 10:38 am

oscar;1430718 wrote: I don't think she was a Doctor now, more one of those mental people who sneak Into hospitals, steals a stethescope and a white coat to blend In and then causes havoc.

And then randomly phones patients to act annoyed and insulted when they don't recognize her.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 11:11 am

SnoozeAgain;1430726 wrote: And then randomly phones patients to act annoyed and insulted when they don't recognize her. She may have Munchausen By Proxy

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 11:20 am

Well...............what can I say other than thank you to my vast hoard of followers, who helped me in this modern dilemma of courtesy and manners, giving their time for nothing more than the pleasure of international friendship.......................and of course A.N Other for adding the spice, what would we all do without his input to add colour and balance?

Oh Jesus I am turning into my own worst dream............I take all this post back.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 11:25 am

oscar;1430727 wrote: She may have Munchausen By Proxy

Is that Geordie for something ?

Post by **jones jones** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 11:27 am

Bruv;1430728 wrote: Well...............what can I say other than thank you to my vast hoard of followers, who helped me in this modern dilemma of courtesy and manners, giving their time for nothing more than the pleasure of international friendship.......................and of course A.N Other for adding the spice, what would we all do without his input to add colour and balance?

Oh Jesus I am turning into my own worst dream............I take all this post back.

Too late cousin Bruv! You know if we had met under different circumstances I think I might even have had a blonde moment at given you a hug! You are so adorable at times! Mwaaah!