don't let your child leave the country for grad trip

[lady cop]

most young people who take these grad trips come home just fine....but once again, i want to warn parents that a legal problem in another country can be a real headache. why not let them party in the states? why do they have to go to mexico or the caribbean? this is about grad parties, NOT educational trips. we would be naive to think grad parties are all about the local scenery or history.

[robinseggs]

spot wrote: Well, thank you for that great vote of confidence, robinseggs. I think I've made an exceptionally fine job of bringing my daughter up, thank you. There are indeed odds I can stack up, and I did just that. Perhaps, rather than be thought inept, I should tell you about them, since they reflect rather poorly on the "keep children in cotton wool" mentality you put forward.

OK, some statistics first. Let's talk about reality, and then consider whether my daughter took an unreasonable risk in travelling with a schoolfriend "unchaperoned".

The gap year abroad between school and university has become a rite of passage for tens of thousands of British young people each year. 25,000 teenagers from the UK to take gap years, travelling abroad, every year. Besides these, each year, more than 200,000 British people aged between 18 and 24 take a break from studying to travel abroad.

Taking 2000-2001 figures, the most recent I can find fully collated, all UK travellers made a total of 56 million trips abroad in 2000, and there were 1,800 deaths, most of them from natural causes. A total of 183 people died in road accidents, 54 committed suicide and 43 were murdered. Of these, some were on their gap year. You can work out the proportion from the first paragraph.

If you think I've missed anything in the list at the end of this post, do please let me know, but I'm not bad at gathering data and I think I've got this right. If you want me to post a supplement with names and details, I will, but not without someone asking first.

In summary, in the last five years, from 125,000 gap year travellers, excluding traffic accidents, I can find thirteen murdered (seven in one incident) and thirteen accidental deaths.

Now, perhaps you'd like to compare this "rite of passage" with the grad parties that another thread recently discussed as a US alternative to gap year travel. I can guarantee, for example, that neither my daughter nor the girl she travelled with spent so much as a single evening drunk while on their journey. They are both trustworthy and responsible, they went out and they brought themselves back, and I'm quite pleased with them.



Here's a dated list summary. Over the last five years, this is as complete a list as I can make of ALL UK gap-year related deaths:

March 05, 2005 20-year-old daughter killed in a car crash in Brazil.

February 16, 2005 Two gap-year students working on a conservation project in Mexico died in a coach crash.

October 29, 2004, Two former pupils died accidentally within hours of each other while on gap year breaks.

October 25, 2004, A teenager due to start his studies at Newcastle University fell 14 floors to his death down a lift shaft during a trip to South America.

October, 2004, Student vanished after jetting off to Bangkok in Thailand, possibly died in the tsunami.

July 13, 2004, 21-year-old died at home of cerebral malaria contracted on a gap year trip to Australia and Thailand.

May 2, 2004, Gap year student killed in a road crash in South Africa.

March 31, 2004 19-year-old girl died when she fell from her kayak and was trapped under a rock in swollen waters in New Zealand.

December 11, 2003, A British gap-year student told yesterday how she held her Israeli boyfriend in her arms as he bled to death after his throat was slashed on a ferry in the Bay of Bengal.

October 23, 2003, 18-year-old pupil died in a freak kayaking accident in Laos.

April 21, 2003 British gap year student killed in a bus crash in Argentina.

February, 2003, Irish girl attacked from behind in Hampston, south west London, after a night out with friends last February.

October 16, 2002, Bali bomb explosion: two UK gap year girls died.

September 23, 2002 Jewish teenager from Glasgow died after a suicide bomb attack on a Tel Aviv bus.

July 17, 2002, A 20 year old gap-year student drowned in South Africa.

May 15, 2002 Amateur rugby player died in a car crash on a gap year holiday in Australia.

April 27, 2002, An ecology student died in a diving accident off Fiji.

March 13, 2002, A gap year student killed by a crocodile in an African lake.

March 13, 2002 A student died after becoming seasick on a fishing expedition on a gap year trip in Australia.

February 20, 2002, A British teenager on his gap year in Australia died after diving into a flooded creek and hitting his head on submerged rocks.



April, 2002, a gap-year backpacker from York pushed off a bridge in Queensland Australia.

March 19, 2001, A pick-up truck crashed in Malawi killing three British teenagers on a gap year trip.

January 15, 2001, teenage daughter died two weeks after receiving a huge electric shock while travelling in Ecuador during her gap year.

August 11, 2000, murder of British backpacker in Chiang Mai, Thailand, by a policeman.

July, 2000, Arson at a hostel in Childers, Australia killed 15 travellers, seven of them British.

April 4, 2000, A backpacker died when he was struck by a car in Switzerland driven by a motorist who was allegedly drunk and using a mobile phone.


EWWWWW!!!! NO offense, but thank God you weren't MY mother! LOL

[spot]

You still haven't dealt with the question of anyone on these grad trips getting into legal trouble for drinking alcohol, Lady. Within the USA you tell me they'd get arrested for drinking. Out of the USA they can do it legally. You continually emphasise that the purpose of the grad parties is the partying, not the educational aspect.

Why do you think they're safe from prosecution for consuming alcohol, within the USA?

I'm sure there's an answer, but I haven't heard it yet.

[spot]

robinseggs wrote: EWWWWW!!!! NO offense, but thank God you weren't MY mother! LOLYou'll be pleased to hear, then, that if I were, there's no way you'd have had permission from me to go on a trip like that. The girl who went was ready for it and had my confidence. For one thing, I'd sat her down and taught her Statistics at an early age.

[lady cop]

spot wrote: You still haven't dealt with the question of anyone on these grad trips getting into legal trouble for drinking alcohol, Lady. Within the USA you tell me they'd get arrested for drinking. Out of the USA they can do it legally. You continually emphasise that the purpose of the grad parties is the partying, not the educational aspect.



Why do you think they're safe from prosecution for consuming alcohol, within the USA?



I'm sure there's an answer, but I haven't heard it yet.Spot i HAVE addressed it in several ways. where did i say they wouldn't be prosecuted in the states?? we DO prosecute for underage possession. what i DID say is that if they are arrested on breaking some local ordinance in some third world country, they could be screwed, why must you nitpick every single thing i say?? everybody else seems to get it. it's a simple concept really. LEGAL PROBLEMS IN OTHER COUNTRIES CAN BE A HUGE MESS!! SIMPLE!! i am not answering you anymore since you are intent on nickel-diming me to death. rave on. all by yourself.

[spot]

Not at all, Lady - I'm not picking at a small matter. What they do is legal abroad but not legal domestically. I think that's a major part of the discussion.

[gmc]

posted by robinseggs

Are you nuts? You have got to be kidding me...why can't you see Lady Cop's point? Your daughter is 18. You are her parent! Do you actually believe she is old enough to make the decisions of an adult? And what about in a situation that has become very dangerous? Does not sound like she had a chaperone on her trip. Two young girls hiking alone in


Curious comment, if you don't mind me saying so. In the UK at 18 you are legally an adult, drive, vote, drink etc, even if spot had wanted to stop her he wouldn't have been able to -assuming she had her own funds. What's the voting age in the US I assumed it was 18-is it 21 as well?

posted by ladycop

Spot i HAVE addressed it in several ways. where did i say they wouldn't be prosecuted in the states?? we DO prosecute for underage possession.


Is it a criminal offence? Pity the poor British traveller that innocently buys a drink in the US-I suspect it wouldn't occur to most UK 19 & 20 year olds that you have to be over 21 to buy a drink.

[lady cop]

gmc wrote:



posted by ladycop





Is it a criminal offence? Pity the poor British traveller that innocently buys a drink in the US-I suspect it wouldn't occur to most UK 19 & 20 year olds that you have to be over 21 to buy a drink.underage possession IS an offense, but i would certainly cut some slack to the foreign traveler. we do have some discretion. we use that ordinance mostly to control the out-of-control youth who is drunk and disorderly in public. and the dram-shop owners are asking for ID, to protect themselves from prosecution.

[spot]

You know, I've been trying to get you to say that for a while, Lady. That the USA has this federal-wide ordinance against under-age drinking but that it's only enforced when the officers of the law feel inclined. That's probably what's at the back of you saying that grad parties within the USA are a better idea than abroad, the fact that you doubt the law on drinking would be enforced on them.

I don't think I approve of law enforcement agencies having laws at their disposal which they only enforce when they feel it's appropriate.

[lady cop]

you have twisted my words. and i don't care what you approve of. come out here and do my job. i said i had discretion. i'd rather take some kid home than take him/her to jail. unless they are causing a public disturbance. once again, WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH LEGAL PROBLEMS IN OTHER COUNTRIES??

[spot]

What does this have to do with legal problems in other countries? Your argument in favor of domestic grad parties depends on the drinkers not being prosecuted within the USA, that's all. You take it for granted that they won't be. Given that there's a law against underage drinking in the USA, I'm surprised you think they'll not be prosecuted, but that's what you're saying.

As for the dangers of being caught up by the laws of other lands, I'm sure it's a problem on occasion. Whether it's so much of a problem that you'd never want to travel abroad, that's another matter. As far as grad parties are concerned, if they're safe from prosecution for underage drinking in the USA then fine, have them there. Are they?

[robinseggs]

spot wrote: You'll be pleased to hear, then, that if I were, there's no way you'd have had permission from me to go on a trip like that. The girl who went was ready for it and had my confidence. For one thing, I'd sat her down and taught her Statistics at an early age.


Statistics huh?? And on what basis have you decided that I am too young/immature to have gone and taken that trip had I BEEN yours????? All I can say is that the mothers/fathers of these poor victims like the Aruba girl and the girl sitting in a prison in Peru must have felt pretty comfortable in their liberal ways too...and now look--they will probably never see them again. Pretty sad. By the way I am 36. And I can say I have seen much of the world...(there's lots of time) but how glad I am that my parents had enough sense to say "NO" to me when I was 18. I waited to take my trips.

[robinseggs]

gmc wrote: posted by robinseggs



Curious comment, if you don't mind me saying so. In the UK at 18 you are legally an adult, drive, vote, drink etc, even if spot had wanted to stop her he wouldn't have been able to -assuming she had her own funds. What's the voting age in the US I assumed it was 18-is it 21 as well?

posted by ladycop



Is it a criminal offence? Pity the poor British traveller that innocently buys a drink in the US-I suspect it wouldn't occur to most UK 19 & 20 year olds that you have to be over 21 to buy a drink.


Which also brings me to the point that when I was 18, I was still my parent's daughter and I STILL RESPECTED their authority. Thankfully, I did not inherit such liberal ways that I felt just because I was 18, I didn't have to listen to anybody and could take on the world.

[spot]

Goodness me, robinseggs, had anyone asked me earlier whether politics could intrude into this thread, I'd have guessed wrong and said no.

As a background detail, 5400 US citizens are arrested abroad every year, of the 24,452,000 who travel, which is maybe one in five thousand travellers. An 18 year old US teenager who travels abroad is more likely to die in the USA that year, than be arrested abroad on his or her trip.

To sum up, I think we've reached the point, regarding grad parties, where we have agreed that:

1. "these grad trips involve a lot of drinking and it's usually a wild time"

2. "we DO prosecute for underage possession" (in the USA)

3. "it costs a fortune to get your kid out of a mexican jail, IF you can get them out."

which leads me to suggest that there is no safe venue for US grad trips, which "involve a lot of drinking", either abroad or domestically.

I suggested that the reason US children on grad trips do a lot of drinking is that they've not been introduced to social drinking at an age when they can be watched and helped by their parents.

On a point of information, the position in the UK regarding the consumption of alcohol by children is that it's illegal to provide "any child under the age of five years any intoxicating liquor..., except upon the order of a duly qualified medical practitioner, or in case of sickness, apprehended sickness, or other urgent cause... liable to a fine not exceeding...".

From their fifth birthday, children in the UK are able to experience social drinking domestically, within their homes. This seems far healthier for society than either total prohibition or relying on the discretionary powers of individual law enforcement officers who would, perhaps, "rather take some kid home than take him/her to jail. unless they are causing a public disturbance", but who at all times retain the power to arrest any or every underage drinker, in any setting, should they feel inclined.

Given the current rules in the USA, I'd suggest that no parent should allow any child to go on a grad trip at all, within the USA or abroad. The grad trippers need practical education, and it's illegal to practically educate them within the States.

[gmc]

posted by robin8eggs

Which also brings me to the point that when I was 18, I was still my parent's daughter and I STILL RESPECTED their authority. Thankfully, I did not inherit such liberal ways that I felt just because I was 18, I didn't have to listen to anybody and could take on the world.


Liberal ways? What has that got to do with it? It just seemed an odd way of looking at it, by 18 you tend to expect them to be acting like young adults, you give the impression you think someone that age is incapable of making their own decisions which is what I found curious-yet it is the age where they are deciding on careers, further education etc.

At 18 in the UK they are legally adult whether you believe they are responsible or not at that point if they are not well on their way to being responsible it's too late. realistically most couldn't afford a "gap" year anyway-you have to be fairly well off to do that, most 18 year olds are either looking for work, at work. Most of the ones that go backpacking are fairly sensible, mostly they are plder anyway. it's the 18-30 crowd in Ibitha with their mates that are more at risk.

posted by spot

From their fifth birthday, children in the UK are able to experience social drinking domestically, within their homes. This seems far healthier for society than either total prohibition or relying on the discretionary powers of individual law enforcement officers who would, perhaps, "rather take some kid home than take him/her to jail. unless they are causing a public disturbance", but who at all times retain the power to arrest any or every underage drinker, in any setting, should they feel inclined.


In Scotland it's twelve. I think

[spot]

gmc wrote: In Scotland it's twelve. I thinkI should have looked more closely at the preamble - yes, the 1933 Act refers to England only. It's surprising how often that happens. I've not been able to find the equivalent Scottish Act, though.

[robinseggs]

spot wrote: Goodness me, robinseggs, had anyone asked me earlier whether politics could intrude into this thread, I'd have guessed wrong and said no.

As a background detail, 5400 US citizens are arrested abroad every year, of the 24,452,000 who travel, which is maybe one in five thousand travellers. An 18 year old US teenager who travels abroad is more likely to die in the USA that year, than be arrested abroad on his or her trip.

To sum up, I think we've reached the point, regarding grad parties, where we have agreed that:

1. "these grad trips involve a lot of drinking and it's usually a wild time"

2. "we DO prosecute for underage possession" (in the USA)

3. "it costs a fortune to get your kid out of a mexican jail, IF you can get them out."

which leads me to suggest that there is no safe venue for US grad trips, which "involve a lot of drinking", either abroad or domestically.

I suggested that the reason US children on grad trips do a lot of drinking is that they've not been introduced to social drinking at an age when they can be watched and helped by their parents.

On a point of information, the position in the UK regarding the consumption of alcohol by children is that it's illegal to provide "any child under the age of five years any intoxicating liquor..., except upon the order of a duly qualified medical practitioner, or in case of sickness, apprehended sickness, or other urgent cause... liable to a fine not exceeding...".

From their fifth birthday, children in the UK are able to experience social drinking domestically, within their homes. This seems far healthier for society than either total prohibition or relying on the discretionary powers of individual law enforcement officers who would, perhaps, "rather take some kid home than take him/her to jail. unless they are causing a public disturbance", but who at all times retain the power to arrest any or every underage drinker, in any setting, should they feel inclined.

Given the current rules in the USA, I'd suggest that no parent should allow any child to go on a grad trip at all, within the USA or abroad. The grad trippers need practical education, and it's illegal to practically educate them within the States.


Truely when I said "liberal" I meant it by the literal sense of the word. Nothing political I swear!! Honest.

[FloJo]

The head of the history department at my high school used to take a bunch of kids to Europe every year. Her daughter helped her by chaperoning. Their way was paid because they arranged the trip. Every trip, some kids would stray away for at least part of a night if not all night. It was scary and chaotic, but no one was ever harmed, so they were very lucky in my book. This was years ago when the world was a different place than now. The idea of taking a bunch of teens (no matter what age they are in that category) outside the US seems crazy to me. There has been a study showing people of that age are not able to make reasonable decisions on a regular basis because their brains haven't matured enough to be counted on to do so. I believe this. It's also why there is a growing support for making the legal age for driving much higher than it is now.

[weeder]

I agree with you LC. Drinking or not.. We have to acess the world by the way it is now. It is a fine line.. Raise your children not to be fearful.. encourage them to be adventurous.. or use adult judgement to keep them safe. 18 year olds do not have the life experience to have honed their discernment skills. We as parents have to choose who to trust them to. I know that I was very careful about making anyone responsible for the welfare of my children. We live in an age where even clergy have proven themselves not to be morally fit, and certainly not concerned with the welfare of the young. There also is the resentment factor to consider. When acts of violence or hatred are acted out against those who are perceived to have.... by have nots. The gift of a trip outside of the country to a teenager screams affluence and spawns contempt, or jealousy....unfortunately.

[panther86]

spot wrote:

I suggested that the reason US children on grad trips do a lot of drinking is that they've not been introduced to social drinking at an age when they can be watched and helped by their parents.

On a point of information, the position in the UK regarding the consumption of alcohol by children is that it's illegal to provide "any child under the age of five years any intoxicating liquor..., except upon the order of a duly qualified medical practitioner, or in case of sickness, apprehended sickness, or other urgent cause... liable to a fine not exceeding...".

From their fifth birthday, children in the UK are able to experience social drinking domestically, within their homes. This seems far healthier for society than either total prohibition or relying on the discretionary powers of individual law enforcement officers who would, perhaps, "rather take some kid home than take him/her to jail. unless they are causing a public disturbance", but who at all times retain the power to arrest any or every underage drinker, in any setting, should they feel inclined.

Given the current rules in the USA, I'd suggest that no parent should allow any child to go on a grad trip at all, within the USA or abroad. The grad trippers need practical education, and it's illegal to practically educate them within the States.
if you have a problem with u.s. children not being exposed to social drinking, EXPOSE them to social drinking at an early age. there is no national ban in the united states on underage drinking assuming the alcohol is "provided by a parent or guardian and consumed in the presence of the parent or guardian" according to washington state law, and it is probably similar in most states. This is where that information is located:

http://www.leg.wa.gov/RCW/index.cfm?sec ... on=section

legally parents can serve alcohol to thier children, if you want to educate your children about social drinking, serve wine with dinner.

[gmc]

posted by weeder

I agree with you LC. Drinking or not.. We have to acess the world by the way it is now. It is a fine line.. Raise your children not to be fearful.. encourage them to be adventurous.. or use adult judgement to keep them safe. 18 year olds do not have the life experience to have honed their discernment skills. We as parents have to choose who to trust them to. I know that I was very careful about making anyone responsible for the welfare of my children. We live in an age where even clergy have proven themselves not to be morally fit, and certainly not concerned with the welfare of the young. There also is the resentment factor to consider. When acts of violence or hatred are acted out against those who are perceived to have.... by have nots. The gift of a trip outside of the country to a teenager screams affluence and spawns contempt, or jealousy....unfortunately.


You really do need to get out of America more. Most europeans have tavelled fairly widely, it's odd if you haven't been abroad. australians seem to take two years off just to see the erst of the world. Frankly I would be more concerned driving around america than I would across europe-or even in to eastern europe. Not least because the odds of my meeting someone carrying a gun are fairly remote. It's very rare nowadays to meet someone in the UK that hasn't been abroad thanks to cheap package holidays etc. On the continent it's even easier now thanks to the relaxing of border controls.

Interesting the different perspectives though. I was on malta and got talking to one of the local farmers-he was wondering what I was doing looking at his olive groves and he was fascinated that i had never seen one before. His idea of a good holiday was to go somewhere cold, he's never been to a country like scotland where everything was green, that also he had seen pictures of but just couldn't accept what he saw. I met a Texan couple in the middle of he Scottish hills mountain biking across Scotland. They thought mist and rain was wonderful even if they did look like drowned rats

See the world, go somewhere where nobody can understand what you say. Peole are the same the world over.

[spot]

I thought I'd offer this - it's the trip I used in this thread as underpinning for some of my views, as written up this week by my daughter for her school magazine. I didn't get far in persuading people that it can be done safely, maybe she can get the message across better than I did.



When I decided to go travelling in my gap year, I realised I would need to do a bit of planning first. My friend Emily also wanted to go, so we decided to go together and after much ‘debating’, we agreed on Madagascar, Vietnam, Cambodia and Thailand, and I would have a week in Hong Kong after Madagascar. Next I needed to be able to pay for all this, so I signed up for a few tempting temping agencies. The jobs I had were interesting, including secretary at a building site, where I had to wear size 12 boots, and a hard hat and fluorescent jacket that were surely designed for a giant every time I walked across the site. I also spent a couple of weeks gently whiling away the hours by taking staples out of pieces of paper. No really… there’s even a verb ‘to destaple’. And it wasn’t so gentle either – we had strict quotas (done by height of paper stacks, not volume of staples). After a month of temping, I found myself a job in an office at the University of the West of England, and spent the time until Christmas doing the photocopying and planning where I wanted to go.

Finally it was time to leave, and typically I spent the day before my flight frantically packing clothes and buying last minute malaria tablets. Em had already gone to Madagascar to do a diving project and I was due to meet up with her there. I left the country not too sure whether Em was coming to meet me in the capital Antananarivo (Tana), or I was going to meet her in Toliara in the south. I was sure we’d find a way… I got the coach to Heathrow, and arrived in Tana after two plane journeys, and then found a taxi to take me to the hostel Em had recommended just outside of the city. When I got into the taxi I was a little surprised to see the road through a great big hole in the floor, but was quickly distracted as we bounced over and around the huge potholes in the road, some of which were cunningly hidden by puddles caused by what I would later discover were Tana’s almost daily thunderstorms. I decided to stay where I was until I heard from Em, I thought she’d probably come up to meet me after her project finished, and in the meantime I could explore Tana.

After a week in Tana, I heard from Em, who had been left stranded by a cyclone in the south, but had just arrived in Toliara and why wasn’t I there yet? Ah, so we were meeting in the south after all… I got a plane down the next day, not fancying the 24 hour taxi-brousse after Em’s story of her trip down, and I was conscious that we’d already used a week of our three week’s stay. When I got to Toliara, I said hello to Em just as she was saying goodbye to her new friends, and we got on the taxi-brousse the next day with Ali, an American doctor from Em’s diving project.

The taxi-brousse turned out to be an old minibus with all the seats taken out and replaced with benches so the maximum number of people could be squeezed in, and I don’t think I’ve ever been so grateful for being small! All the luggage was strapped to the roof, and luckily the very unhappy live goat we saw being loaded didn’t end up on ours…

After 6 hours of the same tape of Malagasy pop being played over and over again, we were glad to arrive in Ranohira. When we got off the bus, we asked around for a hostel and were soon showed to Chez Alice – a collection of bungalows looking out on the National Park of Isalo. Chez Alice was run by a young Malagasy woman, and was the only place we stayed in Madagascar which wasn’t run by a European. Alice said she could organise trekking trips into Isalo and the next day I found myself heading off with a small bag on my back. Thankfully our sleeping bags etc were taken by car to the camp site, along with Em, who wasn’t feeling well, so all we really had to carry was water and suncream. Isalo is unlike anything I’ve ever seen before, all canyons and cliffs and arid landscapes.

We walked through a ravine with our guide, Albert, who had an amazing knowledge of all of the plants and animals found in the park, as well as stories about how different sights got their names. Albert showed us a nest of greater-hedgehog tenrecs, which looked like small stripy hedgehogs, and lizards, chameleons and geckos. We soon realised, however, that we would have to leave the shade of the ravine and climb up to the top of one of the hills. It was hard going and we were definitely ready for a break when we reached the top. I was just thinking how heavy my bag was when Albert said it was time for lunch and pulled out some cans of food and two huge watermelons from his own backpack! We asked Albert if he liked his job and he said he loved it because he liked walking and was interested in all the animals, especially the birds of Madagascar, whose names he had learnt from a book he carried in his backpack. When we finished the day’s hike, we were greeted by Em and the porters at a natural swimming pool fed by a waterfall, and had a much needed swim. We camped for the night and were woken up by a scream from Ali in the morning as she found the giant lizard that had decided to share her mosquito net for the night. We all hiked back through the park to Chez Alice, and stayed there a few more days.

Walking through the village we would be followed by hordes of giggling children calling ‘salama vazaha!’ ‘Salut vazaha’, and they invariably either burst out laughing or ran away when we replied ‘salama’. ‘Vazaha’ is the word for ‘white stranger’, and we were told the reason they ran away was that the vazaha is s bit like the big bad wolf in Malagasy children’s stories, and might at any moment come to carry off a naughty child, or, bizarrely, take their livers. So presumably the ones running away were the ones with guilty consciences…

Em and I realised we would have to leave Chez Alice if we wanted to see much more of Madagascar, as we were running out of time before Em’s flight back home. Alice told us we could hire a car with a driver to take us to Andasibe Mantadia, a National Park near Antananarivo, and one of the only homes of the indri-indri lemur. Albert said he’d read about the animals in Andasibe but had never been, so we offered him a seat in the car. Before we all set off on the 750km journey, Ernest, the driver, showed us the car as we had been warned to make sure it was working before we agreed to hire it. Unfortunately we don’t know all that much about cars… ‘Four tyres?’ – check, ‘windscreen wipers?’ – check, ‘umm, headlights?’ – check, ‘ooh, wait, spare tyre, that’s a good one’ – check, ‘and, umm, does the engine turn on?’ – all seemed okay so in we hopped! After a few hours, the engine coughed and died – no problem, Ernest got out and opened the bonnet. Some minutes later, we asked Albert what he was doing – ‘oh, he’s fixing it, it will be fine soon’, a quick look round the front of the car showed us Ernest siphoning petrol with his mouth! This proved to be a miracle cure for the car anyway, and we were soon back on our way.

A few hours and several breakdowns later, it was the middle of the night and we were waiting in the unknown depths of Malagasy countryside for Ernest to change the tyre after one had blown out while we were driving over a bridge. Ernest was having problems, but didn’t look too concerned, so we asked Albert what would happen if he couldn’t fix it, ‘oh, it will be fine’, came his response, ‘there will be a village somewhere near here, and they’ll give us food and let us sleep in their bungalows’. The people we met in Madagascar were the friendliest of everyone we met during our trip, and I’m sure that had we been stuck, they would have willingly offered us a place to stay, no matter what their own situation. The tyre was soon fixed however, and we were back on our way to Andasibe. We reached the national park in three days, stopping along the way for food, rest, and of course, more roadside car maintenance. Along the way we passed a field with a man following a wooden plough pulled by a single zebu, a bit like a cow. I pointed this out to Em, thinking how old-fashioned it seemed, and Albert noticed too, ‘look’ he said, pointing, ‘that man must be rich, he can afford a zebu to pull his plough for him’. All of the other workers were ploughing by hand, and the women had blue and yellow paste on their faces to keep the sun off as suncream was so rare.

At Andasibe we spent two days hiking in the park, and were amazed at the diversity of plants and animals, most of which were completely different to what we’d seen in Isalo. Where Isalo was dry and rocky, Andasibe was green and lush, teeming with life. We were walking on the second day when we heard a weird wailing noise, sounding a bit like a mix of a police siren and a clarinet. We asked Albert what it was and he told us it was the call of the indri indri lemur, and was so loud it could be heard over a kilometre away. We were lucky to see a group of indris jumping from tree to tree; unfortunately they are now highly endangered due to devastating deforestation.

After a couple of days, Ernest and Albert drove back to Isalo, Ali left on the taxi-brousse for Tana, and Em and I started to think about making our own way back. Sat eating breakfast, we were invited to sit with two South-Africans, a woman called Nicki and a man Andre. They turned out to be missionaries who had come to Andasibe for a holiday but were about to drive back to Tana in their 4x4. They offered us a lift which we gratefully accepted – a 4x4 was luxury compared to the taxi-brousse! We all headed off the next morning and Nicki and Andre told us about their work in Tana, and very kindly took us to places along the way that we would never have heard about otherwise. We fed lemurs at a lemur sanctuary, a giant parsons chameleon climbed on my head in a mini zoo, and the day after we got back to Tana, Nicky gave us a tour in the 4x4 and took us to the best market for hand-crafted woodwork.

I walked with Em the next afternoon to send off some postcards, and along the way, one of Tana’s inevitable deluges of rain caught us and we were almost instantly soaked to the skin. We carried on walking, enjoying the storm, and an old Malagasy man came towards us; ‘why are you walking?’ he called. A little confused, we replied ‘we want to get to the post office’, ‘but you’re vazahas!’ he said ‘you could get a taxi!’ We told him we liked walking and he looked very unconvinced, ‘but it’s raining!’ he said, ‘we like the rain’ we replied. At this he burst out laughing, and after shaking both our hands, he walked away, chuckling to himself about the crazy vazahas who walked in the rain even though they could afford a taxi. This was the same sort of reaction as I got on telling people I didn’t eat meat. It seemed incredible to them that someone who could afford to eat meat would choose not to, and until then I don’t think I’d ever really realised what a luxury it was to be able to choose.

Then it was Em’s flight home, and I was left with one more day before catching my flight to Hong Kong. Em was home for two weeks, so I would have one week in Hong Kong, and then a week in Vietnam to make my way from Ho Chi Minh to Hanoi, where we were due to meet up again.

In Hong Kong I spent a relaxed week seeing the sights (or being an über-tourist, as Em said), including the world’s largest Buddha on Lantau (surrounded by coke machines), and trips between the islands on the star ferry. A week later I was in Ho Chi Minh City trying to find out about trains to Hanoi. I stayed in a dorm room for two nights with three other people, and then stocked up on food for my forty-hour journey to the north of Vietnam. On the train I found myself in a compartment with an old Vietnamese lady, there were four bunks, and we were later joined by two businessmen. The Vietnamese lady was friendly, though we didn’t speak the same language. She showed me some photos of her trip to Ho Chi Minh, and it looked as though she had been to visit a new born grandchild. Later I heard voices speaking English in the next compartment, and I came up with the lame excuse of having lost my Lonely Planet book and went to knock on the door. They were two Australians called Brooke and Kelly, and a Norwegian called Anders. We discovered we were all going to Hanoi, so when we arrived we got rooms together, sharing to cut down on cost. We spent almost a week in Hanoi, with its thousands of motos and cyclos which made crossing any road such a mission. Em arrived in Hanoi a few days after us, and I went to pick her up from the airport. Then Brooke and Kelly left to go home, and still with Anders, Em and I went on a three day boat trip round Ha long bay.

The bay consists of almost 2000 small islands clustered together, some hollow with gigantic caves inside. The name ‘Ha long’ means ‘descending dragon’, and the islands are said to have been created by the thrashing tail of a dragon chased down from the mountains of Vietnam. One time we got into a smaller rowing boat and were taken through a gap in the rock just high enough for us to scrape under, and into a completely enclosed space of water with high cliffs encircling us. It looked like we were inside a volcano, and everything was so silent away from the engine of the boat that it felt as though we’d drifted into a picture that no one else had ever seen. Of course, it had been seen by most people who’d been on that tour, but just for that moment it was so personal that I could almost believe we were the first people ever to disturb the calm of the waters. The spell was quickly broken however, when ‘Mr Bill’, the American who had been greatly embarrassing his fellow countrymen throughout the trip, refused to pay the man rowing the boat 5,000 dong, about 15p, saying he hadn’t been told about this before he got in the boat. No one likes to feel they’ve been ripped off, but when Mr Bill argued so vehemently about a sum of money which quite clearly meant nothing to him and something to the guide, it seemed almost as though he was laughing at our guide and thought it was all a game. He trumped this easily the next day however; by saying to our new guides whose names he couldn’t pronounce ‘no no, I’ll never remember that. I’m gonna call you ‘Yo’ (pointing), and I’m gonna call you ‘Bo’. Ok?’ Our faith was quickly restored by the good manners and friendliness of everyone else on the boat however.

After Ha Long, we returned to Hanoi for a night, and then left Anders and got on the tourist coach down the coast to Hué. We stayed on this route for two weeks, stopping off at cities along the way for a few days, including our first trips on the back of motos in Hué, and getting some clothes made at a tailor’s in Hoi An. We quickly got tired of this cattle-bus approach to seeing the country however, and when in Nha Trang, Em was offered first a moto back to our hostel, then a tour of the city, then a tour of the central highlands, we jumped at the chance to ‘get off the beaten track’. Em’s newfound friend invited us to go for a drink and talk about where we wanted to go, and when we met him later, he introduced himself as Mr Trong, with his friend Mr Hong, who also drove a bike. They had a book bursting with good reviews from others who had gone with them, so we arranged to meet them in the morning for a four-day motorbike tour. We were a bit worried about our bags, as most of the motos we’d seen didn’t look like they couldn’t take much weight. ‘No no’, grinned Trong, ‘we have big bikes, very big engines’.

The bikes, as we were proudly showed the next day, were 110cc. Not having any idea about motorbikes, we were suitably impressed, until they started to struggle a bit going up hills when loaded down with two people plus luggage on each one… They did the job anyway, and we had a fantastic trip, Trong and Hong proved to be great guides, with truly impressive knowledge about the countryside and its inhabitants. They showed us paddy fields, coffee plantations, and even found us a place where we could ride on an elephant. We saw women harvesting salt in panniers so heavy we could barely hold them up, and villages where minority tribes still live in a weird state of limbo between traditional and modern life; they live in wooden huts, but with concrete foundations, and weave blankets by hand but can only sell them to tourists. When we stopped by a paddy field one day, we noticed work in the field had stopped as well, with a crowd of people staring and waving. ‘They are very excited to see you’ said Trong, ‘they say you very tall’. I’m sure this admiration must have been directed mainly at Em, but I savoured the moment nonetheless.

Trong left us in Da Lat, a very pretty town in central Vietnam, high enough to be cool without being cold, and apparently the most popular honeymoon spot for Vietnamese couples. We were sad to say goodbye to Trong, although somewhat relieved to see the backs of the motorbikes and decided we would allow ourselves a few days’ recovery time before we sat on one again! From Da Lat, we got a bus down to Ho Chi Minh and booked ourselves onto a boat trip up the Mekong Delta to get to Cambodia. The boat trip took about 5 days, and we stopped off on the way at floating markets, drank some fairly potent rice wine, and found a baby bear in a crocodile farm.

On tumbling off the bus in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, we had a brilliant surprise when we were met by Em’s primary-school friend, Kit, who had moved there after his GCSEs and now runs a very successful bar. Kit took us to the bar, where we sat in the air-conditioned VIP room and had a very welcome free meal and drinks. A few days later we left Kit and headed to the coast to Sihanoukville. We stayed in a bungalow on stilts close to the beach, with a balcony that looked out on some of the most beautiful sunsets I’ve ever seen. After a few days however, Em moved up the road as she’d caught some kind of bug or virus and was feeling the need for space and air-conditioning. The bungalow was part of a small group owned by a friendly French family, and I spent the next week visiting Em and going round the market, but mainly lying on the beach!

When Em felt a bit better, we headed back up north to Siem Reap, with a couple of days and a final farewell to Kit in Phnom Penh along the way. This stop in Phnom Penh wasn’t entirely planned, but was the only time I was ill, with a 24 hour bout of food poisoning that certainly didn’t encourage me to sit on a cramped bus all day. All the same, we soon found ourselves in Siem Reap exploring the phenomenal temples of Angkor.

We started off at Angkor Wat itself. First built dedicated to Vishnu in the 12th century, it has seen many changes reflecting the changing rule and religion of Cambodia and now stands as a shrine for the Buddhist religion. One of the first western visitors, in 1586, said it "is of such extraordinary construction that it is not possible to describe it with a pen, particularly since it is like no other building in the world. It has towers and decoration and all the refinements which the human genius can conceive of". All around the inner walls are bas-reliefs depicting stories mainly from the Hindu faith; including a huge scene showing the Churning of the Sea of Milk - how the Devas got their immortality. We spent the day at Angkor Wat, and returned more than once later in the week, but I felt as though we could have spent a whole year there and still have had more to see.

The next day we saw Ta Prohm, the temple so taken over by nature that it seemed like something out of the Jungle Book. We also visited the Bayon, both of our favourite temple. From a distance it looked like a huge pile of rocks, but as we got closer, I started to notice the shapes in the rock, and realised that it was actually covered in enigmatic, slightly smiling faces looking out at everyone who approached. Walking round the Bayon, although there were others doing the same thing, I sometimes looked around and found myself alone with no one else in sight. Though Angkor Wat was clean and crisp, the Bayon felt dank, shadowy and cool, and in these moments it was easy to believe you could be the first traveller to stumble across these abandoned temples after centuries of neglect.

A week after we arrived, we reluctantly left Angkor to get the bus to Bangkok. Once over the border, we had our first taste of Songkran – Thai New Year, when a group of children ran over to us and threw a bucket of water at our whole group! When we arrived in Bangkok it was pandemonium, especially around the backpacker areas. The streets were jam packed with hordes of Thais and tourists throwing chalk and water over each other. Once we’d found a hostel and left our bags there, we joined in with enthusiasm, ending up completely lost in the alleyways between streets. This went on for a day or so, but then Em’s bug returned and she was advised by a doctor to check herself into a hospital for a few days. I spent these next days wandering around Bangkok markets, mainly covered from head to toe in a chalky paste, until of course it got washed off by the next bucket of water! Everyone joined in the fun, and I even saw a policeman being doused in water one time.

Once Em was out of hospital, we moved to a slightly less hectic area – the building we were in before shook to the beat of thousands of feet dancing in the road outside. This new place was by far the most upmarket we were in all trip – with room service and a swimming pool on the roof; but it still cost less than staying in the cheapest youth hostel over here. We were joined in Bangkok by Em’s friend Gemma, who was just starting her travelling, and for the next two weeks we visited temples, markets, the royal palace, and most importantly the MBK shopping centre! This place was amazing; I must have spent three whole days in there without visiting the same shop twice. All of the clothes were a fraction of the price in England, though I was convinced when I got back home that a lot got shipped over to the UK. As it looked like being the summer of boho, I stocked up on skirts and tops for 200baht each (about £3.50). Em was still unwell, feeling very weak, and unfortunately had to postpone her diving trip to Sulawesi in Indonesia.

All of the tuktuk and taxi drivers were enthusiastic to find out where we were from, and why we had come to Bangkok. When I said I was from England, the answer was invariably, ‘oh! England! Manchester United?’ ‘Err, no, actually’, ‘Liverpool? Leeds United?’ When I managed to get a word in edgeways, I’d say I was from Bristol. Blank looks. ‘You know, Bristol City? No? Um, Bristol Rovers..?’ ‘Premiership?’ Replies in the negative were met with looks of amazement and pity, and conversation quickly moved on to whether I had ever met David Beckham.

Finally, it was time to go home, and Em left a day before me on a straight-through flight to Heathrow. I spent my last day wandering round the markets and thinking what the experience had meant to me. I think maybe I grew up a little, and gained in confidence, and it’s definitely made living in a flat at university less of a shock to the system. Also, I saw a great diversity of cultures and ways of life, from the peace and serenity of Angkor and Buddhist monasteries in Vietnam, to the bustle of Bangkok and the busy screeching of animals living their own lives in the Madagascan rainforest. I would recommend a gap year to anyone. Whether you use the time for travel, work, or just to take a bit of time for yourself, I think it’s important to have a break between school and whatever comes next, to digest what has happened so far in your life, and ready yourself for the future.

[devist8me]

^^^Awesome read. Thanks for sharing.