The right thing to do??

samanthauk23 · Post by **samanthauk23** » Sun Dec 04, 2005 11:49 am

Ok.... I have just come out of a 16 month relationship with a guy that pretty much lied to me every time he opened his mouth.... i'd catch him out meeting various women from the internet when he'd tell me he'd actually been at work... lucky for me he wasn't very smart so it was easy to catch him lol....

He would also pose as single on various internet profiles and if i ever saw them he'd say it was a "mistake" ....

He kept promising to change and said he'd start to tell the truth but just kept lying and sneaking around behind my back and things actually got much worse so I ended it a couple of weeks ago...

He told me he wanted to stay friends and would not lie to me any more, I warned him that if he did I would disappear.... needless to say he DID lie again.... so yesterday I changed my number and my e-mail address and have found somewhere else to live (he does not have the address)....

Thing is, despite all the crap he put me thru I kinda miss him...or at least the him I first met before he turned into a n*bjockey!

have I done the right thing in cutting him out or was I bit too quick to act? After all the time we were together was it worth trying to salvage a friendship?

Confused....:-3

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Sun Dec 04, 2005 11:51 am

Confused....:-3
Yeah, so am I. You caught him in how many lies, stayed with him for 16 months, and are wondering if he'd make you a good friend? Yep, I'm confused how anyone could make that mistake. Are you a masochist?

Lil~Basco · Post by **Lil~Basco** » Sun Dec 04, 2005 11:58 am

samanthauk23 wrote:

Thing is, despite all the crap he put me thru I kinda miss him...or at least the him I first met before he turned into a n*bjockey!

have I done the right thing in cutting him out or was I bit too quick to act? After all the time we were together was it worth trying to salvage a friendship?

Confused....:-3

How can you miss having a person like this in your life. 16 months is way too long, to put with his crap. Put on your walking shoes and walk away.

samanthauk23 · Post by **samanthauk23** » Sun Dec 04, 2005 12:00 pm

I knew it... I am queen freak! Its just way hard to stop caring for some reason.... even now i wonder what he's up to and stuff! Even tho he was such a nob!

I guess I just thought he'd be able to change.... like most do when they want something to work out...

Masochistic tendencies...hmm...very possible by the sounds of things lol!

SOJOURNER · Post by **SOJOURNER** » Sun Dec 04, 2005 12:04 pm

I'd say you are missing the drama he brought into your life. It's time to get your excitement in better ways now. Stick to your decision which obviously was made intellectualy and bury the emotional stuff that is pulling at you now. Onward and upward as the progressive midget once said............

samanthauk23 · Post by **samanthauk23** » Sun Dec 04, 2005 12:04 pm

SnoozeControl wrote: Galbally's single.

whom?? Lol

*SPLUTTERS* and progressive midget! Mwahahaaaaaa :wah:

SOJOURNER · Post by **SOJOURNER** » Sun Dec 04, 2005 12:08 pm

There's Wolfie too............

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Sun Dec 04, 2005 12:10 pm

samanthauk23 wrote: Ok.... I have just come out of a 16 month relationship with a guy that pretty much lied to me every time he opened his mouth.... i'd catch him out meeting various women from the internet when he'd tell me he'd actually been at work... lucky for me he wasn't very smart so it was easy to catch him lol....

Thing is, despite all the crap he put me thru I kinda miss him...or at least the him I first met before he turned into a n*bjockey!

have I done the right thing in cutting him out or was I bit too quick to act? After all the time we were together was it worth trying to salvage a friendship?

Confused....:-3

Good ridance to bad rubbage. Maybe you just miss having another body in the house - not him. I think it's natural to miss the "company" you are used to having. It is more difficult to be alone right after a relationship has ended - you'll get used to being alone and then you will be ever so grateful you don't have that deception in your life. JMO.

samanthauk23 · Post by **samanthauk23** » Sun Dec 04, 2005 12:14 pm

nvalleyvee wrote: Good ridance to bad rubbage. Maybe you just miss having another body in the house - not him.

i think you probably hit the nail right on the head there! It may just be a case of habit and being used to being with someone...singledom is kinda scary right now. Am worried I'll never trust anyone again either

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Sun Dec 04, 2005 12:17 pm

samanthauk23 wrote: i think you probably hit the nail right on the head there! It may just be a case of habit and being used to being with someone...singledom is kinda scary right now. Am worried I'll never trust anyone again either

Just make sure you learned the lesson. You'll be able to trust someone again - when you get to know them better. I had to learn to ask the right questions and then be honest with myself if I saw a liar.

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Sun Dec 04, 2005 12:41 pm

YOu did the right thing...you're just a bit lonely at the moment ...it'll pass...you'll be fine..

Frederick · Post by **Frederick** » Sun Dec 04, 2005 1:00 pm

Listen girl, A LEOPARD DOESN'T CHANGE IT'S SPOTS. I've been married twenty-five years, and if I messed about with another woman, I would't even get past the front door, and rightly so. Of course you'll miss him. Have a good cry, get drunk and then concentrate on anything to take your mind off him. Give it a couple of months, then start going out with normal friends and take it from there. You may well have lost your man, but you would have gained something far more important that than that - your self respect.

venus · Post by **venus** » Sun Dec 04, 2005 1:10 pm

hear hear Fred lm with you on this one

Just be glad your well rid of him hunni

you will take some time out and probably meet some loosers and then when your least expecting it Mr right will happen along.:-4

its always the way it works xx

samanthauk23 · Post by **samanthauk23** » Sun Dec 04, 2005 1:45 pm

Thanks for the kind words guys and gals - you all speak much sense!

Just bloody horrible isn't it??

I'll have that cry as I haven't allowed myself to do that yet...then once I have I shall try to move on....

Maybe I need to find a hobby or something, lol, I used to do kickboxing so maybe I'll get back into it....of course the only prob would be the temptation to practice on HIM!

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Sun Dec 04, 2005 1:55 pm

samanthauk23 wrote: Thanks for the kind words guys and gals - you all speak much sense!

Just bloody horrible isn't it??

I'll have that cry as I haven't allowed myself to do that yet...then once I have I shall try to move on....

Maybe I need to find a hobby or something, lol, I used to do kickboxing so maybe I'll get back into it....of course the only prob would be the temptation to practice on HIM!

Please do cry..................there is no TRY in moving on..............there is only moving on as you have already done physically.

Wolverine · Post by **Wolverine** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 2:02 am

SOJOURNER wrote: There's Wolfie too............
You are my new favorite person Sojo. you ever need anything, anything at all... I'm your guy. Hell, i'll even come out and help you move.:wah:

samanthauk23 · Post by **samanthauk23** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 5:00 am

Hiya there Wolfie, you're another experienced forumer then? (Yes it is a word, i have decided lol) This forum business is all new to me but its so much fun lol!

Hows everyone doing today?

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 7:00 am

Oh geesh. Don't walk away from this guy. RUN. Run fast, run far unless you want to live in hell.

samanthauk23 · Post by **samanthauk23** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 7:12 am

Hehe, *puts running shoes on* you better believe I am! I feel slightly better today.... haven't spoken to him a a couple of days and already feel as tho i'm getting some freedom back and maybe...just MAYBE life is gonna be a bit sweeter tho I'm single

jennyswan · Post by **jennyswan** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 9:52 am

have I done the right thing in cutting him out or was I bit too quick to act? After all the time we were together was it worth trying to salvage a friendship?

I really think you are doing the right thing. Funny thing though how some of us fall for the bad guys.

What's the saying YOU ALWAYS HURT THE ONE YOU LOVE

AND ALWAYS LOVE THE ONE WHO HURTS.

So don't worry put on your dancing shoes and enjoy the single life!!

SOJOURNER · Post by **SOJOURNER** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 10:11 am

Sometimes when a relationship ends, you need to "find yourself" again. We sometimes get lost while we are in a relationship. We drop long time interests for new ones (because they are 'his', we change our style of dress and. maybe, even our style of speech (cuz he likes it like that), and we ignore old friends for the new ones he perfers..............

Eventually you will find that certain someone who will enhance the person YOU are and you'll blossom into the woman you are truly meant to be.

All things come to she/he who waits. Don't settle.

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 4:05 pm

Samantha

If that pic is really you, I agree, he's a total nob who should get down to specsavers asap

Jeez - Is he blind????

venus · Post by **venus** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 4:10 pm

He probably took for granted that she would always be there.

Forgot that other men have eyes:wah:

I mean come on she aint gonna be single for long unless she chooses...

Be strong huni and play around for awhile...:sneaky:

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 4:14 pm

Funny how guys don't realize there comes a time when they've gone over the limit of what their woman will take.

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 4:27 pm

SnoozeControl wrote: Uncle Kram, I take exception to that post! There are more important things than a pretty face, beautiful hair, good body... Oh nevermind!
I agree - just a first impression. Sure Sams attractive on the inside too

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 4:36 pm

you little rascal

Wolverine · Post by **Wolverine** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 6:08 pm

Peg wrote: Funny how guys don't realize there comes a time when they've gone over the limit of what their woman will take.
uh... Hello??? we're guys. we're stupid.

ComfortablyNumb · Post by **ComfortablyNumb** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 6:40 pm

Sam. A lot of fit blokes do kickboxing! Sounds like a good idea.

The Red One · Post by **The Red One** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 8:36 pm

Samantha: I have been with my husband for 11 years and married to him for 10 of those, up until a year or two ago I didn't trust him much. We had and do have a wonderful and great marriage, but still, after being in an abusive marriage before him for a year and three months and the hubby doing a few things that reminded me of the ex I had a really hard time, I finally realized he will never hurt me the way the ex did (two reasons, One, my brother and two, I'd kill him or get even by divorcing him). The care for the ex will be there for awhile, you were with him for awhile, having good times in the beginning (which those memories will last for some time). I still remember the good times with the ex and smile and then those bad times come around and remind me that life has gotten much better. Things will get better for you, only it will take some time. Hope things will go better for you than they did me. :yh_bigsmi