At least, way back when I was in school your bully couldn't get into your life quite so much as they do now via social media!
Daughter has been bullied at school for a while now. Mother of the child seems to want to keep it all going whereas I'm saying leave it be, don't respond, don't react just ignore they will get bored and move on.
Sadly the mother of the other child took to waiting outside the school gates everyday and no doubt will do so again this coming term.
Should have all been silent over the summer holidays but do gooder so called friends of my daughter have tried to 'make the peace' which in fact has no doubt just ensured that upon return to school the whole damn issue will be inflamed again. :-5
I remember just my bully, I stood up to her, no one else got involved, not my friends and not her friends. Today it seems that the bully has a whole crowd around them, not just their peers but adults too!
What is the matter with these so called adults?
Rant over... soooo frustrated with the whole thing and being advised by one of my friends to go and give the mother what for because apparently that will sort it all out??
So if I did go down that route (which is something I actually would never do), doesn't that make me a bully too?
Schooldays...
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Betty Boop
- Posts: 16942
- Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2005 1:17 pm
- Location: The end of the World
Schooldays...
Have you contacted the school? If they don't satisfy you go to the school board. A lot of schools are being sued for ignoring bullying, so they should be very helpful.
Please don't escalate. Maybe you could involve the police? I've heard of bullies being held to task under the stalking laws. The least they could do would talk to the parents of the other child and make a report. that could be of use if things go wrong. Other people you might want to try are the school counselor and the school's Student Resource Officer.
Please don't escalate. Maybe you could involve the police? I've heard of bullies being held to task under the stalking laws. The least they could do would talk to the parents of the other child and make a report. that could be of use if things go wrong. Other people you might want to try are the school counselor and the school's Student Resource Officer.
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Patsy Warnick
- Posts: 4567
- Joined: Fri Feb 03, 2006 12:53 am
Schooldays...
Betty
Sounds like the Mother is/was a bully too.
The Mother is supporting the child's behavior - I would contact the school.
If this continues I would contact the Police since it is involving a adult too. This ends up being a form of assault - a threat to harm.
be strong
Patsy
Sounds like the Mother is/was a bully too.
The Mother is supporting the child's behavior - I would contact the school.
If this continues I would contact the Police since it is involving a adult too. This ends up being a form of assault - a threat to harm.
be strong
Patsy
Schooldays...
I know it happens, but I've never fully understood how someone can allow themselves to be bullied via Social Media - especially if it's always by the same person. Surely all they need to do is to block that person altogether, or simply not remained glued to their mobile all the time.
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Betty Boop
- Posts: 16942
- Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2005 1:17 pm
- Location: The end of the World
Schooldays...
Saint_;1462201 wrote: Have you contacted the school? If they don't satisfy you go to the school board. A lot of schools are being sued for ignoring bullying, so they should be very helpful.
Please don't escalate. Maybe you could involve the police? I've heard of bullies being held to task under the stalking laws. The least they could do would talk to the parents of the other child and make a report. that could be of use if things go wrong. Other people you might want to try are the school counselor and the school's Student Resource Officer.
Done it all, school report there is not a problem within school. Have reported the mother suddenly deciding to have to collect her daughter but with the purpose of intimidating my daughter.
My daughter has been instructed to leave via another gate and take another route home. The silliness is that really this other girl should be leaving by another gate which is closest to her route home, she used to, but since mother comes to meet her she leaves at the gate that is closest for my daughters route home. It's all so ridiculous it's scary. She has a counter claim that my daughter is bullying her daughter and that's why she meets her from school.
Police know there is a problem and when they have the time they carry out a walk by so there presence is known. Other mother scurries off when she sees them.
I will talk to the school again when they return to school to make sure they realise there is still an issue.
Please don't escalate. Maybe you could involve the police? I've heard of bullies being held to task under the stalking laws. The least they could do would talk to the parents of the other child and make a report. that could be of use if things go wrong. Other people you might want to try are the school counselor and the school's Student Resource Officer.
Done it all, school report there is not a problem within school. Have reported the mother suddenly deciding to have to collect her daughter but with the purpose of intimidating my daughter.
My daughter has been instructed to leave via another gate and take another route home. The silliness is that really this other girl should be leaving by another gate which is closest to her route home, she used to, but since mother comes to meet her she leaves at the gate that is closest for my daughters route home. It's all so ridiculous it's scary. She has a counter claim that my daughter is bullying her daughter and that's why she meets her from school.
Police know there is a problem and when they have the time they carry out a walk by so there presence is known. Other mother scurries off when she sees them.
I will talk to the school again when they return to school to make sure they realise there is still an issue.
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AnneBoleyn
- Posts: 6632
- Joined: Sun Dec 11, 2011 3:17 pm
Schooldays...
What form does the bullying take Betty? What actually happens? Does it spill over to the internet?
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Betty Boop
- Posts: 16942
- Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2005 1:17 pm
- Location: The end of the World
Schooldays...
FourPart;1462212 wrote: I know it happens, but I've never fully understood how someone can allow themselves to be bullied via Social Media - especially if it's always by the same person. Surely all they need to do is to block that person altogether, or simply not remained glued to their mobile all the time.
They are all blocked and there is no direct online bullying going on. My daughter is discouraged from writing all about her life on FB but a new found friend has been been putting up information willy nilly for the last week :rolleyes: I've had a chat and suggested it stops so other people can't react to the fact she is friends with my daughter as now they have decided to pick on her a bit and apply pressure as there is a family tie there, good lord it's all so damn involved :wah:
I'm actually still pretty much in control of her facebook account, its linked to my email address so I keep watch. Shame other parents don't do so too.
They are all blocked and there is no direct online bullying going on. My daughter is discouraged from writing all about her life on FB but a new found friend has been been putting up information willy nilly for the last week :rolleyes: I've had a chat and suggested it stops so other people can't react to the fact she is friends with my daughter as now they have decided to pick on her a bit and apply pressure as there is a family tie there, good lord it's all so damn involved :wah:
I'm actually still pretty much in control of her facebook account, its linked to my email address so I keep watch. Shame other parents don't do so too.
Schooldays...
You could always get her to make her FaceBook account Private so it's only accessible by those who she chooses.
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Betty Boop
- Posts: 16942
- Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2005 1:17 pm
- Location: The end of the World
Schooldays...
FourPart;1462257 wrote: You could always get her to make her FaceBook account Private so it's only accessible by those who she chooses.
I think it is set at that anyway, what we do need to do is have a cull of friends she's accepted !
I think it is set at that anyway, what we do need to do is have a cull of friends she's accepted !
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Peter Lake
- Posts: 1031
- Joined: Mon Jul 21, 2008 2:02 pm
Schooldays...
You have my sympathies and i'm sure you've done your own research but there's some points here that may be of help.
Beatbullying - Help for parents
I think in the past, heads played down bullying for fear of a negative Ofsted report and i believe this was no doubt why the previous head at our school ignored bullying on a grand scale. She would go as far as to accuse the child of lying and parents overreacting. Ultimately, she was removed and the new head within a few months totally eradicted the problem. Yet, many parents when met with apathy from teachers and heads give up at the first hurdle and as with our school, even having to remove their children through lack of support from the school. Our school's history with bullying shows that no parent or child should be expected to endure this indefinitely and there are greater measures you can follow.
Unfortunately, i don't believe in a legal sense, there's anything you can do about the mother at the school gates in that if it's a public place, she has every right to be there. Unless there's any history of actual threats made by the mother, her plea that she's collecting her child will be deemed acceptable.
The stopping of the bullying should be the primary focus of the school and not looking to paper over the cracks by suggesting different collection points for as you've pointed out, the bullying in this day and age is not just confined to school time.
Beatbullying - Help for parents
I think in the past, heads played down bullying for fear of a negative Ofsted report and i believe this was no doubt why the previous head at our school ignored bullying on a grand scale. She would go as far as to accuse the child of lying and parents overreacting. Ultimately, she was removed and the new head within a few months totally eradicted the problem. Yet, many parents when met with apathy from teachers and heads give up at the first hurdle and as with our school, even having to remove their children through lack of support from the school. Our school's history with bullying shows that no parent or child should be expected to endure this indefinitely and there are greater measures you can follow.
Unfortunately, i don't believe in a legal sense, there's anything you can do about the mother at the school gates in that if it's a public place, she has every right to be there. Unless there's any history of actual threats made by the mother, her plea that she's collecting her child will be deemed acceptable.
The stopping of the bullying should be the primary focus of the school and not looking to paper over the cracks by suggesting different collection points for as you've pointed out, the bullying in this day and age is not just confined to school time.
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Betty Boop
- Posts: 16942
- Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2005 1:17 pm
- Location: The end of the World
Schooldays...
Peter Lake;1462296 wrote: You have my sympathies and i'm sure you've done your own research but there's some points here that may be of help.
Beatbullying - Help for parents
I think in the past, heads played down bullying for fear of a negative Ofsted report and i believe this was no doubt why the previous head at our school ignored bullying on a grand scale. She would go as far as to accuse the child of lying and parents overreacting. Ultimately, she was removed and the new head within a few months totally eradicted the problem. Yet, many parents when met with apathy from teachers and heads give up at the first hurdle and as with our school, even having to remove their children through lack of support from the school. Our school's history with bullying shows that no parent or child should be expected to endure this indefinitely and there are greater measures you can follow.
Unfortunately, i don't believe in a legal sense, there's anything you can do about the mother at the school gates in that if it's a public place, she has every right to be there. Unless there's any history of actual threats made by the mother, her plea that she's collecting her child will be deemed acceptable.
The stopping of the bullying should be the primary focus of the school and not looking to paper over the cracks by suggesting different collection points for as you've pointed out, the bullying in this day and age is not just confined to school time.
Last time I spoke with the school the teacher I had been dealing with was going on about sometimes the parents keep fuelling the situation and she actually made me think gosh am I doing that? But then comes reality, I am not outside the school gates glaring at her daughter everyday. When my daughter brings up the situation here I reiterate the fact she needs to just ignore the girl and she will go away eventually. I have explained that unless she physically attacks there is actually bugger all we can do and my daughter just needs to get on with life as if they do not exist which is obviously easier said than done.
The whole time this has been going on the police have actually been more than happy to visit the mother and have a word but we all have to be aware of how that could escalate nastily. Bit stunned that the police would be willing to take such a step when nothing has technically happened! Makes you wonder hey.
The school is a bit too keen on saying 'we can only deal with anything that happens inside school, anything outside is nothing at all to do with us' which just seems a bit like not really interested in the welfare of the children outside these gates to me.
Might be a direct to the headmaster situation next term, will see how it pans out.
Beatbullying - Help for parents
I think in the past, heads played down bullying for fear of a negative Ofsted report and i believe this was no doubt why the previous head at our school ignored bullying on a grand scale. She would go as far as to accuse the child of lying and parents overreacting. Ultimately, she was removed and the new head within a few months totally eradicted the problem. Yet, many parents when met with apathy from teachers and heads give up at the first hurdle and as with our school, even having to remove their children through lack of support from the school. Our school's history with bullying shows that no parent or child should be expected to endure this indefinitely and there are greater measures you can follow.
Unfortunately, i don't believe in a legal sense, there's anything you can do about the mother at the school gates in that if it's a public place, she has every right to be there. Unless there's any history of actual threats made by the mother, her plea that she's collecting her child will be deemed acceptable.
The stopping of the bullying should be the primary focus of the school and not looking to paper over the cracks by suggesting different collection points for as you've pointed out, the bullying in this day and age is not just confined to school time.
Last time I spoke with the school the teacher I had been dealing with was going on about sometimes the parents keep fuelling the situation and she actually made me think gosh am I doing that? But then comes reality, I am not outside the school gates glaring at her daughter everyday. When my daughter brings up the situation here I reiterate the fact she needs to just ignore the girl and she will go away eventually. I have explained that unless she physically attacks there is actually bugger all we can do and my daughter just needs to get on with life as if they do not exist which is obviously easier said than done.
The whole time this has been going on the police have actually been more than happy to visit the mother and have a word but we all have to be aware of how that could escalate nastily. Bit stunned that the police would be willing to take such a step when nothing has technically happened! Makes you wonder hey.
The school is a bit too keen on saying 'we can only deal with anything that happens inside school, anything outside is nothing at all to do with us' which just seems a bit like not really interested in the welfare of the children outside these gates to me.
Might be a direct to the headmaster situation next term, will see how it pans out.
Schooldays...
Perhaps the NSPCC might be able to help?
Schooldays...
I think in the past, heads played down bullying for fear of a negative Ofsted report and i believe this was no doubt why the previous head at our school ignored bullying on a grand scale.
Damn the negative Ofsted report, they wouldn't get one if they done something about bullying which really needs stamping out once and for all. >:(
I didn't get any support when I went through the hell of bullying. Even now two women think they have to carry it on (their in their forties now believe it or not) you don't have to put up with this.
Ring childline
ChildLine
ChildLine
(opens in a new window) ChildLine provide support and counselling for anyone up to the age of 18. ChildLine can discuss anything of concern.
Helpline: 0800 11 11 (lines open 24 hours)
or BeatBullying - Home might be able to help other organisations that can help are:
Bullying UK
http://www.bullying.co.uk/advice/anti-bullying-advice (opens in a new window)
Bullying UK offer information on all types of bullying including workplace, school and via text messages.
Parent Helpline: 0808 800 222 (Lines open 7am – Midnight)
Beat Bullying
BeatBullying - Home (opens in a new window)
Beat Bullying work with children and young people to stop bullying.
Kidscape
Kidscape - Preventing bullying, protecting children (opens in a new window)
Offering advice to parents, carers and professionals about anti-bullying and child safety advice. Further information is available to download online.
Five Links Turning Point
Welcome to our new website! - Five Links Turning Point Bullying Support and Advice (opens in a new window)
Support and advice for anyone suffering bullying.
Supportline
SupportLine - Problems: Bullying at school: Advice, support and information (opens in a new window)
Supportline provides telephone support for any problems including bullying and cyber-bullying. Helpline: 01708 765 200 (lines open Monday 8.30 – 10.30am, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday 5pm – 7.30pm)
Email: info@supportline.org.uk
Gov.uk – bullying at school
https://www.gov.uk/bullying-at-school/r ... g-bullying (opens in a new window)
Information from the Government about the legal position of school bullying, includes what schools and the police need to do and how to report it.
Hope this help
Damn the negative Ofsted report, they wouldn't get one if they done something about bullying which really needs stamping out once and for all. >:(
I didn't get any support when I went through the hell of bullying. Even now two women think they have to carry it on (their in their forties now believe it or not) you don't have to put up with this.
Ring childline
ChildLine
ChildLine
(opens in a new window) ChildLine provide support and counselling for anyone up to the age of 18. ChildLine can discuss anything of concern.
Helpline: 0800 11 11 (lines open 24 hours)
or BeatBullying - Home might be able to help other organisations that can help are:
Bullying UK
http://www.bullying.co.uk/advice/anti-bullying-advice (opens in a new window)
Bullying UK offer information on all types of bullying including workplace, school and via text messages.
Parent Helpline: 0808 800 222 (Lines open 7am – Midnight)
Beat Bullying
BeatBullying - Home (opens in a new window)
Beat Bullying work with children and young people to stop bullying.
Kidscape
Kidscape - Preventing bullying, protecting children (opens in a new window)
Offering advice to parents, carers and professionals about anti-bullying and child safety advice. Further information is available to download online.
Five Links Turning Point
Welcome to our new website! - Five Links Turning Point Bullying Support and Advice (opens in a new window)
Support and advice for anyone suffering bullying.
Supportline
SupportLine - Problems: Bullying at school: Advice, support and information (opens in a new window)
Supportline provides telephone support for any problems including bullying and cyber-bullying. Helpline: 01708 765 200 (lines open Monday 8.30 – 10.30am, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday 5pm – 7.30pm)
Email: info@supportline.org.uk
Gov.uk – bullying at school
https://www.gov.uk/bullying-at-school/r ... g-bullying (opens in a new window)
Information from the Government about the legal position of school bullying, includes what schools and the police need to do and how to report it.
Hope this help
Schooldays...
I think in the past, heads played down bullying for fear of a negative Ofsted report and i believe this was no doubt why the previous head at our school ignored bullying on a grand scale.
Damn the negative Ofsted report, they wouldn't get one if they done something about bullying which really needs stamping out once and for all. >:(
I didn't get any support when I went through the hell of bullying. Even now two women think they have to carry it on (their in their forties now believe it or not) you don't have to put up with this.
Ring childline
ChildLine
ChildLine
(opens in a new window) ChildLine provide support and counselling for anyone up to the age of 18. ChildLine can discuss anything of concern.
Helpline: 0800 11 11 (lines open 24 hours)
or BeatBullying - Home might be able to help other organisations that can help are:
Bullying UK
http://www.bullying.co.uk/advice/anti-bullying-advice (opens in a new window)
Bullying UK offer information on all types of bullying including workplace, school and via text messages.
Parent Helpline: 0808 800 222 (Lines open 7am – Midnight)
Beat Bullying
BeatBullying - Home (opens in a new window)
Beat Bullying work with children and young people to stop bullying.
Kidscape
Kidscape - Preventing bullying, protecting children (opens in a new window)
Offering advice to parents, carers and professionals about anti-bullying and child safety advice. Further information is available to download online.
Five Links Turning Point
Welcome to our new website! - Five Links Turning Point Bullying Support and Advice (opens in a new window)
Support and advice for anyone suffering bullying.
Supportline
SupportLine - Problems: Bullying at school: Advice, support and information (opens in a new window)
Supportline provides telephone support for any problems including bullying and cyber-bullying. Helpline: 01708 765 200 (lines open Monday 8.30 – 10.30am, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday 5pm – 7.30pm)
Email: info@supportline.org.uk
Gov.uk – bullying at school
https://www.gov.uk/bullying-at-school/r ... g-bullying (opens in a new window)
Information from the Government about the legal position of school bullying, includes what schools and the police need to do and how to report it.
Hope this help
Damn the negative Ofsted report, they wouldn't get one if they done something about bullying which really needs stamping out once and for all. >:(
I didn't get any support when I went through the hell of bullying. Even now two women think they have to carry it on (their in their forties now believe it or not) you don't have to put up with this.
Ring childline
ChildLine
ChildLine
(opens in a new window) ChildLine provide support and counselling for anyone up to the age of 18. ChildLine can discuss anything of concern.
Helpline: 0800 11 11 (lines open 24 hours)
or BeatBullying - Home might be able to help other organisations that can help are:
Bullying UK
http://www.bullying.co.uk/advice/anti-bullying-advice (opens in a new window)
Bullying UK offer information on all types of bullying including workplace, school and via text messages.
Parent Helpline: 0808 800 222 (Lines open 7am – Midnight)
Beat Bullying
BeatBullying - Home (opens in a new window)
Beat Bullying work with children and young people to stop bullying.
Kidscape
Kidscape - Preventing bullying, protecting children (opens in a new window)
Offering advice to parents, carers and professionals about anti-bullying and child safety advice. Further information is available to download online.
Five Links Turning Point
Welcome to our new website! - Five Links Turning Point Bullying Support and Advice (opens in a new window)
Support and advice for anyone suffering bullying.
Supportline
SupportLine - Problems: Bullying at school: Advice, support and information (opens in a new window)
Supportline provides telephone support for any problems including bullying and cyber-bullying. Helpline: 01708 765 200 (lines open Monday 8.30 – 10.30am, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday 5pm – 7.30pm)
Email: info@supportline.org.uk
Gov.uk – bullying at school
https://www.gov.uk/bullying-at-school/r ... g-bullying (opens in a new window)
Information from the Government about the legal position of school bullying, includes what schools and the police need to do and how to report it.
Hope this help
-
Oscar Namechange
- Posts: 31842
- Joined: Wed Jul 30, 2008 9:26 am
Schooldays...
The actual law surrounding whether the school is responsible for what happens outside the gates Is muddyed.
We had a ridiculous situation with the Head who was moved on when I formed a residents committee with local Councilors about the grid lock In our Close due to parent parking, blocking drives, parking on kerbs etc etc. The Head didn't want to know full stop claiming what happened outside the gates was none of her business.... until I got the Bristol Evening Post to print an article that residents were disgusted with her attitude as a child being knocked down was just a matter of time.... HA !! We were met with total beligerance and even the local elected Councilors could not believe the attitude.
One day, a particular nuisence parent In a 4X4 parked so close on the grass verge to a residents gate that she was physically unable to leave her house. So she did what the police advised us all to do and went out there and took photographs of the car on the grass verge. Somebody must have said something because the next thing, the Head came charging out the gates, down the Close and In front of school children and parents, accused the resident of ' Pedophile activity' and told her she was photographing children. There was a massive to do over It and the Head came within a hair of being sued. When Councillor's submitted a complaint to the Education Authority, the Head changed tack and claimed, what happened outside the school gates was her business after all.
Another time, a residents disbaled child had suffered horrendous bullying and again the Head did nothing even claiming the child was lying. To cut a very long story short. the boys Dad began meeting him at the gates. One afternoon as he walked up the Close, he could see the bully starting on his boy, so raced up there and pulled the bully off his child. Next he's been arrested and charged with common assault on the bully. The Head made a statement as the witness claiming It was her business because she was responsible for what happened outside the gates all of a sudden... again !!
So It's proof, that these Heads use the unclear responsibilty to suit.
In the end, we had residents pulling their kids out of the school so we set about complaining.
The procedure was:
First complain to the Head,
No response, write to the Govenors and ask for a meeting.
No response, obtain the complaints procedure from the school.
Ask the Head again for a meeting.
No response, complain In writing to local Council.
Finally, If no action, submit formal complaints to the Government department of Education.
We did all of that but It took three months. However, the outcome was a favourable one.
We had a ridiculous situation with the Head who was moved on when I formed a residents committee with local Councilors about the grid lock In our Close due to parent parking, blocking drives, parking on kerbs etc etc. The Head didn't want to know full stop claiming what happened outside the gates was none of her business.... until I got the Bristol Evening Post to print an article that residents were disgusted with her attitude as a child being knocked down was just a matter of time.... HA !! We were met with total beligerance and even the local elected Councilors could not believe the attitude.
One day, a particular nuisence parent In a 4X4 parked so close on the grass verge to a residents gate that she was physically unable to leave her house. So she did what the police advised us all to do and went out there and took photographs of the car on the grass verge. Somebody must have said something because the next thing, the Head came charging out the gates, down the Close and In front of school children and parents, accused the resident of ' Pedophile activity' and told her she was photographing children. There was a massive to do over It and the Head came within a hair of being sued. When Councillor's submitted a complaint to the Education Authority, the Head changed tack and claimed, what happened outside the school gates was her business after all.
Another time, a residents disbaled child had suffered horrendous bullying and again the Head did nothing even claiming the child was lying. To cut a very long story short. the boys Dad began meeting him at the gates. One afternoon as he walked up the Close, he could see the bully starting on his boy, so raced up there and pulled the bully off his child. Next he's been arrested and charged with common assault on the bully. The Head made a statement as the witness claiming It was her business because she was responsible for what happened outside the gates all of a sudden... again !!
So It's proof, that these Heads use the unclear responsibilty to suit.
In the end, we had residents pulling their kids out of the school so we set about complaining.
The procedure was:
First complain to the Head,
No response, write to the Govenors and ask for a meeting.
No response, obtain the complaints procedure from the school.
Ask the Head again for a meeting.
No response, complain In writing to local Council.
Finally, If no action, submit formal complaints to the Government department of Education.
We did all of that but It took three months. However, the outcome was a favourable one.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
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Betty Boop
- Posts: 16942
- Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2005 1:17 pm
- Location: The end of the World
Schooldays...
I shall await for the return to school, meanwhile there appears to have been a fall out with this girl that tried the botched patch up. Feels like I am :-5 at the moment :wah:
Schooldays...
Betty Boop;1462585 wrote: I shall await for the return to school, meanwhile there appears to have been a fall out with this girl that tried the botched patch up. Feels like I am :-5 at the moment :wah:
Bloody kids..........are they worth the worry?
Bloody kids..........are they worth the worry?
I thought I knew more than this until I opened my mouth