Most of us are average dudes and dudesses … right? So we are born, sometimes with a silver spoon in our mouths, but more often or not we are just like born. Unless we are weird to the enth degree, we have no knowledge of about the first five years of our lives. Yes, yes I know there are many of you who will dispute this and claim that you remember every breath you took and every heartbeat from the moment your mother went into labour. That’s cool … whatever floats your boat. But I’m taking about Mister & Ms average here.
As six and seven year olds we used to cling to our mother’s skirts and simply knew that this earthling was the be all and end all of our existence. She was there for us at breakfast, she was there for us when we came out of school, and she was there for us at lunch, at supper, at bath time and at bedtime. Oh there was also this other usually grumpy droid who wasn’t around at breakfast, except on weekends that came home just in time for supper and like wasn’t at all like mom.
And so we aged into puberty at around the twelve year old mark. If we were lucky/unlucky enough to have an older sister or brother, we couldn’t help but notice that big brother spent lots of time in the bathroom doing who knows what. Later when we reached the same age the question answered itself.
Older sis spent a lot of time staring in the mirror, squabbling with dad, speaking in private with mom and crying. Sometimes a random dude arrived at out house and after the grumpy droid had checked him out he and big sis left together.
Then one day, remember I’m a male, something weird happened. My boobs aka tits started feeling painful and big bro laughed his head off and said stuff like … “He’s got stoneys!” and “Bet his nuts have dropped!”
And you started getting like embarrassed when chicks were around and every zit on your face on a Friday night was a disaster and Clearasil was big in your life. And one night a buddy took you to a bar where you could buy a brandy and Coke even being under age. And when you got home mom asked why you were like so falling about and later you realised that she knew but just didn’t wanna believe that her baby was stoned.
To Be Continued Later … If anyone cares …
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So What IS Love?
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- jones jones
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So What IS Love?
Post by jones jones »
"…I hate how I don’t feel real enough unless people are watching." — Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
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