You Men !!!!

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sun May 18, 2014 6:13 am

According to you, we jointly own everything... until It comes to your car... then It's MY car.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sun May 18, 2014 8:19 am

When filling the car, you time It to precision so It doesn't go one penny over £20 and then spend £2.90 on Crisps and sweets while paying.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon May 19, 2014 7:25 am

You nag me Incessantly to get a move on getting ready to go out because we're running late and just as we are going out the door, you need to take a dump.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon May 19, 2014 7:27 am

You state you think my skirt Is too short and then almost wrap us round a lamp post looking at a woman In a short skirt.

Snowfire · Post by **Snowfire** » Mon May 19, 2014 9:12 am

Oscar Sellotape;1454651 wrote: You state you think my skirt Is too short and then almost wrap us round a lamp post looking at a woman In a short skirt.

Do you think they are the same ?

Snowfire · Post by **Snowfire** » Mon May 19, 2014 9:13 am

Oscar Sellotape;1454650 wrote: You nag me Incessantly to get a move on getting ready to go out because we're running late and just as we are going out the door, you need to take a dump.

Thats because it took the time between the last time we had a dump for you to get ready.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon May 19, 2014 9:16 am

Snowfire;1454658 wrote: Do you think they are the same ? Shuddup :wah:

You don't bat an eyelid at us cooking a 3 course meal from scratch but according to you, turning the grill on for toasted cheese, constitutes ' cooking',

Snowfire · Post by **Snowfire** » Mon May 19, 2014 9:20 am

Oscar Sellotape;1454660 wrote: ....... turning the grill on for toasted cheese, constitutes ' cooking',

And does putting washing in a box and pressing a button constitute washing ?

Get down to the river woman and find yourself a large stone to bash Peters shreddies on

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon May 19, 2014 9:38 am

Snowfire;1454662 wrote: And does putting washing in a box and pressing a button constitute washing ?

Get down to the river woman and find yourself a large stone to bash Peters shreddies on Yes It does.

You have to buy every latest gadget on the market because It's ' Interesting' but have no concept of why we buy the latest mascara.

You ask us If we really need all the crap In the kitchen cupboards while you cram even more crap that you'll never use Into your shed.

When you and your pals talk about someone, you're having a discussion but apparently when we do the same, we are being b.itchy.

You evesdrop on the neighbours arguing and you're being a concerned neighbour. We do It and we're being ' nosy'.

You wear a pair of pants for 10 years because you're being ' thrifty' but when we save carrier bags, we're being obsessive.

Post by **LarsMac** » Mon May 19, 2014 9:40 am

Snowfire;1454662 wrote: And does putting washing in a box and pressing a button constitute washing ?

Get down to the river woman and find yourself a large stone to bash Peters shreddies on

Some years back, my brother and I were wandering through a Sears store on our way to the Hardware department to get some tools.

As we passed the Appliance department, a young, eager salesman stepped into our path.

"Can I interest you gentlemen in a Washer and dryer, today."

Obviously, he had no clue who he was dealing with, calling us "gentlemen" but we stopped to hear his spiel.

When he was finished, Bob says, So why in the world would I want one of those things?"

"why, to wash your clothes." he replied.

Bob says, "Hell, that's what the wife is for."

Slightly bemused, the salesman says, "Well, of course. She can use the washer and dryer."

Bob, says, "Oh no, she can just use the crick out back o' the house." And off we go to hardware.

The guy was still standing there staring at us when we passed him on the way to check out.

We love stereotypes.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Mon May 19, 2014 9:44 am

LarsMac;1454665 wrote: We love stereotypes.

I hear you can get quadraphonic now.

(First pun intended ......second one slipped by me unseen or heard)

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon May 19, 2014 9:50 am

You have no Idea where the kitchen scissors are kept but a pal calls wanting to borrow some 12 Inch screws and you can go straight to them.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon May 19, 2014 10:47 am

When we have crippling menstrual pain you expect the house to run as normal. When you get the slightest sniffle, you take to your bed for a week wanting tea and sympathy.

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Mon May 19, 2014 11:03 am

So we're labelled chauvinist pigs if we bring up the fact that women can't put down the phone and they drive as though they have no idea what the rear-view mirror is for - but this thread is OK? :p

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon May 19, 2014 11:33 am

High Threshold;1454673 wrote: So we're labelled chauvinist pigs if we bring up the fact that women can't put down the phone and they drive as though they have no idea what the rear-view mirror is for - but this thread is OK? :p

:wah::wah::wah:

Seeing a poor example of driving, you say ' bet It's a woman' until you get closer and seeing It's a bloke, you say ' must be a learner'.

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Mon May 19, 2014 11:36 am

Oscar Sellotape;1454676 wrote:

..... until you get closer and seeing It's a bloke, you say ' must be a learner'.

No. "A dyke".

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Mon May 19, 2014 11:39 am

12 inch screws ?............leave her alone poor girlie

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Mon May 19, 2014 11:41 am

Oh my!

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Tue May 20, 2014 9:41 pm

When we eye you suspiciously because you arrive home with a bouquet of flowers, you say ' FFS, can't I give my wife flowers for no reason?'.... Then 4 hours later we find what you have broken.

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Tue May 20, 2014 9:50 pm

High Threshold;1454673 wrote: So we're labelled chauvinist pigs if we bring up the fact that women can't put down the phone and they drive as though they have no idea what the rear-view mirror is for - but this thread is OK? :p

Semi trailers don't have a rear vision mirror. Only side ones.

But you'd know that if you drove one like me

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Tue May 20, 2014 9:59 pm

Oscar Sellotape;1454931 wrote: When we eye you suspiciously because you arrive home with a bouquet of flowers, you say ' FFS, can't I give my wife flowers for no reason?'.... Then 4 hours later we find what you have broken.

I am the exception to that rule. I sometimes send my wife a "You are the best" card for no other reason than I was thinking about her.

fuzzywuzzy;1454932 wrote: Semi trailers don't have a rear vision mirror. Only side ones.

I know that, but I didn't think you did.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Tue May 20, 2014 10:07 pm

High Threshold;1454933 wrote: I am the exception to that rule. I sometimes send my wife a "You are the best" card for no other reason than I was thinking about her.

I know that, but I didn't think you did.

Nice to hear It.... actually, to be honest, my husband Is slightly over generous on the gifts and cards side. He does give me a lot of unexpected gifts and soppy cards. Flowers too at least once a week but today he was just being a bit sheepish.

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Tue May 20, 2014 11:23 pm

High Threshold;1454933 wrote:

I know that, but I didn't think you did.

Never under estimate your enemy

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Wed May 21, 2014 6:08 am

Oscar Sellotape;1454934 wrote: Nice to hear It.... actually, to be honest, my husband Is slightly over generous on the gifts and cards side. He does give me a lot of unexpected gifts and soppy cards. Flowers too at least once a week but today he was just being a bit sheepish.

I'm much more spontaneous than that. My wife NEVER expects it when I spring a little surprise for her.

fuzzywuzzy;1454936 wrote: Never under estimate your enemy

"Enemy"? Oh shyt! I was fully aware that they send you a notice when someone adds you to their "friends list" but I had no idea they also notify you when you're added to someone's "enemy list"! Ooooops!

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed May 21, 2014 9:03 am

High Threshold;1454948 wrote: I'm much more spontaneous than that. My wife NEVER expects it when I spring a little surprise for her.

Do you come up behind her?

Snowfire · Post by **Snowfire** » Wed May 21, 2014 11:15 am

Oscar Sellotape;1454956 wrote: Do you come up behind her?

Oooh Matron !

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed May 21, 2014 11:38 am

Snowfire;1454963 wrote: Oooh Matron ! Dirty boy !

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Wed May 21, 2014 11:57 am

Oscar Sellotape;1454956 wrote: Do you come up behind her?

We did experiment the first year or two but we've since settled into a standard routine. We're both Catholic ya know.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed May 21, 2014 12:24 pm

High Threshold;1454966 wrote: We did experiment the first year or two but we've since settled into a standard routine. We're both Catholic ya know. I'm not averse to It.... I just object when I'm bending down pegging the washing out.

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Wed May 21, 2014 12:40 pm

High Threshold;1454948 wrote:

"Enemy"? Oh shyt! I was fully aware that they send you a notice when someone adds you to their "friends list" but I had no idea they also notify you when you're added to someone's "enemy list"! Ooooops!

oh you !!! get on wit ya!!!

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Wed May 21, 2014 12:48 pm

Oscar Sellotape;1454975 wrote: I'm not averse to It.... I just object when I'm bending down pegging the washing out.

Try stringing it up at eye-level instead. It's better for your back, and it'll keep the wash off the grass too.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed May 21, 2014 12:56 pm

High Threshold;1454986 wrote: Try stringing it up at eye-level instead. It's better for your back, and it'll keep the wash off the grass too.

:wah::wah::wah:

When you know your mates are phoning later In the evening, according to you ' It's not that late', when you're not expecting your mates to phone and the phone rings at 7 pm you cry ' who the bloody hell's that at this time of night'?

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon May 26, 2014 8:57 am

You accuse us of not thinking things through... but... I swear this took place an hour ago.

And the award for ' Not Thinking things through' goes to my husband.... Last night I e mail my racing syndicate asking them to please send horse updates to my husbands e mail address until further notice as I have a problem. I explain to my husband the problem being I can send e mail but can not receive... He's just said to me, I got your horse update In an e mail and...... I've e mailed It to you...

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Mon May 26, 2014 9:17 am

Oscar Sellotape;1455489 wrote: You accuse us of not thinking things through... but... I swear this took place an hour ago.

And the award for ' Not Thinking things through' goes to my husband.... Last night I e mail my racing syndicate asking them to please send horse updates to my husbands e mail address until further notice as I have a problem. I explain to my husband the problem being I can send e mail but can not receive... He's just said to me, I got your horse update In an e mail and...... I've e mailed It to you...

In that case you ought NOT to criticize us for "not thinking things through" but for (and I know I'm guilty of this) not letting you finish speaking, or only listening to the first part and assuming you mean something else.

While we're on the subject, it might not be that women don't think things through so much but the fact that they often come to illogical conclusions. I met an American girl in Basel (Switzerland). She was writing a post card to send back home. I noticed that the card was of a castle in Germany so I asked her if it wasn't odd sending a German post card from Switzerland. "I already thought that through", she replied, "I bought the postage stamp before I left Germany!"

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon May 26, 2014 9:50 am

High Threshold;1455492 wrote: In that case you ought NOT to criticize us for "not thinking things through" but for (and I know I'm guilty of this) not letting you finish speaking, or only listening to the first part and assuming you mean something else.

While we're on the subject, it might not be that women don't think things through so much but the fact that they often come to illogical conclusions. I met an American girl in Basel (Switzerland). She was writing a post card to send back home. I noticed that the card was of a castle in Germany so I asked her if it wasn't odd sending a German post card from Switzerland. "I already thought that through", she replied, "I bought the postage stamp before I left Germany!" I think you'll find that Is superior female logic. :yh_rotfl

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Mon May 26, 2014 10:16 am

Oscar Sellotape;1455494 wrote: I think you'll find that Is superior female logic. :yh_rotfl

G'wan and admit it .... you didn't see the problem immediately, did you. :yh_giggle

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon May 26, 2014 10:28 am

High Threshold;1455495 wrote: G'wan and admit it .... you didn't see the problem immediately, did you. :yh_giggle I'll forever remember a moment with my Mother and female logic.

We were all at a Cricket match and some old boy was talking about a woman he knew but couldn't remember her name. He's saying over and over ' oh what was her name again? Mr Clarke's wife... now what was her name ? My Mother turned and said dryly ' Mrs Clarke' ?.... The silence was deafening.... see.. female logic.

High Threshold · Post by **High Threshold** » Mon May 26, 2014 11:49 am

Oscar Sellotape;1455497 wrote: I'll forever remember a moment with my Mother and female logic.

We were all at a Cricket match and some old boy was talking about a woman he knew but couldn't remember her name. He's saying over and over ' oh what was her name again? Mr Clarke's wife... now what was her name ? My Mother turned and said dryly ' Mrs Clarke' ?.... The silence was deafening.... see.. female logic.

Superb! :wah: I love it!