i could really use some friends

avril · Post by **avril** » Thu Mar 27, 2014 6:39 pm

hello all!

i am a in depserate need of friends. im almost embarassed to say this, but i dont know how to make or keep friends. i like to think that i am a unique, original person. for whatever reason, i just cant seem to find friends...or even how to start.the "friends" that i do have acknowledge my existence only when they need something...until then, im nothing... i dread weekends because this means being holed up at home doing absolutely nothing... where do i start????????????

any advice would be greatly appreciated...

Post by **Betty Boop** » Fri Mar 28, 2014 2:49 am

Hi Avril, welcome to FG. :-6

Don't worry about the fact no one may answer you here too much at the moment. The forum is experiencing some major problems that affects peoples ability to see new threads and posts

Post by **LarsMac** » Fri Mar 28, 2014 2:57 pm

Start with learning to like yourself.

Spend weekends doing something you like to do. Go to the zoo, or to the museum, or just take yourself to a movie.

Relax. Don't worry so much about how many friends you have, or don't have.

Find a local charity organization that does something you like, and volunteer your free time.

You'll get comfortable with yourself, and it will show, and you'll meet people who like the same things you like.

Pretty soon, you'll be fine.

Oh, and welcome to FG

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 11:37 am

They only way to have a friend is to be a friend. That takes time and shared experiences.

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Tue May 06, 2014 8:25 pm

avril;1450977 wrote: ..... i dont know how to make or keep friends ...... i just cant seem to find friends...or even how to start....

I see.

avril;1450977 wrote: i dread weekends because this means being holed up at home doing absolutely nothing... .

Well. There's your biggest problem.

People don't just walk up to strangers and say, "Hi! I want to be your friend!" I know you've heard the expression "having something in common". So? What do you do besides "hole up" at home? If you do something else ... I mean REALLY do something else instead of just faking it .... then you will probably increase your chances of making friends based upon whatever it is you do.

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Tue May 06, 2014 8:28 pm

avril;1450977 wrote: hello all!

i am a in depserate need of friends.

That's interesting. Most of us are desperate for something - recognition for example. You know, like when we give advice or lend a hand but there is no reply of thanks or even dialog. Sort of like "advice greatly appreciated". Know what I mean?

Nemona · Post by **Nemona** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 5:57 am

Nobody wants to be used. If you need friends, respect them.

FourPart · Post by **FourPart** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 11:34 am

I was recently betrayed by 2, supposed 'friends', which nearly lost me my job.

Needless to say I don't consider them as friends any more.

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 11:52 am

FourPart;1476750 wrote: I was recently betrayed by 2, supposed 'friends', which nearly lost me my job.

Needless to say I don't consider them as friends any more.

In retrospect, don't you think it would have been wiser to consider them ex-friends the moment you realized their friendship “could feasibly cost your job ¦ rather than wait?

FourPart · Post by **FourPart** » Fri Mar 27, 2015 9:53 am

High Threshold;1476753 wrote: In retrospect, don't you think it would have been wiser to consider them ex-friends the moment you realized their friendship “could feasibly cost your job ¦ rather than wait?
Because it literally happened overnight.

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Fri Mar 27, 2015 9:57 am

FourPart;1476799 wrote: Because it literally happened overnight.
That doesn't sound very good.

Post by **LarsMac** » Fri Mar 27, 2015 10:08 am

All who smile at you are not your friends.

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Fri Mar 27, 2015 10:17 am

LarsMac;1476802 wrote: All who smile at you are not your friends.
Don't sugar-coat it. You might give the guy the impression there's hope.

FourPart · Post by **FourPart** » Fri Mar 27, 2015 7:25 pm

LarsMac;1476802 wrote: All who smile at you are not your friends.

Shouldn't that be "Not all who smile at you are your friends"?

Post by **LarsMac** » Fri Mar 27, 2015 9:06 pm

FourPart;1476829 wrote: Shouldn't that be "Not all who smile at you are your friends"?

While the general idea seems the same there are subtle differences in the meaning. But, basically, Same-same.

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Fri Mar 27, 2015 11:34 pm

"Some of your friends can smile at you all of the time and all of your friends can smile at you some of the time but not all of your friends can smile at you all of the time."

travelingjack · Post by **travelingjack** » Mon Jul 06, 2015 2:05 am

i can relate, ive hate a few relationships all gone pear shaped ,im always at a loss then as i have no one , other than my mother who is 84 dont hink she would be up to doing much at weekends , cant see her climbing a mountain going canoeing going for blast on the back of a motorbike tho she would see the funny side if i asked lol even long time since i did these things , id be happy in a deck chair sharing a drink with friend and a nice day these days , im getting old lol

Smaug · Post by **Smaug** » Mon Jul 06, 2015 2:37 am

travelingjack;1482124 wrote: i can relate, ive hate a few relationships all gone pear shaped ,im always at a loss then as i have no one , other than my mother who is 84 dont hink she would be up to doing much at weekends , cant see her climbing a mountain going canoeing going for blast on the back of a motorbike tho she would see the funny side if i asked lol even long time since i did these things , id be happy in a deck chair sharing a drink with friend and a nice day these days , im getting old lol

Age is something none of us can dodge, I'm afraid, though it does have 2 consolations; Experience and greater (usually) wisdom! Apart from that, I can't see any useful point to growing older, and advise everyone to have nothing to do with it!!:wah: