You Men !!!!

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri May 16, 2014 8:59 am

Funny Isn't It ?

You have absolutely no Interest In soft furnishing and moan like Billy at being dragged along to the shops, then suddenly, once Inside, you develop an opinion.

Just saying.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri May 16, 2014 9:02 am

You tell me to act my age Instead of my shoe size and then you go out and buy a large remote controlled model areoplane Insisting because It states on the box ' for ages 12 years and over', you are within your rights.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri May 16, 2014 9:07 am

You tell me to get the meat In Sainsbury although It's more expensive to save a trip to another store and then you drive 10 miles to save 2 pence on a litre of fuel.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri May 16, 2014 9:12 am

You Insist on total silence while you have your afternoon nap and then keep the entire house awake all night while you snore like a Sow In labour.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri May 16, 2014 9:15 am

You won't watch a spectacular feat of horsemanship during a horse race but then you expect me to get excited at a video of a man landing a fish.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri May 16, 2014 9:21 am

You complain when I leave my make up on the coffee table but then leave your tools on the Dining Table because apparently, that's an Important job.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri May 16, 2014 10:04 am

You complain when two men kiss In the soaps before the 9 pm watershed but suddenly It's alright when the two Lesbians kiss.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri May 16, 2014 10:07 am

You bitterly complain that we're running late because all the lights are red and then you cause gridlock by letting a female drive out of a junction.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri May 16, 2014 10:08 am

You state you are not hungry when I offer to make a snack but then want some of mine.

Snowfire · Post by **Snowfire** » Fri May 16, 2014 10:30 am

Don't you women go on !

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Fri May 16, 2014 10:40 am

Snowfire;1454265 wrote: Don't you women go on !

Hard to get a bloody word in ennit ?

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri May 16, 2014 10:53 am

Bruv;1454266 wrote: Hard to get a bloody word in ennit ? You complain women talk too much and when we want to talk to you, you fall asleep.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Fri May 16, 2014 10:55 am

Oscar Mate;1454264 wrote: You state you are not hungry when I offer to make a snack but then want some of mine.

Yep, they do that all the time.

I had men at work moan all day that I should've put more clothes on (sleeveless shirt, nothing naked and yes I shaved my pits). But then they have a giggle at the nuddie ladies calendar in the men's loos.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Fri May 16, 2014 10:56 am

Oscar Mate;1454272 wrote: You complain women talk too much and when we want to talk to you, you fall asleep.

Why do you think we do that?

Because we have heard it all before........probably a few minutes ago

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri May 16, 2014 11:03 am

Chloe_88;1454273 wrote: Yep, they do that all the time.

I had men at work moan all day that I should've put more clothes on (sleeveless shirt, nothing naked and yes I shaved my pits). But then they have a giggle at the nuddie ladies calendar in the men's loos.
He complains when I let the cat sit on the coffee table and then takes the dog to bed and let's her plonk her arsse on my pillow.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Fri May 16, 2014 11:03 am

I must admit, i'd be the one falling asleep! :wah:

Post by **Chloe_88** » Fri May 16, 2014 11:04 am

Oscar Mate;1454277 wrote: He complains when I let the cat sit on the coffee table and then takes the dog to bed and let's her plonk her arsse on my pillow.

pffff haha!

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri May 16, 2014 11:04 am

Bruv;1454274 wrote: Why do you think we do that?

Because we have heard it all before........probably a few minutes ago Then you say ' I don't remember you telling me that'

Snowfire · Post by **Snowfire** » Fri May 16, 2014 11:13 am

The Japanese have developed a camera with a shutter so fast, it can actually capture a photo of a woman with her mouth shut

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri May 16, 2014 11:17 am

Snowfire;1454282 wrote: The Japanese have developed a camera with a shutter so fast, it can actually capture a photo of a woman with her mouth shut And also capture the precise nano second a good Idea enters a man's head.

You keep a pile of crap In the storage room for 10 years until the second we go to throw It away and suddenly ' I needed that'

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Fri May 16, 2014 11:23 am

Oscar Mate;1454277 wrote: He complains when I let the cat sit on the coffee table and then takes the dog to bed and let's her plonk her arsse on my pillow.

I like your bloke.......reckon he is trying to tell you something?

Snowfire · Post by **Snowfire** » Fri May 16, 2014 11:24 am

Oscar Mate;1454283 wrote: And also capture the precise nano second a good Idea enters a man's head.

You keep a pile of crap In the storage room for 10 years until the second we go to throw It away and suddenly ' I needed that'

How dare you call my collection of pen tops, crap

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Fri May 16, 2014 11:26 am

Oscar Mate;1454283 wrote: You keep a pile of crap In the storage room for 10 years until the second we go to throw It away and suddenly ' I needed that'

Women know the price of everything and the value of nothing..............................you just can't get that stuff these days.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri May 16, 2014 11:49 am

Bruv;1454289 wrote: Women know the price of everything and the value of nothing..............................you just can't get that stuff these days. You stock up on more crap at car boot sales Insisting ' That will come In handy one day'.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri May 16, 2014 12:01 pm

As you sit behind a newspaper on the sofa while we're trying to move a heavy Item of furnature, you say, ' you mind your back luv'.... When we say how that hurt our back, you say ' well I did tell you'.

Snowfire · Post by **Snowfire** » Fri May 16, 2014 12:09 pm

Why do you women have to constantly "put things away" ?

I can never find things, they just disappear and where they've been "put", is just a random drawer

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri May 16, 2014 12:25 pm

Snowfire;1454302 wrote: Why do you women have to constantly "put things away" ?

I can never find things, they just disappear and where they've been "put", is just a random drawer
Oh right....like you men who put the ketchup In the fridge and the tea bags god only knows until you hunt them down but then we decided to colour co=ordinate your screwdrivers and you have a hissy fit.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri May 16, 2014 12:43 pm

You start looking at your watch after 5 minutes In a dress shop and then we're expected to be Interested after 3 hours In a car parts store.

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Fri May 16, 2014 12:49 pm

Chloe_88;1454273 wrote: Yep, they do that all the time.

I had men at work moan all day that I should've put more clothes on (sleeveless shirt, nothing naked and yes I shaved my pits). But then they have a giggle at the nuddie ladies calendar in the men's loos.

Chloe why does your workplace allow pornography? ....Don't you have health and safety? and why do you allow the men to comment on your attire ? that is sexual harrassment.

Snowfire · Post by **Snowfire** » Fri May 16, 2014 12:58 pm

Oscar Mate;1454315 wrote: You start looking at your watch after 5 minutes In a dress shop and then we're expected to be Interested after 3 hours In a car parts store.

Why do you drag us around 20 women's clothes shops then go back to the first one we visited to buy the first thing YOU BLOODY LOOKED AT ??

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Fri May 16, 2014 1:02 pm

Snowfire;1454323 wrote: Why do you drag us around 20 women's clothes shops then go back to the first one we visited to buy the first thing YOU BLOODY LOOKED AT ??

It's a gift to all men . It's so you can linger in the lingerie department and imagine what would look sexy on the shop girl

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri May 16, 2014 1:04 pm

Snowfire;1454323 wrote: Why do you drag us around 20 women's clothes shops then go back to the first one we visited to buy the first thing YOU BLOODY LOOKED AT ??

For the same reason that you can tell the same joke 50 times yet when we ask you to do a job round the house for the 2nd time, apparently It constitutes ' nagging '.

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Fri May 16, 2014 1:15 pm

and why is it when a woman has an idea it's a bad one ........then 6 months later the same idea coming out of the man is the greatest idea EVER!!!!

And it was all his own?

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri May 16, 2014 1:24 pm

fuzzywuzzy;1454333 wrote: and why is it when a woman has an idea it's a bad one ........then 6 months later the same idea coming out of the man is the greatest idea EVER!!!!

And it was all his own? Yep haha

Or you suggest something and get a withering look. His best mate suggests It and It's brilliant.

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Fri May 16, 2014 1:39 pm

Oscar Mate;1454338 wrote: Yep haha

Or you suggest something and get a withering look. His best mate suggests It and It's brilliant.

That has happened to me more times than I like to think about . One day the other half was putting up a carport and I suggested a way of angling it so as to put the clips on .turns to me and says NAH!!! won't work ..... I kid you not!!! not even three minutes later a neighbour comes over says exactly the same thing and they fix it immediately.

My response? I threw the tape measure on the bench said "**** ya" and walked off. Sensing my anger he calls after me "can you get me a cuppa while you're there?" . Neighbour got to hear a whole dictionary of expletives that day mixed in with how to pour boiling water over someones head .

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri May 16, 2014 1:45 pm

fuzzywuzzy;1454343 wrote: That has happened to me more times than I like to think about . One day the other half was putting up a carport and I suggested a way of angling it so as to put the clips on .turns to me and says NAH!!! won't work ..... I kid you not!!! not even three minutes later a neighbour comes over says exactly the same thing and they fix it immediately.

My response? I threw the tape measure on the bench said "**** ya" and walked off. Sensing my anger he calls after me "can you get me a cuppa while you're there?" . Neighbour got to hear a whole dictionary of expletives that day mixed in with how to pour boiling water over someones head .

Yep and while they're out there doing bloke stuff, your only Input can be supplying cups of tea.

If you offer advice, then you're not being helpful. Yet he will give his advice while you're cooking and you're meant to be grateful for his Infinate wisdom.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri May 16, 2014 1:59 pm

You take the dog out and return 5 minutes later because ' It's spitting'... we take the dog out and return 2 hours later drenched.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Fri May 16, 2014 2:28 pm

Nice to see you girlies united on something for once.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri May 16, 2014 2:51 pm

Bruv;1454361 wrote: Nice to see you girlies united on something for once. Men point something out and you think you're being helpful. We do It and It translates to ' Interfering'.

Catch my drift ?

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri May 16, 2014 2:54 pm

You critisize another man and your being constructive. Woman critisize another woman and we're a b.itch.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Fri May 16, 2014 2:56 pm

Oscar Mate;1454368 wrote: Catch my drift ?

Not often to be honest.....but I am a man.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri May 16, 2014 3:01 pm

You complain when we want to watch a film for the 2nd time but then you'll sit through re-runs for the 20th time because ' It's a classic'

Snowfire · Post by **Snowfire** » Fri May 16, 2014 3:26 pm

Oscar Mate;1454372 wrote: You complain when we want to watch a film for the 2nd time but then you'll sit through re-runs for the 20th time because ' It's a classic'

Like I said. You don't arf go on

Snowfire · Post by **Snowfire** » Fri May 16, 2014 3:34 pm

I mean, look at our respective post counts.

Says it all dinnit !

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri May 16, 2014 3:34 pm

Snowfire;1454376 wrote: Like I said. You don't arf go on When men are talking non stop they say ' you're not listening are you' ? When we talk you say ' you don't arf go on'

Nighty nighty

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Fri May 16, 2014 3:45 pm

Oscar Mate;1454381 wrote:

Nighty nighty

Sssssigh.......thank heavens

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Fri May 16, 2014 4:20 pm

Bruv;1454382 wrote: Sssssigh.......thank heavens

Don't get too excited I've got all day .

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sat May 17, 2014 5:22 am

fuzzywuzzy;1454384 wrote: Don't get too excited I've got all day .

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sun May 18, 2014 5:57 am

You watch us clean the house every day but when you do It, you remind us on the hour every hour.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sun May 18, 2014 6:12 am

When someone praises you out walking the dog, she's your baby. When she's just thrown up on the rug, she's my dog.