A strange call from the past-

mominiowa · Post by **mominiowa** » Sat Dec 10, 2005 7:52 pm

I had a strange call today from my past--in between my X and my hubby...It shocked me and made my heart fall to the floor. I repeatedly asked where he got my cell number..he then said -would u rather I call your house..I have that too...It spooked me-but I played it off as not a big deal...I was shaking so badly that I almost made myself sick. I don't know why- I am not afraid of him..I am afraid of my past ruining my future..No I wasn't a serial killer or anything -I just went on a binge of weirdness after my X left me..I drank a little..got stupid a little, and dated a 23 year old when i was 28- no it doesn't sound that strange..but you can imagine when I finally wised up- how attached he had become and I just passed him off as a toy...I know- the unexpected from the MOM of all people...we are all human...But why am I having this crazy tummy ache and wondering if he will call again..Will he ruin my life because he said I ruined his by moving away from him?? Ohhhhhh gezz- it was a 6 month romance from hell for gawd sakes..I had kids -he didn't - I was just starting chemo and he wanted to go out--what the hell....is it guilt because my hubby doesn't know about him? I never even knew my husband so why does it matter? It was just a phone call for gwads sake...why get upset....MOM IS GOING NUTS HERE!!!!!!!

StupidCowboyTricks · Post by **StupidCowboyTricks** » Sat Dec 10, 2005 8:49 pm

mominiowa wrote: I had a strange call today from my past--in between my X and my hubby...It shocked me and made my heart fall to the floor. I repeatedly asked where he got my cell number..he then said -would u rather I call your house..I have that too...It spooked me-but I played it off as not a big deal...I was shaking so badly that I almost made myself sick. I don't know why- I am not afraid of him..I am afraid of my past ruining my future..No I wasn't a serial killer or anything -I just went on a binge of weirdness after my X left me..I drank a little..got stupid a little, and dated a 23 year old when i was 28- no it doesn't sound that strange..but you can imagine when I finally wised up- how attached he had become and I just passed him off as a toy...I know- the unexpected from the MOM of all people...we are all human...But why am I having this crazy tummy ache and wondering if he will call again..Will he ruin my life because he said I ruined his by moving away from him?? Ohhhhhh gezz- it was a 6 month romance from hell for gawd sakes..I had kids -he didn't - I was just starting chemo and he wanted to go out--what the hell....is it guilt because my hubby doesn't know about him? I never even knew my husband so why does it matter? It was just a phone call for gwads sake...why get upset....MOM IS GOING NUTS HERE!!!!!!!
Did he say why he was calling and how he got your number's, how did your convo end?

mominiowa · Post by **mominiowa** » Sat Dec 10, 2005 9:40 pm

I had kept in contact with his mom -as she was a boss of mine at one time...But it has been way before our wedding that I have spoke to her..I really didn't even know if they knew I had gotten married..Anyway- he said he just wanted me to know that I really screwed up i his life but that it took till just this year for him to figure out that I wasn't the cause of all of it- then he asked if we could work on a friendship and email and such and I told him I didn't think that would work..my hubby is a very jealous man as his first wife left him high and dry for some truck driver in Arkansas...He doesn't like me to even be on the computer after he goes to bed...I have invited him on several occasions to check out this forum because this is the only place I talk to people I do not know...but I LOVE! hee hee......anyway- he stated he understood and would try and not to interfere with my life..needless to say I have had two more voice messages on my cell since this morning when the call came in.......

I am just going to have to tell my husband - I feel if I do maybe he won't think I am hiding something from him?? Hell I just don't know.

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Sun Dec 11, 2005 12:05 am

Mom, tell your other half ASAP,

tell him how worried you are and get him to answer the phone next time he calls, that should shake the little bugger up.

Some men just dont know when to let go, and he's obviously bitter, dont let him ruin your relationship with your husband.

The longer you leave this the harder it'll be to tell him, and when you finally do he'll wonder why you left it so long.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Sun Dec 11, 2005 5:43 am

I agree with Abbey, let your husband answer the cell phone when it rings, and tell the guy off. The past is the past, and that guy shouldn't have your number in the first place. You shouldn't have guilt about it, you are happy now and that is what counts.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Dec 11, 2005 5:52 am

I agree too, let your husband know and let him handle it. This guy needs to be shut down immediately. The longer you wait, the more potential for unwanted or un-needed trouble. Also if this guy is still hanging on after all this time and knowing your married he isnt 100% stable. Take care of business mom.

The Red One · Post by **The Red One** » Sun Dec 11, 2005 6:27 am

Mom your posts have shaken me to the bones of my body. It's freaky. I agree with everyone else, tell the hubby and let him deal with it. I'm the suspicious kind of person that is always looking over my shoulder anyway. This guy does need to be stopped now and what better way than to have your husband say something along the lines of call her again and blah blah blah (you all can fill in the blah's :-3 ). Is your home number private or listed? How would he know your married name? It's really not hard to find out this info on the net.

teech · Post by **teech** » Fri Dec 16, 2005 12:14 pm

mominiowa wrote: ..Anyway- he said he just wanted me to know that I really screwed up i his life but that it took till just this year for him to figure out that I wasn't the cause of all of it- then he asked if we could work on a friendship and email and such and I told him I didn't think that would work

This guy has spent a long time believing that you caused serious problems in his life. He'll have spent that time festering over it. For whatever reason, he has now realised it wasn't you at all. Maybe he's had therapy. Sometimes when we obsess in this way we assume that the other party are also hung up on it. I see this as him trying to apologise for being so bitter for so long.

If, and I mean if - it's your choice, you speak to him again be upbeat and positive. You are glad he's got his life back on track, but you don't think being friends is a direction you are willing to go in as your life has moved on too. If he keeps calling then set your hubby on him.

BTW it's ok to have had a life before you met your other half. Don't feel bad about that. As for going off the rails.... in whose opinion? It was right for you at the time.