Big rock

Post by **Chloe_88** » Sun May 18, 2014 12:24 pm

Don't you just feel like hiding under a big fat rock sometimes.. ?

I'm starting to seriously wonder how much bad news a human being can handle :-5

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Sun May 18, 2014 12:29 pm

Yes, I've spent the last decade plus wanting to run away. The problem is, I come with me. What has happened now, Chloe?

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Sun May 18, 2014 12:29 pm

Buck up you'll be right

Post by **Chloe_88** » Sun May 18, 2014 12:33 pm

AnneBoleyn;1454594 wrote: Yes, I've spent the last decade plus wanting to run away. The problem is, I come with me. What has happened now, Chloe?

Family crisis Anne.. At least nobody died this time.. but still.. Doesn't help something bad happend to my brother who lives in a different country!

Every time I think things are going the correct direction, something happens to someone I love, or something bad happens to myself. Does it ever stop ?!

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Sun May 18, 2014 12:51 pm

There are reprieves Chloe, but for some it does not stop. That doesn't mean it won't...........I'm speaking negatively because bad things happened for me & I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Hopefully, I can live out the rest of my life in relative peace as at this juncture I really only care about 1 human.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Sun May 18, 2014 1:08 pm

Into every life a little rain must fall........so they say.

My favourites............ Life is what happens while you make other plans......and.....This too will end.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sun May 18, 2014 1:30 pm

I'm sure I have told you this before Chloe. In the space of one year, I lost both parents, my Sister to breast cancer, my one remaining aunt and I had emergency major surgery.

At the time I felt just like you but It does get better. Now I know that sounds trite right now but It does. When you come out the other side, you'll come out stronger and better experienced at dealing with the crap In life. Major upsets like these In a way are tests of strength. What doesn't break you, makes you. What It does do, Is make you a compassionate human being who will be there for others In the future..... and you know you can always come here to vent.

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Sun May 18, 2014 2:26 pm

Bruv;1454599 wrote: Into every life a little rain must fall........so they say.

My favourites............ Life is what happens while you make other plans......and.....This too will end.

Beautiful beautiful beautiful ............beautiful boy .

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Sun May 18, 2014 2:31 pm

Chloe, these are all the things that eventually make us old wise people. If life didn't touch you you would be none the wiser about life.

Post by **jones jones** » Mon May 19, 2014 10:30 am

Been there & done that with the rock thingee Oscar. Trouble is that after a while that there rock gets heavier & heavier and all of a sudden you find that being under the rock is a lot worse than facing life.

So maybe you should try doing what I do which is to say to yourself:

"F-ck yesterday and f-ck tomorrow cos I have no control over them and no way of changing what happened or what may happen later. Worrying about them is a waste of my precious energy."

So put all your energy on what you can control which is the here and now. You can control the moment and nothing else.

When I get up every morning I go to the bathroom and look in the mirror. Soon as I see my face I say: "Hello Jj ... Any idiot can face today and get thru it!"

And the day I don't see my face I won't have to worry! So WTF?

Take care now and have an awesome day!

Post by **Chloe_88** » Mon May 19, 2014 12:06 pm

Oscar Sellotape;1454606 wrote: I'm sure I have told you this before Chloe. In the space of one year, I lost both parents, my Sister to breast cancer, my one remaining aunt and I had emergency major surgery.

At the time I felt just like you but It does get better. Now I know that sounds trite right now but It does. When you come out the other side, you'll come out stronger and better experienced at dealing with the crap In life. Major upsets like these In a way are tests of strength. What doesn't break you, makes you. What It does do, Is make you a compassionate human being who will be there for others In the future..... and you know you can always come here to vent.

You have shared that before Oscar, it must have been so hard.

but 7 years of crap, is a long long time.. Get a bit tired in the end. I feel like slapping people, seriously. (not you, you to make things clear :wah: )

To leave out details, (and i know it's non of my business, but my brother and I look out for eachother) my brother and his wife had a falling out about something silly they both had done and now she has left him. They have 2 young kids (4 & 2,5). My brother is heartbroken and his health is quite bad at the moment. but unlike some, I do love my sister-in-law very much.

I just feel like going over there and slapping some sense in to the both of them.

In the mean time my dad is still having very bad chest pains after his heart attack.. he had more tests done, results are in on thursday.

I'm still at work part time because of illness, employer now being difficult etc.

So yeah, sometimes i just want to crawl underneath a big fat rock and not come out till it's all over.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Mon May 19, 2014 12:12 pm

jones jones;1454670 wrote: "F-ck yesterday and f-ck tomorrow cos I have no control over them and no way of changing what happened or what may happen later. Worrying about them is a waste of my precious energy."

So put all your energy on what you can control which is the here and now. You can control the moment and nothing else.!

I know JJ, but it's difficult when life hits you and your family hard. Deaths, illnesses etc.

I think I find it so hard because all of my family lives abroad except for my parents and one of my brothers.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon May 19, 2014 2:43 pm

Chloe_88;1454684 wrote: You have shared that before Oscar, it must have been so hard.

but 7 years of crap, is a long long time.. Get a bit tired in the end. I feel like slapping people, seriously. (not you, you to make things clear :wah: )

To leave out details, (and i know it's non of my business, but my brother and I look out for eachother) my brother and his wife had a falling out about something silly they both had done and now she has left him. They have 2 young kids (4 & 2,5). My brother is heartbroken and his health is quite bad at the moment. but unlike some, I do love my sister-in-law very much.

I just feel like going over there and slapping some sense in to the both of them.

In the mean time my dad is still having very bad chest pains after his heart attack.. he had more tests done, results are in on thursday.

I'm still at work part time because of illness, employer now being difficult etc.

So yeah, sometimes i just want to crawl underneath a big fat rock and not come out till it's all over. There Is no shame In ever saying and admitting that you're not coping.

It can seem so unfair when everything comes at once.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Mon May 19, 2014 2:46 pm

Oscar Sellotape;1454711 wrote: There Is no shame In ever saying and admitting that you're not coping.

It can seem so unfair when everything comes at once.

Yup, is does. The thing is, I still wake up every moring, my pets need to be fed etc. that's what keeps me going

Post by **LarsMac** » Mon May 19, 2014 3:42 pm

Chloe_88;1454712 wrote: Yup, is does. The thing is, I still wake up every moring, my pets need to be fed etc. that's what keeps me going

No matter what you are going through, just take one step at a time. That's all you can do.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Wed May 21, 2014 11:09 am

like things couldn't get worse... my aunt phoned 999 yesterday.. my grandma has been admitted to hospital.. FFS!

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Wed May 21, 2014 12:06 pm

Just terrible, Chloe, like a tidal wave. I wish all your people, & you, the best.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Wed May 21, 2014 12:09 pm

AnneBoleyn;1454968 wrote: Just terrible, Chloe, like a tidal wave. I wish all your people, & you, the best.

and I just heard my other aunt was back home, but is now also being re-admitted to hospital...

When is that tidal wave going to stop...

But thanks Anne for your kind words

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Wed May 21, 2014 12:18 pm

Wish I could do more than words, but usually that is all an outsider to the situation can do. (((Chloe))). Outsiders can give hugs too.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Wed May 21, 2014 12:20 pm

Thank you Anne !

Post by **jones jones** » Wed May 21, 2014 12:35 pm

Jeeze Chloe you really having a bad run honey. I am sending as many positive vibes I can spare to you right now.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Wed May 21, 2014 12:39 pm

jones jones;1454977 wrote: Jeeze Chloe you really having a bad run honey. I am sending as many positive vibes I can spare to you right now.

Thank you JJ

I feel like i'm some sort of s.hit magnet at the moment.. And I know it's silly, but i'm starting to think people think i'm making this s.hit up.. seriously, how much can a person take at once ?

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Wed May 21, 2014 12:47 pm

You are NOT a Magnet! It is Not happening Because of You!

Post by **Chloe_88** » Wed May 21, 2014 12:48 pm

AnneBoleyn;1454985 wrote: You are NOT a Magnet! It is Not happening Because of You!

I hope not. If so I might need a bigger rock! :wah:

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Wed May 21, 2014 12:50 pm

You gotta keep laughing & finding things amusing (if you can). Humor is the only way to survive.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Wed May 21, 2014 12:51 pm

AnneBoleyn;1454988 wrote: You gotta keep laughing & finding things amusing (if you can). Humor is the only way to survive.

I was just thinking that exact same thing Anne!

Post by **jones jones** » Wed May 21, 2014 12:54 pm

I think that we all go thru a period in our lives when maybe this kinda stuff happens.

When I was twelve years old we returned from a holiday in Zimbabwe in the January. Within two weeks of our return Lola died suddenly from a stroke. At the same time I contracted typhoid fever and spent six weeks in hospital. In June I woke up one morning full of spots which my old man thought was measles. Turned out to be scarlet fever ... another three weeks in hospital. In August I had my tonsils out and at the same time had a cyst removed from my throat. October I was back in hospital as the cyst operation was a flop. In December I returned to hospital for another procedure on the cyst.

Since then, touch wood, I have never spent another hour in a hospital and I am now much older but just as dumb.

Makes you think that maybe after a long period of bad stuff happening, the Cosmos then gives you a very long break from bad stuff.

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Wed May 21, 2014 1:03 pm

JJ: "Makes you think that maybe after a long period of bad stuff happening, the Cosmos then gives you a very long break from bad stuff."

When? When? Is that true or are you starting a rumor????????

Post by **Chloe_88** » Wed May 21, 2014 1:08 pm

AnneBoleyn;1455000 wrote: JJ: "Makes you think that maybe after a long period of bad stuff happening, the Cosmos then gives you a very long break from bad stuff."

When? When? Is that true or are you starting a rumor????????

Yep he is!

Anywho, it's nice to know for some it gets better soon.. for others it takes a while longer.. ive been at it for at least 7 years... Actually longer than that.. but hey, lets just say it's been 7 years.

Post by **jones jones** » Wed May 21, 2014 1:11 pm

AnneBoleyn;1455000 wrote: JJ: "Makes you think that maybe after a long period of bad stuff happening, the Cosmos then gives you a very long break from bad stuff."

When? When? Is that true or are you starting a rumor????????

I think its true Annie.

Post by **jones jones** » Wed May 21, 2014 1:12 pm

Chloe_88;1455002 wrote: Yep he is!

Anywho, it's nice to know for some it gets better soon.. for others it takes a while longer.. ive been at it for at least 7 years... Actually longer than that.. but hey, lets just say it's been 7 years.

Did you break a few mirrors Chloe?

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Wed May 21, 2014 1:22 pm

Not just mirrors, but eyeglasses, teeth (dentures or real) & stuff in general.

Post by **jones jones** » Wed May 21, 2014 1:28 pm

AnneBoleyn;1455008 wrote: Not just mirrors, but eyeglasses, teeth (dentures or real) & stuff in general.

Hmmmmmmmmmm ... so you a "breaker of stuff' Annie ... or are you just a clumsy chick?

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Wed May 21, 2014 1:31 pm

No, before bad things, like life & death things have happened, eyeglasses get broken, also teeth, & another unrelated object.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Wed May 21, 2014 1:40 pm

I break everything that's in my way :wah:

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Wed May 21, 2014 1:49 pm

Good night everybody!!!!!!!!!!

Post by **jones jones** » Thu May 22, 2014 10:02 am

Chloe_88;1455011 wrote: I break everything that's in my way :wah:

Hmmmm ... :-3

Post by **Chloe_88** » Fri May 23, 2014 9:06 am

seems like i'm off to england to see my grandma in a couple of days (have to wait for my new passport).

we're driving there .. all 668 km.. pffff

Now just to get my 'food survival kit' ready .. i'm sorry but my body can't agree on products from England, I end up with bad tummy and blisters in my mouth every time..

Post by **jones jones** » Fri May 23, 2014 9:40 am

Chloe_88;1455128 wrote: seems like i'm off to england to see my grandma in a couple of days (have to wait for my new passport).

we're driving there .. all 668 km.. pffff

Now just to get my 'food survival kit' ready .. i'm sorry but my body can't agree on products from England, I end up with bad tummy and blisters in my mouth every time..

So you're like allergic to UK food? Interesting Chloe!

Post by **Chloe_88** » Fri May 23, 2014 9:51 am

jones jones;1455133 wrote: So you're like allergic to UK food? Interesting Chloe!

something like that JJ. :wah:

in my opinion to much salt and vinegar in English food.. Even a salad tastes salty and vinegary to me.. But there you go..

so i'm taking my own bread, cheese, lactose free milk and even the ingredients to make some evening meals..

i know it's extreme, but my tummy is a lot better now and i don't feel the need to upset it if not necessary....

Post by **Chloe_88** » Mon Jun 02, 2014 1:17 pm

Well I survived my trip to London..

I found it quite hard to breathe over there, all I could smell were exhaust fumes.

My grandma is alive but has no idea what's going on.. She's on a liquid diet now, but even with that, she's not taking in enough.. I can only imagine her kidneys will start to fail soon. As the nurses were asked to give my grandma a shower on sunday, it still wasn't done on the thursday.. My aunty dragged me and my grandma into the shower and I saw parts of my grandma I never wished to see.. The nurses just stood there and let us, eventhough they had no clue who we were.. At the end I was just glad my grandma felt clean and fresh again and I managed to keep my lunch down as she is now double incontinent.

She has even forgotten her favourite son, my dad. She looked at my dad, then pointed to the picture in front of her (taken not so long ago) and said: That's my son Peter you know.. and looked back at my dad.. Not realizing the person she was talking to, was the person in the picture. She couldn't even recognize herself in that very same picture..

She will not be going home after the hospital discharge her.. My aunties are looking for a suitable care home now, as one of my aunties is very unwell herself..

To be honest, this was more or less my last trip to England.

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Mon Jun 02, 2014 2:19 pm

Oh Chloe that is very sad. So sorry. A tragedy.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Mon Jun 02, 2014 2:34 pm

AnneBoleyn;1456235 wrote: Oh Chloe that is very sad. So sorry. A tragedy.

that's alzheimer for you...

Then again, she has had a nice life, shame she can't remember it.. Little things like how proper she was, but broke her nose whilst dancing on a table at school etc..

Post by **LarsMac** » Mon Jun 02, 2014 2:43 pm

Chloe_88;1456238 wrote: that's alzheimer for you...

Then again, she has had a nice life, shame she can't remember it.. Little things like how proper she was, but broke her nose whilst dancing on a table at school etc..

When my grandmother was there, it was astounding the things she could remember about long ago, and yet, could not tell who we were, or why we were there.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Mon Jun 02, 2014 2:49 pm

LarsMac;1456242 wrote: When my grandmother was there, it was astounding the things she could remember about long ago, and yet, could not tell who we were, or why we were there.

That's how my grandma used to be about 3-4 years ago.. Now she has even lost her long term memory. Well most of it anyway.

Alzheimers, it is terrible as you will know.. To be honest I don;t know whats worse, my grandad's emphysema (died 7 years ago) or my grandma's alzheimers...

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Mon Jun 02, 2014 2:52 pm

Meaning no disrespect Chloe, I'd wish someone would just shoot me if I were in that condition. It's a blessing, I think, that she doesn't remember. I promised my mother I would kill her if that happened, that made her glad, but at 81, in the prime of health, a car ran into her instead.

I really feel for you & your family, Chloe, & I want to repeat I mean no disrespect to you at all. (((Chloe))) You have a big big heart.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Mon Jun 02, 2014 2:59 pm

AnneBoleyn;1456248 wrote: Meaning no disrespect Chloe, I'd wish someone would just shoot me if I were in that condition. It's a blessing, I think, that she doesn't remember. I promised my mother I would kill her if that happened, that made her glad, but at 81, in the prime of health, a car ran into her instead.

I really feel for you & your family, Chloe, & I want to repeat I mean no disrespect to you at all. (((Chloe))) You have a big big heart.

I know what you mean.. My other nan said if she had an alzheimer test done and it showed she had it, she would stop dialysis and take every pill & insuline injection she had.

And to be honest, I wouldn't blame her at all.

I hope your mum had a happy & enjoyable life Anne.. I just hope my grandma goes quickly now, it might sound horrible but well you guys know what I mean...

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Mon Jun 02, 2014 3:03 pm

"I just hope my grandma goes quickly now, it might sound horrible but well you guys know what I mean..."

I do know what you mean, & I pray you get your wish, which comes from the love you have for her.

Post by **LarsMac** » Mon Jun 02, 2014 3:04 pm

Chloe_88;1456246 wrote: That's how my grandma used to be about 3-4 years ago.. Now she has even lost her long term memory. Well most of it anyway.

Alzheimers, it is terrible as you will know.. To be honest I don;t know whats worse, my grandad's emphysema (died 7 years ago) or my grandma's alzheimers...

Yes it is. My uncle is going through it now. He is 84, and it came on very fast a couple of years ago, and he has now almost completely gone. My cousins just entered him into a hospice.

I will soon be the patriarch of my father's line. That's a scary thought.

I worry, every time I forget someone's name.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Mon Jun 02, 2014 3:05 pm

AnneBoleyn;1456252 wrote: I do know what you mean, & I pray you get your wish, which comes from the love you have for her.

Thank you Anne