Tipping a server

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 8:31 am

Being a bartender and a sometimes waitress, I always try to give the best service possible to every customer I deal with. After all, that is why people go out, right? For the sevice. There is not much on any menu that I can't make at home, and going out to have someone else serve your food and clean up after you is a luxury. One you pay for by tipping.

Now. If a server is slow, makes mistakes, is rude or inattentve, I do not tip as well. I tip outragreously if I get exceptional service, and I tip light if my server is not up to par. There are a couple of servers in the restaraunt where I work who have been there for 13 years, 17 years, one has been there almost 20. At least one of them is slow, she snaps at her customers and is just plain rude. What is your general rule when it comes to tipping a server? Always a 20% tip? Do you leave a tip according to the service you got? Do you not tip at all? Because some of these people I work with seem to think that they are just automatically due a tip, no matter how poorly they serve. What do you do?

Bill Sikes · Post by **Bill Sikes** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 8:51 am

BabyRider wrote: Being a bartender and a sometimes waitress, I always try to give the best service possible to every customer I deal with. After all, that is why people go out, right? For the sevice. There is not much on any menu that I can't make at home, and going out to have someone else serve your food and clean up after you is a luxury. One you pay for by tipping.

WARNING: UK/USA differences abound.

The staff are already paid. IMO they get a "tip" for above-average service, not for just being there.

BabyRider wrote: Now. If a server is slow, makes mistakes, is rude or inattentve, I do not tip as well.

I would not leave a tip for this person. However, I would only make a complaint if they were really bad - not just new at the job.

BabyRider wrote: I tip outragreously if I get exceptional service, and I tip light if my server is not up to par. There are a couple of servers in the restaraunt where I work who have been there for 13 years, 17 years, one has been there almost 20. At least one of them is slow, she snaps at her customers and is just plain rude. What is your general rule when it comes to tipping a server? Always a 20% tip? Do you leave a tip according to the service you got? Do you not tip at all? Because some of these people I work with seem to think that they are just automatically due a tip, no matter how poorly they serve. What do you do?

10% is the approximate norm here, unless there is another charge such as the odious "service charge" (which it is occasionally appropriate to refuse to pay).

Bothwell · Post by **Bothwell** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 8:51 am

Tipping is one of the great differences between the USA and the UK. I have never ever seen anyone tip a bartender over here, in fact if you left change on the bar the bartender would probably tell you that you have left some change on the bar.

I have been told by Americans that the reason is that traditionally a large part of the wages of waiters/waitresses etc is made up of tips, if so we should introduce it here because in my experience service in bars and restaurants is pretty lousy.

I do however refuse to pay a "Service" charge, ie the 12.5% sometimes put on restaurant bills regardless of service, when I tip I would guess I always tip too much so it is not that I am a skinflint it's just that I think the tip should be for better than average service rather than just doing the job, in addition the service charge is usually pooled whereas if I tip the Waiter/Waitress I know they get it, if they then want to pool it fine.

greydeadhead · Post by **greydeadhead** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 8:54 am

It all depends on the service and the waitstaff. If they do a good job.. and are pleasant . then they get 20%... if not they get less. I was a chef for 15 years.. so I know that the kitchen can mess them up..so Itrynot to take that into consideration.

Bill Sikes · Post by **Bill Sikes** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 8:59 am

Bothwell wrote: Tipping is one of the great differences between the USA and the UK. I have never ever seen anyone tip a bartender over here, in fact if you left change on the bar the bartender would probably tell you that you have left some change on the bar.

Sorry, I missed that - Tip a barman? Why??? When???

Bothwell wrote: I do however refuse to pay a "Service" charge, ie the 12.5% sometimes put on restaurant bills regardless of service

I agree, the "service charge" is an outrage. You know the Frogs have a "cover charge", too?!?

Bothwell wrote: in addition the service charge is usually pooled whereas if I tip the Waiter/Waitress I know they get it, if they then want to pool it fine.

Um. IME that is not usual - the tips are almost invariably pooled, and in some cases distributed between all personnel, even the proprieter (I do not like the latter practice)!

Suresh Gupta · Post by **Suresh Gupta** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 9:59 am

What an interesting topic to discuss!

Paula · Post by **Paula** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 11:37 am

No matter where we go we are remembered for generous tips. We work hard and appreciate people who wait on us. People remember good tippers and the service is gauranteed good. If they aren't up to snuff well, we still give and another customer will let them know if they are not good, we don't do that. $10.00 for any lunch to $45.00, a $20.00 dollar bill for a $100.00 dinner. We do lunch as a foursome as there are four who work together.

LottomagicZ4941 · Post by **LottomagicZ4941** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 12:05 pm

Sometimes I tip well even if the service is poor. Like to give people the bennifit of the doubt that they are just having a bad day.

Usually I get good service so it is not a problem.

One time a guy server was flirting with my wife and his tip was "Cut back on the hun" as he kept saying hay hun to her.

And if a waitress is to flirty with me my wife has us only give a token tip. A few times I have given out my Lotto Magic busisness card but this irks the wife so generally I don't get to give out the busisness cards.

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Lon · Post by **Lon** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 12:06 pm

There is no tipping in New Zealand ot Australia. It's just not done, except by American tourists that don't know any better.

Erinna1112 · Post by **Erinna1112** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 12:12 pm

Bill Sikes wrote: Sorry, I missed that - Tip a barman? Why??? When???
All the time, since bartenders usually make the same "tipped employee" wage in this country that servers do - $2.65/hour. That's right...two dollars and sixty-five cents per hour is your wage if you get tips.

Paula · Post by **Paula** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 12:13 pm

Lon wrote: There is no tipping in New Zealand ot Australia. It's just not done, except by American tourists that don't know any better.

Thats rotten now, how do you show appreciation and a few bucks what the hell, you keep all your money...if you are that tight, you are NO fun at all...i can tell--you are a TAKER and not a GIVER, that will haunt you someday in need? You don't know any better!

yes, you would punch me in the nose!

Erinna1112 · Post by **Erinna1112** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 12:23 pm

Angie wrote:

Although... we are all human and we are entiled to have bad days....
I'm not sure I entirely agree with this. As someone who has held every position there is to hold in a restaurant, from dishwasher to manager, I am of the opinion that servers can certainly have bad days, but if they allow it to affect their work, the entire operation suffers. No one gets a job as a server and thinks they will not have to talk to people.

or even sometimes the quality of your dinning experience may not be entirely the servers fault. The kitchen may have much to do with the timing or food quality. It is the server who is judged in the end by the customer's satisfaction.
Now, THIS is something I wish more restaurant patrons thought about. If the kitchen is slow, or slammed, or backed up, or there's a new cook....the customer takes it out on the server, because that's the person he sees. As long as the server keeps the customer up to date, and asks if there are any changes that need to be made to the order to keep the customer satisfied, I think the customer should be happy with that.

Erinna1112 · Post by **Erinna1112** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 12:26 pm

Lon wrote: There is no tipping in New Zealand ot Australia. It's just not done, except by American tourists that don't know any better.
I would wager that the server who just got a bonus doesn't go run after the tourist and try to give the money back, tho

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 12:34 pm

If i go to a pub/bar with my friends & its busy i always tip the bartender telling him to keep the change or get himself a drink, and it always insures that i'm served pretty quick when i next go up.

I do have a tendency to overtip my hairdresser, the taxidriver, waiter/waitress i guess i just dont like the thought of people thinking i'm mean, on the odd occasion that i have had poor service i still overtip & then walk away cursing them to myself, they must think me a complete eejit

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 1:03 pm

Really interesting to learn of the different customs in other countries. No tipping in New Zealand? I'd imagine, then, that the servers there are paid a higher wage than they are here. True? Here, if the server makes less than an 8% tip, it has cost them to wait on the table, because they are taxed 8% of their food sales. And I agree with Erinna, when a server is having a "bad day", that is not the problem of the customer. You can leave your bad day at the door. I also have been in every aspect of the service industry, from dishwasher to general manager, and when I ran my restaurant, the servers knew...Leave your problems at home, and give the guests what they are here for: Smiling, efficient service. Period. I've gone to work with the weight of the world on my mind, and not a soul there knew it.

gmc · Post by **gmc** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 1:04 pm

I'm horribly ambivalent about this, I realise it's an important part of a waitresses or waiter income but I think it's degrading for both parties. Pay for the meal and the server should get a decent wage in the first place, if you pay for a meal in a restaurant why should you pay extra since the cost of serving it should be in the price all you're doing is subsidising the employer. It's treating the server like a servant dependant on my goodwill rather than respecting them for doing a job in the first place. I have had jobs where I got tips frankly I find it humiliating,I found it insulting, it smacks of feudalism depending on the largesse of a superior for your livelihood. It's an odd attitide I know.

Do you tip the bus driver, the dustman, taxi driver?

Paula · Post by **Paula** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 1:09 pm

Do you tip the bus driver, the dustman, taxi driver?[/QUOTE] Yes, the paper carrier, the hairdresser, massage therapists, valet parking, food & bar servers, thats the way it is in this country? Now you know what a life i have? We here are always giving. :-2

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 1:23 pm

gmc wrote: I'm horribly ambivalent about this, I realise it's an important part of a waitresses or waiter income but I think it's degrading for both parties. Pay for the meal and the server should get a decent wage in the first place, if you pay for a meal in a restaurant why should you pay extra since the cost of serving it should be in the price all you're doing is subsidising the employer. It's treating the server like a servant dependant on my goodwill rather than respecting them for doing a job in the first place. I have had jobs where I got tips frankly I find it humiliating,I found it insulting, it smacks of feudalism depending on the largesse of a superior for your livelihood. It's an odd attitide I know.

Do you tip the bus driver, the dustman, taxi driver?
"Server", "servant", they sound very similar, don't they? And believe me, I'd be ok with being paid the $26 an hour that I average as a bartender, and not have to rely on tips. And since what you are used to is different than what I am used to, it's understandable how it would leave a bad taste in your mouth. Frankly, the better I do at my job, the more money I make. And when I'm the one in control of that, I'm a happy camper. The reality is that most bartenders DON'T make $26 an hour. I happen to have a good following and work in a good place.

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 3:34 pm

Moonlighted in the resaurant ,bar business fior most of my life.I am an excellent tipper,for excellent service. I am a polite, but demanding diner. I do not eat in fast food restaurants. I consider eating out to be a luxury (as opposed to necessity), I do so quite reguarly. I expect it to be enjoyable. This is the reason that many restaurant employees do not do well with tips. They do not understand the concept of what the job is... Waitressing ,or bartending is actually having the opportunity to be in business for yourself. The establishment provides you with a product to sell, and a location to sell it in.. It is up to the individual how well they know their product, how they present it, and how astute they are at people skills

and personality skills.. that make the ticket higher, and the diners have a pleasant experience. Candidates that accept employment in the food service industry thinking that their job is to schlep food from the kitchen to a table.. soon realize that they will not make money in this field.

capt_buzzard · Post by **capt_buzzard** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 3:41 pm

In Ireland, there is usually a 12% service charge on Everything. + VAT Tax.

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 4:12 pm

I was taught that the word "tip" came from "To Insure Promptness" and I

like to always tip well, especially when I was single and dined alone. Women

I think are thought of as notoriously bad tippers, and I like to dispel at

least some of that notion. I usually give 20%, and if it comes out uneven,

I round up to the nearest dollar. It's been years since I have had bad service

but when I did, I still left something so that they would know I didn't

"forget".

Erinna1112 · Post by **Erinna1112** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 7:54 pm

abbey wrote: If i go to a pub/bar with my friends & its busy i always tip the bartender telling him to keep the change or get himself a drink, and it always insures that i'm served pretty quick when i next go up.

:o
Just an FYI...it's illegal for anyone who is serving alcohol to be drinking alcohol. I won't say it doesn't happen; just that it's not precisely kosher.

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 10:50 pm

Being a bartender, I know how much I enjoy my tips. Therefore, I tip everyone. The better the service, the better the tip. If I hear a customer being nasty to a waitress, etc. over something that is out of their control, I try to tip a little better to make their day a little brighter. Service has to be really horrible for me not to leave at least something. When I am working, I try to be as pleasant as possible to everyone, but if I know someone is going to leave a $2 tip and another person is going to leave a quarter tip, they both need a drink at the same time, the better tipper is getting their drink first.

Bill Sikes · Post by **Bill Sikes** » Fri Jan 21, 2005 3:28 am

Originally Posted by Bill Sikes

Sorry, I missed that - Tip a barman? Why??? When???

Erinna1112 wrote: All the time, since bartenders usually make the same "tipped employee" wage in this country that servers do - $2.65/hour. That's right...two dollars and sixty-five cents per hour is your wage if you get tips.

Weird. That's well below the statutory minimum wage here. I'm surprised that anyone thinks it worth the effort.

Bill Sikes · Post by **Bill Sikes** » Fri Jan 21, 2005 3:31 am

Originally Posted by Lon

There is no tipping in New Zealand ot Australia. It's just not done, except by American tourists that don't know any better.

Paula wrote: Thats rotten now, how do you show appreciation

I suppose that, as here, you say "thanks".

Paula wrote: and a few bucks what the hell, you keep all your money...if you are that tight, you are NO fun at all...i can tell--you are a TAKER and not a GIVER, that will haunt you someday in need? You don't know any better!

This misdirected rant tells me that you not in the least cosmopolitan.

Bill Sikes · Post by **Bill Sikes** » Fri Jan 21, 2005 3:32 am

Erinna1112 wrote: I would wager that the server who just got a bonus doesn't go run after the tourist and try to give the money back, tho

"A fool and his money".

Bill Sikes · Post by **Bill Sikes** » Fri Jan 21, 2005 3:33 am

abbey wrote: on the odd occasion that i have had poor service i still overtip & then walk away cursing them to myself, they must think me a complete eejit

See below!

Bill Sikes · Post by **Bill Sikes** » Fri Jan 21, 2005 3:35 am

BabyRider wrote: The reality is that most bartenders DON'T make $26 an hour. I happen to have a good following and work in a good place.

Perhaps barmaids make more than barmen?

Bill Sikes · Post by **Bill Sikes** » Fri Jan 21, 2005 3:37 am

Erinna1112 wrote: Just an FYI...it's illegal for anyone who is serving alcohol to be drinking alcohol. I won't say it doesn't happen; just that it's not precisely kosher.

It happens all the time here....

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Fri Jan 21, 2005 4:08 am

This is bar etiquette in New York.. Have never seen it since I left New York. When you sit at the bar... depending on how long you plan to stay.. You put an amount of money on the bar in front of you. The bar tender continues to take money from the pile as you sit there. You may add to the funds, if you wind up drinking more, or being there longer than you expected. ( this in in local pub type places.) usually you will leave what is left on the bar for the bartender. But here is something else not found outside of New York.. The third drink, is very often "On the bartender. ( five on beer). Professionally minded waitresses and bartenders routinely visit each others place of employment. Tipping each other. Its part of the job. Like marketing or public relations in other fields.. I could be wrong. this is only my opinion.. It seems to me that with the exception of a few restaurants that try to be more sophisticated... The majority of places are in business just to fuel people up, when they are hungry. And the customers simply come in for fuel when they are hungry. Food is more of a necessity.. than a dining experience. Every person who works in the food industry knows.. If they want to make money they have to find employment in a restaurant or bar with some stature. But then the requirements for working there are more strenuous.... so only the very talented

and motivated seek these positions.

cars · Post by **cars** » Fri Jan 21, 2005 7:58 am

valerie wrote: I was taught that the word "tip" came from "To Insure Promptness" and I

like to always tip well, especially when I was single and dined alone. Women

I think are thought of as notoriously bad tippers, and I like to dispel at

least some of that notion. I usually give 20%, and if it comes out uneven,

I round up to the nearest dollar. It's been years since I have had bad service

but when I did, I still left something so that they would know I didn't

"forget".

I to always thought TIP was "To Insure Promptness", but then I heard others say TIPS means "To Insure Proper Service"! Either way as so many FG people have said here, so many right on target opinions regarding the attitude of the server is all important.

Anyway, I have a friend that when we go a restaurant and the waiter/waitress(Server) comes over to great us all, he gives that person a $10 bill (or more depending on crowd size) and says that is just a token tip. It could be doubled or trippled or more depending on the service we recieve. Needless to say service is always great. I starting doing this myself when my Wife & I go out on our own , and it works!!

Cars :driving:

Paula · Post by **Paula** » Fri Jan 21, 2005 8:52 am

Peg wrote: Being a bartender, I know how much I enjoy my tips. Therefore, I tip everyone. The better the service, the better the tip. If I hear a customer being nasty to a waitress, etc. over something that is out of their control, I try to tip a little better to make their day a little brighter. Service has to be really horrible for me not to leave at least something. When I am working, I try to be as pleasant as possible to everyone, but if I know someone is going to leave a $2 tip and another person is going to leave a quarter tip, they both need a drink at the same time, the better tipper is getting their drink first.

Any-one who leaves a quarter should stay home, i don't know what i would do...i have been told i would not make a good waitress....25cents...i can't believe that, i would say if they were leaving, oh you left something...hahahahaha :wah: :rolleyes: