Is my manager flirting with me?

confused_intern · Post by **confused_intern** » Sun May 26, 2013 4:30 pm

Hi,

About 4 weeks ago I started my 4 months unpaid internship. My senior manager is a very nice, smart, interesting man. He is about in his mid to late 50s. He is also married. Him and his wife do not have any children. He likes to say that kids give him rash. Because I am an unpaid intern he takes me out for lunch at least twice a week. There are no other interns there. Is he just being very nice to me or is he in a very subtitle way flirting with me? First time when we went out for lunch, he asked me many questions about myself, and if I am single. I think he was just trying to learn about me as much as he could.

Another question I have, about what should I be talking to him? I want to make a good impression on him. I know they do not hire interns, I still hope they would be willing to make an exception for me.

Any tips are highly appreciated.

Almost forgot to mention: He said since we can't pay you, at least now and then can take you for lunch.

Snooz · Post by **Snooz** » Sun May 26, 2013 4:50 pm

Yes, he wants to have sex with you.

confused_intern · Post by **confused_intern** » Sun May 26, 2013 4:56 pm

What makes you say that? He did not make any sexual comments. I did not see him flirting with me either.

He said: Since we can't pay you, now and then will take you out for lunch

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sun May 26, 2013 5:00 pm

He's taking you out to lunch rather than his wife because he has a genuine Interest In your views on post modern feminism and he enjoys your company so much.

You say you want to make a good Impression on him ? Not pharting at the table or picking and flicking your nose during lunch will help.

Alternatively, you can gain Instant self respect by repeating the following.

' So you are married? Goodbye'

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Sun May 26, 2013 6:14 pm

Confused

How do you feel? Are you uncomfortable?

Do you work directly with this manager? Meaning do you report to him? Do you work side by side with him?

Patsy

confused_intern · Post by **confused_intern** » Sun May 26, 2013 6:25 pm

Hi Patsy,

No, he does not make me feel uncomfortable at all. Yes I directly work with him and I report to him. I am "his" intern.

I think I look to much into it. He is a nice man. He never made any inappropriate joke or anything. Once he said, that kids give him rash. I should've said, that hopefully, I don't give any rash. Thanks for your reply.

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Sun May 26, 2013 7:09 pm

Confused

Nothing wrong with being cautious - Maybe make other plans for lunch - limit the lunch offers. Conversation shouldn't be all about you - so you may want to change the topic.

Remember he is suppose to evaluate you.

I would never assume any sexual motive - stay professional.

I don't think your reading too much into the situation - you have to moderate.

If your uncomfortable - use your instincts.

Patsy

Scrat · Post by **Scrat** » Sun May 26, 2013 9:12 pm

Yes, he wants to have sex with you.

Exactly. Men always want to have sex with women. That's the way it has always been, that's the way it will always be. About every 3rd thought that goes through his mind is in some way related to sex, from sunrise to sunset, come the end of this earth. Get it?

Don't play stupid, let him know you are not stupid.

gmc · Post by **gmc** » Mon May 27, 2013 12:44 am

On the other hand it could just be nothing more than he is taking you out to lunch. Don't get this unpaid intern bit. Sounds like exploitation

Snooz · Post by **Snooz** » Mon May 27, 2013 4:28 am

gmc;1428177 wrote: On the other hand it could just be nothing more than he is taking you out to lunch. Don't get this unpaid intern bit. Sounds like exploitation

It might be college credits for time spent in the job... other than that, I can't imagine what benefit there might be, especially since s/he's been told they never hire interns. That coy and disingenuous "I still hope they would be willing to make an exception for me" kind of negates the concern that the boss is flirting.

Post by **jones jones** » Mon May 27, 2013 11:24 am

Honey, whether you're an unpaid intern or a gazillionaire, unless you both of the same sex (and then it might even be a problem), do yourself a favour ... do not, I repeat ... do not go out to lunch with a married man.

Unless of course you comfortable about being cited as a co-respondent in a divorce case.

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Mon May 27, 2013 3:34 pm

Does your place of employment have a lunch area? Eat there.

Conversations should be about your job.

You're an unpaid intern, yes; but you can still be professional, courteous, and assertive. You are beginning a career, not an illicit romance. Right?

gmc · Post by **gmc** » Tue May 28, 2013 1:07 am

No doubt you want references from this guy, goes like a bunny in heat is not a good one to get.

CaptonJack · Post by **CaptonJack** » Mon Jul 22, 2013 4:50 am

You have to be happy. You got an amazing manger. LOL

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Mon Jul 22, 2013 8:58 am

You look like Ahso! Are you related?

Post by **jones jones** » Mon Jul 22, 2013 10:27 am

CaptonJack;1432089 wrote: You have to be happy. You got an amazing manger. LOL

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr:-5

A manger is a trough the church would have earthlings believe a baby lay in 2000 odd years ago!

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon Jul 22, 2013 10:35 am

AnneBoleyn;1432119 wrote: You look like Ahso! Are you related?

:yh_youkid:yh_youkid:yh_youkid:yh_youkid

Vaishali · Post by **Vaishali** » Thu Aug 08, 2013 5:34 am

Well, only you can answer that. I think it's too soon to say anything for sure. If his behavior does not make you feel uncomfortable, I don't think he is flirting with you. But you should take care. You can also invite others when he takes you out for lunch or something like that. Hope you understand what I am trying to say.

stacyjmes1 · Post by **stacyjmes1** » Sun Aug 25, 2013 11:48 pm

I think he is not flirting with you. There is no any sign of flirting I have seen in your discussion with your manager.

RapunzelBlacky · Post by **RapunzelBlacky** » Sun Sep 15, 2013 11:58 pm

So what’s the big deal about it? You should meet my boss. ;D

sadum · Post by **sadum** » Wed Apr 30, 2014 2:25 pm

confused_intern;1428153 wrote: Hi,

About 4 weeks ago I started my 4 months unpaid internship. My senior manager is a very nice, smart, interesting man. He is about in his mid to late 50s. He is also married. Him and his wife do not have any children. He likes to say that kids give him rash. Because I am an unpaid intern he takes me out for lunch at least twice a week. There are no other interns there. Is he just being very nice to me or is he in a very subtitle way flirting with me? First time when we went out for lunch, he asked me many questions about myself, and if I am single. I think he was just trying to learn about me as much as he could.

Another question I have, about what should I be talking to him? I want to make a good impression on him. I know they do not hire interns, I still hope they would be willing to make an exception for me.

Any tips are highly appreciated.

Almost forgot to mention: He said since we can't pay you, at least now and then can take you for lunch.

I think you are the one who have a crush on him because he did not tell you that he loves you, what makes you think that he is flirting? I think taking you to lunch is not enough but wait and give it sometime.

mahbub · Post by **mahbub** » Sun Jun 01, 2014 7:45 am

Sometimes it will be exhausting to inform what is applicable and what is not - particularly if the caper is within the early stages, once your boss could also be testing you for a reaction. If you are feeling gently uncomfortable, however your boss hasn't created any public gestures, you'll forever strive deflecting their attention.