Another PC twist

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 12:44 pm

OK this seems a hot topic so here is my dilema, we have to put out a company XMAS Party invite. This year we are inviting "spouses" as well. But..... out of 12 of us, 2 do not have spouses. One has a partner and the other has a ... partner. How do you in a word term that spouses/partners are invited..... most of the staff is unaware that one co-worker is gay, and due to their staunch oldschool ethics this would shock their socks off, so out of respect to this co-worker I am in support of partner as that is what I class the beau as, we are too dam old to be called boyfriend and girlfriend. And guest sounds utterly stupid. Any ideas?

OpenMind · Post by **OpenMind** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 12:53 pm

I would go with the phrase 'partner' too. "We invite you and a partner" shouldn't be inoffensive as it would allow for unmarried couples as far as bigots are concerned, and permits anyone (including even those having affairs).

pina · Post by **pina** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 12:53 pm

How about inviting partner/friend. Spouses are classed as partners and for those who havn't can take a friend, maybe some would rather take a friend than their partner anyway.

OpenMind · Post by **OpenMind** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 12:54 pm

pina wrote: How about inviting partner/friend. Spouses are classed as partners and for those who havn't can take a friend, maybe some would rather take a friend than their partner anyway.

We almost think alike.

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 12:56 pm

OpenMind wrote: We almost think alike.

Thanks you guys, I agree with partner, but I bet the powers that be (boss's wife who loves to interfere) will put guest. Geeze how cold is that for anyone who is a spouse.

pina · Post by **pina** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 12:56 pm

OpenMind wrote: We almost think alike.

ALMOST....I know how you think but you only think you know how I think.

omg, I sound like Nomad.

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 12:57 pm

pina wrote: ALMOST....I know how you think but you only think you know how I think.

omg, I sound like Nomad.

*throws hands up in the air, runs screaming from the thread in fear* arrrrghhhhhhhhhh

SOJOURNER · Post by **SOJOURNER** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 12:58 pm

That's a sticky wicket. Guest, Significant Other, Friend.......

The more you try not to offend, the more it seem like it is offending.

When it come right down to it, guest seems to be the best option. This way, if a spouse happens to be unavailable to attend, an employee could invite a friend or a family member along so they would not be the odd person out at a party for two's.

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 12:59 pm

SOJOURNER wrote: That's a sticky wicket. Guest, Significant Other, Friend.......

The more you try not to offend, the more it seem like it is offending.

When it come right down to it, guest seems to be the best option. This way, if a spouse happens to be unavailable to attend, an employee could invite a friend or a family member along so they would not be the odd person out at a party for two's.

hmmm very good point your right never thought of that.

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 1:02 pm

How about COMPANION ?

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 1:05 pm

God i hate this stuff, I would put "we also invite whoever it is that you wake up with, if anyone, if you catch our drift", together with "and no, pets do not count" though in the real world you have to go with partner don't you? Of course you could go totally PC and say:

"We also invite the human being/living-concious-entity - {of all (or multiple) gender/religious/ethnic/tribal/national identities that they see fit to describe themsellves as} - that you are currently (though this does not necessarily mean permanent, that is your decision) married to/seeing/dating/involved with/fond of/interested in/mediatating with, though if you do come alone we will in no way judge you to be inferior, lonely, weird, or crap in bed, kind regards"

"P.S. Bring your own booze."

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 1:09 pm

Bez wrote: How about COMPANION ?

well that would mean leave the bf at home and bring my dog ahahahaha

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 1:10 pm

Galbally wrote: God i hate this stuff, I would put "we also invite whoever it is that you wake up with, if anyone, if you catch our drift", together with "and no, pets do not count" though in the real world you have to go with partner don't you? Of course you could go totally PC and say:

"We also invite the human being/living-concious-entity - {of all (or multiple) gender/religious/ethnic/tribal/national identities that they see fit to describe themsellves as} - that you are currently (though this does not necessarily mean permanent, that is your decision) married to/seeing/dating/involved with/fond of/interested in/mediatating with, though if you do come alone we will in no way judge you to be inferior, lonely, weird, or crap in bed, kind regards"

"P.S. Bring your own booze."

HAHAHAHAHAHA oh that is priceless ahahahaha OMG this could be fun.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 1:45 pm

minks wrote: Thanks you guys, I agree with partner, but I bet the powers that be (boss's wife who loves to interfere) will put guest. Geeze how cold is that for anyone who is a spouse.
Minks, you are absolutely right.

Bullet's uncle sent an invitation to his daughter's wedding, addessed only to him, and the invite said "and Guest." I was crushed, and infuriated. I am not going to the wedding out of protest. I'm pissed.

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 1:53 pm

BabyRider wrote: Minks, you are absolutely right.

Bullet's uncle sent an invitation to his daughter's wedding, addessed only to him, and the invite said "and Guest." I was crushed, and infuriated. I am not going to the wedding out of protest. I'm pissed.

zactly my point. Tis a tough one indeed. I am at the point of saying

"you and whomever you deem appropriate are invited to...."

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 1:57 pm

minks wrote: zactly my point. Tis a tough one indeed. I am at the point of saying

"you and whomever you deem appropriate are invited to...."

Thats good,

but don't forget about the booze.

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 1:59 pm

Galbally wrote: Thats good,

but don't forget about the booze.

Oh yeah let's make it totally tacky perfect ahahahahahaha

Then go around after and ask if anyone can donate paper plates, plastic cutlery and glasses

OpenMind · Post by **OpenMind** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 2:02 pm

What about Muslims? They can have 4 wives. it should therefore be guest/partner/ etc in the plural.

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 2:03 pm

Or better yet on the invite.... You and (please circle one of the below options)

Synonyms: accomplice, ally, assistant, associate, bedfellow, buddy, chum, co-worker, cohort, collaborator, colleague, companion, comrade, confederate, confrere, consort, crony, date, friend, helper, helpmate, husband, mate, pal, pard, participant, playmate, sidekick, spouse, teammate, wife

are invited to.....

Personally I like bedfellow ahahahahahahahahahahahah

OpenMind · Post by **OpenMind** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 2:03 pm

pina wrote: ALMOST....I know how you think but you only think you know how I think.

omg, I sound like Nomad.

I never deem to know what a female of the species thinks. I only almost think I almost know what you think.:wah:

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 2:12 pm

minks wrote: Oh yeah let's make it totally tacky perfect ahahahahahaha

Then go around after and ask if anyone can donate paper plates, plastic cutlery and glasses

I don't think it applies to ye in Canada because I believe that you are quite civilized up there, but in Ireland.....

As an example, I was once at a company "do" (party) in Dublin, now our company was an American one, and upper management didn't really know what Irish people are like when it comes to drink. So they invited us all out to a fancy dinner in a posh restuarant with a free bar for about an hour before the meal. Now where they came from, that meant that people would have a little glass of wine before their dinner. However, in Ireland, when people are given a free bar no matter how professional, classy, sophisticated, or responsible that they are, they will immeadiatly order 4 pints of guiness and 6 black russians for themselves and 28 for their mates. Thats just to get a thirst going. Needless to say, by the time it came to dinner, we were far too busy throwing each other out of windows to be bothered with mere food. I will never forget the look of sheer incomprehension and terror on our director's face when she saw her educated and professional employees turn into drink-crazed savages fighting over who had more olives in their (multiple) martinis.

I'm not saying that Irish people are bad employees, just don't give them a free bar..

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 2:19 pm

Galbally wrote: I don't think it applies to ye in Canada because I believe that you are quite civilized up there, but in Ireland.....

As an example, I was once at a company "do" (party) in Dublin, now our company was an American one, and upper management didn't really know what Irish people are like when it comes to drink. So they invited us all out to a fancy dinner in a posh restuarant with a free bar for about an hour before the meal. Now where they came from, that meant that people would have a little glass of wine before their dinner. However, in Ireland, when people are given a free bar no matter how professional, classy, sophisticated, or responsible that they are, they will immeadiatly order 4 pints of guiness and 6 black russians for themselves and 28 for their mates. Thats just to get a thirst going. Needless to say, by the time it came to dinner, we were far too busy throwing each other out of windows to be bothered with mere food. I will never forget the look of sheer incomprehension and terror on our director's face when she saw her educated and professional employees turn into drink-crazed savages fighting over who had more olives in their (multiple) martinis.

I'm not saying that Irish people are bad employees, just don't give them a free bar..

ahahahaha Galbally that is a hoot. I have heard rumors of you Irish folk tee hee hee (I have a wee bit in my heritage and when we got married we had our wedding pics taken before all the ceremony because the Irish side of the family would have been slap assed fall down drunk by the time we got there and would have been brawling all over the place) So I kind of get where you are coming from hehehehehe

SOJOURNER · Post by **SOJOURNER** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 2:44 pm

BabyRider wrote: Minks, you are absolutely right.

Bullet's uncle sent an invitation to his daughter's wedding, addessed only to him, and the invite said "and Guest." I was crushed, and infuriated. I am not going to the wedding out of protest. I'm pissed.

I know this pain.

When one is "with" someone for a length of time, especially within the family, one expects to be acknowledged by name. Not to be called by name is to be rebuffed.

When Harry and I were dating and then engaged (we were together 3-1/2 years before we married with 8 months of this time being officially "engaged"), we spent a lot of time at the yatch club - boating, drinking, partying, dances etc.

At special dinners and some of the dinner/dances, placards were set out. At that time "ONLY" the boat owner (who 99 out of 100 times was the male) was considered the member and was identified by name. Married spouses were identified as 'Mrs yatch club member' and all others, ME for almost 3 years, was GUEST. Like everyone didn't know my name!

Quiet person that I am, I had enough one dance and proceed in fun to identify myself to everyone there as "GUEST" all evening long (we all had a real fun time with this even after the evening was over -- I was Guest to many for a while).

It wasn't long after that when the Mrs's got a first name and I got a name too.

Perhaps you may want to rethink not going............ I'm sure Bullet would be sad not to have you with him.

You could go and wear a name pin with either your name or "Guest" on it

or

wear a tee-shirt saying you are Bullet's guest

or

go and just have fun with it and introduce yourself to friends and family as "guest".....

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 3:11 pm

minks wrote: Or better yet on the invite.... You and (please circle one of the below options)

Synonyms: accomplice, ally, assistant, associate, bedfellow, buddy, chum, co-worker, cohort, collaborator, colleague, companion, comrade, confederate, confrere, consort, crony, date, friend, helper, helpmate, husband, mate, pal, pard, participant, playmate, sidekick, spouse, teammate, wife

are invited to.....

Personally I like bedfellow ahahahahahahahahahahahah

I luv'em all.......'crony' :yh_rotfl

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 3:24 pm

Bez wrote: I luv'em all.......'crony' :yh_rotfl

Hehehe yeah funny huh

I have to say when I was married, the ex was employed by a large national firm and they would have christmas parties with thousands of people. The ex was a very social creature (bleck too much so) and these parties made me nausious so I never went. One year he practically begged me to go (thus after never attending for almost 10 years) so I agreed. I got the funniest responses when introduced as his wife "oh poor you", "OMG we never knew he was married", "oh we heard about you" they were all pretty annoying needless to say, I never went to another. Somedays it is your lack of pressence that speakes loudest ahahahahaha

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 3:37 pm

I dislike socialising with people from work (apart from 3 or 4 special people) so I only go if I have to which is maybe twice a year. We have a Christmas 'do' at the end of the month which I have been told I HAVE to go to. ...I don't drink much, but everyone else will get p****d and I shall get hacked off with it all and be glad when my 'duty' is over. Don't get me wrong. I'm a very sociable person but I've never been one for parties, pubs and clubs.

A nice meal with a few friends or family is more my scene, or a show or concert.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 4:41 pm

SnoozeControl wrote: Trust me, anyone I know would have taken advantage of that situation. *hic*

Thank god, I was beginning to think I might have a problem. Anyway, it was the best bloody work-thing I was ever at in me life! And the great thing was that they couldn't sack anyone, or they would have had to sack the whole division in Ireland. Actually I think it was more an upper management thing, than the fact they were American, I think one or two may actually have joined in for the laugh when they saw how things were inevitably going. Yes, one definetly did, he was jewish and he showed how to dance at a barmizvah or however you spell it. Or was he a russian?, to be honest my whole recollection of that night is a little hazy. I'm getting sidetracked again, oh crap.

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 4:54 pm

SOJOURNER wrote: That's a sticky wicket. Guest, Significant Other, Friend.......

The more you try not to offend, the more it seem like it is offending.

When it come right down to it, guest seems to be the best option. This way, if a spouse happens to be unavailable to attend, an employee could invite a friend or a family member along so they would not be the odd person out at a party for two's.

I agree with the term "guest". That word has a welcoming connotaton to it, don't ya think?

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Fri Nov 04, 2005 1:29 am

Why not have partner /guest then nobody can be offended .